Shawn
"So what's going on with you and Joanna?" my mom asked.
I'd been sleeping on the couch in the family room since I had a full house and the beds were all taken. My mom was up at an ungodly hour, and the noise she'd made in the kitchen woke me. I didn't expect this question as we sat on the patio drinking coffee and tea while the cinnamon roll dough she'd whipped up was rising in the kitchen.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, hoping my voice sounded both confused and innocent.
"Stop it, Shawn. I'm not blind. I've seen how you look at her when you don't think anyone's looking. You haven't looked at anyone like that since-"
I knew what her next word would be, but I didn't want to hear it, so I cut her off.
"We're good friends," I said. It wasn't a lie, technically.
She stared at me. Her eyes bore into me like tiny drills. I broke immediately.
I sighed. "Okay. Yes. Something's going on, but we want to keep it between us for now. It's a little soon after her break-up with Evans and mine with Brooke."
My mother's face lit up. "You're in love!"
"What? No. I mean, not yet. Maybe. Fuck. I don't know."
"You are! I could tell from how you looked at her, but your reaction now kind of proves it. Oh, honey! I'm so happy for you!" she said as she grabbed my hand.
"Don't celebrate yet. She isn't necessarily in love with me, too. It's only been a week."
"She's giving you the same looks. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Take your time."
"You like her, right?" I asked.
My mom smiled at me. "I've liked her ever since we met when Grace was in her class. She's a very special woman."
I had to agree with my mom about that. Joanna was special, and in just one week she'd found her way into my heart. She may have been there already, though. I wondered if history had repeated itself. Had I been slow to realize my feelings for Joanna just as I'd been with Mallory?
"I feel bad about dating Brooke for months when deep down I knew she wasn't the one," I said.
"She definitely wasn't the one. When you were with her, you always seemed a little uncomfortable. She was a lovely person, but you never had that vibe or electricity together. Your dad and I wondered how long it would take you to figure it out."
"I think I had to have that spark with Joanna to realize just how flat things were with Brooke. Which is kind of shitty, but I'm sure she'll find someone who loves her like I couldn't."
"How do you think the kids will take it?" my mom asked before taking a sip of her tea.
"They didn't like the idea of me dating Brooke, but they love Joanna, so I'm hoping they'll be happy about it. They're another reason we're easing into things pretty slowly."
"From what I've seen of her relationship with both Grace and Nolan, I think you'll be fine," she reassured me.
We sat in silence for awhile, enjoying our hot drinks as the birds sang their summer songs.
"It's okay, right? For me to fall in love again?" I asked.
"Shawn, it's more than okay. You know as well as I do that Mallory would want this for you. You're allowed to love again."
~~~~~~
"I've missed you," I said as I rolled off Joanna and pulled her into my arms.
We were back in Toronto. My parents had taken the kids to spend the night at their house, so they'd gone straight there from the house in the woods. Joanna and I had the condo to ourselves, and we were taking full advantage of the freedom.
"It was only a couple days since we last had sex," she said with a laugh.
We couldn't fool around over the weekend. The house was too crowded and there was too much of a risk of getting caught. It was funny how I'd gone years without sex, but now that I'd started back at it again, I was dying after 48 hours.
"It was a hard couple of days," I said as I stroked her back.
She scoffed. "I'll bet it was hard."
"You have such a dirty mind for a kindergarten teacher," I said with fake astonishment.
"Like that's not what you meant. You have the dirtier mind."
I smirked. She was right.
"When are we going to be able to do this once you move out?" I asked. "Are you going to show up at my place for a middle of the night hook up?"
"I guess I'll have to. Ugh. That's going to be a pain," she said.
"Just set your alarm for 2:00 every night."
She pushed herself off my chest to look at me. "School starts soon. How am I supposed to function on several hours of sleep a night? Every night isn't possible."
"You'll just need to go to bed at 7:00 to make up for it," I teased. Of course I knew every night was unreasonable as was coming over at 2:00 AM.
"I'm thinking one or two nights a week," she said.
"I'll take it, Jo. If you come over after the kids are asleep, we'll be fine. But we're going for quality on those nights, if we're not going to get quantity."
She kissed me softly on the lips. "It's always quality with you. You've got talent."
"You haven't even experienced my full repertoire," I said as I flipped her onto her back. "Let me demonstrate a tried and true move of mine."
~~~~~~
It was the first day of school. This year, we arrived only slightly early. Most people at the school now knew my children went there and very few people reacted when they saw me.
"Let's stop by Miss Finlay's class first," I said as we entered the building.
Nolan laughed. "You mean Joanna?"
"We're in school so we need to use her formal name. You two can't call her Joanna in the halls," I reminded them.
"Evans!" I heard Grace squeal. Sure enough, he was standing by the gym entrance. My kids ran over to him to give him a hug.
"That's Mr. Culver at school," I reminded them. "Formal names, remember?"
I extended my hand and Evans shook it.
"How are you doing, Mendes?" he asked.
"Good. You? You liking the new job?"
Joanna had told me she'd had the unpleasant surprise on the first day back of finding out that her ex had transferred to her school.
"It's a great school. It'll be fun teaching these two," he said.
If he had any problem with me, he was doing a very good job of masking it. Maybe he'd moved on, or maybe he no longer believed that Joanna and I were together. Unfortunately, he'd learn the truth within the next couple months when we planned to go public.
We said goodbye and went to see our favorite kindergarten teacher. She was in her room sorting through some papers.
"Good morning," I said, giving her a big smile.
"It's the Mendes family!" she said cheerfully. "I've missed you!"
The kids hadn't seen her in ten days. I hadn't gone that long. I couldn't go that long.
They each gave her a big hug and started chattering about how excited they were for school and who was in their class and how cool the new playground equipment looked.
"Remember, if you need anything, just come to room 105," she told them.
"We should get going," I said as I put a hand on each child's back to point them towards the door.
The kids hurried into the hall. I made eye contact with my girl and licked my lips. "Have a great first day," I told her.
She winked at me.
I got Gracie and Nolan deposited in their classroom and had a quick chat with each teacher. Then I headed out, stopping to say hello to the parents I met along the way as I walked to the exit.
I arrived back to the condo and started to feel a little blue. Summer was over and it meant less time with my offspring. It also meant less time with Joanna. I needed something to distract me from my lonely thoughts. I walked to my studio and opened the door. I took a deep breath and picked up my favorite acoustic guitar. Taking a seat on the sofa, I started to play.