One week later...
Lilly:
I woke up at 10 am.
Calum was still sleeping.
I started to get ready for the day and made some breakfast.
The screen of my phone lit up.
Bitches:
Upper bitch:
Omg Lilly I can't wait to see you...
Me:
Yeah me too, I missed you guys so much
Not...
Eldest bitch
So how is your love life...
Me
I have a boyfriend 😊
Upper bitch
Oh... uh nice... I'm happy for you
She is definitely lying
Me
Is everything alright your text makes me feel a little bit concerned
Eldest bitch
There is nothing to be concerned about.
Oh Lilly we can't text any more our batteries are low
Hope you will like your surprise
A deep sigh left my lips.
I heard someone walk in to the kitchen.
His arms went around my waist and he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Are you okay babe? Because that was a really deep sigh." Calum asked.
"Yeah... it's just that my "friends" are coming to la and I have this feeling that they are up to something..." I said making quotation marks with my fingers when I say friends .
"Why the quotation marks?" He asked.
"Because... I'm sorry boo I'm not ready to tell you jet... it's really hard and I don't want to think about it right now." I said putting one of my hands on his cheek.
"It will be okay, I promise." He said kissing my lips.
"Are going to hang out with them are you just going to drop them off at the hotel?"
"They wanted to go to Starbucks so I will take them there."
He nodded.
"The boys are coming over today to talk about the upcoming album, but I want you to know one thing. whenever you're feeling upset or when something goes wrong today or just on a daily basis..., you can come in and talk about it, doesn't matter what time it is, doesn't matter if I'm home or at the studio,
You will always be on the first place." He said giving me his spare-key and the address of the studio.
I nodded giving him a hug.
I looked at the clock on the wall.
12.30pm
"Cal I need to go now I'll be back around 5pm I think."
He nodded kissing me and giving me his car keys.
I started Calum's car and left the parking lot.
After driving for about 30 minutes, I started to sing quietly.
The first words that come out
And I can see this song will be about you
I can't believe that I can breathe without you
But all I need to do is carry on
The next line I write down
And there's a tear that falls between the pages
I know that pain's supposed to heal in stages
But it depends which one I'm standing on
I write lines down, then rip them up
Describing love can't be this tough
I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke
I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly
Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon
Play it for the world, but it won't mean much
Unless I sing this song to you
I'm dying to show you
This could end happily ever after
There doesn't ever have to be disaster
And all you have to do is sing along
I write lines down, then rip them up
Impossible describing love
I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke
I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly
Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon
Play it for the world, but it won't mean much
Unless I sing this song to you
I could set this song on fire
Sing this song to you
I could set this song on fire
Light this old guitar on fire, I'd still hear the notes
Drown the melody in water, I'd still hear its ghost
Sing it with somebody else, but we'd be out of tune
Play it for the world, but it won't mean much
I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke
I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly
Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon
Play it for the world, but it won't mean much
Unless I sing this song to you
I could set this song on fire
Unless I sing this song to you
I could set this, I could set this
I want to sing this song to you
I could set this song on fire
Sing this song to you
I could set this, I could set this
By the end of the song I arrived at the airport.
They were already waiting outside, with the surprise.
I locked the doors of the car.
I'm not letting them in.
Why did they do that, I told them that I had a boyfriend.
They tried to open the door.
Lexi started knocking on the window.
"Wtf Lilly open the door." She yelled.
I didn't, I just shook my head in response.
They kept trying and knocking.
I opened the window just far enough that they could hear me.
"Why did you bring him."
"Lilly, open the door, now."
"No."
I drove away.
Tears made their way down my cheeks.
•••
I parked Calum's car and ran up the stairs to the 7th floor.
I knew Calum invited the boys, so they are probably in my apartment right now.
I open the door and slam it shut.
I ran to my bedroom without saying a word.
"Babe..." Calum said, but I ignored it.
I close the door behind me.
I lean against the wall while the flashbacks play in front of me like a movie.
I took one of my razor blades and run it across my wrist.
My breath started to become forced and before I knew I was hyperventilating.
The door of my bedroom flew open and in a matter of seconds Calum was sitting in front of me.
"Babe listen to me..., focus on my voice."
My breathing didn't slow down.
"Lilly look up..."
I slowly looked him in the eye.
"Okay good... now your going to take a deep breath."
I did what he asked me.
"Just like that. In and back out."
I kept doing it until I calmed down.
He nodded and gave me a weak smile.
I looked back down at razor blade in my hand and the red bleeding lines on my wrists.
Calum looked down at where my eyes were focusing on.
He stood up and walked away.
Fine I screwed up. Again
He is not going to come back, I know it.
After 2 minutes he walked back in the room holding the first aide kit I always have in my kitchen cabinet.
He took care of my wounds.
He took a seat beside me and pulled me in a hug.
He slowly started singing one of the songs he wrote.
Every time you say to me it's over
You just wanna start again, it's just lies
The girl who cries wolf every day, ignored by gravity
But in the end, don't ask why
You say you wanna, but do you wanna run away
Your great escape oh yeah
Where're you going?
Always running back to me to call it quits again
So look at me in the eye
Is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all?
'Cause I'm not dreaming
So look at me in the eye
Is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all?
'Cause I'm not leaving
('Cause I'm not leaving)
Does it have to be this tragedy
This endless lost parade of castle
Other side of make-believe?
The truth is spelled out in your eyes
Why don't you just reach out and make it clear to me?
What are you telling me?
You say you wanna, but do you wanna run away
Your great escape, oh yeah
Where're you going?
Always running back to me to call it quits again
So look at me in the eye
Is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all
'Cause I'm not dreaming
So look at me in the eye
Is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all?
'Cause I'm not leaving
('Cause I'm not leaving)
('Cause I'm not leaving)
Is anyone there at all, is anyone there at all?
Is anyone, there, is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all, 'cause I'm not dreaming
Is anyone there at all is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there, is anyone there at all?
Look at me in the eye, is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all, I'm not dreaming
Look at me in the eye, is anyone there at all?
Is anyone there at all, 'cause I'm not leavin'
He looked at me with his dark chocolate eyes.
"Babe can you please, tell me what happened?"
I nodded.
Opening my mouth to say something, but nothing came out it was like I had no voice.