Day 19
"So, tell me... what's Toby like in bed?" Hanna raises a suggestive eyebrow at her friend, her voice balancing on the chords of curiosity and excitement. "Is he... you know..." she bounces up her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
Spencer frowns. "Can we not discuss this?" she requests, irritated. "And no, I don't know," she deadpans, a tiny wrinkle of aggravation forming at her brow. She finishes smearing the peanut butter on her sandwich before delivering it in a zip lock baggie. With more force than necessary, she throws the sandwich in a brown paper bag, along with a snack pack of pretzels.
"Wow. You're uptight," her blonde friend blurts, watching the whole thing in front of her. "Maybe I should call Toby over here. He can help de-stress you," she snickers. "You have time for a quickie, right?"
Spencer aggressively huffs out a ball of agitated air before meeting her friend's amused, sapphire eyes. "No. I don't. I have to go to work." Spencer adds in an apple to her brown lunch bag. "Are you doing anything today? Or just staying here?" she changes the subject.
"Well...I'm supposed to have some designs for Portia by Wednesday, but... I think doing a little shopping may inspire me."
Spencer amusedly grins at her friend. She works at some fashion industry. She's pretty low on the list of important people, but Hanna plans to rise to the top. "It's a five year plan," Hanna had once told her.
"Just don't throw some gigantic party or anything. I don't want to come home to a mess." She's only half joking.
"Spencer, trust me, I'm not planning on throwing any parties," she vows. "I'm not Noel Khan."
Spencer smirks, "Caleb is truly an idiot for trusting him."
"Yeah," she rolls her eyes. "I can't believe I married that idiot."
Spencer smiles at her friend, both of them on the verge of laughing. She puts a friendly hand on Hanna's shoulder before departing from her apartment.
...
She's putting books away when she sees him. At first she thinks she is going crazy. It can't be him. It literally can't. He wouldn't be able to get into the campus' library without some clarification that he went to the school—which he doesn't have, considering he doesn't go here, or anywhere else for that matter. She does three takes before she decides to walk up to him. He's just casually sitting at one of the tables, reading Catcher in the Rye.
"Um," she clears her throat, standing above him. He flicks his eyes up at her, amusement immediately flashing across his face.
"What are you doing here?" she demands.
He doesn't bother to save his page. He just throws the book to the side, stands up and smirks at her. "Good to see you too," he greets, going in for a kiss, which she ultimately dodges. He frowns at her.
"Toby...I swear to God if you get me in trouble..." she hisses out in a fit of anxiety. Her fidgety eyes skip around the library before meeting his gaze. "How did you get in here?!" she demands.
"I have my ways," he replies, easily. A sly smirk resides on his face.
She cocks her head, not accepting the answer.
"Fine. I asked to tag along with this one kid," he shrugged. "All I had to give him was a granola bar."
A tiny smile arises on the brunette's face, her eyes rolling teasingly. "What a bad boy," she murmurs.
He laughs. "When is your lunch break? I thought we could go have lunch by the fountain. I have to tell you about last night."
"Anytime, actually..." she responds. "I get to decide."
"That's nice," he comments. She nods in agreement. "Mind taking it now?" his request is accompanied by a pair of begging blue eyes that she honestly couldn't say no to even if she tried.
"I guess," she jokes, grinning at him afterwards. He smiles too. "Just let me get my lunch, and time out..." she tells him.
She turns to go, but is stopped not even a second later. Toby has her by the wrist. She curiously looks towards him.
"How about a kiss?"
She rolls her eyes before pecking him on the lips. "Happy now?" she raises an eyebrow at him, still close to his face.
"Definitely getting there."
...
They sit on a bench by the fountain. A couple of pigeons squawk by them, eating the crumbs they purposely drop for them. A couple of students linger by the fountain, laughing at something or another. The sounds of the moving, rushing water pretty much filter out the rest of the world, for the most part.
"This is our first official date," she notes, throwing a piece of bread towards the pigeons.
He offers her a grape and she takes it. "Yeah, I honestly feel like we went on more dates when we weren't dating."
Spencer bellows out a laugh at the truth of the statement. When they weren't together, they went to a concert, a museum, and out to dinner. Now they are a couple, and have somewhat become homebodies. "Mmm, yeah. Whoops."
He smiles lazily at her before taking a sip of his water. "I don't really mind," he admits, turning his body towards her, rather than the fountain. "It's nice, actually. In a way. When you go on dates, there's so much distraction. How do you really know if you like the person or just the places you go with them?"
She smiles a little at this before leaning in, and planting a chaste kiss on his lips.
He gives her a flustered look afterwards. "What was that for?" he looks amused.
She gives the question some thought for a second. If she were to be honest, she would tell him it was better kissing him, than leaking out those three dangerous words that sit in the back of her mind, but that would completely compromise the reason she did it in the first place. "I owe you a kiss remember? The bet," she raises an eyebrow.
He chuckles. "I honestly forgot all about that."
"Did you want to kiss me? Be honest."
He sighs, looking away for a minute, as if he was pondering upon the question. When his eyes return to hers, he has an answer, "yes and no."
"What does that even mean?" she asks, acutely amused.
He shrugs. "I wanted to kiss you because it would piss you off, and that was really fun."
She rolls her eyes again, but smirks in spite of it.
"But also...kind of... yeah. I think part of me wouldn't mind kissing you."
"Mmm, such a charmer you are," she replies, moving her face towards the fountain.
Toby scoots over to her, using a finger to direct her chin towards him. She looks at him with steady eyes, a hitch in her breath and an intrigued smile beneath her nose. Her caramel eyes look at him expectantly.
"But that was then. And now...I really enjoy kissing you," he murmurs before connecting their lips. His hand that had guided her attention back to him goes to the back of her head, clinging against her curls. She kisses back with equal force, her hand moving on top of his thigh.
"Do you?" she murmurs between a kiss. He nods against her, and she leans into him more, not even caring that they are in the middle of campus. She suddenly understands why Caleb and Hanna can never keep their hands to themselves in public.
She moves away from him a little, tenderly smiling. His eyes flicker from her lips to the doe orbs that beam at him with affection, "I guess I don't mind kissing you, either," her small smile arises to a bigger one.
He grins, shaking his head before murmuring a "shut up." His lips instantly connect with hers after, pushing harder than they were before. Then he pulls away.
"I need to tell you about last night!" he laughs a little. "Stop distracting me."
"I'm not distracting you," she argues. "That wasn't my fault."
"You're the one who brought up kissing."
She just gives him a pointed look with furrowed eyebrows.
In response he says, "fine. Some of it was my fault."
"Some..." Spencer laughs.
He gives her a look.
"Fine," she smiles, taking his hand in her own. "Tell me."
So, he does. He tells her all about last night, and how when he played some of his records to the band, they had on the spot asked him to come on tour with them. They loved him. They loved everything about him, and frankly felt that he would make a better opening act than their previous one ever would. He tells her about the paper work and how there's still more left, and how his manager is completely going nuts over the thing, along with himself. She listens as he recalls how they ended up celebrating together over the news with beer and cupcakes from a small bakery down town (his manager had bought them.) Lastly, he tells her how excited and ecstatic he is. She is equally happy for him, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace.
She really is happy for him. He honestly deserves it. He almost inspires her, to be honest. He followed his dreams and stayed persistent, and now he's going to be able to live the life he always wanted. But a small, tiny selfish part of her wonders what this will mean for their relationship.
He is still unsure of when the tour takes off, but he gives her an estimate—"a month, maybe a month and a half." Spencer knows that all of this is last minute, but still, she was hoping for more time. Although she should have known better... hope breeds eternal misery.
She eventually has to return back to work, and cut their conversation short even though there is obviously more to talk about. She is honestly somewhat relieved with the shortage of time. She needs time to process this. She needs time to sulk on the possibility of this relationship already crumbling to pieces. She doesn't want to be selfish around him. She doesn't want him to feel bad. Because he really shouldn't. Especially after what happened last time he got the chance to expand his music career. She refuses to show any kind of melancholy around him in regards to the situation. She'll put on a smile for him. She has to.
...
"Caleb I don't think spraying fabreez everywhere is going to solve anything. I think it's just going to make it smell like marijuana and..." he picks up the fabreez container on the table Caleb had set it down on, "pumpkin spice."
"Dude, no. It's totally helping!" he argues. "Seriously. Now help me light these candles."
Toby shakes his head, but listens to his friend's demands. He picks up the lighter and lights the rows of candles on the coffee table, then the ones on the mantle. He follows Caleb around the corridors of the home, helping him light the dozens of candles that wait to illuminate Hanna and Caleb's house. When they get to the room that Spencer and he had first... connected in, he feels an undying need to make an exit. But of course, this was room that Noel had stayed in, resulting in it being the worst smelling of them all.
"God damn it, Noel. I swear to God, he has no respect," Caleb growls, lighting candles from the other side of the room.
Normally Toby would agree. He'd only take a second to make a complaint in regards to the man, but it would sort of feel hypocritical right now. Considering where they are. Sure, he didn't' chase Hanna out of her own home, but still.
So instead of adding on to the negativity towards Noel Kahn, he prompts a question, "how do you guys have this many candles?" Truly he has been wondering it. They have lit at least fifty. Toby prays that none of them will tilt over. He's almost sure Hanna would not be pleased with that.
"I don't know. Hanna got them from her bridal shower. And she borrowed some from Emily. She dropped them off at my office earlier," he explains simply, not quite catching on to the change in subject. "She's coming tomorrow though—to see if it's suitable enough for her to breathe in," he says, not irritably, but almost hopefully. "I think that these candles will help."
"You miss her, don't you?" Toby turns to his friend, his voice slightly mocking. The grin on his face laughing at him.
"She's my wife, Toby," Caleb glares at his friend, a flat line across his lips. "I was expecting to be able to come back from our honeymoon, and I don't know... live as a married couple together?" he rolls his eyes, turning to the last candle in his room. He turns the lighter on, "but I guess life doesn't always work out that way. Instead she's with Spencer."
Toby laughs, but still feels uncomfortable with their setting. He just feels sort of guilty, is all. Then again, he is almost sure Caleb and Hanna have gotten together in his loft. One time he had gone out of town for a gig. He was gone for about a week, and was in need of someone to water his plants. Of course he asked Caleb. When he came back, he had found a condom wrapper that surely wasn't his.
But still.
"Besides, don't you want Hanna to leave? Then you and Spencer can do whatever you do together in her apartment?" he slides the lighter in his pocket, turning to his friend, a look of discomfort washing across his features.
"I thought you got over it," he deadpans.
"I did. But it's still weird," Caleb shrugs. His words uncommitted. "Wanna order a pizza?" he requests before walking towards the exit of the room. (Thank God.)
Toby gives him positive feedback, which prompts him to make an order for pizza.
Toby is almost sure that Caleb only invited him over to try and fill the absence of Hanna, but he is sort of glad. He has to tell him the good news. He has a feeling Caleb will be mad if he waited any longer. Caleb can get like that. He's sort of ridiculous sometimes. But Toby's mostly accepted it.
They sit in the basement, watching some NASA documentary that he is almost positive Spencer would enjoy. When the documentary is over and some other show comes on that neither of them follows, Toby decides to break the news to him.
"So, I have some news," Toby starts.
Caleb shifts his curious stare over to him, pizza still in his hand. "Shoot," he says, food in his mouth.
"Kenzie, you know my manager—,"
"And you are dating? Finally. I've been waiting for this day."
Toby cocks his head at him, furrowing his eyebrows. "What are you even talking about—no? Besides, I'm dating Spencer...remember?"
"I'm still not convinced, to tell you the truth," he shrugs. "Thought I'd give it a shot."
Toby squares his jaw, aggravated. "Anyways," he begins, a sharpness in his tone. "She met up with this band—Underground Utopia—last night, and found their opening act had bailed on them at last minute. She started chatting them up about me, and I went down there to introduce myself, and to show them the recordings and records, and everything. And they invited me to go on tour with them!"
"Wow, that's awesome," Caleb grins at his friend. "You said yes, right? Oh god, Toby. Don't tell me you passed on an opportunity like this once again. I will actually have to kick you out of my house if you said no."
"No, I said yes. Of course I said yes. I'm not making any more stupid mistakes like that anymore," he beams at his friend, his eagerness for the tour showing vibrantly on his features. "I'm honestly surprised I'm getting a second chance."
"Don't be so humble," he beckons, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knew that you'd get a second chance," he gives his friend a pointed glare.
Toby just grins. "Everybody but me apparently..."
Caleb laughs, "well, that's really awesome. I'll try to make it to one of the shows," he grins. He goes for the pizza box and see's there is only one left. He quickly grabs it. "Since you're getting this whole tour thing, I get the last pizza slice," he explains. "It's only fair."
Toby just rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Whatever. I don't really care."
Caleb shoves the pizza slice in his mouth, taking a gigantic bite. While he's chewing, he goes on in congratulations, "that's really cool though. Good for you."
He swallows before speaking, "not trying to bring you down or anything, but what about Spencer? Now that you two are dating and all..." he gets out, a slight harshness in his words. "What are you guys going to do now?" he pops the question casually, shoving the rest of the pizza in his mouth, hurriedly.
"She didn't really say anything about it when I talked to her," he shrugs easily. "She was just happy for me."
"Wait—you told Spencer before you told me?!" he exclaims, his words muffled and slanted due to the food in his mouth. He swallows hardly, "I can't believe this!"
"I—um," he awkwardly looks away, "I don't know. It's not a big deal," he tries.
"Are you kidding me? It totally is. Next thing you know, I'm going to be finding out things through Hanna. You'll tell Spencer, and she'll go tell Hanna, and Hanna will tell me," he complains.
"I think you're thinking too much of it," Toby squints his eyes at his friend. "But don't worry. You won't be the last to know," Toby promises.
Caleb groans, muttering something under his breath that Toby doesn't quite catch. He doesn't really care though. He has more important things on his mind. And ironically those thoughts devote to Spencer. Sure, he thought about their relationship. Their timing really isn't the best. At all. He doesn't really know where their relationship will register with the new unfolding events. He doesn't want things to end. But long distance hasn't exactly been kind to him. Everyone warns you about it—tells you it will miserably fail you, but did Toby listen to that? No. He thought things could work out, was convinced everything would be okay. But instead he was left heartbroken.
It's not Spencer's fault, really. She's just caught in the cross fire of his baggage and career. He feels bad. He really does. But he can't once again reject a chance like this. He would never be able to forgive himself.
And it's not that he doesn't trust Spencer. He does. But he trusted his ex-girlfriend too. Then, somewhere in the span of two months away from him, she had enlisted herself into the arms of another man. It makes Toby want to throw something.
Then he thinks of Spencer. She doesn't seem like someone who would indulge in a long distance relationship. She had hardly wanted to enter a relationship to start with, let alone one that involves being hundreds of miles away from each other for extended periods of times. She truly doesn't deserve this. It is unfair for him to put her in this position, and if he had known this would happen, he wouldn't have pushed her into this relationship. But he hadn't known back then. He couldn't have known.
They've only been dating for a little less than three weeks, but he feels like it has been longer. Maybe it's because of the amount of time they spent pretending—pretending they were nothing more than sex to each other, when it was obviously much bigger than that.
He doesn't want things to end with her. He really doesn't. But he isn't sure what the best option is anymore, and he's afraid that ending things may be the only one.