Song for the chapter:
Sam Smith // Nirvana (acoustic)
{OHMYGOD IF YOUVE NEVER HEARD THAT SONG, OR HIM YOU NEED TO GO LISTEN NOW! HIS VOICE IS HEAVENLY AND IM SO MADLY IN LOVE}
Melody's P.O.V
I lay on the floor, completely helpless. I've emptied out my insides into the toilet. I can't pretend I'm okay anymore, I don't want to pretend anymore.
I see no light. Panic surrounds me, and strangles me. I feel like I'm screaming for help, but no sounds come out. Im mute by misery, incapacitated by tragedies. Helpless rage is gnawing at my bones.
I'm imprisoned by this never ending cycle of sadness. I'm suffocating silently and quietly. Cold dread has torn me limb from limb leaving me in too many broken pieces to just "pick my self up" from. Icy remnants, silent screams echo silently through broken dreams.
I got a taste of the tiny bit of light that made it's way into the deepest, furthest, lonesome corners of my cracked soul only to be shielded shut by this overwhelming darkness that seems to loom over me; never leaving my side. It's always there sealing any broken parts that may have leaked any glimpse of light.
I lie on the cold, tile floor trying to catch my breath, and trying too control my violent sobs, I wonder where it all went wrong. I don't remember the last time I was ever okay. I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore.
Harry's P.O.V
Harry, Harry," someone scream-whispers shaking me out of my sleep. "Harry get the fuck up!" I now recognize the voice as Liams.
"Shut the hell up! You're going to wake Melody!"
"That's the problem! She's in the bathroom throwing up her fucking guts!" As soon as the words leaves his mouth I'm in front of the bathroom door. I knock three times, no answer. The only sound coming from her soft whimpers barely audible.
"Mel, are you okay?" Before She could respond I swung the door open. Melody is lazily leaning over the toilet bowl while she silently cries. My heart immediately aches and I feel like I'm about to do my share of vomiting seeing her in this condition makes me sick.
"Mel! Are you ok!?" I ask rushing to her side lifting her head out of the toilet bowl. She let her face to the side not helping at all holding it up.
"Mel," I repeat quietly this time I hold her face in place so she's eye level with. "are you sick? Are you okay?" Her eyes are so puffy, red, lifeless and dull. Her face has paled, tinted with tears. My stomach turns in and out, making me queasy taking in her lifeless features.
"I can't," was the last words she cried into my chest throughout the night. After finally getting Melody up from the floor and back into bed she didn't actually fall asleep until two hours later. By 4:00 a.m she was out. It is now 8:00 a.m and I was up.
An hour later after I showered, and sent Liam home. After, I came back to check on her. She was now awake staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Hey," I greet cautiously. She doesn't reply. Last night I came to the conclusion that she had another breakdown. With this one she has completely shut. I don't want to push her Into talking but I just hate that I see her struggling and can't to any thing about it.
I sigh and sit on the edge of the side of the bed where Melody is.
"You don't have to talk, just listen okay?" I ask. Her eyes flicker to mine for a second before returning to the ceiling.
"Last night, you said you can't? I'm assuming the can't as in you can't be happy? Or you can't get better? Well, sometimes, I think a lot of us really bet against ourselves, and that puts up blockades to getting better. You say you can't do it, or It's too hard. Right away, you are putting up a wall. It is really difficult to accomplish something even when you think you can't do it. Try rooting for yourself sometimes, babe. Even if you don't necessarily believe it, it's important to tell yourself that you are capable. I The first step in all of this is getting rid of that blockade and start believing you can do it. I believe in you, now you just need to believe in yourself too. None of this is going to be easy, but I'm here for you, with you through all of it. So just let me be therefor you, please."
***
{{READ}}
BROKEN
"Lost in the depths of my own mind for far too long I grew accustomed to the dark voices in my head. They slowly started to take all of me, and I fought a t first but I grew tired of fighting and just gave in. That moment I gave into the darkness, I felt disappointed but relieved. Disappointed cause I thought I was stronger, but the lost battle only proving me wrong. Relieved, because I no longer had to fight a battle that was destined to won since the beginning"
-J.L
AMAING/ BEAUTIFUL POEM WRITTEN BY @jocelyne_lerin!!! Thank you!!
CLARIFICATION- I chaged who I saw Melody as! I the beginning she did Have blue eyes, that's when I saw her as Ryan Newman! But now I see her as the lovely Crystal Reed!
Guys! Message/DM me questions! I'll answer the top 5 in the next update! I want you guys to get to know me better and the other way around!
Goodnight my fighters, don't do illegal things. I Love you!!
Melody's diary Twitter - Melodyreedx
Personal- Mxkhala
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