Red string AU, inspired by the song at top
Lmao I don't fully know how the whole red-string thing works so I basically made up my own idea
Ooh and haha I dID NOT EDIT THIS HA
--
She saw him in her dreams.
Almost every time she fell asleep, every goddamn night, he was there.
His thin artist's fingers gripping hers, that bright, carefree smile he wore, and those stupidly intoxicating blue eyes.
Just more reminders of what had happened to them.
Petra woke up slowly, the faint dawn light lifting her from sleep. She couldn't even recall what the dream had been about, just that he'd been in it. Again.
She'd been out on her own for three months now, roaming and exploring and getting into trouble. Trying to 'find herself', as she'd told Jesse.
That was a lie, or at least a partial one. Her, the old her, belonged back in Beacontown, with the blonde boy who now plagued her unconscious. Now, she was trying to find where she fit into the world without him.
So far? No luck.
Petra got up and quickly cleared up her camp, trying to drag her mind away from Lukas and her dark mess of emotions. Still, she couldn't help but glance down at the pointer finger on her right hand, the one that her mythical red string had been attached to.
It was still there, sure, but it didn't lead to anyone. Not as much of a mythical scarlet ribbon as a shredded piece of a broken heart.
Everyone had a string. Everyone. Every single person had a piece of crimson thread that looped around their pointer or middle or ring finger, connecting them to their soulmate. Supposedly, having the string on your little finger, like Jesse did, meant that your relationship with said soulmate would be platonic, and having it on your ring finger meant something corny like 'love at first sight'.
The rest of the strings weren't always visible. They weren't tangible either- you could feel the bit around your finger most of the time, but it was difficult to touch the rest of the string. If you put your mind to it, you could focus on your string and maybe even follow it to your soulmate, but most of the time the magic threads didn't come into everyday life.
And they weren't supposed to break.
It had been three months since she'd left Beacontown, and six since she and Lukas had broken up. Though, technically speaking, it hadn't been an official breakup. They'd gotten into a fight, a big, horrible, angry fight, and she'd up and left. He'd yelled at her as she stomped out the door.
"Fine, Petra! If you're gonna fucking act like that, just don't come back!"
She'd whirled around and shouted back, "I'm not planning on it!"
The day after that, when she'd cooled down a bit more, she'd wondered what to do next. She knew that the fight had been partially her fault, maybe even mostly her fault. She'd pushed him too far.
But she couldn't bring herself to go back and apologize. What if she just made things worse?
Then the guilt began to set in. The fight had been her fault, all of it. She'd been a horrible friend, not to mention a pretty awful girlfriend. This was exactly why she'd spent so much time alone, before the Witherstorm had attacked and she'd become part of the New Order. She was pushy, and she had a temper, and she should've never shoved that onto Lukas.
I can't go back to him, she'd realized. I can't risk hurting him even more. He deserves someone better, and I'm better off on my own. I can't go back.
With that decision had come an abrupt tightening around her pointer finger. She'd quickly looked down, just in time to see the red string fraying. With a barely-audible snap, the thread had broken, fading into nothingness and leaving her with a few inches of dull scarlet string.
The pain in her heart at that moment was so complete, so sharp, that she'd stopped breathing for a moment. She'd spent months wondering if Lukas was really her soulmate, and now that it was too late, she knew for sure.
After that, she'd done everything she could to distract herself, tried to shape a life on her own. Beacontown held too many memories, too many reminders of what she'd had and lost, so she'd found herself in Champion City. And, well, things hadn't much improved from there.
But it was over and done with now. Traveling and exploring the world was an enjoyable, albeit lonesome, experience. She still believed that time could heal all wounds- all she had to do was keep moving forward.
Opening up her map, she chose a spot that looked interesting, and began her trek towards it. Sometimes she sought out mineshafts or dungeons or deeply-buried crevices, but other times she simply searched for beautiful views to try and put her mind at peace. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Sometimes she was able to forget her troubles for a little while, sometimes her adventures just made her heart ache more.
And to think, that Lukas had almost joined her on her journey. Petra had almost fainted when Jesse asked Lukas if he wanted to go with her. She had already suspected her friend knew a bit about what had happened between her and Lukas, but had not expected him to try to do something about it.
But Lukas had refused. He'd played it off nonchalantly, saying something about his writing and enjoying life in Beacontown, but Petra had seen the shadow that crossed his face when he glanced at her and then the torn red string around his finger.
They'd both been lying through their teeth, through the whole adventure with the Admin. Throwing everything they had into pretending everything was okay. Fake smiles, tired eyes, refusing to look at their past soulmate standing only a foot away. It had been, to put it as simply as possible, pure agony.
Petra had finally opened up to Jesse, at least about her place in life and that awful, crushing feeling of loneliness, but she'd still been too upset and unsure to explain her falling-out with Lukas. And she never could've managed to describe the guilt, the iron bars constricting her heart that said it's you, it's your fault he won't even glance at you, how dare you hurt him like that, why did you ever try to pretend you were good enough for him, it's your own fault you're feeling like this, you don't deserve to have him back even if he did forgive you, it's your fault, your fault, your fault...
The more she tried to ignore the guilt and pain chasing themselves dizzy in her heart, the more she dwelled on it. After three months on her own, it had become pretty clear, even though she tried her hardest to deny it. Whether Lukas was her soulmate or not, her life wasn't the same without him.
Oh god, but did she ever miss him.
Don't think about him. Don't think about what you did.
She was better off alone. Out here, there was no one else to pick fights with, no one else to hurt. Just her and her lonely mind.
Glancing at her map again, Petra realized that she was only an hour or so away from Beacontown. Her adventures had taken her all over the world, but she hadn't even considered returning to the place she'd once called home. There wasn't anything left for her there, at least nothing she was ready to face. The only thing going back would bring her was more painful memories of her other half.
The shade from the tall birch trees kept her from overheating as she hiked. It was a nice day for traveling; warm but not too hot, thin clouds stretching across a brilliantly blue sky. The nice weather lifted her mood a bit, helping lead her mind away from past mistakes. She was hoping that if she kept running forward and didn't look at the past, she'd end up somewhere. It didn't matter where. Anywhere would do, so long as it wasn't somewhere that held memories.
Petra tried to recall what her life had been like before the Witherstorm, all those years ago. She'd been alone all the time, and had never felt this kind of loneliness. Being a 'lone wolf' had worked out for her, back then.
So why was this so different? Why did this solitude strike her so deeply? She'd chosen this, dammit. She shouldn't be feeling this way.
Her route began sloping upwards, leading her slowly to the top of a hill. There was something immensely peaceful about birch forests, the pale trees and dull grass and hints of sky peering through the leaves. As she travelled further up the slope, she gained a better view of the surrounding forest- a broad landscape of birch-covered hillocks, split occasionally by a winding river.
The very top of the hill had to be nearly a hundred blocks tall, the opposite side of where she'd come up cutting off into a sheer cliff. Sitting down near the edge and looking down, Petra saw that a wide, shallow crevice was carved into the ground below the hill, some of it reaching under the very ground she was perched on.
Squinting to the west, she could barely see the silhouette of a town just beyond the wooded hills. She already knew it barely qualified as a town, more like a settlement really, but she hoped someone there could steer her towards another interesting destination.
The forest was serenely quiet, but not silent. A gust of wind stirred up the branches of some of the lower trees, and she could faintly hear the rushing water of the river below. Quiet footsteps and soft huffing breaths announced animals nearby, all harmless white noise echoing through her ears without her ever really processing it.
Lukas would love this, she found herself thinking. Before their relationship had gone to hell, they'd done stuff like this all the time. Spent a day wandering, just talking and thinking and enjoying each other's company. Sometimes Lukas would get an idea and they'd have to stop somewhere for a little while so he could whip out one of his notebooks and scribble down setting or character or plot concepts. She'd helped him occasionally, tossing out possible character names or random plot twists.
She could picture his smile so perfectly. "You're like my muse." he'd told her one time, grinning up with his wild-sky eyes narrowed playfully.
Oh, god. I miss you so much.
Ordinarily, this was where she tried to derail her train of thought. All those memories, even the happy ones, stabbed her heart with a fresh blade of pain. But between the peaceful view coinciding with the memories, her recent dreams, and the constant, never-ending struggle to forget the past, Petra didn't have it in her to deny the truth.
The words flowed through her mind, all the things she hadn't had the courage to say aloud to him.
I miss you. I wish this had never happened. I'm so sorry for what I did, what I said. All I want is to have you back.
I still love you.
After all this time, after everything that's happened...I still love you.
Accepting it didn't hurt as much as she'd expected. She'd been denying it for weeks and months, pretending like she was moving on, fearing that should she think the words, let alone say them aloud, something in her would break.
Instead, the only thing she felt was a slight warmth around her pointer finger. No, more than just slight. She lifted her hand, unsure of what she would see.
Her string was back.
Not just the few inches of dull, frayed thread, but a bright, scarlet trail, looping away from her hand to who knows where.
No, not 'who knows where'. To Lukas. It's leading me back to Lukas, she corrected herself.
The realization hit her like a lightning bolt, and she scrambled to her feet. She stared off in the direction of Beacontown, feverishly glancing between her string and the horizon.
She'd never even considered this. Once a soulmate thread broke, everything was over. Right?
But what if it wasn't?
She turned and went darting down the hill, every so often looking down at the string again as though it could disappear at any moment. But if anything, it was getting more solid-looking.
Do I really get a second chance? Is this real? I thought it was all over...how is this possible?
Deep down, she already knew how. She'd never stopped caring about him, no matter how hard she tried to force herself to move on. And if the red string was to be believed, he hadn't given up on her either.
She didn't even stop to consider what she would say when she saw him again. She just needed to know if this was true.
---
The trek back to Beacontown didn't take her as long as she thought it would. Guided by the crimson string and her own instincts, the red gates were in sight just after noon.
And there was someone standing beside them.
Even from a distance, she could tell it was Lukas standing just inside the open gate. He seemed to be waiting for something, facing mostly away from the exit, arms loosely crossed over his chest. She hoped he'd turn around and see her as she drew nearer, but he didn't.
Her red string became brighter and more taut as she stood behind him and, after a moment's hesitation, laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Lukas."
He whirled around, neutral expression melding into one of shock and hope. "Petra...? Petra! You're back?!"
"Yeah. I..." She wasn't sure what she'd been about to say, because it fell apart as soon as she saw his face again. He looked exactly the same, and yet so different after months of only seeing him in dreams and memories. She'd forgotten the way his hair fell over his slightly-pointed ears, and how soft and simple the line of his mouth looked when he spoke. She remembered, all over again, all the tiny little things she missed about him.
She couldn't believe she'd ever hurt him the way she had.
Lukas's eyes darted from her face, to the string around her finger, to his own scarlet thread, back to hers. "Petra, I don't understand...th-the string, it wasn't...what happened?"
"I...I just...it never..." Petra shook her head, the guilty tears threatening to overflow. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.
He leaned forward, concern darkening his eyes. "What?"
She pressed her hands against her face, partially from shame, partially to hide her tears. "I'm sorry, Lukas! I'm so sorry. I never should've...this is all my fault. I'm so sorry."
Lukas touched her shoulder, looking confused. "You're sorry?! I'm the one who told you to leave!"
"You wouldn't've said that if I hadn't been being such a-" Petra wasn't even sure what she had been acting like at the time, but the word came out as a sob.
"Oh, Petra. Don't tell me you've been blaming yourself this whole time?"
She nodded tearfully. "I don't deserve to be forgiven. After all the shit I did-"
He pulled her into a tight hug. She immediately returned the embrace, pressing her shaking fingers into his back and hiding her face in his shoulder.
"I thought you hated me. I stayed away from you because I was so sure you'd never forgive me." Lukas murmured.
Petra fought through another sob as she said, "Me too. I was so convinced it was my fault, especially after the string broke."
He replied with a slightly tearful-sounding laugh. "We're such idiots."
She pulled away far enough to look at him again. "I missed you so much. Every single day, all could think about was how much I wanted to see you again."
"Then why did it take so long for the string to come back? I missed you too. Any night it was clear enough to see the stars, I would go out and just...wish for you to come back." He admitted. Petra smiled. That sounded exactly like the kind of hopefully whimsical thing Lukas would do.
"I was denying it." She said softly. "I kept trying to convince myself that I'd moved on, that I was okay without you."
"Lying to yourself."
"Yeah."
He gently touched her hand, fingers brushing the loop of red string. "I sort of...part of me thought I was never going to see you again. That everything we had was completely dead and gone, all of our jokes and dreams and plans and...everything. Soulmate strings aren't supposed to break, so when ours did, I was so sure it was over for good. But despite all that...Okay, this is going to sound cheesy and probably stupid, but...I never stopped loving you."
She caught his hand as he tried to move it away, intertwining her fingers with his. He looked up at her again, all pinked cheeks and uncertain eyes.
"I love you too."
---
ugh why am i so FREAKING cheesy
idk why i even try to write oneshots
i want death
goodbye