Just Fake It

CH1 : Fugly For President

"Have I ever told you how sexy your boyfriend is?"

"Obviously, since you're dating him too." I say with a mock eye roll. All three of us laugh before Jake leans over to kiss Mike on the cheek. The action makes me sigh, seeing how perfect the two were together only lowers my spirits more, so I sink further into the couch cushons.

Truthfully, I can't blame either boy. Our boyfriend is seriously attractive, which is depressing considering so is Jake. It's as if the two most attractive male specimens on the face of the earth decided to get together and bang. And then there's me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no ugly duckling, but hanging around two hot gay guys who only have the hots for each other is kind of depressing. I'm perpetually third wheeling it and have been for quite some time.

When I was twelve I had the biggest crush on Mike. He's my best friend, had been since the day our moms realized we were neighbors and decided to plan our wedding while we were still in diapers. Never too early to send wedding invites than infancy, amiright? What were the odds of having two kids the same age of the opposite sex, living next door to each other? Not to mention how great our trust fund figures would look accumulated.  It was only inevitable that we would date, fall in love, get married, and eventually make more lovely heirs to our respective family millions.

Except no one counted on Mike liking it up the ass.

The night he told me this interesting fact was forever ingrained in my mind as 'The First Kiss Catastrophe'. The boys continue smooching while I take a walk down memory lane. Trust my best friend to be totally into PDA, well only in front of me, which I think is kind of fair since he isn't allowed to even acknowledge Jake in real life. I stare intently at the flat screen in front of me while I surf back through my memories.

Anyway, I was fifteen and suddenly hanging out with Mike wasn't like it used to be. It was as if my hormone switch had suddenly been turned on with the reality of high school and the fact that my used-to-be scrawny best friend was suddenly growing a six pack. Not to mention his lack of braces. He was growing into himself, and as a result, growing on me.

I started to see my best friend as more than a friend, but it wasn't until the middle of sophomore year that I decided I was ready to put it all on the table. I'd like to blame my overconfidence on the fact that his mother already regarded me as "the daughter she never had", seeing as he's an only child.

Luke Garley, one of the douchier guys in our grade had been having a huge party, kind of like the official high school initiation ritual. I wore my shortest dress and even did my make-up during a time when doing my face up was rare, and I vowed that I would kiss Mike that night. That's the thing about me, I get some sort of idea in my head and then I just can't shake it. It usually takes a slap in the face, or in the case being mentioned, an emotional slap on the heart, to bring me back to reality. 

I kept popping Listerine strips into my mouth the entire night before I even got the nerve to ask where he was. The mansion had been crowded (kind of an impressive feat seeing as it was a mansion we're talking about, with an indoor pool and three stories high), and the music had been incredibly loud. A few people told me that they had seen him hanging out upstairs, so my overexcited self had shimmied her way towards what she thought was true love.

It took me three bedrooms, lots of pubescent groping, and I even walking in on a guy taking a crap in some random bathroom, before I found the right room. Nothing was holding me back. I was getting my first kiss. That was it, the moment that felt like our entire lives had been leading to. 

I finally found him sitting at the edge of a bed in one of the rooms. The only light available was glowing from behind an adjacent bathroom door. The light spilled over his light brown hair with perfectly done light blonde highlights. The highlights should have been my first clue really, but I couldn't get past the fact of how good they made him look. Later he'd introduce me to his stylist, but that's another story.