She is strong but she is a child
she is a child
she is a child
take the world
off her shoulders
children should not have to fight
to be young
m.h.w.//yuki. age thirteen.
***
You don't remember days. Days take ahold and make you remember them. They imprint upon your soul, violent in their need to be branded upon your mind. Days don't stick. They flow away. You don't choose to take that moment and make it something that will last.
That moment chooses you.
Because no matter how often you wish to forget- no matter how much you beg and plead for the memories to stop and for the knowledge of that day to never come- it still comes.
You don't remember days.
You relive them, and the horror, joy, and onslaught of emotions they bring.
"Don't."
The door to the office slams against the wall, the two males shoving their way through the entrance in the attempt of being first.
"I'm her beta I have to-,"
"I'm her mate, her Luna. Don't-,"
"She has to!"
"Stop!"
Both Henry and Orion still, anger clear within their stance as they both glare at one another. There is another emotion that holds within their gaze though. I don't have to see to know.
I can taste it coming off of waves from Orion.
Fear.
"Soraya there-,"
"Don't. Tell. Her."
Henry and I both turn to stare in mute shock at the tone that has laced Orion's voice. It sends my flesh to rise as I take it in. There was an edge of steel not only in his eyes, but words. It had been a while since the wild leaked from Orion- the proof that he was something born of chaos and instinct. His life in the pack had made him domestic.
But now it all came back to me that Orion was a creature who did not chain himself down. He was dangerous in his own way, and when threatened- he would bite.
Henry's face falls.
"I have to," he says weakly, a deep sorrow penetrating each word.
"Orion. You should know better than to hold anything back from my position."
A burning look enters his face, one that shakes me to the core. I can't look at it.
Instead I turn to Henry, curious now as to what has caused this scene to unfold.
He hesitates. His chance now to speak is open but the reluctance is clear to see as the words uncertainly swirl within his mind.
"There's...There's a challenger."
A vacuum sucks the air out of the room as I rise from the chair.
A challenge.
"The position?"
Henry confirms.
I nod. "Okay."
Orion steps in front of me, a desperate look on his face.
"Soraya...Soraya the story- the..." he can't say his words. I know what he is trying to say though. I know he is trying to tell me. The story he was told. The story we both were told, one that had been repeated to me ever since I could remember.
The story of Aunt Jewels.
I swallow, my throat dry and grating from the sensation.
I don't answer him. I have no answer to give. He stops me again, that burning look back on his face. He needs no words to tell me what he is thinking.
I need no words to tell him my response.
I step past him, closing my eyes to the soft moan of pain that leaves between his lips.
I want to comfort him. I want to tell him that it will alright. Everything will be fine.
But I can't make a foolish promise like that.
Henry follows me out, his stance changing to hide the worry and anxiety. Slowly we put our masks on, letting nothing of our true nature be seen.
A crowd has already begun to form.
I see the pack there, whispers heard through them as they take in the challenger. I don't recognize him. But my heart falls even further when I take in the scent he carries.
Alpha born.
"Alpha Soraya!"
His voice booms against the whispered silence. Some cringe at the power that laces it. I step down from the steps, calling out my acknowledgment, "they did not tell me a pup came?"
A low growl is heard from him as he crosses his arms, biceps flexing with the movement.
His hair shines brightly against the sun- the blond nothing like Orion's own color. This was a clean mixture, not diluted with brown. Blue eyes that are eerily similar to my own stare back as he grins down.
"I, Mattock of the Secare Pack, challenge you Soraya for Alpha leadership."
I can't breathe. I should have closed the doors in the office and taken a moment to let this sink. To say something more to Orion. Something he could remember or hold onto. Something that would last. I should have written something down.
I want to touch my stomach- to feel the rise that is just starting to become noticeable.
A gasp comes from the crowd. We both turn to find Henry stepping forward.
"I accept your challenge."
Just as he says this though, three other voices ring within the air.
The pack stills, eyes falling on dad, Grandjay, and Orion as all three step forward to stand in front of Henry.
My breathing is taking on an edge of panic, something that is hard to hide, as I stare at Orion.
Mattock only laughs.
"I asked for the Alpha. Not the Beta, Luna or...former Alphas...you are not what I want."
Grandjay growls, a sound that should have sent the pup running. But his grin only widens.
"Alpha Jay...my grandfather spoke very highly of you...but," he shrugs, not concerned with the past as he looked to the present.
"Pup. You should know better than to come here."
The male sighs, "calling me a pup when I'm older than her," he jerks his head towards me, "isn't that rude?"
There is no response. Grandjay only glares at him before shifting his gaze to me. Dad steps forward then, "Leave now. I'm giving you a chance to live and grow a little older than you claim."
Mattock only laughs, "and have my tail between my legs? So the rumors are true then?" He turns to me, an eager look in his eyes as they swoop up and down my frame.
"They said the Alpha of Alba Rosa was sick...falling apart and easy to take but I didn't expect it to be this good..."
Red comes into my vision that such rumors were being spread. They had believed my lie and fallen to hard in accepting it as the truth. I was paying for the consequences of it now.
"You reject my challenge?"
I'm about to speak. Opening my mouth to respond when another voice- a different one- cuts in.
"Actually, since you ask- I accept it."
Lilah steps away from the crowd.
There is a blur of movement after that.
Quinn screams to her sister before Uncle Mark catches her. Dad, Grandjay, and Orion stare stunned at the female as she steps closer to our circle.
The pack's whispers increase.
And mom's presence becomes known as she calls out Lilah's name.
Mattock looks amused as he turns to Lilah.
"I've heard of the famous Beta that served Alpha Atlas...the one who never lost a fight...well except once," his gaze turns to Henry.
Lilah continues to step forward until she is in Mattock's face.
"After this fight it will still be only once."
Mattocks' eyes flash gold in anger- the color a startling contrast against the blue.
"Bitch. Fine. This just makes it easier to gain the title."
Lilah smiles and steps back. They both step back.
My mind is in a haze. I can't keep up with the quick turn of events. I feel nauseous. Tired. Sick to my head and stomach. I want to lay down. I want to sleep.
Lilah approaches mom.
"No..." tears fall from mom's eyes as she shakes her head.
Lilah only smiles down at her.
"Lexie...I no longer have my position. I don't have a mate or children of my own. No one will miss me when I'm gone."
Mom opens her mouth to argue but is cut off by Lilah as she leans down to kiss her forehead.
"It has been my highest honor to protect you and your children."
Dad is holding mom's arm. A hard look of understanding is on his face. But from where I stand, it almost seems like he is holding himself back. Restraining himself from acting or saying anything in this moment.
The two make eye contact, something unknown passing between them.
"You know it's in my nature Atlas."
Dad opens his mouth, a reply on the edge of his tongue. He closes it though and only nods.
And then my mind snaps to awareness.
I turn to Orion.
He looks conflicted. As if he cannot tell if this is a good or bad thing that is happening. Henry looks relieved.
But Aunt Quinn is still crying. Still begging Lilah to stop.
Stop because we all know she cannot win against an Alpha. Only slow him.
I turn to look around at the pack. Tears are in their eyes as they take in Lilah.
Dying a hero, they say.
They glare at me, no understating in their words as to why I am letting her lay down her life. Why I cannot fight.
She really is weak.
Spineless.
Did not even fight her father fairly.
And then I know.
I know what I have to do.
"Stop."
Lilah turns to me, glaring at with that age-old look I had always received from her.
"Don't do this wolfers."
I shake my head, turning to Mattock. From the corner of my eyes though I can see him. Orion. I can see his face as it breaks apart and shatters from the words I say.
"I accept your challenge."