This week felt like hell.
Fighting with your best friend was hard. Giving each other the silent treatment was hard. Pretending the other wasn’t a few feet away from you was hard. The harder part was feeling the ache, the emptiness, the betrayal that you two actually treated each other like that.
Leon was torn. He decided to keep his distance from the both of us as much as possible because if we so much see him with the other, we’d go off at him.
Noah and Callum were still angry at each other. It was obvious. Sometimes, they’d purposely shove each other when they walked by the other.
It was Friday night and I was drowning in my misery. Although I found it extremely corny, I was thankful that Noah was trying to keep me as optimistic as possible throughout the week. He’d buy me food, endure chick flicks with me, get me pizza, and massage my feet without me bossing him to do so. However, what he was attempting to do now was extremely out of his character.
“You’re going to sing to me?” I asked with wide eyes, watching as he got off the couch and sat at my grandfather’s piano. “This is a joke right?”
Evan wasn’t home so I invited Noah over, knowing full well Maia would be grossed out by the mere sight of us remotely standing next to each other. Evan didn’t even know about my relationship with Noah although it has been a month and a half. Evan hated the fact that I was his classmate alone. I felt bad, but Noah was too much to let go of just because my brother didn’t accept him.
Noah pushed his sleeves up his muscular arm and smirked. “Can’t I do something nice for you without you thinking it’s a joke?”
“I’m not falling for that again, Noah Callaway. When you invited me over to your house for a “date”, you and Maia completely drenched me because you thought playing water guns without my consent was a perfect date.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Noah faked a frown, but amusement swam in his blue irises. He ended up chuckling. “Gosh, you screamed funny! Like a dying cat.”
“Because I was cold and wet!”
“I could think of another way to make you scream … and another way to get you wet,” Noah suggested with a smirk.
I threw the pillow at him and rolled my eyes, already used to his numerous innuendos. “Just get going, lover boy.”
Noah smiled mischievously. “With what? Singing or getting you wet?”
“I swear, if you don’t sing soon, you’ll never get the chance to make me wet … ever,” I threatened with hitched eyebrows.
“Okay, fine! Fine!” Noah shook his head, trying to rid himself of the amused smile on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck, a tinge of pink coloring his cheeks. I stayed silent as I inwardly laughed at his nervousness. “Okay, so I’m going to sing and I know this song is cheesy, but it’s how I feel about you. Fuck, I’m such a wuss. I really mean every single thing I’m about to sing.”
Noah looked straight at me, but I stayed silent. “Okay, don’t laugh at me. I’m not the best singer.”
Expecting to hear a tone deaf rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star – one of the easiest songs played on piano, I prepared myself. However, what I didn’t prepare myself one bit for was the beautiful melody playing because his fingers moved swiftly across the keys. Without You by David Guetta, featuring Usher filled my ears and caused my whole body to be covered with goose bumps.
“I can’t win, I can’t reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you,” Noah sang in a voice so deep and rich, so enticing, so beautiful, so indescribable that my mouth flew open in shock.
“I won’t run, I won’t fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can’t rest, I can’t fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you.” His eyes held me captive, his smooth voice flowing through my body like a river. It felt like a dream, having him stare at me like I was the only girl in the world.
I recalled what he had just said to me prior to singing. He meant every single word he was singing. And by the way he singing it with so much passion and emotion, I knew, from the bottom of my heart, he meant what he sang from the bottom of his heart.
“Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without … you.” Perfect pitch, perfect note, perfect everything.
“Can’t erase, so I’ll take blame
But I can’t accept that we’re estranged
Without you, without you
I can’t quit now, this can’t be right
I can’t take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you.
I won’t soar, I won’t climb
If you’re not here, I’m paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can’t look, I’m so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you
Oh oh oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without … you
I am lost, I am vain
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without … you.”
Once Noah finished singing and playing beautifully, my face was pathetically wet with tears. I laughed in embarrassment, wiping my face with my shirt sleeve. I just couldn’t help it. I felt every word he sang, heard the emotion in his voice.
I’ve never meant so much to a boy.
I’ve never felt this much for a boy.
“Whoa,” Noah said, kneeling in front of me and wiping the tears off my face with the pad of his thumbs. “Why are you crying? Were you going to break up with me?”
“What?” I laughed, throwing my head back. “Why would I break up with you? You’re … perfect.”
Noah shook his head with an amused smile. “Did you hit your head or are you finally catching up to your hair color? I’m nowhere near perfect.”
“I thought you didn’t play piano? You complained about Mary Had a Little Lamb!” I cried, ignoring his statement. “God! You even sing so perfect!
Noah looked down and sat beside me. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Music was something I did with Nick. I was angry at the time because it just reminded me of him. I promised myself I wouldn’t do music anymore because I felt that I would be a shame to his memory. But I realized that it would’ve been a shame for me to stop playing. I should play for him and for … you.”
I smiled, kissing his cheek. “Well, it was perfect. Every single thing about you is perfect. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
“You’re over exaggerating, don’t you think?” Noah whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing me closer to him.
“Maybe a little,” I managed to say before he kissed me.
I couldn’t help it, I kissed him heatedly, running my hands through his hair roughly. I felt him shiver underneath me as I brought both my legs on either side of him so I was straddling him. He groaned, gripping my thighs as I nibbled on his bottom lip. I felt his heartbeat quicken against my chest as I pressed against him.
Noah, Noah, Noah. He smelled so good. His soft touch was driving me insane. His skillful lips and the taste of him on my tongue made me lose control. He too was slowly losing it. I flushed as I felt his little friend … get excited.
His hands moved up my legs slowly, causing a fire to lick in my belly. I moaned when his cold hands went under my shirt and caressed my bare skin. When his fingers brushed against my bra clasps, I felt my core throbbing with need.
Did I just hear the door close?
I, too, did my own exploring. My hands went under his shirt and lightly traced the hint of his glorious abs. I dug my nails into his skin, causing him to shiver, when he kissed feverishly down my neck. Gosh, this felt too –
“What the fuck, Emma?” I heard a familiar voice yell.
My heart literally jumped out of my chest as I scrambled off of Noah and straightened my shirt. Moving my hair out of my face, I flushed when my eyes landed on my angry brother and a surprised Lauren. I was having trouble trying to make sense of what deep trouble I was in, looking at my brother in fear. Noah stood up, but kept his distance from me with an equal look of apprehension displayed on his face.
“Ev-Evan, I thought you weren’t coming back until midnight?” I asked with a stutter.
Evan dropped the plastic bag in his hand. “Well, the movie was sold out and we decided to have dinner here instead. I’m fucking glad we came home early! When were you going to tell me you were having intimate relationships with the one guy I told you to stay away from?”
“Calm down, Ev,” Lauren said when she saw my bottom lip tremble and tried to pry him off my back.
“Calm down? Hell no! I am not going to calm down!” Evan said, his brown eyes blazing with anger. His hands balled up in fists besides him as he looked at Noah. “Go home. Now. And stay the fuck away from my sister.”
“What? No!” I cried, stopping Noah from leaving the house. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you about him! You wouldn’t even consider – “
“Of course I wouldn’t even consider it if you asked me! How many times did I tell you that I wanted you to stay away from him? He’s nothing but trouble!”
By now, I was sobbing hysterically. “Evan, I – I really like – “
“I can’t believe you went behind my back like this, Emma!”
“Evan, please try to under – “
Evan shook his head. “I don’t want you seeing him again after this, you understand?”
“Evan, listen to me!” I screamed over his loud voice. My hands were trembling as they yearned for something to grip – something to help me stay in control. I was losing it. I was going crazy. “You won’t even listen to me, Evan! I like him, Ev, a lot! He’s not what you think he is!”
“I know full well what he is,” Evan spat, eyeing Noah in disgust.
Noah looked down at my trembling hands and looked torn. He looked back and forth between my brother and I. Ignoring everything my brother had just said about him and the fear he obviously had, he placed his hand in mine and finally, I had something to grip onto to keep my control.
Evan’s eyes widened with rage. He was about to storm towards Noah with his fists already up, but Lauren stepped in front of him and tried her best to push him back.
“Evan, relax! Noah is not a bad kid!” Lauren cried, placing her hands on his shoulders.
“Get your hands off my sister!” Evan yelled at Noah. I gripped Noah’s hand harder. “You’re just going to hurt her. You’re bad news to her.”
“Look,” Noah started calmly. “I’m not who you think you are. Emma is smart enough to know what’s good and bad for her – “
Evan laughed bitterly. “And you’re good for her? Jesus Christ, this is hilarious.”
“I’m just saying that she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”
“Yeah, I trusted her but look where that has led to,” my brother sneered.
“I’m not saying that I’m good enough for her. I never will be. But I can promise you that she means more to me than you think.”
“I’m not making promises with a criminal.”
Noah stayed silent, obviously hurt by what Evan had just said. This enraged me. I felt the sudden need to defend Noah. Although Evan was my brother, I was disappointed that he went that low. Evan knew he didn’t kill his brother, but he felt like Noah was nothing but trouble.
“I can’t believe you,” I scoffed between my sobs. “Never in my life would I have thought that my big brother would do wrong. But here you are, being wrong – “
Evan’s eyes widened. “And how am I being wrong?”
“Remember when you used to tell me ‘don’t hate somebody if you have nothing to hate them for’? Well, you’re contradicting a statement you’ve taught me all my life. You don’t even know Noah, but you don’t like him.”
“Are you taking his side over mine?”
“I’m taking nobody’s side. I’m taking my own. You need to respect my decisions and trust me, Evan.”
“I’m not trusting you with him, Emma!”
“Well, then,” I shrugged, walking out of the living area and pulling Noah along.
Noah looked behind him in fear and whispered, “What the hell are you doing, Emmy?”
“Emma, where are you going?” Evan asked angrily, storming towards us.
Lauren jumped in front of him to push him back. I stopped in my tracks and looked at him with equal anger.
“I’ll come home when you learn to respect me and my choices,” I said, surprisingly strong although I was hurting on the inside.
▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼
I still couldn’t register that I had left my home – my brother over an argument. I wasn’t even sure if it was the right thing or the wrong thing to do. However, I did know I did it for me.
Was it selfish?
Yes, damn it. I felt like the most selfish person right now – sleeping in Noah’s house, using the Callaway’s things, eating Natalia’s food, etc. If they had an award for the most selfish, I’d win by a landslide.
It was harder knowing I wasn’t only arguing with my brother, but with Paige as well. When I cried, she’d be the first person to call. But now that we weren’t on speaking terms, I found it more difficult to deal with my distress more than ever. If anything, this realization made me even more depressed.
“Hey, Emma, if you want to just sleep in here with Noah, I’ll get you an extra blanket. I trust you,” Natalia said in the doorway with a big smile on her face. I inwardly groaned, wishing that I would be that trustworthy in Evan’s eyes. “Just no funny business.”
I forced a smile onto my face and wiped a tear that lingered on my cheek. “Uh, sure. Thank you, Natalia.”
Natalia squeezed my shoulder as a gesture of comfort before leaving the room. Noah wasn’t in the room, running some errands his mother had asked him to do. It was quiet and I hated that I had to hear my sniffles. I had turned off my phone because I would cry harder every time I received an angry voicemail from Evan or a text demanding that I come home. There was absolutely no sound.
And then the door opened and the drama queen strutted in.
Her smile was big as she held a tub of chocolate ice cream in one arm and two spoons in her hand. She hopped onto the bed. When I didn’t say anything to her after seconds of awkward staring, she removed the lid of the ice cream tub and began spooning chocolate heaven into her mouth.
“Mmm,” she mumbled, licking her upper lip. She rolled her eyes at my incessant stare. “Are you just going to lie there and cry or are you going to eat this ice cream with me?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that came next. “Hand me a spoon.”
The chocolate melted on my tongue blissfully. Maia smiled brightly. “See, ice cream takes away all the pain.”
I nodded, although it was Maia who actually made me forget for a couple of seconds and not the ice cream. “Thanks, Mai.”
Before Maia could respond, the door opened slowly and the person who stepped in caused me to drop my spoon in surprise. Although I made Noah’s sheets dirty with ice cream, that was the least of my worries. She walked in with a concerned look on her pretty face.
Maia groaned at the new person in the room. “Ugh, Taco.”
Soon, my tears rolled down my cheek like a never ending faucet because the mere sight of Paige comforted me. She sighed, wrapping her arms around me tightly. I cried into the crook of her neck, staining her shirt with my tears.
“Shh,” she whispered in my ear, smoothing out my hair. “Everything will be all right, Ems.”
“I’m sorry,” I choked. “I’m so sorry, Paige.”
I felt water drip onto my shirt and I knew Paige was crying as well. “I’m sorry too, Ems.”
“Holy shit,” Callum muttered when he walked into the room. He dropped a duffel bag from his shoulders, causing a loud thud to echo off the walls of the room. “That bag was freaking heavy, What’d you put in there? Your whole shoe closet?”
“You need to go to the gym, Campbell,” Leon answered, causing Noah and Callum to join in his laughter.
Although I was slightly confused as to why everyone was here and suddenly got along, I laughed along with my friends. Callum shoved Leon’s shoulder, but chuckled anyways.
Callum flopped onto the bean bag. “Emma, we better start doing something fun instead of watching you cry because I sacrificed my sleep for this!”
“Thank you, Noah!” Paige groaned after Noah smacked his best friend’s head.
Apparently, Noah had called Leon and told him the news. Leon shared it with Paige and Callum who were more than concerned over my well being. They rushed over here to cheer me up with some board games and food.
Bunking with Paige was actually the last idea that came into mind. Her cousins who just immigrated into our country are staying with her until their house is completed. Because her family was already big, there was no space for an extra person. She felt guilty about this, but had bought me some of her clothes and shoes to borrow just in case I didn’t return home anytime soon.
Which I prayed to the heavens wouldn’t be true.
Evan and I would be just fine tomorrow morning.
Right?