In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. People since the ancient times worships light. Light provides safety. It shows us the way, making everything seems clear. In light there is no blind spot, no stones left unturned, no single thing left uncovered.
Light is easy to love.
Show me your darkness.
***
I gave Legolas a smirk as our eyes bore into each other, blue meeting grey. With his fingers, he lightly took my chin and tilted my head a bit to study my neck.
"The bruise is fading," he said lowly, still not letting go of my chin. Instead he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, capturing my lips in his.
There again, that feeling that made my head swim. That spark of electricity that made me come alive. I placed my hands on his arms for support as I tasted his intoxicating lips. So full of promise of what could be; so tempting. By the time we pulled away, Legolas rested his forehead against mine, smiling at me.
"What's that for?" I asked about the kiss, biting my lip.
Legolas' eyes once again traveled to my mouth. He pecked my lips one more time before answering.
"That is me trying to convince you to come out of your room," he said softly. He took my good hand and kissed my knuckles, drawing a smile from me. "You have nothing to be afraid of," his eyes softened as he looked at me.
"I'm not afraid," I denied.
"Then there's nothing stopping you from taking a walk with me." I was about to open my mouth to retort, but Legolas beat me to it, "I do not think that spending your time staring at the Lady Galadriel's gift is productive anymore. It is actually disturbing to think that you are planning on poisoning someone with it," he said with a teasing tone.
"It'll be given only to someone who deserves it," I smiled. "Don't worry."
For a moment Legolas kept looking at me, but I was unable to decipher what was going through under the perfect flaxen hair on his head. I waited until he break his silence.
"Gondor is going to need our help. While we do not know when the beacon of Minas Tirith is going to be lit, I think it is a good idea for us to enjoy the outdoors while we can."
"Months of endless walking is not enough for you?" I asked cheekily. Legolas chuckled.
"You know what I mean," he said, his eyes grew melancholy for a moment. "'Tis not good for you to stay inside all the time. I do not want you to isolate yourself from the world."
"I'm not isolating-"
"Then you can start talking to me about how you feel," he cut me.
"About how I feel?" I smirked at him, "About you?" I feigned ignorance and began tracing my finger on his neck, slowly down to his chest...
I noticed Legolas tensed at my touch and my smile grew. I let my finger slipped under his tunic, feeling his flawless, alabaster skin. His eyes darkened a bit at my touch, but before I could do more Legolas caught my hand, looking somewhat pained.
I wish elves aren't so old fashioned.
"Do not distract me, Sara," he mumbled. "That is really unfair."
"Me? Distracting you?" I taunted, moving my other hand to traced his jaw playfully. I purred, "I thought you want me to tell you how I feel. I don't mind showing you-"
"Stop," he said, stopping my hand again. His eyes bore into mine. Despite the playfulness that I started, Legolas didn't seem amused. "All you have been doing is deflecting my questions. You refused to talk to someone about how you are or how you feel since the bastard touched you."
At his straightforwardness, all my playfulness was gone. "Because there's nothing to talk about. You have the Rohirrim soldier punished, problem solved," I said nonchalantly.
"It is not. It is clear to everyone that you are not alright. You have to talk to someone, Sara," he said softly. "If not to me, then someone. Anyone. It is not good to bottle everything down-"
"-There is nothing to talk about," I snapped.
A look of hurt passed in Legolas' blue eyes. For a second I regretted my rather sharp tone, but I steeled myself, keeping my composure. I pulled myself away from his grasp rather sharply and turned my back on him, folding my hands to my chest. I clenched my jaw.
Opening up wasn't really my forte; it was hard for me. I didn't know where to start and all I could think about was that talking about things would only cause me more trouble. I let the silence filled the room as I gazed out to the window.
"If you won't talk to me, please talk to someone," said Legolas, breaking the silence. "What happened that night was affecting you. I don't know. Maybe there's more. I'm worried about you, Sara. If only David is here, he would agree with me."
I stayed silent, all of a sudden wanting nothing more but for him to leave me alone. But instead, he gently placed his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. I went rigid, even as he planted a soft kiss on my cheek.
I remained silent, not making a voice nor any reaction to his sweet gesture. I felt Legolas' eyes on me, but I refrained from looking into his eyes.
"I'll leave you alone for now, melleth nin. I'll be in the training ground if you need me," he said defeatedly.
I didn't know what's wrong with me. Legolas was nothing but being so kind to me, but I couldn't help but being upset by his sudden confrontation. He kept holding me as if waiting for my response, but having no answer from me, he let go and soundlessly made his way out of my room.
Upon hearing the sound of my door closing, I relaxed and turned back, staring at the closed door.
I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, wondering when everything started to go wrong with my life. Legolas wanted me to talk to him about what was bothering me. But what do I tell him? That I was scared shitless that I was being hunted down? That if I fuck up I will end up betraying him and killing his best friend? That I'll become a permanent monster?
My hand made its way to my belt, pulling out the white, clear vial. I cradled the vial in my hand, my eyes gazing at it again for the third time that day. I pondered to myself, lost in my thoughts again.
I thought of my dad and what was taken from me. Despite the almost impossible task I had to do, I knew I couldn't let my father's murderer go unpunished. One way to get him justice was to defeat Sauron. It means preventing Ungol from waking the dark queen.
The curse will be my way to Revenge.
***
"I'm sorry," I apologized, making the elf tore his eyes away from his shooting target to look at me. His expression unreadable. I continued as I approached him on the training grounds.
"You meant well. I knew that but truth to be told, I'm scared of... a lot of things," I admitted with a cracked voice. "There are things that I keep from you ever since Lothlorien. It's not just about that night of the feast. What happened then just reminded me that I might not be as strong as I thought I am."
Legolas' eyes softened. He slung his bow over his shoulders and came to me. He placed his warm hands on my arms as I looked away.
"Maybe if you talk to me what really bothers you, things will get easier," he encouraged me gently.
I nodded, pulling up a rather tight smile at him.
"I saw my future," I began, swallowing thickly, "I will not just betray you. I'll betray your home. I'll kill Aragorn-" something in Legolas' eyes changed the moment I said this. Giving him a pleading look, I cringed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm trying hard to stop it. Believe me I do. But I'm so incredibly scared," I confessed, trembling slightly.
I felt Legolas stroke my arms comfortingly. "I understand. 'Tis as you should be. Be scared."
I smiled gratefully at him, feeling relieved that he understood, that he didn't hate me for this. For being so understanding while I was being hard to have around.
"Anyone will be scared. Especially you," he cooed, his slim fingers traced my cheek lightly. "After all, you can't defeat me. Because you're weak."
I frowned deeply, unable to comprehend his words.
"Wh-?"
Legolas grabbed me, pressing his body against me and held me in his arms like a tight vice. It wasn't like him. I looked up into his eyes with alarm. His eyes were still as beautiful as it ever be, bright and brilliant, but there was something off in them. It was like staring into a stranger's eyes.
"Love is a weakness," said Legolas in a sinister tone.
I gasped. A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly pierced my stomach. With another grunt, I felt something was pulled out of me and Legolas' arm slipped away. I stumbled back, looking at the bloody dagger that had just been embedded in my abdomen now being held in his hands.
I studied my abdomen from where the blood came spurting like scarlet spring out of me. I felt a rusty liquid in my mouth as I tried feebly to stop the bleeding in on my stomach with my hand. The last thing I felt was the deathly cold, and Legolas smiling down at me, his face ever changing as he waited for me to die.
'Who are you?' I asked him with my eyes.
Legolas smiled, then his ever changing face finally came to a stop, revealing a woman with an unparalleled beauty about her-and malice.
So beautiful. So terrible.
She smiled down at me as I bled to death. Everything about her mirrored mine, all except her black obsidian eyes.
"I'm your better half," I heard myself saying back to me, her voice sultry and comforting, yet the cruelty in her eyes reflected the malice and evil- the essence of what she truly made of.
I woke up with a scream. By the time I caught my surroundings, I was already standing, my trembling hands holding my dagger unsteadily. I pointed out to every direction, searching wildly for the enemy.
She was suddenly everywhere I look, staring at me while wearing my smile conveniently. Bewildered, I threw my dagger towards her direction, but she disappeared, only to show up at another corner of the room.
Now angered, I threw everything I could towards her direction to no avail. She played me, taunting me with her presence. Even as I looked in the mirror, she was there.
Furiously I grabbed on a wooden chair and smashed it towards the mirror with a loud clang. I watched as it crashed and shattered into shredded glass on the floor, the glass shattering sound echoed in my ears.
I backed away, ignoring the pounding in my head or the way my chest heaved for air. My eyes began to water and I felt myself trembling with a frustrated anger. I still could feel her presence here.
"Leave me alone," I yelled.
My back hit the wall on the corner of the room. Now that I finally be able to take in everything, I realized that I was dreaming. But at its wake, I had lost control and destroyed everything in the room. Feathers from my pillows are floating about in the air. My mirror, my chair were destroyed-I destroyed everything. It was a mess.
I was a mess.
I slid down, burying my shaking hands in my hair. I stared emptily at the ruins that was once my room.
What have I done?
I buried my face on my knees, pulling my hair harder in a feeble effort to ease the pounding on my head.
The sounds of her voice still rang all around me, making me shudder. Another loud sound of a door burst open made me flinch. Overpowered by adrenaline, I snapped my head and pointed my knife at the intruder, ready to attack-only then to realize that I was pointing my blade to Aragorn.
My heart sank when I saw the ranger's eyes on me warily. Then I saw how baffled he was when he took in the destruction that I've caused.
"Sara..." he trailed, lost for words as he took a couple steps inside my room.
Then another person came into view, his electric blue eyes wide and wary as he looked around. Then his eyes were trained on me with an expression that I couldn't decipher.
Shit. I didn't know how to explain this to them.
I felt myself slumped, covering my face with my hands. For a moment I sank deeper, curled into a ball and wished hard enough for the earth to swallow me whole.
***
"This has gone too far, Sara," said Aragorn while Legolas draped his cloak over my shoulders. "You lost it. That is the last straw. You have to come clean to us."
I looked at the heir of Isildur and the rest of my friends who by far were giving me a tensed but worried look. Gimli gave me an encouraging nod and I thought about a certain wizard.
I was surprised to know that despite what he knows, Gandalf didn't tell them about the things that he knew. He wanted me to be the one who decides to tell the rest of the Fellowship members everything.
I felt Legolas put his comforting hand on my shoulder, his eyes warm and heavy with concern. But I couldn't bring myself to even think about telling all of them about this.
"It was just a dream and I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry but I'm alright. I can't-"
"Lass, that is not just some dream. You just made your room look like there was a hurricane in it. It is destroyed. That is not alright," huffed Gimli.
"I told you," said Legolas. "You should be talking to someone. Anyone. Now for the sake of your sanity and mine," pleaded the elf, kneeling on one feet to be at the same eyelevel as me. "Talk to us. We deserve to know."
"Let us help," added Aragorn, his steely grey eyes deep with wistfulness as he looked at me.
Having no fight in me left, I rubbed my face and sighed. And I told them everything. As I finished my part, the room seemed to be getting somehow colder; an eerie atmosphere loomed over us at the revelation.
"Let me get this straight," said Merry, being the first to break the silence, "Not only we have war in front of us, but we also have a witch trying to make you evil and ruin everything?"
I cringed a bit at the way he put it, but the hobbit couldn't be more right. I nodded.
"A maia," I corrected.
"Gandalf can help us," said Legolas optimistically, "He's a maia too. He would know what to do when the dark queen's pawn is here."
"Gandalf did promise to help. But she won't be that easy to spot," I told them, "She can be anyone."
"We all know each other well," butted Aragorn with a forced optimism, "If any of us acted differently than we normally would, then we should talk about this to one another. We will catch her, Sara."
"Don't you understand what I've been trying to tell you, Aragorn? She's basically a witch. You can't tell how she's going to infiltrate the Fellowship and then your life is on the line," I said with a cringe, the headache I had was getting worse, the tension behind my back seemed to tighten on my muscle. "I don't know how we'll be able to stop her... unless..."
I trailed, thinking hard. When I looked up, everyone was silent, waiting for me to finish my thoughts.
"...unless I leave," I finished.
I felt a collective bewilderment suddenly hung heavily in the air and out of the blue, everyone was talking at the same time.
"Nay!" protested Legolas. "You are not leaving!"
"You'll walk straight into their trap!"
"That is exactly what she wants!"
"Sauron has spies everywhere!"
"You won't last a week on your own!"
"You go out there and Sauron's army will capture you."
I watched them with a deep sigh, waiting for them to stop talking at the same time.
"Look. I can handle Sauron's spies and army. Ungol, I can't. She just needs to say a few words to wake the dark queen. I won't stand a chance with her," I confessed.
The whole room became silent.
"I really don't want to betray any of you. I don't want to be the one taking your life," I stressed the latter part to Aragorn who kept his eyes on me stubbornly. "But if Ungol arrives, there will be no way for me to stop her. It is almost impossible," I said dejectedly.
Aragorn was first to speak up. "As the leader of this Fellowship, I forbid you from leaving," he announced. I opened my mouth to object, but he held up his hand, "We don't leave a Fellowship member behind."
"We will protect you," said Legolas, offering me a wistful, encouraging smile. "No matter the cost."
"Aye, lass. We will. You said it is almost impossible-well what we have been doing has always been something that impossible, yet here we are. We can do this."
"You have a man, an elf, a dwarf and a hobbit to protect you," added Merry, giving me his cheeky smile, "We won't let that wretched creature get anywhere near you."
I looked at my friends' faces with a renewed amazement. How did they summon all that courage? Where did they get their strength?
"You still want me around, despite the risk?" I asked them softly, awed and humbled by the courage and loyalty that my companions showed me.
"It is a risk we are willing to take. We are family," replied Aragorn with a benevolent smile, "And family protects each other."
I saw Legolas looked at Aragorn's direction, his smile confident despite the bomb that I just dropped at them this late at night. Then he looked at me, giving me that reassuring smirk of his.
"What if Ungol comes with a form of someone not the member of the Fellowship?" I asked.
"I say we take turns to accompany the lassie," suggested Gimli. "That way we can always keep an eye on each other."
"I second that," confirmed Legolas.
Normally I would have protested, but this time I need someone to protect us from Ungol-from me. And the way I see it, this was the only way we could have a chance.
"A sound advice. Let it be done according to your suggestion, Gimli," said Aragorn.
I smiled softly at my friends. I felt my heartstrings tugged in my chest at the care and loyalty that my companions showed me tonight. I certainly didn't deserve it, yet they are what they are-honorable men.
"You have no idea how grateful and honored I feel to be around honorable people like all of you," I said softly, my smile growing.
"Likewise, m'lady," answered Merry with a mischief played in his eyes. I chuckled lightly.
"So if that's all..."
"Actually," I cut Aragorn, "Since I destroyed my room..."
"Do you mind the dwarf's snoring?" asked Legolas teasingly, making Gimli huffed in annoyance. Legolas looked to the leader of the Fellowship, "If she does, I assume we can make one more room in our sleeping quarters?"
Aragorn smiled. "There will always be a room for you, Sara."
***
"The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacon is lit!" exclaimed Estel after his abrupt entrance in the king's hall in Edoras.
"Gondor calls for aid," he added to Theoden King.
I squinted my eyes to look at the king. Deep down I was anxious to hear his response. The king paused for a moment before answering.
"Then Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim!"
The hall started to bustle as the king ordered his lieutenant to prepare the soldiers for Gondor's aid. Back in Helm's Deep we faced over ten thousand strong foes. But for Gondor-the mankind's last stand against Mordor, we will face even more treacherous foe than that.
"So it begins." I muttered absently under my breath, my hand resting on my belt where the vial was held secure. If we survive this war, it will bring me to Minas Tirith-the place where my fate will be decided.
I will get my revenge.
Unbeknownst to me, a certain elf heard my muttering and had been paying close attention to me.
The elf prince swallowed invisibly, his elven senses noticing the ever growing darkness that brewed from inside the only mortal woman in the room.
He noticed that the woman was every bit a warrior just as the rest of his companions. She knew well how to carry herself among the soldiers, warriors, leaders- even kings. She knew how to inflict fear and intimidation when needed be. And true, they would all be right to fear her, for she wore her mask well.
But the thing that she couldn't quite mask was her eyes. The lurking terror, the darkness behind that impenetrable gaze of hers. That same darkness that he couldn't shake off since Helm's Deep seemed to be growing more tangible around her. Always lingering in the air.
Legolas felt a great shame for having even the slightest nudge in his mind to get away from her-his instincts always told him to run. Run away as far as possible from her. Deep down the elf knew that the darkness she carried would bring him nothing good. But his heart had something else he couldn't deny, something stronger than his self-preservation instinct: love for the woman, and most of all- compassion.
Despite the elf's dark thoughts, there was another instinct that came with it. The need to protect her. If he had to, he would describe her as a rose. A creature of magnificent beauty and grace, yet tortured by the thorns that were now part of her.
For some, she was the wolf. The predator who preys upon the weak. But in Legolas' eyes, she was a sheep, pulled by the strings that forced her to wear that wolf clothing.
Sara, the tough woman, the wolf, was only skin deep. But inside, the sheep, the real Anastasia- he wondered what she would be like.
Pulling the sides of his lips up, he approached her. His light feet moved willingly towards the looming darkness. He smiled down at her and she returned his smile with one of her own. It was refreshing to the elf; sweet to look at. Suddenly he didn't even mind the darkness- only as long as he could see that smile over and over.
***
[Author's Note: I admit the purpose of this chapter is to get you that feeling, that idea that whatever coming her way is close. Do you feel that or no? Do you feel the ever growing darkness?
*in Darth Vader's voice* COME TO THE DARK SIDE *insert Darth Vader theme song here*
Let me know what you think of the chapter, whether I transferred the message well or not and what you think of Sara's current mentality/mental health. Full blown physiological analysis is totally welcome! Also let me know what you think of the transition between Sara's POV to Third Person's POV. Is it smooth enough?
One of my awesome readers have for the first time guessed the plot with his/her theory. Great job! And if any of you also have a theory about how the story might proceed, please let me know through PM because nooo spoiler hehehehe! If you guess right I will confirm it also through PM. Remember no spoilers for the other readers!!
If you enjoy the chapter please give a vote, leave opinion, critic or troll message via comment below and tata! See you at the next chapter, sexy readers! ♥️⭐🔥]