ESME'S POV
SATURDAY 28th OCTOBER 2017
I woke up to the sound of an alarm ringing and a feeling of being absolutely freezing. I cuddled closer to Kyle who was basically on top of me to try and warm myself up but instead I just ended up shoving him off of the bed by shuffling too close. I covered my mouth to stop laughing as I heard his body hit the ground which was followed by a loud 'oomph', and then a "what the fuck Essie?"
"I'm sorry, I was cold," I laughed and he sat up on the floor and rolled his eyes.
"You were cold so you shoved me off the bed to have the covers for yourself?" He chuckled and climbed back into the bed, covering us both with the blanket and then wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him so I would feel warmer - which I did.
"My dad is going to freak out if he goes into my room and I'm not there," I sighed and Kyle nodded.
"Well my car is parked at Calvin's because I didn't really plan to get drunk so if we walk there I can give you a lift back," he suggested and stretched out his limbs to wake himself up.
"How far away is his house?" I asked and shivered because he had removed his arms from me which were giving me warmth. He noticed and happily cuddled me again.
"Around ten minutes of walking," he replied. "Should we start the journey?" He asked and I regretfully nodded before pushing myself off of the bed and picking up my leggings and hoodie off of the floor. I pulled them both back on and then redid the bun on the top of my head because it honestly looked awful.
When I turned back around Kyle had gotten back into his clothes and was folding up the blanket back under the bed. I picked up my bag from the floor and then headed for the treehouse door to climb down. It was rather cold which explained why I woke up feeling like an actual ice cube. "What time is it?" I asked Kyle as he climbed down the ladder after I had gotten to the bottom.
He looked at his phone when he got to the bottom. "It's seven fifteen," he told me and then walked ahead without looking at me. What was his problem? I huffed and followed after him as he marched through the forest and out of the small opening.
"Hey! Why are you walking off like that?" I yelled to him.
"We shouldn't have spent the night together," he suddenly said and I froze in my spot.
"What?" I asked him.
"Now you're gonna think we're together or some shit and I'm still not ready Esme," I hated when he used my name after using my nickname for such a long time.
I looked down at the floor. "So you want to still see other people?" I asked and he rubbed his eyes and groaned.
"I don't know, fucking hell!" He almost yelled at me.
"Well you're the one that got all pissed off when you thought I was with Wren again! You punched him for fucks sake and then slept with Penny because you were so mad," I didn't know why the curse words had come out but the way he played with my emotions made me infuriated and he knew it.
"I get jealous, yes. But I don't know what I want yet! I don't want you to be my fucking girlfriend, okay?" He yelled back at me.
"Why do you do this?" He tried to walk away again but I found myself shouting after him.
"Do what, Esme?" His voice was loud and booming and usually my anxiety would be taking over and causing my body to shut down, but the adrenaline was causing me to fight back.
"Why do you have an intimate moment or night with me and then push me away as soon as you realise what happened? Are you scared of getting too close to someone? Are you worried or something?" I asked and looked at him with hopeless eyes. "Because I can't keep dealing with these mood swings. One minute you're cuddling me and you're letting me do things to you that I've never done to anyone else and then the next minute you're telling me you might want to see other people, and then you get mad when you even think I've been with someone else! Which one is it Kyle?" I snapped.
"I don't know and it's driving me crazy!" He screamed. I was happy we were in a place where nobody lived because otherwise we would definitely get a noise complaint or have gotten an audience by then. "I have never liked someone like this and it's fucking scary, I don't want to be your boyfriend yet in case it all ends and I'm left hurt. I'm not a guy that gets hurt by girls, ever," he laughed.
"Well whilst you're stopping yourself from getting hurt, you're hurting me. Stop giving me all these mixed signals or I will give up before we've even started. I don't mind if you're not ready yet but stop being so intimate with me and then getting mad at me the next day, I've done nothing wrong and that's not fair on me!" I snapped.
"I told you I'm not good at this, so get over it," he turned around and continued walking, probably assuming I would just follow him but instead I walked across the road and started to head the way that the taxi took me so I didn't have to be left alone with him.
I walked for a good minute until I heard footsteps behind me. "What the hell are you doing? The walk home is like an hour long!" He yelled at me but I continued walking and crossed the road when I needed to. "Esme stop ignoring me," I finally turned around to face him.
"What? Are you here to upset me again?" I asked him and he sighed.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. I'm just shit at this," he sighed and held out his hand for me to take.
"We can talk about this some other time, I know you're not ready but don't keep pushing me away like that," I told him and took his hand gratefully.
We walked to Calvin's house and before grabbing the car we knocked on the door so that Kyle could apologise to his best friend. We waited a couple of minutes before the door opened and Jenna appeared. "Jen?" I laughed and she smiled brightly when she saw me.
"Essie!" She clapped her hands. "George and I stayed over here last night, and Kyle if you want to apologise to Calvin he is in the living room."
Kyle nodded at Jenna and then walked into the house so that he could find his friend, as soon as he was out of sight Jenna slapped my arm. "Why the hell are you with him?" She smirked as if she knew something.
"No reason," I cheekily grinned and then she squealed.
"Have you banged?" She asked with a massive smile on her face.
"No, but we have messed around a bit," I felt my face flushing red but she just kept getting more excited and clapping her hands.
"We need a girly night to talk about this shit, come over to mine tonight?" She pleaded and I sighed and nodded. "We haven't had a girl's night in so long, I'm so excited!"
"I can't wait," I smiled and accepted her hug which crushed every last bone in my body.
"Are you ready to go Angel?" I heard Kyle ask halfway through the hug, luckily Jenna let go of me and then looked over at Kyle with a knowing smirk on her face. "Nice to see you again, Jenna," he awkwardly said with her gaze on him and slowly moved past her.
"You two have fun," she winked at me and I flushed a brighter red before rushing out of the house. "See you tonight babe!" She called to me and I waved back to her in response before climbing into Kyle's car and clipping my seatbelt in.
"What did you say to her?" He sighed and I shrugged.
"She's my best mate, I just told her the truth," I replied honestly.
"Why?"
"Why can't I? She's not going to tell anyone," I rolled my eyes. "Are you that ashamed of hooking up with me?"
The argument had resumed from earlier and so I crossed my arms and looked out of the window silently as he drove us back to the houses. Neither of us said a thing on the way back and finally we got to his driveway and I started to get out when he stopped me by holding onto my arm. "Come on Esme," he sighed.
"No. We're not together so you don't need to worry about my feelings, now if you don't mind I might go and see Wren today," I knew I was being a child in trying to upset him but I was mad that he treated me like one of his play toys.
"Why would you say that to me?" He snapped at me and shoved his door open violently. I climbed out of my side and walked around the car, heading towards my house. "Are you actually going to see him?" He called after me.
"Of course I'm not, because I like you! I'm not you, Kyle, I've made up my mind but it seems you still need a bit of time," I shook my head and then walked towards the house so that I could try and explain to my dad where I had been all night.
However, when I got to the door instead of it being my father standing with his arms crossed with a look of disappointment, it was Spencer. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Esmeralda?" Spencer asked with disappointment laced through his voice.
"I'm allowed to do what I want," I sighed and pushed past him to get into the house.
"This isn't you, Esme. You don't sneak out to be with boys or come back in the early morning dressed in last nights clothes," he sighed at me.
"Maybe this is me now," I turned to face him. "I've always been a good girl because I was too scared to go against what mom and dad said but maybe I'm happier now going out and being a bit more free. So leave me the hell alone," I felt awful for talking back to Spencer but I was stressed and tired and just needed a nap.
I walked up to my bedroom and threw my bag on the floor before crawling into my bed so that I could have a nap. I glanced over at my open curtains and saw Kyle walking into his bedroom and peeling off his shirt, I couldn't help but watch as his muscles flexed when he chose a new shirt and replaced the old one.
I tore my gaze away after a few minutes and turned around to get some sleep. Stupid boys.