Joanna
"I was thinking I'd come over tonight, if that works for you," I said into my phone. It had only been four days since I'd seen Shawn last, but I needed some time with him. He was a little addictive.
Shawn hesitated before answering. "Tonight's not a great night. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Oh, of course. I only suggested tonight since I have parent meetings before school on Thursday and Friday, so those days will be crazy, and I'll need my sleep. We can just skip meeting up at night this week. I'll see you Friday, right?"
Shawn and the kids left for their country house on Saturday mornings for their weekends away, so Fridays were my night to see him.
"I'm sorry, Jo. I hate to wait until Friday to see you, but like I said, tonight's no good," he said apologetically.
My gut told me this had something to do with his wife.
"Was today a special day for you and Mallory?" I asked, knowing that I might be overstepping.
He sighed into the phone, and I was pretty sure he was running his free hand through his hair based on how he always seemed to do that when he was at a loss for words.
"Forget I asked," I said quickly. "Call me tomorrow. Bye!" I then hung up.
I'd definitely overstepped. Dammit.
I was about to go start cooking my dinner when I heard 'Nervous' playing on my phone. It was Shawn's assigned ringtone.
"Hi," I said as I accepted the call.
"You hung up too fast. Are you mad at me?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
"No! Not at all. I just feel like I crossed a line. I'm really sorry I asked about Mallory," I replied.
"You didn't cross a line, and I don't want us to have lines that can get crossed."
"I don't either, but I can see how my question might have been invasive. I'm sorry."
"Don't say you're sorry, hun. And yes, tonight is about Mal. It's the anniversary of the day we met. On this day each year, I like to spend some time looking at pictures and thinking about her. That's probably crazy, right?"
I felt a huge lump form in my throat. "It's not crazy at all. It's actually really lovely that you do that."
I meant that. It said so much about Shawn that he did this kind of thing. I felt the same way about the projected message he did on their anniversary. He loved her and wanted to pay tribute to that love.
But at the same time, it hurt a little. Our relationship was new and I had no idea where we were headed, but if things got really serious, his annual memorialization of his wife could be difficult for me. Maybe that made me petty. How could I be jealous of a dead person?
"How about this," Shawn said. "I'll see if Aaliyah and Alec can babysit for a couple hours on Wednesday or Thursday night. I'll say I'm going out for drinks, but I'll come visit you. That way it won't be really late and you'll get your sleep. If we have a drink, what I told Aaliyah won't be a lie."
"That seems like a lot of trouble for us to meet up. I hate to inconvenience them."
"I want to see you."
"I want to see you, too." This was an understatement.
"I'll call Aaliyah and will let you know if they are free. Okay?"
"Yes. I can make you dinner if it works out," I suggested.
"I'd love that."
A little while later, Shawn texted to tell me Aaliyah and Alec could babysit on Wednesday, which was just one day away.
The next day, after work, I stopped by the market to pick up some things for dinner. I'd decided to make chicken pad Thai. It wasn't hard to make, and I knew that Shawn liked Thai food.
When I got home, I put the groceries away and took a quick shower. Shawn wasn't coming over until later. He wanted to put the kids to bed before leaving. It meant a late dinner for us, but I understood why he wanted that time with Grace and Nolan.
Around 8:45, there was a knock at my door. I opened it and saw Shawn standing there. He had a huge smile on his face and held a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
He held the bright mixture of flowers out to me. When I reached for them, he snatched them back.
"You only get these on one condition," he said, grinning.
I put my hands on my hips. "What's that?"
"You come spend the weekend with us at the house."
I bit my lip.
"C'mon, Jo. You lived with us most of the summer. The kids won't think anything of it. I miss spending time with you," he said pleadingly.
"Okay, but only because those are gorgeous flowers," I said.
He handed them over to me and leaned in to give me a kiss. "Something smells great."
I lead him over to the table. "Pad Thai. It's ready, so have a seat and I'll serve it up after I put these in water."
I pulled a vase out of the cupboard and arranged the flowers before setting them on a side table in my living room. My little dining table was too small for the big bouquet and our place settings.
I served us each a bowl full of the spicy noodles.
"Wine? Beer?" I asked.
"I'd love a beer," he said as he hungrily eyed the food in front of him.
I grabbed two lagers and sat next to him. He dug into his dinner.
"That was incredible," he said after cleaning the plate. "I miss your cooking."
"I miss cooking with you."
He looked at me for a second before responding. "I'm looking forward to the day when we'll be cooking together regularly, because our relationship won't be a secret."
"Aren't we going to start dating officially next month?" I asked. "You don't have long to wait."
"Yup. I can't wait for you to openly be mine. I want our future together to begin."
My heart skipped a beat. We'd never really talked about the future beyond us going public. I had no idea how to respond. Did I want our relationship to keep progressing as it got more serious? Absolutely. Did I allow myself to even imagine that scenario for more than a split second? No. After getting burned by Evans, I was terrified of getting my hopes up.
"Can I get you more?" I asked, totally disregarding his statement.
A confused look crossed Shawn's face. "Um, yeah. I'd love some more."
He finished his seconds, and we did the dishes together. We then moved to the couch in my small living room. Shawn put an arm around me and pulled me close.
"I'm sorry if I what I said about us before bothered you," he said.
I looked up into his warm caramel colored eyes. "Talking about a future together scares me a little. I got hurt badly the last time I did that. I think that for now I need to go day to day."
He leaned forward and quickly kissed me. "I understand. I'm just really excited to have these feelings again. I'm probably getting ahead of myself."
I wanted to ask what feelings he meant, but before I could, he pulled me in for a deeper kiss. Soon we were in my bedroom. Unfortunately, not long after that I was kissing him goodbye at the door.
~~~~~~
Friday afternoon I was feeling pretty great. I had a weekend with Shawn and his wonderful children to look forward to and I'd finished my parent conferences.
These conferences were always a little stressful. Every year there were a couple parents who were so pushy academically. There was nothing worse than a mom or dad who tried to get you to say their 5 year old child was the brightest in the classroom. I shuddered to think what these types would be like when their offspring reached high school.
I'd seen Shawn in the hall on the day he was there for Nolan's conference. He was leaving as I was escorting the mom I was about to meet with into my room. He gave me a small wave and a wink after the mom was out of sight.
"Was that Shawn Mendes?" the mom asked as she took a seat across from me.
"Yes. His children go to school here. I taught his oldest a couple years ago."
"He never changes. Still as cute as ever. I wonder if he'll ever remarry."
"So let's talk about Catherine," I said, changing the topic to what we were there for.
It was now the end of the day and I was getting everything in order for Monday. My plans were complete, which was good since I didn't want to think about school this weekend.
"Knock knock," I heard a familiar voice say.
I looked up and saw Evans walk in my room. We saw each other occasionally, though we rarely talked. It was all just brief polite conversation as we passed in the corridor.
I stood up from my desk. "What's up?"
"I've been meaning to stop by and I keep chickening out," he said as he walked over to me.
I felt my anxiety level increase. Why was he here?
"Oh?" I said.
"I'm going to get right to the point," he said. "I was an idiot, Joanna. I love you. I want to marry you."
And with that, he pulled out a ring box and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond engagement ring.