Due to Shizuo's insistence on walking to Shinra's place for the most part of their journey there, it was easy to say they arrived a little late. But that suited the blond just fine, knowing that it wouldn't be as awkward with everyone already being there. At least Izaya wouldn't be caught in any one-on-one interactions, especially one involving Shinra. Shizuo couldn't help but still be a little nervous over his little secret, knowing the doctor was just as trustworthy as his lover was sometimes. If it wasn't Celty, Shinra had no qualms over betraying one's trust for a good laugh. But Celty had helped Shizuo invite Izaya here, so it was unlikely the doctor would do anything that could possibly upset his lover. Looking down at the small man beside him, the blond frowned at the sight of his pale hand quivering ever so slightly. At the same time though, his trademark smirk never left his lips.
Shizuo sighed to himself.
Tonight will certainly be interesting.
Before he could say anything to possibly calm Izaya's nerves, the door was thrown open to reveal one happy underground doctor. "Shizuo! Glad you finally made it, my beloved Celty was getting worried!" He cheered a greeting, stepping aside to let them in.
The doctor threw a glance at Izaya and gave him a grin, which the informant returned proudly. "Izaya, I wish I could say it was good to see you as well!" He smiled, his voice the same as it had been with Shizuo.
"Ah, the same goes for me. I was enjoying my time in Ikebukuro before your face popped up." Izaya's words dripped with syrupy sarcasm, already having settled into his persona around others.
And that in itself made Shizuo's optimism crumble.
Izaya wasn't good at speaking to other people as himself, his carefully constructed walls were almost impossible to tear down and that led to him being cold to mostly everyone. He was an untrusting person, and he didn't have the strength to put himself out there. Orihara Izaya was a coward, through and through. His fear of being hurt emotionally outweighed any physical injury he could gain as a result of his personality.
Shizuo knew this well, having been the target of Izaya's wrath for most of his life.
But despite this, Izaya had let him in. Shizuo had been able to catch glimpses of the true man his lover was, and the person that was had the blond falling for him over and over again.
The true Izaya was a scaredy cat. He feared dogs and thunder, he got nervous talking to strangers, and he refused to look at any fish eyes. The true Izaya was intelligent beyond compare, but in a quirky sense. He had a knack for mythology, and he enjoyed poetry and documentaries on psychology. Humanity still fascinated, but the true Izaya held this fascination in a much more containable way than the Izaya he put on for show. The true Izaya was incredibly lonely, and he cared for the 'players' of his game more than he could put into words. Shizuo realized that the more Izaya hurt someone, the more it meant he enjoyed them. Because if he hurt them, then they would despise his very being. And that way, there was no possible chance of friendship ever forming between whatever player Izaya took an interest in and the informant himself. Izaya was safe from being hurt.
It was self destructive, and it would only hurt Izaya in the end.
Shizuo was determined to break Izaya out of those hellish walls.
And to do that, he had to get his lover to open up to others.
What better way to do that then have him attend a party with all of the raven's favorite players?
Taking his partner's hand, Shizuo nodded towards Shinra. "Thanks, we'll find a place to sit." He pulled Izaya into the doctor's house.
Shizuo could still feel Izaya's trembling fingers.
It had only been a half hour, and this already proved to be a disastrous idea on Shizuo's part.
When they'd first made it to the living room, the only warm welcome they'd received had been from Celty. Everyone else's smiles died off as they caught sight of the person standing beside Shizuo.
From that time on, things had only gotten worse and worse.
First, their lateness had meant most of the hot pot was gone. There was enough for two people, but Kida had taken a second helping after Togusa handed Shizuo his own bowl. The blond kid had walked right in front of Izaya, effectively taking his chance at trying some away in the blink of an eye. Togusa didn't seem to notice.
Shizuo had kept his cool, assuring his seemingly unaffected lover they could share his bowl together.
Izaya didn't reply to that.
When they went to find seats to sit down in, it became apparent there was only one more open. The rest had been taken up by other people, while Shinra splayed himself out over a loveseat with Celty beside him. The seat was right next to Tom, and his boss eagerly gestured for Shizuo to sit in it. Shizuo agreed, grabbing Izaya in his attempt to have him sit on his lap. They usually did that when eating at home, as Izaya always enjoyed being close to the blond.
It almost looked like Izaya was about to agree to Shizuo's offer despite his distaste for public affection. Shizuo guessed it was mostly because of how out of place the informant was feeling.
But then Shinra had to butt in once again and exclaim that the seat couldn't both of them sitting on it, so one would have to stand. Shizuo could feel one of his hands twitching, but he agreed and turned to give Izaya his seat.
By that time, the informant had already found himself a corner out of the way of everyone else to set up residence in. His hand had whipped out his phone, most likely texting a few of his clients.
Izaya always turned to work when he was stressed.
Shizuo gritted his teeth, about to go over and join him when Tom stopped him. It had been awhile since him and his boss had gotten a chance to speak freely, as there usually wasn't time at work. All of Shizuo's free time went to Izaya after that.
He'd begrudgingly given in, sitting down in his seat and participating in conversation with those around him. Shizuo would just speak with them for a bit, just to see how Vorona and Kadota were as well before heading back to his lover.
Shizuo chuckled as he watched Walker and Erika get into it over whether a certain anime character was tsundere or himedere, gulping down some more of his hot pot. He smiled as Anri quietly spoke with Mikado at the other table. It had been a great party, and he'd gotten a chance to speak with almost everyone he had been wanting to. The sun had gone down a little while earlier, and Shizuo was sure it had been two hours since arrival.
He'd attempted at getting Izaya out of that corner multiple times, but after three times of the informant saying he was busy with work, Shizuo gave up.
Shizuo supposed he was lucky this night hadn't turned into a shit fest between his friends and his boyfriend.
Of course, life always had to prove Shizuo wrong.
"Neee Izaya! Why areeee you even here? Parties are for fuuuun, you're just beeeing an ass and hiding here!" The sound of Shinra's drunken giggles had everyone turning to look over towards the informant's corner.
Shinra still had a half empty glass of wine in his hand, and Shizuo guessed he'd already gulped down four previously. The adults had brought out the alcohol earlier considering it was a weekend night, but many forgot how insanely low the doctor's tolerance was.
"Don't mind me, Mr. Drunkey Mc Drunk. I just happen to be an insanely busy person, that's what happens when you're wanted." Izaya smiled sweetly in response.
There were no crinkles near Izaya's eyes as he smiled, Shizuo noted.
"Youuuu, wanted? Only peerrrson who wants you is Shiizuooo." Shinra barked out some laughter, slapping Izaya on the back playfully.
"I meaaan...a-alll you doooo is sulk and mope and ruin the party! My corner might even grow musshhhrooms now cuz of you!"
Izaya frowned at that, placing his phone back in his pocket.
"If I'm not wanted maybe you shouldn't have invited me then, ne? You should just be thankful I came." Izaya stuck his tongue out, his words dripping with venom.
Shizuo's heart dropped.
"Inviiiited you? I didn't wannna! Shizuuooo just said he wouldn't cooome if you didn't. You should be thaaaankful someone loves your sorry ass." Shinra snorted, placing his hands on his lips.
The party was silent save for Kida's muffled laughter.
Red eyes glanced over at dark brown ones, taking note of the guilty light in them.
And then, the informant headed for the door.
"If I'm not wanted, then I'll just leave. Should've said so in the first place." Izaya's voice had lost the lethal sweetness to it, now simply sounding devoid of anything.
Shizuo broke out of his trance as the front door shut again, running towards it desperately.
"Izaya, wait! Please!"
He stopped on the porch, staring at the empty street before him.
Izaya was gone.
...Hi 0-0
Remember me...?
Well, I'm back! After an entire year, I've finally returned!
Sorry for my absence ;-; I have no excuse. I just lost my passion for writing and instead lurked on AO3 reading fanfics secretly for a whole year.
But now I'm back~!
I'd love to chat, but I still have more fanfics I need to update.
Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter!