"Have I ever told you how sexy your boyfriend is?"
"Obviously, since you're dating him too." I say with a mock eye roll. All three of us laugh before Jake leans over to kiss Mike on the cheek. The action makes me sigh, seeing how perfect the two were together only lowers my spirits more, so I sink further into the couch cushons.
Truthfully, I can't blame either boy. Our boyfriend is seriously attractive, which is depressing considering so is Jake. It's as if the two most attractive male specimens on the face of the earth decided to get together and bang. And then there's me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no ugly duckling, but hanging around two hot gay guys who only have the hots for each other is kind of depressing. I'm perpetually third wheeling it and have been for quite some time.
When I was twelve I had the biggest crush on Mike. He's my best friend, had been since the day our moms realized we were neighbors and decided to plan our wedding while we were still in diapers. Never too early to send wedding invites than infancy, amiright? What were the odds of having two kids the same age of the opposite sex, living next door to each other? Not to mention how great our trust fund figures would look accumulated. It was only inevitable that we would date, fall in love, get married, and eventually make more lovely heirs to our respective family millions.
Except no one counted on Mike liking it up the ass.
The night he told me this interesting fact was forever ingrained in my mind as 'The First Kiss Catastrophe'. The boys continue smooching while I take a walk down memory lane. Trust my best friend to be totally into PDA, well only in front of me, which I think is kind of fair since he isn't allowed to even acknowledge Jake in real life. I stare intently at the flat screen in front of me while I surf back through my memories.
Anyway, I was fifteen and suddenly hanging out with Mike wasn't like it used to be. It was as if my hormone switch had suddenly been turned on with the reality of high school and the fact that my used-to-be scrawny best friend was suddenly growing a six pack. Not to mention his lack of braces. He was growing into himself, and as a result, growing on me.
I started to see my best friend as more than a friend, but it wasn't until the middle of sophomore year that I decided I was ready to put it all on the table. I'd like to blame my overconfidence on the fact that his mother already regarded me as "the daughter she never had", seeing as he's an only child.
Luke Garley, one of the douchier guys in our grade had been having a huge party, kind of like the official high school initiation ritual. I wore my shortest dress and even did my make-up during a time when doing my face up was rare, and I vowed that I would kiss Mike that night. That's the thing about me, I get some sort of idea in my head and then I just can't shake it. It usually takes a slap in the face, or in the case being mentioned, an emotional slap on the heart, to bring me back to reality.
I kept popping Listerine strips into my mouth the entire night before I even got the nerve to ask where he was. The mansion had been crowded (kind of an impressive feat seeing as it was a mansion we're talking about, with an indoor pool and three stories high), and the music had been incredibly loud. A few people told me that they had seen him hanging out upstairs, so my overexcited self had shimmied her way towards what she thought was true love.
It took me three bedrooms, lots of pubescent groping, and I even walking in on a guy taking a crap in some random bathroom, before I found the right room. Nothing was holding me back. I was getting my first kiss. That was it, the moment that felt like our entire lives had been leading to.
I finally found him sitting at the edge of a bed in one of the rooms. The only light available was glowing from behind an adjacent bathroom door. The light spilled over his light brown hair with perfectly done light blonde highlights. The highlights should have been my first clue really, but I couldn't get past the fact of how good they made him look. Later he'd introduce me to his stylist, but that's another story.
"Hey, Jacey." Mike greeted me when I walked in. There was something off in his tone through and I remember thinking it was weird. He never spoke to me with anything but warmth, yet he seemed on edge. A cheesy part of me wondered if it was because he somehow knew what I was planning to do and felt the same nerves I did.
"I have something to tell you," I said, straight to the point.
"Can this wait for another time?" At the point he really seemed anxious, his eyes glancing over to the bathroom door.
"No, it can't." I don't know why I didn't just drop it then, it would have saved me the unending embarrassment later.
"Okay, what is it?" At least his tone leaned more towards normal. I hesitated before walking right up to him and straddling him right there. Except I did it like a cowgirl with anger issues, crushing his junk in the process. Then I went for it. I ignored his slightly uncomfortable look and went all in.
I would like to blame the fact that I didn't realize he wasn't kissing me back on never having kissed anyone before. The voice that broke through the moment was deep.
"Well, this is awkward." The voice said. When I looked up the room had been brightly illuminated now that the bathroom door had been opened. A super buff guy our age with wavy black hair stood watching us a few feet from the bathroom doorway. He looked like a freaking super model.
"Who's that?" I asked, my voice a slight dumbfounded whisper. I had taken one look at him and known he wasn't just some guy who caught us kissing.
I felt Mike shift under me before looking down at his crystal blue eyes.
"That's my boyfriend." He finally said, cringing at my impending reaction. The words didn't register for a few seconds, but when they did I wanted to die. I was mortified. Not because Mike was gay, but because I had just thrown myself at him and he had someone, someone I could never amount to.
And so the cat was out of the bag, or more like out of the closet. That was the first night I got pissed drunk, ever. The following morning, when I woke up next to Mike with the worst hangover of my life to date, everything came out. By everything I would also like to talk about the twenty-dollar bills that spilled out of my bra with no memory of how they got there. Mike told me everything from the story of how he met Jake , coffee shop, totally cute, and how he realized he was gay. He didn't ask me to fake being his girlfriend right away. No, that came later.
It came when I finally realized that my best friend was never going to be more than that and that my push up bra was pretty much going to be my greatest weapon in high school. It wasn't until my parents started acting concerned about my 'new lifestyle', and that Mike's parents started questioning about his love life that we came up with the plan. Appearances were everything for our parents and people we knew, so it only made sense. Plus, our parents had been planning our relationship for what felt like forever.
It had worked out well so far. We both got away with things short of murder as long as we were together, and the arrangement had been a happy one for a while. Well, except when I got lonely and Mike was too busy fawning over Jake. But that wasn't very often and a few shots of Vodka later all was good in Jacey Town. Not only did I lose a potential boyfriend, I lost a piece of my best friend that night, but I managed to push it aside and make it work. We'd had our one year anniversary a few weeks ago and that meant that our parents gave us even more freedom to be together, if by together meant sneaking out to Jake's house so that Mike could swap spit with him all afternoon, among other things that I didn't want to acknowledge. until we had to leave.
It would have made more sense if I had somewhere to be during their make-out sessions, but the sad fact was that Mike was my only best friend. Sure I hung out with a lot of people, especially when I partied, but never outside of a social setting or without some alcohol in my system.
And that leaves me back in the present, with my best friend and his boyfriend getting heated on the opposite side of the couch while I sulk about my life.
"Hey, Fugly." An annoying voice breaks completely through my thoughts as the couch dips even more. Chace seems oblivious to his younger brother's tongue dance and focuses his attention on me.
"How's it going in Moronville?" I reply, still staring at the TV screen in front of me, no longer stuck in my memories.
"Pretty good, elections are coming up soon and I know you're running for president."
"I thought that position was already occupied by you." I retort back with a satisfied smile.
"Nope, but I could take it up if you'd rather be the first lady." I resist the urge to gag at his own satisfied expression. Never in a million years.
I'm about to give him another response, before noticing the other guys stand.
"We'll be back in a bit. Don't kill each other." Jake says, before tugging Mike towards his bedroom. Mike gives me a last look, silently asking me if I'm cool with him ditching me with the Chace the Asshole for a few hours. Just like every other night, I nod, before getting more comfortable on the couch.
"Are you gonna put off me kicking your ass or are you gonna set it up?" I ask in a no nonsense voice.
"Impatient." Chace smirks at me before getting up and heading for the controllers.
Here's the thing about Chace: he's a total dork. I mean the guy is always home when I come over, despite being a year older and a college guy for kicks with tons of parties available. I know I could be doing the same thing, but I'm still not as lame as he is. I don't wear geeky videogame t-shirts and build things in my spare time. Yeah that's right, I said build things. Chace likes to build stuff like birdhouses and bookcases, usually for his mom. I don't know any guy who likes to put things together like him, most of them are too busy chasing ass.
I watch him pop in Fifa before heading back to the couch. I try not to think about how Chace is the only reason I'm not completely pathetic during our visits and actually hang out with someone. The only time we ever semi get along is when we play video games, which is fine by me since we spend hours doing it.
I say semi get along because both of us like to talk trash while we play and it can get pretty heated sometimes. Kind of like tonight.
"Jesus, Chace, it helps if you actually try. I might as well be playing by myself." I say, right before leaning forward towards the screen.
"Says the girl who's too busy checking out all the virtual ass on the screen." Chace retorts when the image hovers to the right as his player steals the ball from mine.
I snort because the players are way too tiny for me to actually do that, but I don't argue because if this had been live soccer you better believe I would have been ogling. We play like that for a few hours, in the middle switching to Call of Duty, before I hear someone cough behind me.
Chace hits pause before turning like me to the guys behind us. Seems like it's time to leave. I hand Chace the controller before our fingers do a really weird brush motion that I instantly recoil from. Chace shows no expression before leaning over to put the game away.
Jake and Mike spend another ten minutes saying goodbye which is kind of cute/annoying because how many times can you guys lock lips before the world ends? Chace stands beside me half watching the romance. Both of us cringe when the two love birds start calling each other baby names before locking eyes. It's like this every night, so you would figure we would be used to it by now.
"Well, see you later, Fugly." Chace says before running a hand through his hair and walking deeper into the house, leaving me as the official third wheel. Finally Mike manages to untangle himself from Jake and lead us out. Jake gives me a parting hug before closing the door.
The two of us walk to Mike's Mercedes, and I crawl into the passenger seat.
"So, we went to a movie tonight?" Mike asks, bringing the car out of it's parking space and hitting the freeway not much later.
"Yup, romantic comedy and you kissed me goodnight, but only on the cheek because we don't need people thinking I'm loose or something." The both of us laugh at my joke because we both know that I'm taking it a little too far seeing my reputation and all, plus technically we've been together for a year now.
We eventually reach our gated community before the security guy buzzes us in. My house is right next to Mike's but there's about a thousand feet between them because god forbid our houses are in a hundred foot radius of our property lines.
I'm about to get out of the car when Mike's hand snakes out towards me and grabs my wrist. I turn to him with an expectant expression on my face.
"Thanks, Jacey." He says sincerely like he does every night and I smile and nod like always.
"Dinner with the parent's tomorrow?" Mike confirms. I roll my eyes before nodding back and blowing him a mock Jake kiss.
Magdalene, our head maid, opens the door with a stern expression until she realizes I'm completely sober and smiles. My parent's have never seen me drunk, thanks to Magdalene, but the old girl sure loves to scold every time she covers for me.
I head up to my room before setting my bag down on my dresser and stripping off my jeans and top. I realize that it's just another night, like it has been for the past year, and promise to go out this weekend to stop the gnawing going on in my chest. I know the first signs of feeling lonely, and there's no way I'm letting them get me down completely.
With that last thought, I drift off to sleep.