Chapter 15: Love You Better
"Elisa! Get the door please!" Harry yelled from wherever he was.
I groaned and stood up from my bed, closing my laptop. I don't understand why he couldn't get the door. I mean, it is his house, not mine.
I made my way to the front door and looked out the peephole, to make sure it wasn't a crazed fan. To my surprise, it was a fan, a Harry Styles fan to be exact.
I sighed and then opened the door to the girl I've officially declared as my frienemy. Not a friend, but a threat, so I kept her around. They do say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, don't they?
"Hi!" I said, faking my happiness. "I love your outfit!" I compliment. So maybe that wasn't a lie but I did love her floral printed summer dress and white flats.
“Thanks! I just bought it!” She said happily referring to her dress. “You’re hair looks really cute braids!”
I smiled a real smile not a fake smile. “Thanks!” I let her in and she sat on the couch when I went to get Harry.
I walked down the hall to Harry’s room. The last time I walked to his room when she was here, they were getting… acquainted. I cringed at the memory and my stomach turned. I felt my heart shatter to pieces for the first time a week ago.
"Haz, your friend is here," I told him as I stood in the doorway of his room. He was looking at himself in the mirror and Louis was stretched out on his back, holding his phone up, playing around on it.
Harry grinned at me. "You never call me anything buy Harry," he pointed out.
I shrugged. "I guess I decided to mix it up a little."
His grin turned into a smirk and he fixed the collar on his dark blue polo shirt. “And she’s not just a friend, El,” he said as he walked passed me.
I swear he was trying to make me even more jealous, than I already am, on purpose. I rolled my eyes and went back to my room. I closed the door so I wouldn’t have to hear their happiness.
I went back on my laptop and clicked around as I waited for Zayn. He had to go do something in the studio, so he was coming later. But still while Kayla was going to be here. Therefore, as I waited, I went on Twitter, Tumblr, and all other social networking sites teenagers like. Pictures of Harry and I kept appearing on my timeline and dashboard. They were taunting me.
After I got angry enough, I opened up my notepad on my computer. I started typing away like a maniac. I titled the page Reasons Why I Can Love Him Better.
I tapped on the keys, writing out reasons why I was better. I mean, it’s obvious. For starters, I’ve known him longer. That’s important, right? That means I know more about him personally than she does. However, she may know just as much, if she’s a crazed obsessive fan. But since I know him personally, I’ve seen almost every side of him. I’ve seen his sensitive side, I’ve seen him when his pissed, when he’s happy, when he’s drunk (although he doesn’t really get wasted, wasted a lot), I’ve seen the way he acts with his family, the way he treats his mother, the way he acts around little kids, and the way he and Louis really are together.
I continued writing out the second reason. I don’t just love him because he’s in One Direction. I don’t think of him as “One Direction’s Harry Styles.” I think of him as my idiot brother's best friend. That’s better than what she must think of him. She probably thought of him as the huge pop star that he is. I mean, it makes sense. If I dated a huge celebrity, I wouldn’t just think of him as my boyfriend. I would also think of him as the massive thing that he is. But with Harry, it’s different.
I don’t think of him as a huge celebrity because I knew him before he had his ego and fans. I met him before they made it to the live shows and they were on the TV. I knew him before the whole UK and Ireland did. I met him in the time before they went to judges’ houses. I knew him before everybody loved his famous curly locks and green eyes.
Number three. Why else am I better for him? I sat and thought for a minute. Well, personality wise, we are pretty similar. We have the same sense of humor, which is always good. He's hot, yet also adorable, like me. Not to sound self-absorbed or anything. He doesn't really care what people think of him, except on rare occasions. I'm the same way. Hmm... What else?
"Number four," I mumbled to myself as I typed it out.
He's one of the only people who I've cried and laughed over. The only other person was Zayn and maybe one of those guys I've date. What was his name? I think it was Justin? Whatever. I don't even remember.
But it was true. My feelings for Zayn were almost as strong as my current ones for Harry. I think if Zayn and I were to have kissed when I did, well, was convinced I was in love with him, I'd probably be really dating him now and not even be in this whole situation.
I don't know what it was but I did feel the same way about Zayn. I don't know why I never told him. I think I was scared of his reaction because he was dating Melinda and he's one of my brother's best friends. And, on top of that, one of my best friends. However, like Niall said, if we had gone out and broken up, I wouldn't be able to be his shoulder anymore. The one to comfort him when something bad happened. Like all the times he called me crying about their latest break up. I was always there for him and even though I swore to myself I would've been so much better for him but, deep down inside, I think I knew I couldn't be.
He's the only person I feel comfortable enough to just pour my heart out to because I know he won't judge me or try and tell me I'm wrong; nothing like that. He will just sit and listen, taking it all in and at the end, he gives me advice, but only if I ask. But most of the time he'd tell me to listen to my heart, which always got me angry because I wanted to be told what to do. Nevertheless, looking back, everything always fell into place.
However, I mean, emotionally, we are the same, Zayn and I. I think that's why we get along so well and tell each other the things we do. I mean, we're both very to ourselves. If we ever dated, I only imagine if one of us were to get hurt, I think we would both go into some emotional overload.
Although, I highly doubt that would ever happen. Zayn's a sweetheart and always looked out for "his girls" and I was one of them. It was a mixture of his sisters, best friends and girlfriends, ex’s and current. I know it sounds somewhat weird to still look out for his ex-girlfriends but he explained it to me once. He only dates the people he feels may possibly be the one. So, every girl he's dated he's had a strong connection with, so when they break up, he's usually devastated. So even though his heart would be sore, he would still stop all the rumors and clear everything up, so that he and she would be protected.
It's safe to say, Zayn is like my human diary and pretty much my perfect guy. But I've realized now, I don't want perfect. I don't want that feeling of security I felt with Zayn. I wanted to feel the rush I got with Harry. To be honest, even when I caught him last week, I don't know what it was, but I felt kind of a high. Well, more like a fighting urge to get him back. When Zayn goes off about Melinda, I don't get that feeling. Zayn's more of my safety blanket. I mean, even when I kiss him, it feels right but too right, if that makes sense. But when I kiss Harry, it feels so wrong that it's right.
I should add that to the list. Harry likes to kiss me as if we're dying and never going to see each other again. How much do you want to bet he doesn't kiss her like that? Because I mean, unless he can fake that much, what would you even call it? Passion? Heat? Dare I say that four-letter word? Because I mean, I highly doubt anybody could fake that feeling, even if you're a really good actor.
As I started to type out number six, my phone went off. Zayn was calling.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hello? You okay, babe?" He asked.
I smiled. "I'm fine, Zayn."
"Good. Well, I should be there soon. I just got out and Niall's with me, so of course he's hungry," he said. "Do you want anything? Food or anything?"
"No, I ate, but thanks," I said politely.
"What about Harry and Lou?"
I looked at my door. To ask or not to ask, that was the question.
"I'll ask Louis but I'm not asking Harry," I told Zayn through the phone.
I heard him chuckle. "Why not Harry?"
"She's here."
I heard Zayn sigh. "Do you know what they're doing?" he asked.
"I don't know and I don't want to."
"Alright," he breathed. "I'll be there soon. Just stay locked in your room, like you probably already are."
"Didn't plan on leaving, Zayn. I'm very occupied, actually.”
“Doing what?" he asked curiously.
"I'm making a list," I said proudly.
"Of what?"
"Reasons why I'm better for him."
"What are you going to do with it when you're done?"
I paused. I hadn't thought that far ahead. "I don't really know..."
"Send it to him," Zayn suggested.
"You're obviously metal, Zayn."
"Why? What's the worst that could happen?"
I groaned. "Why is it that you and everybody else think that if I just tell him then everything would be happy and dandy and we'd hold hands and skip off to fairytale land?"
Zayn's laugh went through the phone. "Well, El, I don't what to tell you."
"You're not going to tell me to listen to my heart?"
I could hear his smile. "Fine. Listen to your heart."
"My heart says he has a girlfriend," I mumbled.
"For now he does."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"I told you I was going to help you get him back." I heard shuffling and then what sounded like Niall whining.
I laughed to myself. "You alright there?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah," Zayn mumbled. "Nialler, just one second, okay buddy?"
"Oh, Niall knows about us and so does Frankie and Michelle."
"I know, he told me," Zayn said. "Anyway, what are you going to do with your list?"
"I don't know..." I sighed.
"Well, when you're done, send it to me and when I get there, we'll figure out a plan from there. Sound good, babe?"
"Okay, I will," I agreed. "See you in a little bit."
"Bye, babe," he said before hanging up.
So back to the list. Number six. We have a cute relationship. It was something like a cute elementary school relationship. We tease each other, yet we get along swimmingly. We would be those kids fighting in the sand box but sharing our cookies at snack time.
Number seven. He picked me to fake date. He refused to do a secret audition or get anybody else, from what Louis’ told me. He wanted me. So, obviously he likes me or at least trusts me to keep the secret of us fake dating.
Trust.
We trust each other. That will be number eight. Trust is the first thing you need in a relationship. I mean, how can they really trust each other? They both cheated with each other. I know even if I knew he loved me, I would always have that suspicion he may go off and cheat with another girl.
I sighed. But he told me he wouldn’t go off with another girl on Friday and he did. But I did tell him I didn’t care. But he should have read between the lines and realized I didn’t want him to go off with anybody else. I took a deep breath. He lied and I still trust him. What the hell is wrong with me? Ugh, I need Zayn here now.
I pushed the thought of Harry betraying my trust to the side and continued my list. Number nine. We’ve been friends for almost two years. He’s one of my best friends. We can be lovers and friends and in the end, that’s better right?
Number ten. Kayla is really pretty, there’s no denying that. With her straight, long blonde hair and bright green eyes, her and Harry make an attractive couple, no doubt about it. She’s way pretty than me and yeah, maybe she’s better for him than I am. But you know what?
I took a deep breath and typed out my final reason. If he is happy with her, I’m not going to ruin or take away his happiness. Even if were not meant to be, all I want is for him to be happy.
I sighed and read over my list and then changed the title.
Ten Reasons Why I Can Love Him Better.
1. I’ve know him longer. I’ve seen every side of him and I still love him. And I guarantee I will love ever imperfection from here to come.
2. He’s just Harry Styles, NOT the award winning, hot, curly haired, green-eyed, international superstar, Harry Styles form pop sensation One Direction.
3. Our personalities are compatible. Same sense of humor, things of that nature.
4. He’s one of the only guys I’ve had feelings for who can make me cry and then laugh.
5. When we kiss, fireworks go off and my heart explodes.
6. We have a cute, schoolboy and schoolgirl love.
7. He picked me, not her.
8. We trust each other.
9. We’ve been friends, before all of this.
10. Despite everything listed above, I just want him to be happy.
After I finished, I copied and pasted the list into an e-mail to Zayn and hit the send button. I took a deep breath. I felt better. Zayn was going to help me when he got here. He’ll help me figure everything out.
I sat, staring at the list for a minute. Maybe I should- no, maybe I shouldn’t.
What’s the harm?
I clicked around on the internet and searched through my contacts. I stopped at one contact. Harry’s old e-mail.
I grabbed my phone and started a new text message.
“This girl on Twitter keeps harassing me for your e-mail. What was your old one again? I’d give her the one you use now but I don’t want her spamming you…”
I smiled. Perfect, he’ll never suspect a thing. I sent the text message to Harry and minutes late, he replied.
“Old one is: H_Styles94@gmail.com .x”
I smirked. It was the right one. I had the right old one. Thank God, I checked before. I quickly replied with, “Thanks poo.”
I threw my phone to the side, copied, and pasted the same list into an e-mail to Harry’s old one, which I know he never checks. I hit send and fell back onto the pillows. There. I sent it too him. Although, he’ll never see it. But, it’s progress. I felt proud of myself.
I saved the list to my laptop and closed out of the document. I went back to surfing the internet as the doorbell rang. I hope that it’s Zayn.
I heard the door open and muffled talking. Seconds later, my door opened and Zayn walked in and closed the door behind him.
I smiled. “Hi,” I greeted happily.
“I got your list,” he said as he took of his jacket. I nodded as he sat down in front of me. He stared at me and shook his head.
“What?” I asked.
“Why did you tell me you felt like that earlier so we could’ve prevented that,” he paused and pointed to the door, talking about Harry and Kayla, “from happening?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Because I didn’t realize how real they were until I saw them together and it was too late…”
Zayn shook his head. “Elisa, you need to tell him,” he said with a sigh. “Babe, you really love him.”
“But he’s with her,” I whined. “He obviously likes her. Did you not read number ten?”
“Yeah, I read all ten things and I agree with you but you have to tell him before its too late, babe.”
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same about me?” I asked him. “Then what?”
“Then we’ll figure it out from there.”
“But I don’t want to tell him.”
“Then what do you want to do?”
“I want to cry and eat ice cream,” I said with a sigh.
Zayn frowned and hugged me. “It’s going to be okay, I promise we’ll fix this. Okay babe?” he said as he pulled away. “Don’t cry,” he whispered as he brushed away my tears. I sniffled. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
He smiled at me. “Want to go make Harry jealous?” he asked. I smiled and nodded. “C’mon.” He stood up and held his hand out. He kissed my forehead and led me out of the room.
Harry, Kayla and Louis were all sitting around the TV, watching a movie. Harry had his arm around her and she was snuggled into his side.
“Mind if we join you?” Zayn asked as he pulled me along. We sat next to Louis. “What are you watching?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Harry said dryly.
{Harry’s POV}
“I’m going to go say hi to Niall,” I said about and hour after Kayla left. The three of them nodded and I left, walking across the hall.
Niall was spread out across the couch, eating from a bag of popcorn. He grinned when he saw me. “I heard Kayla was over today.”
I groaned and sat across from him. “Yeah, she was.”
“What’s wrong?” Niall asked as he sat up.
“What does she see in him?” I asked.
Niall looked confused. “See in whom? Who are you talking about?”
“Elisa,” I said with a sigh. “Why is she dating Zayn?”
“Because she likes him…”
“But I could’ve sworn she liked me.”
“Well, you’ll never know because you’re with Kayla,” he said. “Why are you dating Kayla? I though you loved El?”
I sighed. “I do but she said that she was with Zayn first so I had to say Kayla and I were dating. I didn’t want to.”
“Then why did you sleep with her?” Niall asked.
“Because she went off to Zayn.”
“Because you hurt her, Harry,” Niall said as if it was obvious.
“No!” I argued. “I tried to get her but she ran off.”
Niall sighed and put the bag of popcorn on the table. “She started crying, right?” He asked and I nodded. “You hurt her and she goes to Zayn for everything, you know that.”
“But why is she dating him? I’m better for her.”
“Why?” Niall asked. “You hurt her, Harry.”
“But, I mean,” I stopped and sighed. “I love her. I’m in love with her, isn’t that better? I bet he’s just with her because he’s comforting her.”
“And if he’s not? What if he actually does like her?” he asked.
“He can’t! I mean, I’m supposed to be with her! That’s why we are fake dating! I’m the one who she belongs with Niall! I’m the one protecting her from all the hate and the paparazzi and the press and everything! I held her while she was crying! Where was Zayn then? Huh? Because he wasn’t there then,” I yelled.
I was so…frustrated. Why is she even dating him? Yeah, so what they’re best friends, what does that matter? So what we’re not as close as them. So we don’t tell each other everything. I’m still better for her. I can treat her better. If she were with me, she would be my princess.
“If you love her so much, why did you go off with Kayla?” Niall asked.
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter anymore, I can’t take it back.”
“You can break up with her and tell El how you feel,” Niall suggested.
I shook my head frantically. “Why? So she can think I’m lying? I went with Kayla and not her. I basically cheated on her Niall!”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you…”
“I should be with her. I can love her better but she won’t care,” I sighed and stood up. “Thanks for listening Niall.”
“Isn’t Zayn still over there?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, they’re over there holding hands and kissing and hugging and cuddling.”
Niall chuckled. “Jealous?”
“No,” I scoffed. I started towards the door and opened it. I stopped and turned around. “If I killed him for touching her, do you think management would be mad?”
Niall laughed. “Just a little bit, mate.”
I groaned and walked across the hall. I’m better for her.
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So that list huh? She sent it to Zayn and Harry's old e-mail? Too bad he doesn't check that...
So you got some insight on how El & Zayn really are together and how Harry wants to have his head...
So now who do you think she's better with? Zayn who would never hurt her or Harry who just doesn't know how to do anything but hurt her?
AND! I need to tell you all this, I promise you that Kayla isn't that bad. I know you're all like "NO SHE STOLE HARRY AWAY FOR ELISA!" but! In the end, she's useful. I promise. In the end, you just may love her and I'll say, duuh, I told you soo. Lol anyway.
Next chapter is called "Trying" like that song by Conor Maynard...
So, Comment, vote and fan away!
WAIT BEFORE I GO. OMG HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY 1D. MY BABIES HAVE GROWN SO FAST FROM THE BOYS ON THE STAIRS. And then a preview of Conor Maynard's new album was released. It's been such an emotional day for my fan girl heart.
Yeah, so comment and vote!(:
♥