What's Funny?

By Miss_Green_Day

3.3K 44 36

Before Bo Burnham became the sarcastic and whimsical comedian he is today, he struggled with overwhelming anx... More

Author's Note
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14

Chapter 2

252 3 1
By Miss_Green_Day

I was sitting on the couch very comfortably when I heard “Sup fucker!” coming from the kitchen.

“So much for knocking!” I called out, chuckling. Eli walked into the living room and hopped over the back of the couch, taking a seat next to me.

“Hey, Mr. Burnham,” she waved to my dad, who was sitting in the chair next to the couch.

“Ah, hello Eli. It’s such a pleasure to see you,” he rolled his eyes and let out a soft laugh.

“Let’s go up to my room,” I suggested, standing up and walking over to the base of the stairs, where I waited patiently for Eli to follow.

“But your couch is so comfy,” she protested.

“Please?”

“Fine,” she huffed, standing up and following me back to my room.

“I’m actually glad you came over,” I started, walking up the stairs, “I got you a present.”

“Oooh, really?” she asked,  her face beaming with excitement.

“No, why would I get you a present?” I shook my head and laughed, holding my bedroom door open for Eli.

“Run hell, asshole,” she muttered under her breath as she walked in and took a seat at my desk. I laughed silently and shut the door behind me, throwing myself on the bed.

“Anyway,” Eli started, kicking her feet up on my desk. “I’m here because my mom and I got into a fight because of her stupid boyfriend, so she kicked me out,” Eli leaned back, looking over at me with a slight frown.

“Wait, wait, what?” I stuttered in disbelief, scooting over to the edge of the bed. Eli softly nodded in response, chewing at her nails as she stood up and took a seat next to me.

“Wow, that’s terrible,” I sighed heavily, shaking my head and putting my arm around her waist, pulling her in. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was planning on moving out in a few months, but this wasn’t the way I wanted everything to go down,” she forced a laugh, “I’ll be fine,” she assured me, locking eyes with me. 

“Still, that fucking sucks. I’m sure you could stay here,” I suggested, releasing Eli and resting my hand on her back in attempt to comfort her.

“You really think your dad would let me stay?” she asked.

“Oh, no,” I chuckled. “Not my dad, my mom. Like I said, she loves you like her own,”

Eli looked down at her feet, softly sighing.

“So, what happened?” I asked, scooting closer to her and rubbing the small of her back gently.

“Well, the step dad was being a cunt, making up all these bullshit lies about how I took his pot and shit. Mom decided to side with him, I guess, and she woke me up this morning by storming into my room and screaming and yelling at me. We spent the next few hours fighting and arguing at each other until she finally told me to just go,” Eli shrugged and leaned back, resting her weight on her elbows. “So, I left,” she finished, staring up at the ceiling as she fell back onto the bed and rested her hands on her chest, 

“Well, at least you have somewhere to go,” I shrugged softly, turning my body to the side so I could see Eli.

I began to observe her again, watching her sigh deeply. For some reason, I was infatuated with everything she did. The way she breathed, the way she stared up at the ceiling, the way she absentmindedly played around with her fingers. I soon began to wonder why I was thinking like this, why the feelings from the other night were coming back. 

“Stop staring at me, you creep,” Eli laughed lightly as she sat up, leaned her back against the headboard, and looked in my direction.

“Can’t help it, you just look so weird when you’re thinking,” I chuckled, gently moving Eli’s legs to the side and scooting up closer to her. Eli shook her head and let out a silent laugh before leaning over the side of the bed and picking up my laptop, bringing it up and resting it on her lap.

“What’re you doing?” I asked as she opened the lid and held down the power button.

“Buying tickets for Warped,” she smiled softly, her eyes focused on the screen.

“Tell me the bands,” I sighed, leaning back and resting my weight on my elbows as I watched Eli bring her legs up at an angle.

“God, your internet is slow as fuck. No wonder you always play The Sims,” she rolled her eyes as she waited impatiently for the page to load.

“Shut up, you’re just jealous,” I retorted.

“Of what? Your lack of friends?” she chuckled, raising her hand to her mouth and scanning her eyes across the screen.

“Bands?” I asked, growing restless.

“Be patient,” she mumbled into the palm of her hand. “Wow, there’s a lot. You’ve got NOFX—”

I cut her off. “We’re going,” I said quickly.

“Hold on, hold on. There’s also Paramore, Rise Against, Billy Talent, Bullet For My Valentine, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, AFI….  Uhm, you like All The Rage, right?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“There’s All The Rage, and then a bunch of other bands that I don’t care about,”

“Yeah, we’re going,” I smirked.

“You act like you’re the one paying. Maybe I don’t want to go!” she sneered, sticking her tongue out at me as she reached into her back pocket, pulling out her wallet. I fell backwards, resting my hands on my chest and staring up at the ceiling, listening to Eli’s rapid typing. I sighed deeply, waiting patiently for Eli to finish. Once she was done, she closed the lid of my laptop and sat up, scooting closer to me. She smiled down at me, taking my wrist and laying it out over her palm. Without speaking, she began to lightly trace over my veins with her index finger, softly humming.

“What on Earth are you doing?” I asked, letting out a nervous chuckle and looking up at her with a concerned look upon my face.

“Fuck if I know,” she replied softly, still running her finger along my veins.

“You’re so weird,” I whispered in response, propping my head up with my free hand.

“Let’s smoke,” she finally spoke, placing my arm on my chest and sliding off the bed. Sighing heavily, she opened the window and sat down on the floor.

“You alright?” I asked again, walking over to my bookshelf to get the hollowed book.

“Yeah,” she breathed, “I’m alright.”

“You don’t sound alright,” I mumbled, pulling the book from the shelf and sliding it over to her.

“I don’t know, man. The whole thing is starting to bother me. You know what it’s like when I’m alone with my thoughts. I just get all depressed,” she sighed once again, nonchalantly opening the book and unraveling the plastic bag.

“Well, want me to distract you?” I smiled, standing up and making my way over to the CD rack. 

“Please, don’t sing to me,” she chuckled softly as I pulled out a Weezer album and placed the CD into my stereo. 

“Oh, I’m gonna sing to you. I’m going to sing to you so hard you wouldn’t believe it,” I smirked as ‘El Scorcho’ played through my speakers. I stood in the middle of the room and started dancing. Eli looked over her shoulder and laughed as I locked eyes with her, singing along loudly.

“You’re so interesting,” she smiled up at me, softly shaking her head.

“Get used to it,” I grinned, flailing my arms around and making goofy faces at her.

After an entire album and many laughs later, Eli and I had moved up to the bed, lying next to each other, completely stoned. I sat up and leaned over the edge of the bed, connecting the charger to my laptop and bringing it up as Eli scooted closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

“You sad sack of shit,” she sighed as I opened up The Sims.

“You know what, I was going to make you, but you can just forget about it,” I huffed as I entered Create-a-Sim.

“Good. There’s no way that you could recreate this work of art,” she scoffed, crossing her arms as she rolled her eyes.

“Whoops, your ego is showing.” I turned my head and winked at her.

“Watch it, Burnham,” she warned as she playfully pushed me to the side. I chuckled softly and returned my attention to creating my Sim. When I was almost finished, Eli huffed and closed the lid to my laptop forcefully.

“Hey, hey, what was that for?” I asked, slightly annoyed.

“I’m bored,” she looked up at me, flashing me a smug grin.

“Oh, I’m so sorry that the world doesn’t revolve around you. All hail Queen Eli,” I joked, unable to control my laughter as I looked to the side and rolled my eyes.

“You’re acting like you just told the most hilarious joke in the world. It’s not that funny,” Eli stated blandly, slumping down into her seat.

“No, it really is, I’m a genius!” I continued laughing, holding my sides.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

JOKER By .-.

Fanfiction

9.3K 592 114
"I'll be the best sin you've ever experienced". "you In general is enough euphoria for me to handle".
SMARTS By rabbitso

Teen Fiction

15.2K 580 23
Follow Sheldon White on his journey to popularity, where along the way he learns to make friends, let loose, and even question whether or not his jou...
266K 3.9K 23
- You can't be fixed by the same person who broke you - or maybe you can......
12.1K 576 14
"If you don't come out alive, I-I will like other people, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, it's not you. Are you very angry? If you are angr...