I'll love you, but just this twice.
• • •
It was getting more harder and harder to breath, he shifted around, beads of sweat scattering themselves simultaneously on his forehead.
His chest was rising and falling in a harsh manner.
His eyes were screwed shut, but he saw.
He was seeing everything again.
The aliens.
The explosions.
He could hear the screams, he could see the people dying.
He could see his very soul getting snatched away from him as he sacrificed what he had for all of them.
As he drove that nuke upwards, he felt cold.
His chest tightened in a tortuously painful way, and the air wouldn't make it in.
Darkness consumed him, his pants never ceasing, and it took him a while to actually open his eyes and realise that he was drenched in sweat in his bedroom.
The tightening in his chest didn't leave him, and he had to grab his chest in pain, in fear that his life would actually end right now.
Turning around sharply, the disappointment and the fear doubled at finding the bed cold, and empty.
"Evelyn!" He barely even breathed it out, calling out to her like a pathetic weakling.
She wasn't there to save him, he would have to face this on his own.
His harsh grip tore open his shirt from in front, displaying the ragged, ugly, scar in the centre of his chest.
He felt like dying.
Not being able to breath was convincing him that he was already living his last moments, that was until.
"It's me, it's me. I'm here. I'm right beside you, Tony." She slowly soothed him out of his panic attack, brushing away his brown hair that was soaked in his sweat, and he was eternally grateful for her in that moment.
"It's okay. You're okay, just breath with me." Evelyn nodded, brushing her knuckles against his cheek as he breathed in.
His worries all diminished with the sound of her voice.
She had both her hands in his hair, tracing random patterns, an action he learned to love.
And slowly, he found himself inhaling without the stinging pain.
"I'm here." She shook her head, she didn't leave.
She was here.
She didn't leave, and that was it for him.
"Fuck it. Just fuck it. Fuck everything. I love you."
And Tony Stark had said the words to her.
The words she always wanted to hear, and with no other words exchanged, he captured her lips ever so aggressively, wanting every inch of her.
Rolling them over, he pinned her hands above her head, and trailed his kisses down to her neck, and through out all of that, she was trying to snap herself out of her shocked state.
But Tony Stark said the words.
Tony Stark said the words, and he didn't regret them.
Pulling away, he brushed her beautiful blonde hair away from her face, and he sighed.
"You'll probably never take me back and I know that, but you fucked me up. You ruined me for anyone else," lifting his eyes to meet hers for the first time since he said those words to her, he whispered, "so it's you, or nobody else."
His brown eyes showed sincerity and honesty, but most of all, they shined with a foreign emotion.
An emotion Evelyn had seen several times in his eyes, but could never identify.
But she did now.
And she realised, that foreign emotion was love.
His eyes.
They shined with love.
"I love you, and I'm going to show you that the only way I know how." He paused, licking his lips, "just let me."
"Tony..." she whispered, loving the look in his eyes.
"Let me love you." He begged her.
He loved her.
He loved her, and it will only ever be her.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned upwards, and captured their lips together.
He ripped away from her, and took of his shirt gently, not rushing like he usually did.
She had helped herself and borrowed one of his shirts to help her sleep.
And button by button were undone, and she laid beneath him sweaty and aroused.
A soft look glistened on his facial expression, he didn't hide anything away, not this time.
This time he would let her read him, this time he would love her.
This time he would love her like she deserved.
Planting his lips right above her belly button, he slid his hand slowly and softly all over her right thigh.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
He was taking his time.
He was taking too much time, which was unlike him.
"I'm making love to you."
He cringed immediately after he said that, and if she leaned in a bit, she would spot a faint colour of pink, invading his cheeks.
"Let me do this, Vee. Let me show you that I could love you more. That I could love you more than I love myself. I love you."
He unclasped her bra, and grabbed her breast in his hand, giving it a tiny squeeze, while attaching his lips to her neck.
Nibbling on her sweet spot, he tried not to let the sound of her heavy moans distract him, but it was almost impossible.
But if anything, it egged him on, it made him realise that he had always felt that way.
He had always been in love with her, but he was too afraid.
Too afraid of loving her.
Too afraid of loving her too much, and watching her walk away.
His member was straining his jeans, but he paid no mind to it.
It was all about her right now, she was his.
He was hers.
She leaned up, and grinded her core against his hard length, that was way too uncomfortable tucked in his jeans.
Releasing a groan, he pinned her arms above her head, and placed his lips on her.
"I love you."
He pecked her lips.
"I love you."
He kissed her jaw.
"I will forever be in love with you."
He attacked her neck.
Moaning, she scratched his back, creating her marks.
Marks that were painful, but at the same time pleasurable.
Her eyes landed on his scar, but he pressed his chest against hers immediately, her boobs slamming against his abs.
A part of her had noticed that he was trying to hide away his mark, but another part convinced her otherwise.
Ever so gently, he trailed kisses down to her boobs, between the valley of both of them, down to her to stomach, and stopped right above her black lace panties.
He locked eyes with her as he slid them off of her, using just his mouth.
His breath fanned her core, and she gulped, wondering what the hell had possessed that man.
A faint smile crossed his lips for a second, but it was gone as soon as he attached his lips to her sex.
"Ohhh." She gripped his hair instantly, surprised at his foreign action.
He never went down on her, not ever.
His tongue skilfully slid across her folds, almost as if he was ordering her to orgasm.
"Mmm, god fuck. Tony."
Her hips bucked upwards, forcing him to slid his tongue even deeper into her wet core.
"You're soaked." He spoke, as her eyes rolled backwards.
Her legs trembled, and she came right into his mouth, hitting the headboard as she screamed.
His lips were shining with her arousal, and he licked them, loving the taste of her on his lips.
Looking down at his sweatpants, he observed the very obvious bulge, and he took them off, along with his Calvin Klein boxer briefs.
And he just stood there, with his naked glory, gazing down at her with love in his brown eyes.
"Kiss me." She begged him, with lust in her orbs.
A low grin crept on his face, and he positioned himself above her, his arms right beside her face.
"With pleasure."
Lowering himself against her, he captured her lips and moved himself downwards, sliding his length all over the surface of her flat stomach.
When he reached her entrance, he slipped his tongue in her mouth, and at the same minute, he slid himself inside her, muffling her moans in the kiss.
His movements weren't rough or fast like they normally were, he moved slowly in and out of her, his eyes never leaving hers with their foreheads against each other.
Her hands were clawing at his back, as he slid deep inside her, but he didn't mind.
He liked having her this close.
"Say my name." He moaned out, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, smelling her.
"Tony.."
"Again."
He slid himself almost completely out of her before slamming himself inside again.
"Tony!"
"Again." He growled, she was his.
Mind.
Body.
Soul.
And heart.
"Oh, god. Tony!" She came around him.
"So fucking tight!"
An evil thought crossed his mind as he stared at her sweaty stomach.
He could replace what he had lost.
He could cum inside her.
He could-
"No." She whispered, shaking her head, reading his mind.
He bit his lip and looked away, he was embarrassed, but he wanted to do this for his own sanity.
Cupping his face, she pressed his lips on hers, and she gripped his hair, pulling him closer to her chest, as he moved faster.
"Not like this, Tony."
Her soft voice was all it took to snap him out of it, and just like that, he slid out of her with every bit of self control he had, and came all over her.
Panting, he fell off of her on the other side of the bed, with a guilty feeling.
"I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." He apologised, his back facing her.
"Don't. Don't apologise."
Rolling him over, she straddled him, and he started to protest.
His eyes were glued down to his scar, wanting to shield it away from her, but she stopped him.
"I want you. With or without the scar."
Gazing into her eyes, he watched in stunned silence as she leaned down at trailed kisses over his curse.
The reminder of everything he was.
A murderer.
A cheater.
A hero.
She leaned down, taking all of him inside of her with a loud moan.
She kissed him again, and suddenly all the voices stopped.
His insecurities were down the drain.
His pain was healed.
His heart was back together.
And she was right here.
She was right here loving him in the dark.