Day One
When she opens her eyes, she is not sure what she feels—or what she should feel. Honestly, the situation is already strange as it is—dating (sounds extremely bizarre) Toby Cavanaugh, her once known rivalry. But most of the men she's dated didn't stay the night. Sometimes it was on her terms, sometimes on theirs; but the point being, Toby stayed the night.
And it isn't like this is the first time that this has ever happened—it's not. There's been a handful of times where she had to reeve him back from sleep, and ask him to make his way out of her apartment, but this time he laid beside her on purpose. All the other times were accidental—all mishaps, all mistakes, but this was a consciously decided.
And she hates to admit, but she was the one who had made the call. He was about to leave, but she had told him to stay instead. It wasn't some desperate needy moment or anything; she just wanted him to stay. She's only had two other boyfriends whom she actually wanted to stay, and the first was Andrew Campbell. She was a seventeen year old, and she lost her virginity to him, and it was more about attachment than anything. It wasn't like...this. The second guy, Jasper Sty, was once again just needed out of some form of insecurity. Aria was living with her at the time, and dating Ezra. He always slept over, and always made her coffee and breakfast and all these other lovey-dovey type things. Ezra had made a comment about how Jasper never stays over, and how he never even hears him leave; and all this about Jasper and his lack of staying over. It pissed her off, and she wanted to shut Ezra up, but there was something inside her that wondered if Jasper would stay over if she asked. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. There was nothing special about Jasper, in all honesty. It was just the timing of things. Ezra could have said that about any guy, and her feelings would all be the same. Except if that guy was Toby.
The reason she asked Toby to stay was because she simply wanted him to stay. It wasn't a question of if he would, or wouldn't. It was just that she simply wanted him to stay with her. She sleeps better when he is around, as cliché as it sounds.
He stirs awake after a few minutes, and she wonders for a second if she should just pretend to sleep. The thought passes when his eyes flutter open, and he smiles.
"So much for taking it slow," he grins.
She laughs a little, "do you really want to?" she inquires, her eyes squinting with skepticism.
"Not really," he admits, "but...I don't know. This is all very...strange," he decides, his voice laced with affection.
"It is," she agrees.
Her phone chirps at her bedside table, and she goes to check it, only to ignore it afterwards. She smiles at Toby, "So, I have some ground rules."
He pokes up a curios, incredulous, eyebrow.
"No stupid pet names," she begins in a firm voice. "If you ever call me sugarplum, or buttercup, or the most recent of one's—bae, I will break up with you on the spot," she states. He looks as if he is about to say something, but she stops him, "not done," she states, a half smile coming to surface. "If we ever do end up going on a date, then I'm paying for half. Yes, a man may get paid more for doing the same job as a woman, but that only further gives me reason to pay for my own meal. I don't need some stupid male provider, I'm fine all on my own."
Her phone chirps again. She looks over. It's Hanna...again.
She ignores it.
She clears her throat before continuing, "third, if we are going out to dinner, I am going to have some say. I don't like surprises—,"
"You can pick up your phone, Spencer," he interrupts her.
"Nor do I like when people interrupt me..." she narrows her eyes on him.
"Or are you just ignoring them?" he questions.
She sighs. "It's Hanna," her eyes travel to the stubble on his chin. "I'm still pissed at her for yesterday," she explains.
"Yeah, that was pretty selfish of them both."
She rolls her eyes, "yeah, at least you didn't have to drive back from another state."
"True," he murmurs thoughtfully.
Her phone goes off again, which escorts her to an eye roll. She doesn't bother looking at the text; she just turns off her phone. Hanna has a tendency to blow up people's phones when they are ignoring her.
He laughs, "You're going to have to talk to her eventually. You're her maid of honor."
"Yeah, well, Iwill eventually."
He laughs.
"Aren't you mad at Caleb?" she inquires.
"I don't know. I kind of felt bad. He wasn't enjoying himself at all. It was actually sort of depressing..." his voice travels into a realm of angst.
"Hanna, too. But still. They ditched all their friends to be with each other. I just—hate that. I hate when relationships turn you into some relationship obsessed nut job," she sighs. "Ground rule number four: don't think that I'm going to cancel plans to be with you. It's controlling, and frankly, clingy."
"How about you just write me a guidebook? How to Date Spencer Hastings: The Do's and Don'ts."
She cocks her head, pursing her lips, "very funny."
He smiles, cocking his head to the side, "do you really need to tell me all of this stuff?"
"We're already at each other's throats seventy percent of the time, I figure, this will help keep us...stable," she supplies, innocently.
"Do you ever not over think things?" he teases. "Maybe we should just...see what happens."
"Fine. But feel free to follow the suggestions I have listed."
"I sure will," he responds, leaning towards her and giving her an Eskimo kiss. Before leaning back he murmurs, "puddin' pop."
A mocking look of anger covers her face as he pulls away, but it eventually bursts into a grin. She shakes her head as he chuckles.
"You suck."
He snickers, "I couldn't resist."
"Mhmmmmm," she hums. "You don't get any food now," she declares in a pondering tone.
"Come on? For that? It's a little harsh...don't you think?"
"If you want to convince me otherwise, be my guest," she challenges, her eyes full of lust. She falls onto her back, giving him a teasing look.
He smirks, hovering over her. Just before their lips touch, she lets out a shrieking fit of laughter. His smirk widens as he performs the horrendous act of tickling on her. She struggles beneath him, trying to break free. She shakes with laughter, "stop!" she exclaims.
"Not unless you give me food," he states.
"This is a form of burglary!" she rasps through her hysterical laughing.
"Maybe," he laughs. "Admitting defeat, yet?"he grins.
"No," she gets out, trying to push him away.
His hands move to the fabric beneath her shirt, and onto her stomach, but she stops him before anything else can happen. "OKAY!" she exclaims, almost shouting.
"Okay, what?"
"I'm not going to say it."
"Okay... then, I guess...," his fingers reach the skin on her stomach.
"Okay! I admit defeat!" she exclaims. "You can have some goddamn food."
He grins, moving away from her. She exhales deeply when he is once again beside her. "I really hate you, you know," she tells him.
He smiles at this.
...
After having breakfast at Spencer's, Toby goes home. It feels strange, but incredible, to think of Spencer as his girlfriend. It just is so insane how in one year everything changed between them. When he had asked for a truce, he was just doing it for the sake of Caleb, he never really intended to befriend her, let alone date her. It still feels surreal, but it also feels right.
While he was at Spencer's he got a call from Caleb. He had let it go to voicemail because, well, he was with Spencer.
Caleb picks up on the fourth ring, and says his hellos, and whatnot before going on about how he thought he was angry at him for the night before.
"I'm pretty sure Spencer's pissed, but I mean, she's always pissed, right?" Caleb says.
"I mean. She kind of has a reason to be."
"I guess. But why is she mad at me? I didn't do anything. It was Hanna. Not that I want to push her under a bus, or anything, but it was."
Toby chuckles, leaning against the wall, "wasn't it your idea?"
"Well, yeah, but it's not like I forced her to go along with it."
"Just don't go off and tell Hanna what you're telling me right now. You don't need to overcome any more fights, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. It's just the wedding nerves. I think. Hopefully."
Toby laughs again, "I'm sure everything will be back to normal after the wedding."
"I can't believe it's a week away," Caleb states, dumbfounded. "I remember our engagement party. It feels like it was yesterday."
Toby reflects back for a second. In his perspective, it feels like a life time ago, but he agrees anyway, "yeah."
"By the way..." Caleb starts in a voice that makes Toby nervous. "You won't mind taking one of Hanna's friends to the wedding, would you? She just broke up with her boyfriend, and now she's a huge mess, and going on about how she doesn't know if she'll be able to have the pride to show up. Hanna really wants her there, though. I think you may have met her, or gone on a date with her before. Her name's Mona?"
He does remember Mona. He was supposed to go on a date with her. Hanna gave her number to him, and given him strict orders to call her up, but he never did. Apparently Mona was Hanna's junior high BFF, and lives a couple cities away. He doesn't know if he was actually ever going to call her. He felt too obligated to Spencer, even though they weren't dating. But they are now, so he most definitely doesn't want to go with her to the wedding. And he is almost positive Spencer would not go along with it either.
He doesn't say anything so Caleb continues. "I don't know. All I know is that she is pretty hot, and that she's just gotten out of relationship, so she isn't ready for something real. You could really get something out of this, dude. Really."
"I—um."
He really needs to tell Caleb about him and Spencer, but he feels like he should talk to Spencer about it first. This seems like something she would want to discuss. "I just, can't."
"Why not?"
He sighs, "I'm sure she'll come."
"Maybe. But, come on? Why is it such a big deal? I just don't want to go back to Hanna with a 'no'. Okay, dude? Do me a solid?"
Toby stares at the floor, debating to just blurt the words out, I am dating Spencer. But he can't say the words for whatever reason. "I can't."
Caleb groans, "I get it, okay? I just. WHY? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with Hanan, and I'm just—please? I'm begging. I'm actually begging. Do you want me to come over there and get on my knees, because I will."
"I'm seeing someone," he blurts.
"What?" Caleb responds. "Wha—who?"
"Just...someone."
"What the hell, man?"
"I'll tell you soon. It's just really early, and yeah."
"How early?"
"A day."
"Oh my God," Caleb groans. "Fine, but if I find out you're lying, I'm going to hire someone to kick your ass everyday that I'm gone," he states, referring to his honeymoon. They are going to Panama. "That is if we even go on this honeymoon. Hanna might just kill me when I tell her that you won't take Mona."
"I'm sure you'll be fine," Toby replies tiredly. "Stop being so dramatic."
"I'm being dramatic? You're the one who won't tell me who you're dating. What is this middle school? God damn."
Toby rolls his eyes, "good luck with Hanna," he grumbles.
...
The dance classes ended about two weeks ago. Spencer has felt some loss since the dance class ended. She really enjoyed getting back into it, even if the instructor was a bitch. It really helped her work through her grief. It just felt so natural, and incredible. She's been nostalgic about Dance before—missing it, but she's never done anything with that nostalgia, she's just waited for it to pass. When she was in that dance class, her nostalgia faded away. But now it's back, and worse than it was before.
So, Spencer is going to take some dance classes over the summer. She doesn't care what her mother says. Or Melissa, even. Her dad is probably rolling his eyes in his grave, but she doesn't care. She knows that dance is her escape. It is what makes her happy. Truly happy, and alive.
It's always been an important part of her life, and when it was taken away, she didn't' feel whole. But she isn't going to let that happen again. No.
This is what she loves, and she is not going to refuse the things she loves anymore. She's decided.
Toby calls her after she signs up for the dancing classes, and her first words are, "Hey. Guess what? I signed up for some dancing classes."
"But you don't need classes," he comments. "You're already amazing at it."
She rolls her eyes, but smiles. "I thought you'd be happy for me. You've been nagging me about law school this whole year, and now I'm doing something I love."
"Wait, you're planning to...what? Drop law school, become a dancer?"
"Woah, don't push it. It's just a step. But, I don't know. Who knows," she ponders. "I certainly did not imagine myself dating you a year ago, but here I am..."
He chuckles.
"But, really. I don't know. They are just classes."
"Yeah, yeah," he amusedly murmurs. "But anyways are you busy tonight?"
"Um," she bites her lip, thinking. She was supposed to go have dinner with her mother, and Melissa. And she is definitely not bringing Toby along to that mess. "Kind of?" she replies. "I'll be back at, like, 9, most likely." Her family likes to have dinner late. Like at 8, because her mother and sister don't get off of work till, like, 7. "Maybe 10..." she mumbles a second later. Her mother's house is about forty minutes away. "Why?" she questions.
"Ah, nothing. It doesn't matter. But hmm, you busy right now?"
"I have work."
Spencer works at the school's library. Most of her tuition is paid for by her scholarship, but she does have an apartment rent to pay for. Along with food, and other things. And since some students take summer classes, she has to be there still.
"Do you have time to talk?"
She laughs, "yeah, I mean, I don't go in for about an hour. So, I guess, I can. But this better be good because I could be watching Orange Is the New Black."
"No promises," he declares. "Mind if I stop over?" he asks.
"Okay," she allows, "see you then."
"Bye Cupcake," he snickers.
"I hate you," she bids before he hangs up.
...
When he gets to her apartment she offers him coffee because she is making some, but he declines because it is 3 in the afternoon. In response, Spencer calls him a weakling, and once her coffee is made, she sits across from him at her small circular table.
Aria used to live with her once. She moved out right after the engagement party. She has been living with Holden, instead. Spencer thought she was crazy because they had only been dating for two months. In fact, she still thinks she is crazy. She hopes Toby doesn't want to talk about anything like that.
"So, I talked to Caleb today," he starts.
"Did he say anything about me?" she immediately sits up in her chair. "Maybe that's not fair to ask, butI am your girlfriend now."
Toby smiles at the words. He thinks back to earlier and what Caleb said, and debates on telling her the truth. "Umm, he's just upset that you're mad at him," he decides.
"Good. He should be upset."
He laughs, and continues. "Anyways, he wanted me to take Mona to the wedding. Apparently she's a wreck because her boyfriend broke up with her and—"
"What did you say?" she questions, cutting him off, her eyes hard with—what?—jealousy?
"I said that I couldn't, but that wasn't enough for him. So, I said I was seeing someone."
Her features soften, "oh."
"I think we should tell people about us."
She bites her lip, and stares down at her coffee for a glance. "I don't know. Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Well, why not? I mean, Caleb thinks that I'm making this up. And he's all pissed at me because he and Hanna have problems, and—I just want to show him that I'm telling the truth."
Her eyes head south, "I just—I feel like it's going to start up a bunch of drama, ya know? With Hanna. And Caleb. They were freaking out about us being friends, remember? I mean just think of their reactions to us dating."
"I get that, and I have the same fears, but I'm not ashamed of it," he says. He says it in a way that implies that she is.
"I'm not, either!" she exclaims. "I just," she sucks in a breath, "it's been a day."
He stares at her, and she feels a need to explain. "It's early, and um..." she gulps. "I'm just—we should see how this plays out, first," she feels herself falling in a deeper hole as she talks. "If all goes well, we'll tell them after the wedding!" she suggests.
"You don't think we'll last a week?" he narrows his eyes on her.
"No, that's not what I'm saying," she sighs. "I'm just," she looks up, "I just don't want to tell them because I know they'll give us shit, and say we won't last—and I don't want to give them that right."
"Spencer," he starts, "what you're saying right now—you don't think we can last a week."
"I'm not—I don't mean it like that."
But she does. She does. But she didn't mean to say that. She didn't mean to say it like that. She didn't mean to start a fight.
He keeps glaring at her, and she isn't sure what to say. She's never been good at any of this.
"It's been a day, and we're already fighting!" she exasperates. "Okay? So, forgive me for thinking that we just need to see how this goes before telling anyone!" She is starting to lose her temper, even though she knows he has a right to be mad.
"Okay, I get like maybe a month, but a week? It's seven days."
"I know how many days there are in a week, okay? I just—," she groans. "It's us! Okay? What do you want from me?"
"I don't know, Spencer," he huffs, standing up, and pushing his chair in. "Maybe a little faith? That maybe we can work? For at least a week?"
She stands up, "I want it to work! I do, but—"
"You don't think it can. I know."
He starts towards her door, and she shouts out, "where are you going?" but leaves before she can get an answer.
She lets out a frustrated howl before sinking back in her seat. Why does is she such a screw up when it comes to relationships?