Even if it's never in the way that he wants for himself, Kihyun will love Hoseok in whatever way Hoseok needs.
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Ever since Hoseok had bought new fitness equipment to use at the dorm, and started using it diligently and without rest, Kihyun's life has been filled with almost constant torment, of the sexually-frustrating variety.
It's always been a well-guarded secret of his, his slow-burning but undeniable, undeniably intense crush on his bandmate and best friend, and it's usually easy enough to keep it all under wraps, under all of the walls and walls and walls of denial and justification and dismissal that Kihyun had always kept up around his highly sensitive heart, too fearful of destroying their deep friendship to do anything about it. But now, with Hoseok's masculine beauty paraded right in front of his face like this on a daily basis, it's becoming increasingly difficult to hide his true feelings.
And it's even worse when Hoseok has a bad day, and takes out all of his anger and upset onto the machines. Because while Hoseok may be the gentlest, sweetest, most kind and loving person that Kihyun has ever known, he's also got a surprisingly fierce temper, low and heated and powerful like an oncoming electrical storm. It's almost scary, when Hoseok gets angry. Almost scary and so, so very hot. And Kihyun feels guilty that angry Hoseok has such an effect on him, because Hoseok should never have to experience things like anger or sadness or hurt, or anything other than the boundless love and happiness that he so very much deserves.
But, of course, bad days do happen even to the most undeserving. And today is one of those days, one of Hoseok's bad days. A few too many malicious comments on his latest live broadcast, from trolls and haters and those who really shouldn't be calling themselves fans in the first place, and Hoseok is already going hard by the time Kihyun arrives back from the studio to check up on him.
When Hoseok has his bad days, there's a certain routine that he likes to go through. First, he works out until he's breathless and soaked in sweat, until all of the hurt and anger and frustration are physically expelled from his body in turn, and then, he'll take a long, hot shower, let everything wash away so that he can start fresh with all negativity unloaded and swirling down the drain and up into the steamy air. Next, he'll find Kihyun, and the two of them will hash it out together sitting on Hoseok's bed, Kihyun listening to Hoseok's thoughts and helping to guide him back down from a dark, dark place of insecurity and self-doubt to a place of confidence and strength. The night will usually end at that point in a few crushing albeit loving hugs that send Kihyun's heart soaring every time, and Hoseok will coo that fond nickname of his, that sweet hum of "Kihyunnie," right into Kihyun's ear before going off to bed good as new, while Kihyun goes off to bed with a racing heart and flushed cheeks and a million thoughts whirring around in his restless, befuddled mind.
Today, Hoseok isn't using any of the machines that they have in the dorm, but instead, is lifting weights in both hands. And Kihyun, he's frozen in place in the doorway, eyes wide and face hot and lips parted, watching as Hoseok continues, too engrossed in what he's doing to notice Kihyun's quiet presence.
Hoseok is working out shirtless (of course he is), his hands protected by thick, fingerless gloves, and he's wearing a tiny pair of shorts that leave little to the imagination, tight and stretched in all the right places. His muscles are already glistening with sweat, and Kihyun's eyes greedily travel the expanse of his naked chest, and shoulders, and arms, and stomach, all pale and chiseled, perfectly firm and sculpted from years of work into the most beautiful hard lines and smooth planes. Kihyun finds himself falling into a trance as he watches Hoseok go through the motions, his muscles shifting beneath his skin and flexing beautifully, calling out to Kihyun's basest instincts and spurring all sorts of naughty images to flash through his mind.
And the noises that Hoseok is making, deep, low growls and grunts of effort, short, tight breaths, low, throaty moans, his eyebrows furrowed angrily and his eyes uncharacteristically aggressive, barely-contained anger boiling beneath every move he makes, every repetition harsh and precise, Hoseok lost in a rhythm that only he can hear inside his own head. Kihyun bites down into his lower lip, bites down into it hard, his imagination going off on a marvelous fantasy staring angry Hoseok and all of the things he can do with that spectacular, spectacular body of his.
Kihyun imagines that it would go like this. Instead of giving Hoseok his space as he usually would, leaving him alone as he goes through the early stages of the bad day routine, Kihyun would saunter over just as Hoseok was finishing up his workout, eyes full of mischief as Hoseok toweled off the sweat from his face and body. Hoseok would acknowledge Kihyun with a nod or an empty smile, trying to be as kind as possible even in those circumstances, but his body language and expression would clearly warn that he wasn't ready for company yet, and he'd expect Kihyun to understand and to back off until he was ready to talk about it.
But Kihyun, he'd push. He'd push and push and push, hit all of Hoseok's buttons that he knows as well as he knows his own, until Hoseok would have finally had enough, and he'd back Kihyun up against the nearest wall, towering over him with fire in his eyes. And Kihyun, he'd be braver than usual, and he'd stand his ground, wouldn't falter under Hoseok's intensity. And he'd make that one last comment, or roll his eyes that one time too many, all on purpose of course, until finally, Hoseok would grab for Kihyun's wrists, pin them to the wall above his head, and swoop down for an angry, wet, heated kiss.
Because the truth is, Hoseok would never actually hurt Kihyun, and he'd never actually be that kind of angry with him. But he wouldn't shy away from showing Kihyun his place, as a dongsaeng, and Hoseok's own place as his hyung, Hoseok's hidden dominance always simmering beneath his sweet, loving character. And Kihyun wants so bad to feel that, to awaken it, because he's the only one who really knows that it's even there, just as his own hidden desires to be dominated lurk beneath so many layers of exaggerated pride and false confidence. Kihyun is tired of always having to be in control of everything around him, and he's ready to relinquish that control to a worthy someone who can sense and can feel that need inside of him. He wants to be the one taken care of for a change, sweetly, aggressively, in all possible ways, and Hoseok is the only one who can do it, the only worthy someone in Kihyun's eyes.
They'd break apart then, gently, and have a brief moment of tenderness, Hoseok's hands softening their grip on Kihyun's wrists, his thumbs finding Kihyun's pulse points, and the both of them staring into each other's eyes, frozen with the realization of what just happened, what they just did, the line they just crossed. They'd look at each other in mutual understanding, able to read each other clearly as always even in complete silence, complete stillness.
But the tender moment would pass quickly as their passion took over, and soon, Hoseok would release Kihyun's wrists only to reach down and wrap his strong arms around Kihyun's tiny waist, and Kihyun's hands would move to slide around Hoseok's shoulders, then up the back of his neck and into his hair as their lips met once again, coming together smooth and slick and perfect.
They'd make out like that, rough and wet and clinging to each other, for a long time, and Hoseok's hands would grip and squeeze and travel up and down Kihyun's body while Kihyun's hands would tug harshly at Hoseok's hair, and Hoseok would push his tongue inside Kihyun's mouth, leaving the both of them moaning, drunk and dizzy with heat.
Eventually, Hoseok would be the one to break the two of them apart. Rather, he'd step back forcefully and with his hands gripping onto Kihyun's hips, he'd spin Kihyun around to face the wall, push Kihyun up against it and grind forward and up into Kihyun's ass before Kihyun even had the chance to blink. And then, he'd keep going, dry-humping Kihyun into the wall all while the two of them were still fully clothed, the friction marvelous and desperate and just enough coverage to provide them with plausible deniability about what they were really doing. And Kihyun, he'd grip at the wall uselessly, crying out much too loudly as Hoseok would reach down to squeeze his ass and bite at the back of his neck sharply with each thrust.
But then, just when it would start to be too much, just when Kihyun would begin to feel that familiar heat building low in his body and threatening to spill out into his pants, Hoseok would suddenly stop and back away, only to grab for Kihyun's shoulders and spin him around to face him again. Hoseok would be smirking, but the confident façade would be betrayed by his flushed cheeks and messy hair, his glassy eyes and heavy breathing. Even so, Kihyun would be much further gone, unable to even see straight with his mouth hanging open, and Hoseok would lift him up by his waist and throw him over his shoulder, like a sack of flour, carrying Kihyun over to the living room and dropping him right on the couch, right where anyone could walk in at any time and catch them in the act. He'd quickly turn Kihyun over onto his stomach and press him down into the cushions, Kihyun bent over the edge and both flustered and incredibly turned-on at being so roughly and so effortlessly manhandled.
And then, Hoseok would pull down Kihyun's pants without restraint, and Hoseok would prep him roughly and then fuck him good and hard, painfully even, but only because he would know that Kihyun wanted it so bad, and exactly like that. He'd grip tightly onto Kihyun's hips while pounding into him in a steady rhythm and Kihyun's whole body would burn with pain and pleasure. Hoseok would take one large hand and slap Kihyun's ass cheek, one and then the other, over and over until they both burned bright red, and then he'd tangle his fingers in Kihyun's hair, yank Kihyun's head back just in time to hear Kihyun scream with hot tears in his eyes.
"Kihyunnie?"
At that moment, Kihyun is pulled right out of his filthy fantasy, and the real Hoseok is there toweling off, breathing heavily as he cools down from his intense workout. His eyes are sweet and kind, if a little tired, and he's looking at Kihyun with a slightly perplexed expression, curious about what had him staring off into space and just standing there. And at that moment, Kihyun realizes that he wants something else, too, from Hoseok.
He suddenly imagines a softer, sweeter turn of events.
He imagines a Hoseok completely relieved of all of that pent-up, aggressive, angry energy, a Hoseok that would seek out Kihyun for cuddles and gentle kisses, a Hoseok who would wrap his arms around Kihyun in a soft but firm embrace. And Kihyun would cup Hoseok's face and kiss him loving and slow, like they had all the time in the world, no rush, no worries, nothing but each other.
Then, without breaking apart, Hoseok's hands would slide down to the backs of Kihyun's thighs, and he'd lift him up easily, Kihyun light as a feather in Hoseok's strong arms. Hoseok would carry Kihyun to his bed, lay him down on the soft sheets and undress him slowly, taking the time to kiss all over Kihyun's face and body, his hands caressing every inch of skin he could get to, his fingertips like velvet.
Hoseok would be taking charge, controlling their movements in a completely different kind of way, and he'd prep Kihyun with great care. He'd hover over him and press his body downwards so they could be flush, and Kihyun would wrap his legs around Hoseok's waist, and they'd have sweet, missionary sex, completely wrapped around each other, a tangle of limbs and moans and hot skin, moving in tandem in a gentle, rolling rhythm. And yet, the intensity of it all, the building pleasure and glow of ecstasy would be the same, though more like a soft fire burning and growing instead of a sizzling, sparking combustion. And Kihyun would cry and scream again and Hoseok would kiss his tears away while cradling him soft and careful, Hoseok working through his own emotions by helping Kihyun work through his, his fears and insecurities and long-held trust issues; Hoseok would melt it all away with his plush lips and quiet words and perfect, gentle hands.
They'd curl around each other after, and they'd sleep together that night, comforted and relaxed and at peace, and they'd push away any lingering worry for the morning. Kihyun would finally have Hoseok the way that he's always wanted him, the way Kihyun has always suspected that Hoseok wants him, too, if only it were actually a viable option, if only their lives had gone a little differently, if only they had met each other under different circumstances.
"Kihyunnie?" Hoseok repeats, taking a step closer and breaking Kihyun out of his fantasies again. Suddenly Kihyun can feel that he's blushing, though surely he's been blushing this entire time.
After taking a few seconds to collect himself, to reign back his fantasies into the deepest recesses of his mind and heart, Kihyun finally smiles at his hyung and says, "Are you ready to talk? After your shower?"
Hoseok nods, and before Kihyun can do anything else, Hoseok strides over and envelops Kihyun in a big, loving hug, and Kihyun's heart nearly bursts from his chest, Hoseok's arms around him so good and so right and as he timidly wraps his arms around Hoseok's shoulders, Kihyun briefly closes his eyes, just for a moment. Hoseok's body is so strong and warm, and Kihyun feels like he could melt right into Hoseok's bare chest, and that he never wants to leave, never wants this particular moment to ever end.
"Thanks, Kihyunnie," Hoseok murmurs. He gives Kihyun one last, tight squeeze then releases him from his hold, giving Kihyun another gentle smile before moving past him to the bathroom. He closes the door behind him and a few seconds later, Kihyun hears the sound of water running, the living room that Hoseok left behind now feeling strangely empty and silent, though not for long.
When Hoseok returns, seeking Kihyun's help and comfort, he'll be caring for Kihyun too.