If you had told me that at a few years ago that at 25 I'd be bleedin' divorced from who I thought was my forever and shacked up with me best mate come fiancée in some grotty flat I'd have laughed and asked what the eff you were on. Turns out I am all of those things.
We'd stayed friends to start off with, me and Charles. We'd had our ups and downs, mostly downs by the end with his injuries and denial and PTSD but I didn't hate him, he didn't hate me. We'd been happy once upon a time. Really happy but then we weren't and we called it a day so what was the point of making it awkward?
I'll always regret choosing to go on tour instead of staying home to look after him but I was young and I honestly thought he'd be alright. He was far from it as it goes and that will always be my cross to bare. But what do you do when he says one thing and means another and you're too young and thick to read the signs? He told me to go and be brilliant and that's what I did, for him as well as myself. I wanted to make him proud but instead we grew apart. We were friends that shared a bed (sometimes) and then he left. He ignored my calls, deleted my emails. He'd well and truly checked out. I spent a good couple of months walking round like the walking wounded and my heart felt three sizes too big for my chest and I was absolutely and irrevocably heartbroken.
Our paths were bound to cross eventually in the small world that is the army. And stupidly in my head it went something along the lines of us running into each other's arms and kissing each other to death like in the film, but let's face it, he's shagging Georgie Lane so why would he want me? So I guess it will be bleedin' awkward instead but I'll be civil and treat him like any other officer of the British Army and not like the man who broke me into a million pieces and left me to put myself back together again.
So that's what we agreed when we was finally able to have a conversation about the legalities - to be friends, even if it was only for careers sake in the end.
I decided to visit him in the rehab centre once not long after his last disastrous tour. But then I saw her, Georgie. My so called mate, my replacement medic in 2 section but also in his heart. I'm not gonna lie I felt a bit miffed, actually more than a bit miffed I was absolutely shattered into a million pieces and slightly bitter even though it had been awhile since we'd split. But who wouldn't be? She was me mate and he was me husband and I was jealous but he was happy and I suppose that's all that mattered. I just hoped they treated each other better than they treated me. I later found out through Brains he'd shagged her on tour before we'd even signed the divorce papers. That was the worst bit, the knife in my gut. That was why he'd ignore my calls, calls that I made because I just needed to hear his voice. Wanted him to say "We've made a mistake, let's give it another go" instead he told me to take what I want from our home that I didn't want to leave. And all the while he was chasing her.
I can imagine he didn't feel too chuffed when he'd inevitably heard a year or so later about me and Smurf. He thought he was the biggest twat to ever walk this planet. Out of respect for the marriage I once had I waited. I gave him time to come to his senses and get help and come back to me. But he didn't.
I'd heard he was up for medical discharge, I'd even seen the paper work actually when I was brought in to help clear up the massive fucking mess that a certain Northern medical will remain nameless had left behind her when she decided to sod off back to Manchester with her tail between her legs (amongst other things). She got my husband and I got her mess.
One of the worst parts was going home with my tail between me legs. The 'I told you so's' from me Dad and Nan and the way me mum tried to wrap me in cotton wool. Like a kid who was being picked on in the play ground, not like a grown woman who was getting divorced.
That's sort of how me and Smurf happened. He was there for me, offered me a way out of my mess and I supposed at the time I thought I would learn to love him the way I did Charles. He was more in my league, or so I thought at the time. These days I've come to realise that it was Charles who didn't deserve me. Class means nothing when your on your deathbed. I heard from Brains and Fingers who are still great mates of mine that it was my name he called when he was on his. I've always held on to that thought, it comforts me to know that maybe he did really love me, we just fell out of line with each other. And that's okay with me now.
So that was the story of how me and Charles went to shit.
-OG-
Aldershot Barracks
Molly watched as Smurf unloaded the last of the boxes, moving was boring, Aldershot was boring, the army way of life way becoming boring.
"Any chance of a hand or you just doing to stand round looking pretty?" She snorted a laugh "No chance mate, I'm making the most of these nails before I have to chop 'em off ready to get back in there"
The thought of being back with 2 section, without Charles and without Smurf was a funny one for her, like going back to school only to find out all your mates had left. Of course she got on with the other lads, but without him it would be different. Without Charles that is. She was fed up of living in Smurfs pocket.
She'd been relieved when she was given permission to live off base. With Smurf's new rank with a new section she doubted she'd see much of him during the week. She was looking forward too her own space.
He'd found them a decent little apartment, posh by his usual standard anyway. In an apartment block not far from Barracks. She was happier than she had been in a long time, she was finally settled. She'd finally forgotten about the clusterfuck of her failed marriage.
-OG-
"Good luck honey" Amy kissed him deeply. She was proud of how far he'd come. It had taken everything he had to get him back to this point. He pulled her close to him "I couldn't have done this without you" Charles stroked a stray tendril of blonde hair from her pretty face "I'll do my best not to be late and we can go for dinner to celebrate" she nodded "Can not wait. And please remember your coping strategies if it all gets too much" he saluted her "Yes ma'am" she smiled as she watched him leave. He really did look good in that uniform.
PTSD has been an absolute bastard. A bastard that cost him everything. A wife, then a girlfriend and even his career for a while. He smiled back at the woman who waved him off for his first day back with two section. He was somewhat nervous, they knew a lot about him. They'd seen him at his worst when he'd finally lost it, when his abilities as a Captain as well as a husband were called into question. It was unfortunate for Charles that he had shit on his own door step not once but twice. First with Molly and then with Georgie. Both girls sharing great friendships with the lads and formerly each other. But he had ruined that, for him to end up with neither of them. They were bound to know the ins and outs of both relationships and subsequent break ups, or in Molly's case divorce.
That was still a bitter pill to swallow. He'd caused her so much pain that she hadn't deserved, broken so many promises. She only ever tried to do her best by him and it was only when it was too late he recognised that. She'd moved on to Smurf of all people. The guy she had once described as a 'top wanker'. She certainly deserved more than a top wanker that was for sure. All he could hope for was that she was genuinely happy now.
Georgie had been a mistake from the get go. Misplaced affection plus guilt and ailing mental health had lead to some seriously questionable decisions on his part during those times. Beck had chewed the bollocks off him for his obvious lack of decorum when it came to female medics and he honestly couldn't blame him for seeing it that way, it looked completely unprofessional and he could only imagine the whispers of cad and adulterer within the close knit environment that was the army. Fingers had once even called him a sex pest whilst on the defence of Molly. He didn't even put him up on a charge for that one because it was bloody true, he felt like just that when all was said and done.
Both women had been held in high esteem of their fellow comrades and although he and Georgie had split mutually after a none starter of a relationship and she'd gone back to Manchester on a transfer out of 2 section so they'd let him have it. Once again a vow to stay friends hadn't really worked out and they avoided each other. Embarrassed at the marriage that had broken down partly because of their actions and the whispers around the barracks. Both of their reputations in disrepute because between them they had clocked more than a handful of fellow soldiers as bed partners.
Both Molly and Elvis had been seen as the victims even though Elvis was dead and Molly seemed happy. People don't forget when you shit on your wife and dead fiancé and it just became a union of convenience by the end. It had started out as love. They quickly realised just how wrong they had been.
He felt he'd been given this opportunity to lead his former section again as desperation on Becks new replacements part. They had lost a lot of men lately in an unfortunate incident in Syria. He was their last option he guessed.
-OG-
Georgie
My stomach is full of anxiety as I board my train towards Aldershot. It's been a really long time since my life revolved around the army. I'd taken so much needed time to finally grieve and process everything. Elvis, Charlie... Molly. I'd lost a lot of people. And really I'd lost them all through my own stupidity. It's taken me a long time to accept and own that fact, Although I don't think there will ever be enough time to get my head around the fact that I broke up my friend's marriage. I never intended too mind, I'd fallen for Charlie but managed to keep it under wraps. Until he did what he did and we ended up together. I even moved into their martial home. Molly had left and after the fall out of them splitting, his parents took her side. He needed someone to look after him while he was injured and that had to be me. Because I wanted too and because I loved him. We thought we were battling our demons together but it turns out we were just feeding each other's problems and we knew it. We last about 2 years, most of that in a completely non romantic capacity until one day we both realised we were spiralling again. So I left, got a transfer back up North. We kept in contact for awhile, but it fizzled out when he realised he lost Molly because of me.
I'd seen the opening for a medic with 3 section and decided it was time to get back in the thick of it. I'm ready, healed if you will. I know there is every chance I'll see Molly again but I'll use it as my opportunity to make things right. Can I ever make things right?
I saw her from a far not too long ago, on a night out in London for my sisters Hen party. She was happy, the happy Molly I remembered as Charles' wife. Except she wasn't Charlie's wife anymore. She didn't see me and I was happy to leave it that way. My sister called me gutless, I guess she was right.
-OG-