I tried to take a deep breath as I walked away from my car, towards the front door of Harry's gigantic house.
My heart was racing so much, it was making me tremble slightly, as I fought to hold the flowers still and stop the wrapping from rustling.
If I was here to see Harry, I would've strolled up to the door confidently with no qualms whatsoever. But I was about to meet his mum, and I wasn't sure how I was even still functioning with how nervous I was.
"It's fine, Niall. She's probably lovely." I told myself in a whisper as I got closer to the door.
Holy fuck was I shitting it.
Once I was on the doorstep, I took another deep breath and held it, as I reached up with my free hand, knocking twice as I cradled the peonies I'd bought for her on my other arm.
I froze as I heard some shuffling, and a key being turned in the lock, before it began to open, and I caught my first glimpse of her.
I had no clue what she looked like, so I didn't know even vaguely what to expect.
Her skin was lightly tanned, her hair dark, and her eyes bright as she took one look at me and gave me a beautiful smile.
"You must be Niall?"
I was surprised she knew who I was, but I figured Harry had probably told her I was coming.
"Yeah, that's me,"
way to go Niall,
"it's lovely to meet you Anne."
I held my hand out to her, and she chuckled, before stepping out of the house a little and pulling me into a very unexpected hug.
She held me tightly almost like Harry did but in a much more motherly way, obviously.
"Um, these are for you." I smiled sheepishly as we released each other from the brief hug and I offered the flowers to her.
She smiled even wider, if that was possible, taking them carefully from me, so much happiness in her face, it almost made me relax.
"Thank you so much, you're so thoughtful." She praised, making my eyes widen as she pecked my cheek before ushering me inside.
Once she'd shut the door she made her way towards the kitchen, and I followed slowly, watching her as she fetched a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water for the flowers, humming softly as she did so.
Wow, her and Harry were similar when they did stuff like that.
I mean, of course they would be, they're literally mother and son, but it was almost unnerving how many mannerisms they shared.
Clearly, he looked up to her a lot.
"Sit down, sweetie, I'll make some tea."
She placed the glass of flowers on the countertop of the island, gesturing for me to sit, but I shook my head and smiled.
Everything felt a little more natural now, even if I was still apprehensive. If she knew who I was, how much did she know? What had Harry told her about me?
"I'll do that, I'm here to check in on you after all." I smiled, gesturing right back at her and making her chuckle, as she rolled her eyes a little and sat down.
"Such a gentleman, thank you,"
she watched me as I walked towards the kettle, filling it up from the tap and putting it on to boil,
"Harry was always one to keep good company when he chose to. He's never been overly sociable, but I think he would be if he wasn't so shy." She added, making me frown a little as I got two mugs from the cupboard Harry had shown me last time.
He was so extra that he'd showed me what was in every cupboard in the kitchen, but his excuse was that I'd be coming back so it would be handy to know.
As you can imagine that made me die just a little bit. Okay, no, it was a lot.
Even more so when he called me cute for blushing and kissing my cheek over and over.
"He's shy? He doesn't seem that way, he's just, sort of, unfathomable most of the time at work. If not a little stern."
I glanced over my shoulder at her, to see that she'd turned the stool a little, so she was facing me more, still smiling like everything was perfect in the world, even when it so clearly wasn't.
I'd honestly expected someone much more depressed, or at the very least, less happy and content than she seemed. Her optimism was definitely admirable – she was obviously a very strong person, and I strangely envied it.
"He's one of the most timid people I know. When he was little, he'd spend all his time drawing and sewing by himself, even when his classmates would ask him to hang out with them, he'd always rather be by himself because it meant he didn't have to face people he didn't know,"
she shrugged, as I put a teabag in her mug and coffee granules in mine,
"I think from the business side of things, he likes to pretend he's angry and strict, but really, he's one of the most kind, gentle men I've ever known."
She seemed almost whimsical as she talked about her son, and I was mildly perplexed because she was telling me so much about him so quickly, but then again, depending on what Harry had told her about me, it may have been completely understandable.
Either that, or she just wanted to talk about him with someone who knew him personally, because he clearly meant a lot to her, and I knew she must be overwhelmingly proud of him.
"He is a lot more relaxed and normal than I thought he was from just seeing him at work, I must say." I chuckled a little, pouring the water into both mugs and stirring them as she laughed.
"I think his employees might have heart attacks if they knew what he was really like." She laughed as I handed her the mug, and she thanked me softly.
"You can say that again." I smiled as I sat down beside her, sipping from my mug and singeing my tongue a little.
I barely reacted to it – I burnt my tongue on coffee far too often.
She took a drink from her own mug, complimenting my tea-making skills before we fell into a strangely comfortable silence.
I'd been under the impression that this interaction would be weird and awkward, but it was the complete opposite. Maybe it was something in their genes that made them so easy to be around.
Yep, I was mentally fitting myself into their family dynamic already – way to go on not being psycho about this Niall.
"Anne, I have a weird question." I piped up, making her turn to look at me, her expression questioning but still infinitely kind.
"Yes sweetie?"
The fact that she'd already nicknamed me made my heart soar.
What in hell had Harry told her about me?
As much as I wanted to know exactly that, I had a completely different question I wanted to ask her. I inhaled deeply, holding it for a moment.
"Does Harry smile at you?"
She chuckled, setting down her mug of tea, her hands still wrapped around the porcelain.
"Of course he does,"
she smiled herself, as I let out a small breath of relief,
"he only smiles at people he loves, so I imagine you get more smiles than me, or anyone in our family, for that matter."
Okay, hold up. What?!
Was it possible to do a mental double take? Because I'm pretty sure that's what I'd just done.
People he loves.
She was still beaming but I could hardly move. My stomach turned as my chest tightened, and I just stared at her.
People he loves.
I couldn't even utter a single word – I just watched her smile fade into a soft frown.
People he loves.
She placed her hand gently on my forearm.
"Everything alright sweetie?" she asked, concern all over her face in a way that could only be described as motherly and affectionate.
"Um, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just glad he does smile at you because people have told me he doesn't." I quickly covered for myself, hoping she wouldn't ponder on the fact that I'd hesitated.
She rolled her eyes a little, laughing lightly.
"Yes, I can imagine lots of rumours get spread. That's what happens when you're well known, and as enigmatic as my Harry."
The look on her face when she talked about him made me feel strangely sad. She clearly loved him as much as he loved her, if not more, and I couldn't believe that her illness was going to inevitably tear apart their family – it was just so unfair.
We talked for a little while, veering away from talk of Harry, as she asked me about myself and I told her about my master's degree, my schoolboy dreams of starting my own fashion line, my parents, and even Theo.
She got all smiley again when I mentioned my nephew, even more so when I showed her a picture of him.
"What a cutie! I bet your mum is thrilled to have a grandson." She gushed. But her smile started to fade a little as she gazed at the picture.
I felt myself frown for a second before realising what was wrong. I put my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently as she sighed and rubbed her cheek under her right eye a little.
"Does Gemma not have any children?" I asked softly.
I'd learnt yesterday that Harry's sister was famous model, of all things, and the only reason I hadn't put two and two together was because she modelled under her married name.
Anne sighed again, and I felt her leaning into my touch slightly as she shook her head.
"She's always been so focused on her modelling, and I wouldn't want her to falter for my sake, because she loves what she does and I'm so proud of her. But I hoped to be around for when her and Harry started families, and now I know I won't be."
My heart broke as I watched a tear roll down her cheek. I took my phone from her hand, locking it to hide the picture of Theo, placing it face down on the countertop.
I turned in my seat, facing her slightly more, as I gently hugger her. She held me tight and I could feel her taking deep, shaky breaths over my shoulder – I didn't want to let her go.
Even in such a short time of being acquainted with her, there was just something so likeable, so comforting about her.
I knew I was going to be crushed when the cancer eventually won; I felt like I'd known her for years already.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, stroking her back, before she pulled away and rubbed her eyes a little.
She smiled weakly at me as I got up to fetch her a tissue, sitting myself down as I handed it to her.
"It's not your fault, sweetie. It can't be helped." She shook her head, wiping her cheeks and exhaling slowly, staring into her lap.
She'd been so strong up until this point, that I felt somewhat responsible, even though I knew I shouldn't, because I had no idea that it was such a sensitive subject.
We sat in silence for a minute, not saying a word, even as she reached out for my hand, and I obliged instantly, holding hers gently in both of mine.
"I'm sorry for doing this, I know you've only just met me, you probably think I'm being ridiculous." She shook her head, staring into her lap.
I squeezed her hand gently, shaking my head too as she glanced up at me.
"I don't think that at all," I reassured her, smiling a little in the hope of cheering her up,
"and anyway, I'm sure my mum would be happy to share grandma duties with you for Theo."
She laughed sadly, wiping her cheek again and squeezing my hands back. I watched her as her eyes trailed my face before fixating on my eyes.
"You're very sweet, Niall."
I smiled, shaking my head a little.
"I try my best."
She managed a small, still slightly sad smile, sitting up a little straighter in her seat.
"I guess that explains why that crazy son of mine is so smitten with you, hmm,"
she hummed, and I felt my face flush, my cheeks heating with an uncontrollable blush, even when she squeezed my hand once more and got up, heading for the fridge,
"he never stops talking about you. Gemma always says it's annoying, but I think it's sweet as anything. Seeing someone being as captivated with another person as Harry is with you is truly something beautiful."
The more she spoke, the more I completely forgot how conduct myself as a normal person.
How were human beings even supposed to act anyway?
Without directly saying so, Mr Harry Styles' mother was telling me that her son was in love with me.
As much as I wanted to hear it from his mouth, so I could fully believe it, I was still fucking flying at the notion that he gushed about me to his family, even to the point where he annoyed his sister. I couldn't believe this was really happening.
Niall, are you sure you're not dreaming?
"Does he really talk about me that much?" I asked, taking deep breaths and talking slowly to keep my voice steady as she took a rectangular baking tray out of the fridge.
I could only assume it was one of the meals Harry had prepared for her before he left – I honestly hadn't been paying enough attention to what he was doing whilst he was here that morning,
I was too busy admiring him. Like usual, I suppose.
"You and the magazine are the only thing he talks about whenever he sees us. Even when we're talking about something totally unrelated to your line of work, he still manages to veer the conversation back to you."
She chuckled as she placed the tray down on the countertop next to her empty mug, leaning down a little to read the note Harry had taped to the top of the cling film about what temperature to heat the food up at.
I tried to keep myself breathing steadily, but it was so much harder than I'd hoped. I could feel her motherly gaze on me even as I stared into my lap, trying with all my might to compose myself.
It's not that much of a big deal, Niall, you're overreacting. Okay that's a lie, this was huge.
"You didn't know he did that kind of thing, did you?"
I took a sharp intake of breath as she placed her hand gently on my shoulder, and I forced myself to look up at her, shaking my head slowly.
There was something about the look on her face that made me want to confess everything: my long-standing and wildly inappropriate crush, the things I'd heard from Bella about the obsession and the cameras, the way her son had kissed me during a photoshoot like the smooth bastard he was.
But I knew better than to blurt out my feelings by now, so I bit my tongue, waiting for her to speak instead. She sighed a little, stroking my t-shirt covered shoulder with her thumb.
"I'm sorry for assuming you knew. Naturally, as he called you his boyfriend when he rang me this morning, I presumed you were aware of it."
She shook her head a little, watching me with a solemn expression as I tried desperately to stop my face from showing how insanely happy I was to hear the words she'd just said.
Harry had called me his boyfriend.
I could barely fathom what was happening.
He thought of me as his fucking boyfriend.
I was pretty sure this is was the best feeling I'd ever had in my entire life.
"It's alright, no harm done." I reassured Anne with a small smile, which, after a moment of hesitation, she accepted before going back to sorting out some food for the two of us.
As she turned the oven on, she went off once again, showering Harry with flattery, this time over his cooking. By the sounds of it, he was quite insecure about his chef abilities, but she disagreed with his self-doubt quite vocally.
In all fairness, she was right – he was a fucking amazing cook.
The more I learnt about Harry, the more I felt myself fill to bursting with an unconcealable kind of happiness, the sort that made me want to gain the power to bring time forward, so he could be here already, and I could hold him.
Well, have him hold me, but that's just a technicality.
As Anne got up once again to check on the food, I couldn't help but wonder when he was going to confess all this to me himself.
When was he going to tell me he loves me? When was he going to vocally acknowledge me as his boyfriend?
I guess only time would tell.
-
I stood, shifting my weight between my feet as I waited in anticipation of Harry at the airport.
Because of the flight change, he'd come back to London in a private jet, and was landing at the last gate, where no paps and journalists knew he would be.
I was relieved when he'd told me all this before boarding the flight this morning, because it meant I could act affectionately towards him and not jeopardise either of our careers whilst we were still in the early stages of being boyfriends.
It felt so fucking good to say that.
I couldn't wait for him to call me that in person, hear the word rolling off his tongue in his deep, soft voice. Wow, I'd missed his voice, even though it had barely been two days and I'd called him yesterday anyway.
But being in person was totally different. I'd missed his lips too. My god was he getting some serious kisses from me when I eventually saw him.
I'd been waiting for a good 20 minutes, and my anxiety was getting the better of me – I just had to hope he was okay.
Relax, Niall, you're blowing this out of proportion, as bloody usual.
I sighed, checking my watch and hoping Anne was doing alright back at the house too. I'd left her alone under the pretext that I had to go and fetch something for her.
It wasn't a total lie, but I could tell it had made her suspicious.
I looked up when I suddenly heard some footsteps, and I felt my heart leap into my mouth when I saw Harry's personal body guard, Tommy, checking the coast was clear, meaning Harry would be hot on his heels.
I was far too excited to see him, god damn.
When Tommy spotted me, he smiled a little, which was a huge rarity for him, but then I remembered that Harry had told him about our little rendezvous before he'd left for New York, and he was the only person who was professionally associated with us, besides Zee, who knew.
He was just over 7ft and build as hell – you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him. So I was pleasantly surprised at his friendly smile, which I gladly returned as I continued to attempt to keep hold of my cool.
But I forgot about all of that when I heard his voice.
"Is he there, Tom?"
My heart was racing so much I was almost trembling as he stepped out of the perpendicular hallway, meeting my gaze and stopping in his tracks.
His entire face lit up like he was seeing the sun for the first time in months, and I felt like the only person in the entire world.
He was wearing a vintage Hard Rock café t-shirt with black skinny jeans, a pair of YSL sunglasses holding back his overgrowing curls, his shoulders covered with a royal blue Gucci knitted, open front jumper with tigers on it.
I choked out a small breath, smiling at him as he walked towards me, speeding up slowly as he approached me.
Everything went in slow motion in my mind, as he got within two feet of me, and I basically threw myself into his arms, nuzzling my face into his warm neck as he held me carefully against his body.
How was it that I'd missed him this much in such a short amount of time? Is this really what love felt like?
"I missed you so much."
I was aware that I sounded pathetic, but I couldn't lie to him. That and my brain to mouth filter was failing me once again.
"I missed you more." He rasped, kissing the shell of my ear as I scoffed lightly and leant back from him, seeing his smile and feeling my heart soar.
"This isn't a competition, babe." I playfully scowled at him as he chuckled.
I pouted at him a little, knowing from his smile that he knew what I wanted.
The second our lips met, everything dissolved into nothing at all, and I remembered one big ass reason why I'd missed him so much – I literally couldn't get enough of his lips, they were fucking perfect.
Niall, you're so far up his ass, what the shit.
When our kiss naturally ended, both our mouths now warm and our lips slick, I moved right back into his hold again, squeezing him tighter than before, knowing that after yesterday, he really needed this hug.
He let out a long, heavy exhale over my shoulder, moving his arms more securely around me, as his slightly tense shoulders relaxed.
I never wanted to move – I wanted him to hold me forever.
"Thank you for yesterday." He murmured in my ear, his deep voice heavy with emotion.
After dinner with Zee, I'd gone home and texted him all night, making sure he was okay, reassuring him I was going to be there for him through everything with his mum, and basically just trying to be as supportive as physically possible from so far away.
This hug had been a long time coming.
"It was nothing, baby, I'm just glad I could help."
I titled my head and kissed his neck lightly, earning a delicate kiss to the shell of my ear in return.
After another minute or so, we slowly moved back from each other and he somehow managed a smile, moving his right arm around from my back, drawing my eyes down and making them widen as I realised I hadn't even noticed that he was holding something.
Clearly, I'd been far too excited to see him.
Clutched in his hand was a small postcard with a picture of a New York street on it, and a single rose, the petals pure, undamaged white.
I felt his lips press to my forehead as I stared at the flower and card with so many emotions running through my body like ignited flames, I didn't even know where to begin processing them.
Being the lame ass person I was, I knew exactly what a single white rose meant – pure and heart felt, new and unspoiled love.
What did I ever do to deserve this man?
"Do you like it, angel?" he murmured, his lips brushing my skin as he spoke.
I hummed a little, nodding slowly as I could as I took hold of his right hand that was still holding the flower and postcard.
"Read it," he whispered, looking down at me as I peered up and our eyes met; I'd missed those wild jade irises with my whole being,
"I was going to send it when I was there, but I figured you'd get it after I came back anyway so I may as well give it to you myself."
He was rambling, but I was only half listening, focusing much more on being careful not to make him drop my rose as I took the postcard from him.
As I turned it over, admiring his scrawling handwriting, I felt his hand on my waist, pulling me closer so one side of our chests touched, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck, his eyes burning into me.
I felt a rush of emotion, the urge to cry, to hug him, kiss him over and over again being almost unbearable as I read his small note.
It was only 12 words, but they were the most heartfelt 12 words I'd ever read.
"If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you xxxx"
I hadn't taken a breath since turning over the card, and it was making my head spin a little - I knew he could feel it, but I didn't want to worry him.
I wanted to thank him, telling him I loved him, but I had no idea how to even begin.
"Harry, I don't know what to say." I confessed, almost stuttering as I looked up at him, trying to ignore the light stinging in the back of my eyes as they threatened to fill with tears.
He smiled, leaning down a little and pressing a small kiss to the tip of my nose.
"All I need to know, is if you like it, and the rose too." He said softly, flattening his hand and splaying his fingers just above the small of my back, supporting my body against his.
I just gazed up at him with all the adoration I'd ever felt for one person.
I could never have predicted this in a million years.
"Of course I do, baby."
He barely let me finish my sentence before he leaned down again and kissed me, his mouth warm and his lips soft, as always.
I whimpered quietly, nuzzling myself closer to his broad body as he smiled through the kiss.
"You're amazing darling, I missed you so much," he purred, kissing me again, slower and sloppier than before as I wrapped my arms around his neck,
"I adore you."
I nearly whimpered again, desperate to hear him say the word love but knowing that adore most likely meant even more than that.
"I adore you too." I murmured, my lips grazing his as he pulled back slowly, his eyes almost closed as he smiled at me, with the widest grin I'd seen from him yet.
He handed me the rose too, closing my fist carefully around the stem for me, as he wrapped his arm around my waist, tugging me into a slow walk by his side.
"I'm so happy you're here, thank you so much for fetching me." He praised as we started following Tommy who, apparently, had walked past us and was waiting by the corridor leading to the private exit.
I honestly hadn't even noticed him since I'd locked eyes with my boyfriend.
I didn't think I'd ever get tired of calling him that.
"As if I wouldn't,"
I rolled my eyes, hearing him chuckle and being unable to contain my smile,
"and in any case, I know you want to see your mum, and she definitely wants to see you."
His face contorted a little at my words, but when he glanced down at me, I could see in his eyes that he wasn't as unhappy as his heavy sigh had made him sound.
They were glowing with something like appreciation, and I knew without him even saying it aloud, that he was grateful for me going through with my promise and spending time with her today.
"You're incredible, you know that?"
He managed a smile, pulling me a little closer to him as we got outside, and I quickly told Tommy where my car was parked.
We didn't say much more, as we walked hurriedly towards the car, getting in quickly as I leaned over his lap, getting my glasses case from the glove compartment.
I could feel his eyes on me as I wiped the lenses a little with the cleaning cloth, before slipping them on over my ears, and positioning them on the bridge of my nose.
When I looked over at him in the passenger seat, his jumper sleeves now rolled up a little – he must've done it after he took the postcard and rose back off me whilst I drove - a small smirk was playing on his lips as he gazed at my face.
I wished myself not to blush, but it was ultimately in vain.
The way he looked at me always made my body react both emotionally and physically - love was a scary thing, I guess.
"I always forget how much your glasses suit you until you put them on." He said softly, placing his hand on my thigh as I started the car, still unable to tear my eyes from him.
"I could say the same about you if I hadn't only seen you wearing yours once." I retorted, now smirking myself as his own cheeks were graced with a light pink blush.
He only needed his glasses for close up reading, but he'd shown me them anyway, and I honestly adored them on him.
There was something about the wide, round rimmed tortoiseshell glasses that just suited him down to the ground and made him look bizarrely sexy.
"You wear yours better than I wear mine." He shook his head, pulling a teasing face at me as I rolled my eyes and told myself to focus on driving now and try to ignore his hand on my leg.
Haha, good one Niall.
"I respectfully disagree." I scoffed, shooting him a playful smile, as I pulled out of the parking space, seeing Tommy watching us intently in the rear view mirror as we left.
I felt my body tense up as Harry's hand closed slightly tighter around my thigh, making me inhale sharply.
"You can disagree all you want, angel, doesn't make me wrong,"
I could hear the smirk in his voice without even looking over at him,
"I'm almost always right anyway, so there's no point arguing."
His voice was lowering into an almost purr, making my body shiver a little, as I had to physically force myself not to look at him.
If I didn't know any better I'd pull on a side street and let him fuck me into next week, right here on the backseat of my car.
Don't tempt yourself, Niall, you know you'll do it.
I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself and keep my boner down. Well, that was never going to happen, but it was worth a shot.
"Harry, I'm trying to drive." I mumbled out, my voice a little shaky as he chuckled, and I felt his presence right by my ear.
"I know, but you look so gorgeous in your glasses, angel. I can't resist you." He rasped, his lips brushing my ear, before they were suddenly gone, along with his hand on my thigh.
I exhaled fully again, shooting him an attempt at an angry glare, my cheeks still puffed out a little, but apparently it wasn't as intimidating as I'd hoped.
He laughed softly, kissing his index finger before tapping the tip of my nose gently with it.
"That was the cutest face you've ever pulled." He announced, looking oddly proud of himself as he gazed at me, his head leant back on the headrest, a small, almost sleepy smile playing on his goddamn perfect lips.
I had to look away when the lights we were stopped at turned green, but I could still feel his eyes on me.
"I don't even know how to react to compliments, I'm new at this." I shrugged, letting out a small nervous laugh.
It was true though – I'd been complimented by him more in the past four days, than I had been by anyone else in my entire life.
No one ever gave me genuine compliments, and the only people who commented on my clothing or personality were Zee and my parents anyway.
They had to say nice shit though, they were all basically my family.
But Harry had no obligation to say stuff like that to me, which made it all that much sweeter, and subsequently harder to figure out a reaction to.
I could see him roll his eyes a little in my peripheral vision.
"Clearly other people don't see what I see, and if they do, they obviously don't like you enough to say something to you about it."
He shrugged a little, surprising me and making my eyes widen a little as he took my hand off its resting place on the gear stick and intertwined our fingers, stroking the back of my hand with the soft pad of his thumb.
I couldn't stop myself from smiling though – my cheeks were near to aching at how much I was grinning.
Every time he voiced his like of me, it all just felt more real, and less like some sort of prank, which is what my paranoid brain was telling me this was.
"Maybe..." I trailed off, feeling a small amount of relief that his house wasn't far from the airport.
I felt silly, because I was making this conversation awkward, but I just didn't know how to act.
Never in my life had I ever actually dated someone.
Yeah, you read that correctly.
Niall James Horan has never had a boyfriend.
It had never really been an issue but now, my inexperience was making me say and do stupid things. I mean, obviously, Harry was going to have had some sexual partners in his life who weren't me – he was 5 years older than me for fuck sake.
So, naturally I expected that he knew what to do and what to say, and then there was me.
Good job bringing yourself down, Niall.
My negative thoughts were interrupted when I heard Harry let out a sigh, squeezing my hand a little.
"Darling, what's wrong?"
His voice was soft, his tone caring, as I stole a quick glance at him, hearing myself sigh as I took in what I could of his beauty in that split second.
I knew I should tell him – one thing I wasn't totally dense about, was how important honesty was in a relationship, and if that's what this apparently was, then honest I should be.
"You know the morning after we first hooked up and I said I wasn't good at this kinda stuff? Well, I meant it for more than just pet names." I murmured, keeping my voice as low as possible, almost praying he didn't hear me.
I jumped a little when I felt his thumb touch my cheek gently.
"My sweet angel, you're being so harsh on yourself,"
I could see him shaking his head,
"you're a lot better at this than you think you are, and besides, all you need to do is be natural. Be yourself, because that's the you I adore."
We'd stopped at another red light, the junction before the turn off for his long ass road, so I used the opportunity to glance at him, my heart picking up it's pace a little as I smiled at him, my chest swelling with happiness at his content and loving expression.
"Really?" I half squeaked, wiggling a little in my seat as he nodded.
"Really truly, my love."
My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I realised what he'd just called me.
I couldn't move a muscle as he lifted my hand he was still holding and pressed a lingering kiss to the back of it, keeping his eyes on me the whole time.
"I'm your l-love?"
I cursed myself mentally for stuttering, but he wasn't phased in the slightest, kissing my hand over and over again in slow, sloppy movements as he nodded a little.
"Is that okay?" he asked, looking at me innocently through his thick eyelashes.
That look awoke things in me that I didn't even know were there – he was more than perfection.
"More than okay." I nodded, letting out a shaky breath as he lowered my hand, his eyes darting away from mine for a second as he pointed subtly through the front windscreen.
I jumped into action as I realised the lights were green, so I could move again.
He didn't let go of my hand, even when I had to pull his arm gently along with mine as I moved up the gears. I could feel his crazy eyes burning into me, and it made me want to fly.
Maybe flying was our thing?
With how much he mentioned it, I began to wonder: did I make him feel like he was flying the way he did with me?
Who bloody knows, Niall, chill out.
Either way, it didn't matter because I was his love. His love.
We stayed silent as I drove up his road, pulling up beside his Harley on the driveway. I was about to get out when I noticed him hesitating, looking over at the front door with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"Baby," I cooed softly, turning in my seat and shuffling a little closer to him,
"c'mon, let's go in and see her, okay?"
I was trying to be as gentle as possible with my coaxing, because I knew if he cried I'd fucking break down in tears myself.
I'd had a little cry when I got home the night before, and that was enough for me right now – I hated crying.
He let out the heaviest sigh I'd ever heard from him, nodding slowly and closing his eyes before getting out as I did the same.
He made a grab for my free hand as I took the rose and postcard from him to put them back in the car, and I made sure our fingers were comfortably interlocked so he could squeeze my hand as tight as he needed to.
I felt almost a painful tugging in my chest, like my heart was breaking, as we walked towards the door and he started breathing heavier and louder.
"C'mon, baby, that's it. She's going to be so happy to see you, I know it." I encouraged him softly as I dragged him towards the doorstep.
We were only about two feet away from it now.
"Are you sure?" he asked, the sudden weakness in his voice taking me by surprise.
His face, especially around his eyes was turning a light shade of red, and it only made me tug him more frantically towards the house.
"I'm sure baby, she didn't stop talking about you once. She's missed you so much." I reassured him, finally getting him onto the doorstep, still whispering encouragement and the like as I knocked on the door.
If someone had told me a month ago, even a few weeks ago, and Mr Harry Styles could ever look as vulnerable as he did right now, I would've told them to fuck off.
He puffed out his cheeks a little as we heard the key turning in the lock on the other side of the door. I squeezed his hand even tighter as the door began to open and I felt him hold his breath.
"You really took your time, Niall, what were you-" Anne began, freezing as her eyes settled on her son.
No one moved for a moment, and I had a split second of doubt: what if she wasn't as happy to see him as I thought she'd be.
But I knew straight away that it was unnecessary worrying, when she blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"Harry?" she almost whispered, staring at him in disbelief, like she was seeing a ghost.
"Hi mum." He murmured, trying to smile at her as he scratched at the nape of his neck a little, giving her a sheepish look.
She half sobbed, stepping onto the doorstep herself and hugging him, pressing her face into his shoulder.
I immediately let go of his hand, so he could hug her back properly, and I felt a small sense of pride as he looked at me over her shoulder.
"Thank you." He mouthed, before shutting his eyes and cradling her against his body.
"I've missed you baby." She laughed a little through her happy tears as she leaned back from him as looked up at him, cupping his face in her hands.
He put one of his hands over hers, the other resting on her shoulder, as he finally managed to smile properly at her.
My body was almost tingling with how happy this was making me – if one thing could warm my cold, sociopathic heart, it was Harry's happiness.
"I missed you too, mummy."
His voice was husky as he embraced her again and she laughed, rubbing his back and telling him softly that he was very 'huggy' today.
As I was watching them, I felt the smiling falling from my face as a realisation hit me. How many more times was this going to happen before she was gone?
But I had to fight off the dread and near-frustration that was flooding my body as Anne turned to me, her tear streaked face beaming with joy.
"Niall, I can't believe you did this,"
she stepped towards me and hugged me herself, squishing me a little and making me relax a little instantly, despite my morbid and slightly depressing thoughts,
"you're so wonderful, sweetie."
Her praise made me elated and crushed in bizarrely equal measure.
"Isn't he just." Harry chuckled softly from behind her, as she released me from the hug, stroking my hair a little and smiling widely still.
"I knew he would be, you wouldn't settle for less than perfect." She glanced over her shoulder at him, pulling a face as he rolled his eyes a little and I stood frozen in place.
The way they talked about me so casually like I was the best fucking thing since sliced bread - I hadn't felt this loved in a very long time.
"You know me so well, mamma." He wiggled a little, bumping his hip with hers as she laughed and stepped back inside the house.
Before I could even think about moving, his arm was around my waist, tugging me inside.
I couldn't stop staring at him, feeling mildly incredulous about how relaxed he was now, how normal he was around her. She offered to make drinks as he pulled out a seat for me at the kitchen island, but he did what I had earlier that day and told her he'd do it.
"Did you have a good time with Niall today?" he hummed as he clicked the kettle on to boil and got out three mugs, one a little larger than the others.
I watched Anne's face carefully for a reaction, suddenly feeling a little nervous and insecure.
There was something about this situation that was setting off anxiety in my mind. I wanted, no, I fucking needed her to like me. If not then I could lose everything with Harry, and even though it had been mere days, I was far too attached to him to give up easily.
"Of course, pumpkin. He's a charming young man, and he was wonderful company." She gushed to him, before looking back to me, still beaming and shooting me a subtle wink.
I could feel myself blushing, but I fought my hardest to ignore it, even when Harry chuckled and nodded to himself.
I couldn't stop myself from staring at his back – even in that jumper it looked incredible.
"He is pretty charming," he agreed as he turned around, handing full mugs to the both of us, before picking up his own,
"he's amazing too."
He grinned at me as he sat down beside me with his mug, taking my hand on the countertop and pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I didn't know what to do, or say, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him properly.
Niall, why are you like this? His mother is here for crying out loud.
"I am not." I retorted, trying not to sound as awkward as I felt, being here with him and his mum, whilst wanting him as much as I currently did.
My heart was still slightly racing, and it was almost making my body tremble; I just had to hope he didn't notice through his hold on my hand.
"You so are." He scoffed, flicking his head a little dramatically, making Anne laugh.
"Such a drama queen,"
she rolled her eyes,
"I just hope you don't mind a bit of melodrama." She looked at me, raising her eyebrows a little.
I forced out a laugh, hoping it didn't sound as nervous out loud as it did in my head.
Why was I so tense? What was wrong with me?
I felt like I was meeting Anne for the first time all over again, the same feelings seeping into every corner of my mind.
"He's used to it by now, he does work for me after all." Harry sassed back at her, shuffling his seat a little closer to mine and leaning his head gently against my own.
I could feel the heat of his scalp against mine, his curls brushing my ear, and suddenly, my heart rate began to relax.
I think he realised he was helping me to calm down, because he started stroking my knuckles a little with his thumb as his mum talked away, telling us about something that happened with Gemma a month or so ago.
I could feel his breathing, and I tried my best to match it, my body loosening out some of its tension, even more so when I felt his cheekbone touch mine a little as he smiled.
He hummed happily, and I felt my eyes widening, even as I tried to continue listening to Anne's anecdote, as he turned his head and nuzzled his nose into my cheek.
She stopped talking as she noticed what he was doing, just watching him with adoration as he nudged my face a little, trailing the tip of his nose towards the corner of my mouth.
"Kisses?" he whispered, his warm breath fluttering over my skin.
I turned my head and kissed him, almost forgetting Anne was there, but it was only a quick kiss, and I could hear her cooing which made me blush.
I rested my forehead on his shoulder as he chuckled, kissing the top of my head.
"You're both so cute," she laughed softly, happiness all over her face, "I'm so glad you have each other."
My whole face felt hot, the feeling even seeping down to my neck as Harry laughed, his body rumbling beneath my head as he wrapped his arms around my body.
"He's the cute one."
I felt him rubbing his fingers on my scalp a little as I huffed against his jumper, wishing I could hide away from the world in the comfort of his body forever.
They carried on talking, but I wasn't listening anymore.
I was too obsessed with his presence around me, counting the rhythm of his breathing and the gentle rate of his heart beating softly in his chest. My mind was astray, caught up only by him, like there was nothing else in the world that mattered. And right now, it didn't – he was everything I needed, and I was so in love with him.
-
I lay on the mattress next to Harry as he wiggled out of his jeans, kicking them onto the floor, whilst I gazed at the ceiling.
Since the slightly tearful goodbyes when Anne had been picked up by Robin at 8, we hadn't spoke much out loud. We'd communicated almost purely through looks, like we always had done at work.
He'd asked me to stay over, after giving me the suit that he'd so kindly, and unnecessarily, commissioned for me – he'd seen Alessandro in New York, so he'd given it to him then to save it being damaged in transit.
Judging by the personalised note that was attached to the tag, I guessed that Alessandro had great respect for Harry, and subsequently me, especially as he'd offered to design me anything I desired and help me with the August issue whenever I required him.
I'd tried on the suit, which was tailored to fit perfectly, but I'd soon stripped off again, climbing right onto the bed, partly because I was actually tired, but mostly because I knew what he'd most likely be keen to do whilst in this very bed.
We both wiggled a little to get comfortable as he shuffled up to me, lifting his arm so I could snuggle myself against his broad chest.
He sighed beneath my head as I leant it near the middle of his ribs.
"How're you holding up?" I asked softly, tilting my chin up a little so I could see his face better.
He peered down at me, forcing a small smile before letting his eyes flutter closed.
"I'm doing better now I've seen her, but at the same time not,"
he shrugged a little, fidgeting beneath me,
"thank you for being here today and organising me coming home being a surprise for her. She was so happy, and I've missed her proper smile so much."
He pressed a small kiss to the top of my head, making me smile as I kissed his bare chest.
"It was my pleasure, baby, I loved seeing you happy as well." I hummed, shutting my own eyes and nuzzling his chest with my cheek and nose.
He chuckled softly, nodding a little as he used his arm that was draped around my shoulder to tug me closer to him.
"Darling, your kindness is beyond anything I've ever come across,"
his voice was still quiet,
"I know I tell you this every day, but you're amazing, and I wish you could see it the way I do."
I was still surprised whenever he started to talk about my emotions like he knew exactly what they were and what to do and say about them.
The funny thing was, he was always right.
"You're more than amazing." I bit back, wrapping my arm around his torso so I could press my chest against his side.
"That's all you, angel." He purred, as I felt his finger hooking under my chin, tilting up my head so he could lean down and kiss me.
It was long, warm, slightly sloppy, and more of a turn-on than I had anticipated.
After pausing for breath, I lunged slightly back at his lips, as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his hands trailing my body.
Just let yourself enjoy this Niall, stop holding yourself back.
I felt a sudden urge and didn't even stop to question it, so before I knew it, I was sat on his hips, straddling him and panting slightly as I gazed down at him, his eyes relaxed, but his expression surprised.
"Someone's gaining confidence." He rasped, panting a little himself as his eyes hungrily roamed my almost naked body on top of him.
"Is that a bad thing?" I asked coyly, biting my lip as I impulsively pinched his right dark, puffy nipple with my index finger and thumb, making a soft moan leave his lips as he shook his head.
"Quite the opposite, my perfect angel." He praised, holding my hips and rolling them a little over his crotch, his eyes rolling back into his head, as I continued to work his now stiff nipples.
"What do you want me to do?" I hummed, loving how heavenly and lost in the moment he looked right now, just laying beneath me, so powerful yet so weak at the same time.
I needed him.
I craved him in every inch of my body, and it made my skin flush with the kind of heat that made me want to moan out and ride him until the fucking sun came up.
"You really want to know?" he smirked, trying to fight off the clearly strong urge to moan and I pressed my ass against his clothed cock.
I nodded, licking at my bottom lip as he let out a shaky breath, his eyes fixated on me like his life depended on it.
"How about, you get rid of these,"
he hooked his fingers over the waistband of my boxers, letting the elastic snap back against my skin, making me jump a little,
"and come up here and sit on my face like a good angel."
I rolled my eyes back at his words, only imaging what the next few minutes would entail, arousal overwhelming me, absorbing my conscious and drowning me in his waters.
I climbed up off him, standing up on the bed, still looking down at him as I tugged off my boxers, kicking them away as he lifted his hands to hold the back of my thighs.
"Face towards my feet, angel, that way you can cum on my chest."
I let out a soft moan, biting down harder on my lower lip as I nodded, turning carefully around, before slowly kneeling over his head.
He growled, moaning as I felt him run his finger over my hole, making me shiver and hold my breath.
"You're so fucking perfect." He praised, wrapping his large hands around my thighs as I panted, trying to stay sitting up straight until he did something.
I could almost hear him licking his lips as he pulled me down slightly until I felt his hot skin against my ass cheeks.
The cool air of his breath hit my hot skin as he spread my legs and ass cheeks for better access, making me sweat as my body buzzed with need for him.
I made a small noise, trying to hold myself still despite the anticipation wrecking me as he stalled, knowing he was driving me crazy.
My body jolted forwards, only held back by his strong hands, as he ran his tongue over my pucker.
"Angel, you taste like heaven."
His deep, growling moan set my heart of racing as I fought to breathe, his tongue meeting my muscle once more, but with more intent this time.
The more noises I let out, the more he reacted, licking over me harder and faster, leaving me a moaning mess above him, as I leaned my arms against my thighs to keep my body upright.
The pleasure washing through my body over and over again was so consuming, the concept of self-control was a long lost dream.
"Harry, uh- baby, you're so good." I moaned out, my voice sounding much more gravelly than I'd expected, as he dug his fingers into my thighs, making me whine.
All I could hear, besides my own desperate noises, was the slick, wet sound of his tongue meeting my hole.
He suddenly moaned, sending a vibration through my body like a shockwave, making my cock twitch, as I reached down and began to jerk myself off in time with the movements of his skilled tongue.
Never in my life had I felt bliss like this, and I never wanted this rush to stop. But I suddenly felt an even stronger wave of pleasure roll over me, as he pushed his wide, wet tongue into my ass, pumping I slowly inside me.
I moaned out loudly, mewling his name as he continued to moan, each vibration pushing me closer to the edge.
Without even thinking, I started moving my hips a little, so I was riding his tongue, the slick muscle slipping easily in and out of me as I kept jerking myself off.
My eyes rolled so far back into my head it almost stung, bouncing my body lightly on his face, as I let out a string of inaudible words. I could feel the tightening in the pit of my stomach, and it only made me move faster.
"Oh god- Harry!" I whined, a loud whimper falling from my lips as I felt my orgasm building faster,
"baby, uh- keep going, fuck-"
I moaned out his name loudly, my pleasured noises increasing in pitch and volume as I came hard on his chest, riding out my high as I lent my head back, every millimetre of my body tingling with nothing but him.
Before I knew what was happening, he'd somehow spun me around and laid me on my back on the bed, before leaning over me and kissing me sloppily as he wiped the corner of his lips on the pad of his thumb, his eyes trailed to me without falter.
"Did you enjoy that, my needy angel?" he purred, grabbing a tissue and cleaning his chest before laying down beside me, even though our heads were now at the wrong end of the bed.
I knew I couldn't formulate any words, or even vaguely trust my voice, so I just nodded, smiling sleepily at him as he chuckled and leant down to kiss me.
He lingered on my lips, his face warm and his body so relaxed. I almost said it then.
I love you Harry.
"You taste more amazing than I could ever have expected, so I'll definitely be doing that again soon." He added, chuckling softly as he sat up, turning himself so his head was on the pillow again.
Despite my now severe lack of energy, I followed suit, laying myself down heavily next to him as he encaged me immediately in his hold again. I smiled up at him, my eyes only half open lazily, as he beamed down at me.
I was the only thing in the world to him right now – I wanted it to be like that always.
Wow, someone's needy.
"You look exhausted, darling, sleep."
He reached out and gently closed my eyelids, making me smile wider as I nodded, not even bothering to argue with him, as I nuzzled my face into his chest once again.
His body was even warmer than before, and I was grateful for the comforting temperature of his skin as I tried my best to relax enough to rest.
"Sleep well, my love, I'll be right here in the morning, I promise. I adore you, Niall."
His words were barely audible, but I somehow understood every one, and I was eternally grateful of it.
"I adore you too, Harry. Sweet dreams baby."
I leaned up and kissed his chin before curling up again, pushing my legs between his under the covers to hold us closer together.
He hummed softly, pressing his nose into my hair, before kissing it gently and relaxing.
Every moment with him right now was pure and complete bliss.
He was all I wanted and more, and I was just over the moon that, not only had I made him so happy today that he'd pretty much not stopped smiling since we arrive back here and saw his mum. But also that he supposedly loved me, and that he considered us to be dating.
So many of my dreams had come true in my life so far, usually in ways I never expected. But this – this particular dream was by far the least expected one of all.
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A/N y'alllllllll I'm backkkk
Heyooo how are you all?
I apologise for this long overdue chapter, I've been so super duper busy with my band and work I've struggled for time, but here it is!!!
What did y'all think?
What do you think will happen when they go to work together in the morning???
Anywaysss, love you all trillions 💕
H x