A/N: Y'ALL WE'RE ALMOST AT 25K! 🎉
I'm so grateful for y'all, y'all really love me and I love y'all! I pay attention to what you guys say in the comments and it's so refreshing to see all the different viewpoints.
Also would y'all be down to have mini discussions after each chapter? 🤔
Chapter Twelve
"Bitch you did what! Are you dumb or are you dumb?"
"Kam." I sighed deeply, holding the bridge of my nose in distress. I didn't expect for her to be on my side, but damn a slice of pity would have been nice.
"Girlllll." Kam shook her head in dismay as we drifted into an uncomfortable silence, the light padding of rain hitting against our window setting a somber mood.
"You do realize that you and Nadi still aren't talking right? This shit is just the icing on the cake." She spoke up after what seemed like hours of white noise.
If it was one thing Kamryn hated, it was being caught in the middle of Nadi and I's drama. Since we were kids, Kam always found a way to remain neutral, but this time things were different. Kamryn had found herself going to bat for me, but after hearing about my latest run in with Smoke I knew she was slowly beginning to regret it.
"I'm aware, I'm not stupid Kamryn."
"Well shit you could've fooled me." She scoffed in amusement.
"Wowwww!" I drew my head back out of shock, she was going for the jugular tonight.
"What? Don't play. You been acting dumb behind Smoke since he got back and it's honestly starting to piss me off."
It had only been a few days since the bathroom incident, but two weeks had gone by since Nadia and I had our blow out and the wounds had yet to been bandaged.
I thought the gathering at the bowling alley would ease the tension between us, but Nadi didn't even bother to show.
At this point she was going overboard. The two of us had been friends for 17 years, so her behavior was nothing new, but her problem with me was now affecting everyone else. Razi was pissed when she called last minute saying she couldn't make it. She claimed Izzy had planned a surprise date night and she couldn't pass, but I knew my best friend and I knew that that was nothing but a cop out. We saw each other every day and every day we brushed past one another like strangers. The entire ordeal was becoming stressful, but I had done everything I could do. My apology wasn't enough for her and as much as I loved Nadia I wasn't about to kiss her ass. At the end of the day this was an issue that needed to be fixed between Raheem and I, not Nadi.
"You need to figure out what you want babygirl, because you're playing a dangerous game." Kam stood now in front of me, her face full of disappointment.
I hadn't been making the best decisions lately and it was beginning to become a bit of a pattern. I was never one to make rash or impulsive choices but these last few months were starting to prove that narrative false.
"I know what I want."
"Sage spare me, you're a lost bitch, you have no clue what you want."
"I want to be with Gio, but is it so bad that I want Rah around too?" I tried to reason with her.
"Sage that is the most selfish shit I've ever heard.
You have to look at it from his perspective mama."
"I am looking at from his perspective and I understand that it might be h-."
"So you want him to sit around and watch you fall in love with another man while he runs behind. Bitch, do you hear yourself?" Kamryn cut me off, her brow raised in confusion.
"I hear mys-." I started, but bit my tongue once Kam interjected.
"So you hear how stupid you sound?"
"Kamryn." I rolled my eyes in frustration.
It was fine that she didn't agree with me, but it wouldn't be too many more times that she cut me off before I lost it.
"Ok I'm done, gon' head." She waved me to continue.
"I know its selfish, but I d-." I stopped mid sentence, the ringing of my phone interrupting my spill.
"It's Gio." I sighed, knowing he would be heartbroken if he knew about what happened between Raheem and I.
He had forgiven me for sleeping with Rah back in September, but I wasn't sure if he would be so forgiving if he knew Smoke had his tongue down my throat just days ago.
"Have you told him?"
"No and I don't plan to." I shrugged, watching Gio's name finally disappear.
"Wow." Kam chuckled in disbelief, her hand on her hip as she nodded in amazement.
"What? That'll just start unnecessary drama between us, so to avoid it I'm keeping it to my damn self."
"Whew chile, you are scandalous!" She smirked at me before laughing to herself.
"I am not scandalous." I waved her off dismissively. What happened in that bathroom violated my entire relationship with G and although I stopped it before it could escalate any further, my conscious was eating me up because every bit me of enjoyed having Rah's hands roam my body.
"Ok Adulterer." She snickered, eyeing me up and down.
"Kamryn you act like I fucked the man."
"Shit, he had his hand all up in your coochie, you should've just let him finish the job."
"Bitch, get out my face." I scoffed at her bluntness.
Kam was enjoying this entire situation a little too much. Of the three of us I was considered the moral compass, so I knew Kam was eating this shit up.
"Don't be mad at me because you couldn't bust a nut."
"Kamryn this is not funny, I'm stressed the fuck out."
"You better call Smoke, you know side niggas love relieving stress sis."
"Ok yeah it's time for you to go." I pushed her off of the couch, only for her jump up and begin to serenade me.
"Boyfriend number twooooo, because the first one don't really seem he seem like he know what to dooooo." She caressed my cheek.
"I'm so sick of your shit." I swung at her playfully.
"And Rah is sick of yours, we even!" She brushed me off, before taking her seat back on the couch.
"Kam, for real I really don't know what to do." I sighed, throwing my head back into her lap.
"Just lay it all out Sage." She stressed, massaging my scalp as I snuggled my body into her.
"A part of me wants to fight for my relationship with Gio. love how he loves me and he's so gentle and kind. He's helped me grow as a woman and I love him and the partner he's becoming, but in the back of my mind I can't help but to wonder about Rah. If he hadn't left would we still be together? Would we be engaged? Would we even still be in love? He's grown into the man that I always envisioned him to be. I've never stopped loving him and after all these years he still makes my breath hitch whenever I'm in his presence. All signs point to Smoke, but what if he's the love of my life and not the love for my life? What if he was put here to mold me into the woman that I'm supposed to be for someone else? What if I follow my heart and it leads me to heartbreak? I love Gio, I swear I do, but my thoughts are constantly overran by Rah. I miss him and I want to see where this goes but I'm so scared. He left once, who's to say he won't leave again?"
"I just, I don't know what to do." My voice trembled as I found my vision beginning to blur. I was having a complete breakdown ——— one I wasn't prepared for.
"Sage, you have to calm down love." Kamryn grabbed my face gently, a wave of panic washing over her.
"Nadi, Sage is having an attack!" Those six words sent me into a panic as I stormed out of my room in a rush.
"What the fuck happened?" My voice croaked as I stood over my best friend laying on her back, shaking.
"Breath mama, you have to breathe." Kam stressed, her eyes riddled with concern watching on as Sage's chest rose frantically, gasping for air.
"How long ago did it start?" I asked, hoping she wasn't having a full out attack.
"Maybe 30 seconds before I called for you."
"Sa you have to stay with us babygirl." Kam coached Sa, holding her head upright as she drifted in and out of consciousness.
"Shit shit shit." I paced back and forth, watching her head drop.
"We have to go Kam, she's going to start seizing in a minute."
"I'll take the top?" I nodded before we both popped a squat, preparing to transport Sage to the car.
"Lord please let her be ok." I sent up a quick prayer and hoped for the best.
____________
"What happened?" My head shot up as Sage's raspy voice filled the hospital room.
Thanking God, I smiled softly to myself and quickly approached her bedside. Hearing my best friend's voice sent a wave of relief throughout my body, allowing me to breathe again.
"You had an attack and lost consciousness." Kam whispered, her voice tired from crying.
"Have you been taking your medicine?" I watched her sigh to herself and immediately knew the answer.
"Yeah of course." She looked around, desperate not to make any eye contact.
"Sage." I groaned, knowing exactly where this was going. I could bet anything that she hadn't been taking her medicine and if that was case then we had a major problem on our hands.
"I may have missed a pill or two." She shrugged her shoulders carelessly, as if it was no big deal.
The scariest moment of my life was finding Sage on the bathroom floor of our freshman dorm unconscious, surrounded by a pool of blood. We assumed that she hit her head on the counter and passed out, but after rushing her to the closest hospital we found that the situation was much deeper. After hours of running tests and performing diagnostics, Sage was diagnosed with PNES, Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures. That day we learned that PNES were attacks that looked like epileptic seizures, but were not caused by abnormal brain electrical discharges. In short the seizures could be induced by trauma or in Sage's case anxiety. She had always been an anxious person, but her having actual anxiety disorder never crossed our minds. After her diagnosis Mr. and Mrs. Alexander decided therapy would be best and so far it had been. Medicine for PNES proved to be ineffective but, her anxiety pills along with her monthly therapy sessions helped decrease her chances of seizing. It had been nearly two years since her last attack, until today.
"Sage you can't afford not to take your medicine." I exhaled deeply in an attempt not to blow up. She was being careless and not thinking of the consequences of her actions.
"I didn't know you cared." She scoffed and rolled her eyes in an aggravated manner.
"Don't do that." I shook my head in disagreement, grabbing her hand. "Sage I'll always care, regardless of if we're fighting or not. Your health out trumps all of this."
"Look, I don't like what's going on between you and Raheem, but at the end of the day you're still my best friend. I won't always agree with you, but you'll forever be my sister. I hated fighting with you guys and honestly your episode snapped me back into reality. Life is too short to be upset with the people you love the most. I still think you're trifling, but I love your trifling ass."
"Oh bitch trifling isn't the word." Kam snickered, lightening the mood instantly.
"Sa, promise me you'll start taking your medicine again. I honestly cannot even fathom losing you."
"I just hate how it makes me feel." She rubbed her arm, her voice still raspy from her sore throat.
"Well then we can talk to Dr. Richardson about a different dosage or strand, but this I can't handle."
"I'm sorry." She turned toward me, making eye contact with the two of us for the first time today.
"No apologies, we've had enough tears for today, let's make a pact. No more fighting y'all, we're entirely too grown for this shit." I declared, acknowledging both my best friends.
"I agree, I never got my round in, but it's whateva." Kam nudged me playfully, her wide smile on display.
"Girl bye, we can box when we get home!" I waved her off before laying my head on her shoulder.
"No more fighting." We all agreed, pulling each other into a group hug.
"How long was I out for?" Sa sat back, noticing the balloons and flowers surrounding her.
"Three days."
"Three Days! Shit I have assignments to turn in. Who ran practice? Kam we missed filming, fuck we're going to have to shoot twice this week now."
"Sage shut up!" Kamryn grabbed her shoulders and shook her.
"We handled everything, your professors are going to extend your deadline. Porsha ran practice and we can film later."
Nodding her head, Sage sat back and began to relax.
"She's up ma!" The door opened, revealing Santi and Ms. Zola.
"How are you feeling sweet pea?" Ms. Zola rushed to her daughter's side, caressing her cheek.
"I'm ok ma, I'll feel even better the sooner I'm out of here though."
"I'll go get the nurse." Ms. Zola chuckled before stepping out again to inform the staff.
"You and this passing out shit is dead, do better bruh." Santi scowled, pushing through Kam and I, taking a seat at the edge of the bed.
"You really think you my daddy." I chuckled at his overprotectiveness. He swore up and down he was the oldest, often referring to Sa as his little sister.
"Nah but you my sister, it's my job to protect you."
"Aww Santi, you do love me." Sage reached over to hug him, only for her to be met with his hand.
"Chill I ain't even say all that." He pushed her off of him quickly.
"You're foul." She placed a kiss to his cheek quickly before he could object.
"Whateva, when mommy come back tell her you want her to cook tonight."
"And why can't you do that?" I looked on as the two siblings went back and forth with each other.
"Because I already asked and she said no, but if you ask her it's an automatic yes, you're in the hospital you're going to get sympathy yes's off top."
"So I'm a pawn?"
"If that's how you want to take it." Santi smirked mischievously, gaining a few chuckles from each of us.
We continued light conversation for a while, awaiting Mrs. Zola and the doctor's return.
"Knock Knock." The four of us turned toward the door, the light knocks sounding against the metal frame catching our attention.
"Wassup yall." Gio entered and waved to the room before his eyes sank in on Sage.
"Hey baby." G quickly found his way to Sa, a small smile dancing on his face.
"I got these for you." He cleared his throat, handing her a bouquet of sunflowers, her favorite.
"Thank you Giovanni." Sa smiled ear to ear, smelling the bright flowers.
"You're welcome beautiful." He nodded before kissing her hand, sending a blush straight to Sage's rounded cheeks.
"You feeling ok?" His voice was laced with concern, his brown eyes never leaving hers as he awaited her answer.
I can admit, my feelings toward Gio were slightly biased, but I mean could you blame me? His whole aura screamed fuck boy and my best friend had been through enough heart break to last a lifetime.
But maybe I was wrong, hell she did pick him over Rah.Gio had been visiting Sage twice a day since the incident and honestly it made me look at him differently. I knew he cared about her, but I always questioned how deep his feelings truly ran for Sage and these last three days showed me. If she was happy with G than I would support her.
"Hey can y'all give us a minute?" Sage spoke to the room, her eyes anxious.
"Yeah of course, we'll bring back food." Kam kissed her forehead while Santi and I sent her light smiles.
"By G." The three of us waved goodbye as we filed out of the hospital room and left the couple alone.
"Gio we need to talk."
___________________
WHAT ARE YALL THOUGHTS?
& yes I left y'all with a cliffhanger, don't kill me lmao
Sage?
Nadia?
Kam?
PNES?
Love of My Life vs. Love for My Life?
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- until next time✨