"Gran Mag...”
Summary: Utterly for fun. Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble. From certain povs. When Amy's older sister blows. Into town. For Halloween and their engagement party.
Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg. And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton.
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's.
Part XIV.
While Stuart and I consulted as to the next gambit in my deadly game of chess with my fiendish future sister-in-law, my beloved was having to deal with dual shocks. First my sudden appearance and disappearance on the threshold of the hotel parking lot, dressed (eminently suitably according to my ally Stuart) as Harry Lime, the famed mysterious 'third man' of the classic film of the same title in an attempt to appeal to her love of classic cinema in an effort to discreetly alert her to the danger menacing our happiness .
Next. Finding said sister in the sack with my roommate of many years, one Leonard Hofstadter, Ph.D. .
At this point I would imagine, based on my years of observation, our neighbor Penny suggesting the D standing for something else.
Poor Leonard shouldn't really be blamed, though. Charlotte having lured many a wiser, stronger, taller, more successful, and more sexually capable fellow to their destruction. And allowing for the empty desolation of his own sexual/emotional isolation, especially since his break-up with the said Penny, waitress and my current sole other ally. He'd been easy prey.
However Amy, close friend to Penny, allowed concern for her friend and a degree of annoyance to replace shock fairly quickly.
But given her fast action to try and prevent the slowly waking Penny from grasping the dire situation awaiting her in the living room of Charlotte's hotel suite, on the roll-away bed, had failed. And having already alerted Leonard to the dangers Charlotte could, or at least had in her darker past, posed, annoyance was becoming paramount.
"Charlotte. What's going on here?..." Amy asked, quietly.
"And Leonard, please stop trying to hide between the sheets and mattress. Unless you can adjust your molecular structure to flow into one or the other, it's time to face the music, buddy.” she frowned.
"Sister. I can explain.” Charlotte, calmly.
"I'm sure. And very smoothly.” Amy sighed, looking over to the forlorn Penny, standing in the doorway, staring at Charlotte peeking up from the roll-away bed covers, Leonard still instinctively attempting to conceal himself. "Penny. I'm so sorry. Leonard?..."
"Yeah.” whining sigh.
"I'm so sorry you're an idiot.”
"Yeah.” sigh.
"Leonard is innocent, sister.” Charlotte began. Sitting up.
"Probably. And by your pov, sure.” Amy nodded. Arms folded.
"Amy.” hurt tone. "Sweetheart, I was trying to help you. Things perhaps did get a bit out of hand and moved a bit faster in the natural course than perhaps we should have let them between dear Leonard and me, but I only intended to ask him to help me expose this deceit. For his sake as well as yours.”
"What. Deceit, Charlotte?..." Amy frowned. But sighing, waited.
"The little game of deceit Sheldon and Penny have been playing. On all of you. And for some time now, given what you've told me of their relationship. Oh, Penny.” Charlotte, sighing at the stunned Penny, shaking head . "And Amy thought you were her best friend. Her 'bestie', she's always telling me on the phone. When all the time you and Sheldon. Though it should have been obvious and was immediately to an outsider like me.” solemn stare.
She folded arms, tsking slightly. Leonard, Amy staring.
Snore from Bernadette inside the bedroom.
"What?...No.” Penny stared, shaking head in wonder and horror. "Amy, that's not true.”
"My would-be brother-in-law may take his fiancée for a fool but he's now dealing with two Fowler girls. And I more than a match for him.” Charlotte, coolly.
(Yes, you can be sure that was a double meaning, gentle reader. )
"I realized as soon as Penny began trying to ferret out information from me tonight and started telling me that hoohash about reuniting with Leonard to throw me off their trail, that Sheldon had contacted her with orders to help conceal him from us. As part of their little scheme.”
"Just be glad I got here in time, sister.” she patted Amy.”But you should understand I wasn't deceiving anyone. My feelings for Leonard are quite genuine, even if I did allow things to go a bit far too quickly. After all, you did testify to his being such a good man for me to get to know better.”
'Hoohash?'...Leonard, staring at her. She patted him. Dear Leonard.
Amy looking a bit sheepish now.
"What?" Penny, gulping. "You say what?..."
And Amy?. You told Charlotte to get to know?
God. Sheldon, I told you I didn't wanna do this 'test' of yours. Oh.
"Thanks.” Leonard, eyeing Charlotte next to him. "But you did mean to say you really were attracted?"
Amy rolling eyes. (As do I. What is with our little Hobbit Kirk, anyway?...)
"Yes, yes.” Charlotte, impatiently. "I just went head over heels with love and lost all restraint. You're a wonderfully sweet man, just as my sister described you to me. .And the sex was perfectly adequate.” she waved an airy hand.
Perfectly adequate?...He sheepishly mouthed to the world in general.
"Great.” he sighed. However, eyeing Penny cautiously as she stared at the floor.
Perfectly. She sadly thought.
Perflectly. Oh.
"This is ridiculous, Charlotte.” Amy frowned. "And please get out of that bed. You are claiming Sheldon and Penny are a couple and deliberately tried to conceal it. And that's why Sheldon fled?..."
"Amy.” Charlotte remaining in bed, narrow side look to Leonard, attempting to slidle away. Stay right where you are, fuck-buddy. "It is so obvious, I can only believe your desperate desire for happiness is once again leading you to disaster.”
"Penny?...And Sheldon?..." Leonard, chortling. Charlotte eyeing him, slight glare.
"I don't say they didn't oppose their feeling for each other for some time..."
"Feeling?" Penny, blinking. "Me. And Sheldon?..."
"Amy?..." Charlotte turned to her. "Haven't you all been telling me how Sheldon is always turning to Penny for consolation and help when dealing with a world his maladjustments obviously make too difficult for him to deal with easily?. Isn't he always going to her apartment to discuss such matters?. What, does he get Physics assistance from her?..."
(I must admit to a heartly chortle here myself. Bazinga on Charlotte's part, well played, sis-in-law. )
"They're friends, Charlotte. Penny and I are more likely as a couple.” Amy glared.
"Darn tootin'!..." Penny, recovering from shock a bit herself.
Uhh. "I mean.”
"And Penny is my best friend. Alluring as Sheldon might be. She'd never indulge in such a betrayal.”
"Ask Penny if Sheldon didn't contact her. .If she doesn't know where Sheldon is, right now.” Charlotte, firmly. Stern glance to Penny.
Snore from the open door to the bedroom from Bernadette.
"Ask her.” Charlotte repeated. "She knows. She's known all evening.”
"Oh, come on.” Leonard, shaking head. "Penny, Sheldon hasn't been speaking to you behind Amy's back, right?..."
Penny. Nervous look.
Uh.
"Why would Penny keep something like that from me, when she knows my distress?...She's my bestie.” Amy frowned. "Stop it, Charlotte. This is your old behavior pattern, just layered over with a little sisterly concern. Like when you insisted Granny's neighbor's daughter was not my friend and accused her of stealing.”
"Ask her. And Dorothy was a lying little thief. She and that little obnoxious dog of hers.” Charlotte frowned.
"Charlotte. You make me very sad. And you liked dogs when we were little, what's happened to you?..." Amy sighed.
Charlotte, coolly.”I grew up and learnt what the world is really like, Sister. Alone. But I care about you, whether you believe me or no. These 'friends' of yours are betraying you. Penny and Sheldon may not have wanted to admit their mutual passion even to themselves until they were trapped by Sheldon's proposal to you. But Penny has lied to you. And Sheldon is simply fleeing a relationship he never really wanted. You told me how long it took to get him to admit to any feeling for you, to any physical intimacy. And how jealous you were of how Penny and Sheldon seemed to bond so easily.”
"Charlotte.” Amy, hand to head.
"Amy?..." Penny stared. Leonard stared.
"You're jealous of me. And Sheldon?..."
"With excellent reason, I'd say.” Charlotte, triumphant.
"It's just.” Amy, slowly, not looking at Penny. "You and he. You always seemed to find a way to reach him. Even when I couldn't.”
"Amy?"
"And you sang 'Soft Kitty' for him so well. He's always talking about it. But I know you never. Penny, you didn't speak to him tonight, did you?..."
"Amy. I.” Penny, hesitant. "It's just. I think he didn't have anyone else to.”
Amy staring. Tears.
Leonard, staring at her, then Penny.
"No. One. Else?..." Amy whispered. Running from the room. Gasping sobs.
"Penny. I think you should go now.” Charlotte, coldly. "And tell Sheldon I demand to see him. This game of yours has gone on long enough. Amy's been hurt enough.”
"Oh. You!" Penny, enraged now. "You are so going down, bitch!..."
Whoa. She backed at Charlotte's vicious return stare.
"GET OUT!..." Raging hiss, claws extended. "Before I make you regret staying!..."
Leonard falling out of bed in panic.
"Not you, Leonard.” Charlotte sighed.
"Gran Mag.”
Summary: Utterly for fun. Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble. From certain povs. When Amy's older sister blows. Into town. For Halloween and their engagement party.
Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg. And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton.
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's.
Part XV.
The situation looked grim. My beautiful if deadly nemesis and would-be, though not if she has her fiendish way, sister-in-law, Charlotte Magdelena Fowler, had brilliantly deduced that I would enroll one of my friends to assist me in my battle of wits with her. And by skillful observation, based no doubt on her admittedly excellent medical training, she'd further deduced that person could only be our neighbor Penny.
And armed with Amy's innocent observations of a certain closeness between me and said Penny, she'd concocted a vicious but seamless web of lies and half-truths to turn that innocent relationship into something vile. In fact, its threatened exposure the whole cause, by her claim, of my earlier this evening fleeing the apartment I currently share with Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, the human outside my familial relations I was closest to until my divine Amy made her appearance.
Amy now fled in tears at Penny's forced admission that she had indeed been contacted by me after my mysterious disappearance. Penny herself rather in shock over finding Charlotte had more than passed my own little suggested test of her wicked nature, namely doing the nasty with the said Dr. Hofstadter in the roll-away bed the hotel had provided for his rest in the suite's living room after Penny's hinting, at my suggestion, of her renewed interest in resuming relations with said Hofstadter. And said Penny now in forced retreat from Charlotte's raging reply to her attempt to deny the charges and fling the accusations back in Charlotte's admittedly lovely face.
That is one scary if beautiful bitch when she's in full fury. And acting or no, Charlotte was in her furious glory. An old hand at portraying the infuriated, aggrieved party or infuriated relation of aggrieved party, at a moment's notice.
Leonard, having done his usual bit to complicate matters further, busy picking himself off the floor he'd fell onto in the course of edging away from the developing catfight.
"Hey, guys!..." the finally awakened, groggy voice of my treasured acquaintance Howard's on-again, off-again girlfriend/fiancee Bernadette, stretching in the bedroom doorway. Glancing round to see Charlotte smiling at her. Hello, whoever?. Ah, Bernadette, right. "Hello, Bernadette.” . From the rollaway bed their friend/chauffeur Leonard had supposedly bedded down in. The same Leonard on floor. Penny hastening out the suite's front door.
"Penny?..."
Slam of suite door.
Hmmn.
"Is anything going on?...Have I missed something?" Bernadette, puzzled.
"Little bit.” Leonard sighed from the floor.
Opening of suite door. Charlotte and others looking at the sheepish Penny.
"Forgot my clothes.” she noted, running into the bedroom, then back out, holding a plastic bag and immediately out the open suite door under Charlotte's baleful. Leonard's anxious. Bernadette's totally clueless, what the frack?...Stare.
Meanwhile as we proceeded back to his comic book haven, just down the street, Stuart was urging me to acquire the additional support of Howard and Raj, presumably still at the apartment Leonard and I shared. Manning the command center in case I attempted to make contact or reports on me surfaced. I.e., playing video games on our system until dawn or their brains were cooked to pastey mush.
I was doubtful. Additional allies meaning additional vulnerabilities. Especially if male, given Charlotte.
And Howard and Raj likely to be liabilities under any circumstances.
However, they did possess two sterling qualifications as a result of educational, mental, and physical factors. They had a good understanding of any physical component, particularly electronic, support I might need. And they were currently out of Charlotte's physical grasp.
"If you're gonna get solid goods on Charlotte, you gonna need equipment and probably back-up.” Stuart noted. "And while I'll do all I can, I don't have the equipment.”
Hmmn. True enough.
"You'll have to make contact, though.” I noted. "I can't risk Charlotte's deducing I'd be headed back there. A logical choice, after all. And having them primed to call her at any word from me. Or even her lying in wait for me there.”
He gave me a skeptical look. "Me?...What do I tell them?..."
"I can supply you with a list of my needs. Now, lets see. We'll need high resolution cameras, with night filming capability. High definition audio.”
"Sheldon, she won't walk into a studio to be recorded. Keep it simple and small, compadre. The smaller the better. In fact.” he considered. "I think a quick survey of my collection of police and espionage flicks might be in order. What we need here is a personal surveillance system. In short, a wire.”
"A wire?...As in someone wearing?" I eyed his stare. "Oh, no.”
"Sheldon, the woman wants you. You're the prize of prizes, as you put it. So, we give the lady from Paris what she wants and record the byplay.”
Lord. My uvula is hurting again.
A fuming Penny in the hotel parking lot, carrying plastic bag of dirty clothes, was pondering her options. Cab, bus, or call that idiot Sheldon who got me into this?...
Of course what I should do is call that asshole Leonard.
Perfectly, eh?...Right. Since when, buddy.
Oh. She teared up. Leonard, how could you?...Jesus, she's Amy's sister and clearly Evil incarnate.
Hmmn. "Incarnate"?...Not bad. Faint smile to lips.
Shake of head. Frown.
Oh, I do spend too much time with Sheldon.
Her phone buzzed.
"Yeah. Penny. Say, could you speak up a little?..."
"Penny, it's Amy. Farrah Fowler.”
"Amy?..."
"Shhh. Have you escaped the lair of Evil yet?...Hang up and say it was a wrong number if no.”
"Charlotte chased me out, I'm outside.”
"Good. Listen. I can't talk for more than a few seconds. I can't risk Charlotte having a way to monitor my calls. Meet me at the corner of Seventh and Fugler St. A McDonald's. Within twenty minutes.”
"Make it forty. I don't have my car. But, Amy.”
"Forty. Must go. Thanks, bestie.”
Hmmn. McDonald's. Excellent choice, Charlotte sure would never think to look for Amy there.
Still "Bestie", eh?...Smile.
You are going down, bitch sister.
God, who'd've ever thought I'd be grateful to know Amy Farrah Fowler was still my best friend?...She thought in wonder.
"Gran Mag.”
Summary: Utterly for fun. Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble. From certain povs. When Amy's older sister blows. Into town. For Halloween and their engagement party.
Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg. And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton.
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's.
Part XVI.
"When the shark bites, with her teeth dear. Crimson billows, start to spread. Now, MacHeath has. Got a knife, dear. And he keeps it out of sight.”
Leonard, dressed and pacing, listening from living room of Charlotte's suite. Bernadette seated, eyeing him a bit sternly.
"What?..." he stares back.
"Amy's sister?..." Bernadette frowns, voice at whisper. "What is it with you, anyway?..."
"See the shark how. Red her fins are. As she slashes. At her prey. Now Charlotte wears white kid gloves, dear. And there's not a. Speck of red.” gentle hum.
Mutual stare. Leonard, Bernadette. Both glancing to the bathroom door.
"The Threepenny Opera.” Leonard notes, nodding. "She likes music.”
"I know what it is. And Mack the Knife sounds about right.” Bernadette, grimly.
"All ready.” Charlotte's gentle call. "Bernadette, the bathroom's yours.” she emerged, looking fresh as if last night's. Or rather, this very early morning's . Turmoil had never occurred. In light dress.
"Thanks.” Bernadette nodded, a bit curtly. Her look turning to deep frown as Charlotte came to Leonard and kissed him softly on the lips, arm round his neck. Looking up to Bernadette with smile, who'd pasted a noncommittal look.
"I'll try Amy again, but if I can't reach her, soon as you're ready, we'll all go down to breakfast and decide what's to be done.”
"Great.” Bernadette nodded, turning for the bathroom.
"I'm so sorry things turned out so badly. But I'm sure we'll straighten it all out today.” Charlotte cooed.
"Right.” terse return from the bathroom. Door slam.
"She seems a bit upset. But I understand.” Charlotte, to Leonard.
"Yeah. It's been a pretty wild night.” Leonard noted. Stepping back a bit. "Charlotte?...We should talk.”
"Yes, darling.” she smiled eagerly at him. "I know things were moving very quickly last night. And if I lost my temper at Penny, I'm terribly sorry. I was upset for my sister.”
"You accused her of stealing Sheldon and lying to Amy.” he noted frowning.
"Amy seemed to agree there were grounds for suspicion.” she noted, a bit coolly.
"Amy ran off. We don't know what she's thinking.”
"Leonard. I've apologized. But remember, my primary duty is to my sister, not to your friends. If I've jumped the gun so to speak on things out of concern for Amy, I'll fully apologize. .But you must agree Sheldon and Penny were deceiving us for a reason.”
"Maybe. I don't know.” he sighed.
"We'll sort it out as soon as we find Amy and her wayward fiancée. Now, as to us.” she eyed him. "If I let things move a bit quickly, if you feel pressured.”
"Well, maybe a little. I mean things were moving fast.” he noted. "No offense.”
She sat down in an armchair, suddenly downcast. "I always do this.” sigh. "I fall in love too easily when I think I've found a good man and I end up rushing. It's only because you're so wonderful, Leonard. Just as Amy's told me.”
"And it was such a perfect night for romance.” she concluded. Winsome sigh.
It was?...He thought.
"Amy said I'm wonderful?..." he stared. "I kinda thought she didn't have much use for me. Except at the wedding I took her to she did seem to have a nice time with me. And last night she said I was considerate.”
"She did say you were a bit unfocused and overeager to please any woman willing to 'link up'.” Charlotte noted, with gentle smile. "But otherwise, wonderful.”
"Really?...She said that?..."
"Lets go.” Bernadette, standing in the living doorway, grim.
If I gotta listen to one more minute of this.
"That was admirably fast.” Charlotte smiled.
"I'm quick when friends are missing and I'm hungry.” Bernadette, grimly. Heading for door..
"'By the Thames'. Turbid waters. Men abruptly. Tumble down. Is it plague?... or. Is it cholera?...Or a sign, MacHeath's in town?'. Hmmn..Hmmn. Hmmmmn. Hmmn. Hmmn. Mmn. I do so love Kurt Weill, don't you?..." Charlotte beamed at Leonard. Smile to Bernadette.
More like "Magdalena's in town". Bernadette thought, grimly.
McDonald's.
Penny sipping at hot chocolate. Or whatever that abominable concoction in styrofoam was.
"And I 'm glad you're not really jealous of me and Sheldon.” she smiled at Amy sitting across from her, milk in hand. "'Cause, you know there's.”
"I am jealous.” Amy, calmly, cutting in. "That's why I had to leave. My tears were quite real. Charlotte had, as always, found my sore spot. I'm not a saint, Penny. I've been bitterly jealous of you at times.” she eyed Penny.
"Amy?" Slightly dumbstruck.
"But Sheldon's my boyfriend and asked me to marry him. So, however strong and whatever the extent of his feeling for you. I win.” quick smile. Pat of Penny's hand.
"I'm sorry. I never thought.” Penny began. "I guess I should've.”
"No, it's my fault. I should have aired this long ago. And I am glad you are friends with Sheldon. Lord knows he needs all he can get. And you did bring him out of his shell a little, to my eventual benefit. So, I should simply be grateful. But, I'm only human, Penny. And I'm a little jealous of Leonard Hofstadter as well. I'd've liked to have been the first person outside his mother and Meemaw he was close to. The first besides them to sing 'Soft Kitty' for him when he was sick. First female, I mean. Given I don't really mind that Leonard's sung it to him many times. And under duress.”
"I understand.” Penny smiled.
"And do you mind?...Just this once, never again. Before we move along. If I ask?..."
"Sure.”
"Have you ever had feelings for Sheldon?...You know what I mean.” intense stare. "Sorry. But I have to know.”
"Amy, you're my best friend.” Penny, pausing. "Incredible to both of us as that's gotta sound, admit it.” grin. "And this once, never again. Because I want to be honest with my bestie.”
Pause.
"Yes, I've thought about Sheldon. When he took care of me after I hurt my shoulder. When I took care of him when he was sick. If he'd made a move or been the type. .And maybe, at other times, when he acted the way you and I love to see him act. You know what I mean. When he's the Sheldon his Meemaw loved.” smile. "I could have had feelings for him, you bet. But, he wasn't interested and there was someone else, for me, and now, for him. And it's clear to me he's been waiting for you all his life. So, yeah.” sigh.
"You wn.”
"Thank you.”Amy nodded. "I accept the palm of victory.”
Smile.
"Now as to our real problem.”
"I'm sure Sheldon.” Penny began.
"Sheldon's not the problem.” Amy frowned. "Though I could kick his keyster into next week for worrying me. I know things are all right there, for now. Though I need to find out exactly what's up from you, at least to the extent you know. It's Leonard we have to worry about.”
"Leonard?"
"My sister the Snow Queen has her hooks in him.” Amy shook her head. "And we have to save him. For your sake if not for his.”
(Yes, gentle reader, I am properly appreciative. )
"Charlotte. Oh. Leonard's a big boy, Amy.” slight downcast look. "Maybe a little of an idiot to let Charlotte.”
"And it's partly my fault.” Amy noted. "Sorry. My sister no doubt was attracted by my occasional mention of him as the second dearest, and most considerate human being on the planet.”
"Amy?..."
"I've already told you. He don't do it for me, bestie. But he is good basic material. Though if I may speak feelly?..."
"Sure.”
"You're a bigger idiot than he iis. And you're right, he's a perfect right to be interested in Charlotte. And God knows he would be the best thing to ever happen to my poor twisted sister if she could appreciate him.” she eyed Penny carefully.
"Amy?..."
"Penny, you have to make up your mind. You can't keep treating Leonard like this. Either he's worth fighting for to you or let him go and be as happy as he can. If I say he's an idiot, it's partly for letting you treat him the way you do.”
"Me?...Treat Leonard?..."
"Like his role in life is to be your comfort pillow and doormat when life gets rough for you. And he's a fool to keep hoping that will change if you don't wish it to change. Do you?..."
"I don't. I haven't.”
"Penny. To be frank, my sister is kinder than you for all her cruelty. At least she's quick and clean when she's done with her prey. They may be insane, imprisoned, ruined, or dead, but at least it's over. You keep Leonard hanging on, if I may borrow an analogy from Diana Ross and the Supremes.” careful stare.
Penny, blinking.
"Excuse me?..."
Amy frowned.
"'I can't say I love you, so lets break up'?...'Leonard is a great guy, I shouldn't've dumped him. '. 'What about Priya?...Is he seriously thinking of leaving . us?'. .Girl, make up your mind and fight for the horny little Hobbit if you want him.”
"Bestie, this is approaching the line.”
"Bestie. Screw "the line". And give the man you love a reason for abandoning my sister's incredible circus of delights. I say that to you as your bestie.”
Penny, frowning, then.
Sobs.
"Penny.” Amy , sighing. "I'll do anything I can to wrench him loose from Charlotte if you want him. And I have my ways, with my sister. But I won't lift a finger except to warn him to be careful and to try and get Charlotte to see what happiness she still could have with him unless you tell me you are ready to try and make a commitment here. The man, with all his faults, loves you and has since he met you. He doesn't deserve to be kicked around any more.”
"I. Don't know. Amy, we've had a lot of ups and downs. He's great but.”
"So. Problems. Which are made to be solved. What are they, in order of importance?..." Amy, pulling out pad and pen.
"Amy. You can't resolve things like this on a checklist.” pause, careful eyeing.
"Can you?..."
"It works very well for Sheldon and me. We routinely compile a list of our grievances and concerns and go through them minutely. I recommend at least a monthly review. Anyway, most serious problem?..."
"I don't know. He's smarter than me and he knows it, I guess.”
"Intellectual arrogance. Surprising from Leonard Hofstadter, as my Sheldon would say.” Amy nodded, writing.
"What's that supposed to mean?..." Penny, glaring a bit. "You know, I'm a little tired of Sheldon's constant belittling of Leonard and his work. Leonard's a brilliant guy who actually does things to prove his theories. And he's always modest about it.”
"So. Scratch arrogance.” Amy smiled. "Too bad, I sure know how to deal with that.”
"Well. Maybe it's more me thinking I'm not as smart as he is.” Penny sighed. "But he's always got to have the last word.”
"Considering his mother , siblings, and Sheldon. Rather understandable.” Amy noted. Eyeing her.
"Yeah, I guess there's a good explanation. But it's not fair for him to turn around and do it to me.”
"It's insecurity. All he has is his intellect, he thinks. If he lets you trump that, what's he got to impress you with?"
"What?...He doesn't have to impress me.”
"After the endless jock parade through your apartment?..." Amy, leaning back. Shrewd cock of head.
"Hey!..."
"Why do you think he let you hang around after Prya showed?. I mean to the extent he did, which lets face it, was way beyond the call of friendship duty. He was countering your jock boys. And rather well, considering Prya's combination of beauty and brains.”
"He did kinda wave her in my face. But it was serious, you know.”
"How could it not be?. Except for the fact he didn't love her like he does you, she was perfect in almost every way. You were very lucky Prya's a bigger fool and a coward than either of you. So, we've almost eliminated this one. You just have to tell Leonard he doesn't need to impress you, you're already impressed for life. What next?..."
"Well.”
"As Charlotte would say in her naturalized tongue. Vite, vite. I still have a panicky fiancée to hook with and a wicked sister to defeat. We'll need to get over to Sheldon's place asap once we're done.”
Apartment shared by myself and Leonard Hofstadter. Where as expected Howard and Raj lay sprawled on sofa. Wisely avoiding my spot. After a long night of video game debauchery.
My ally awakes them with the doorbell buzzer. Howard groggily stumbling over to the door...
"Stuart?..."
"Hey, Howard. Just wanted to see how things were going for the engagement party tonight. I've got the costumes in.”
As per our careful rehearsal in the wee hours, he is calm, a bit guarded. Scans for any unwanted extra guests, namely my nemesis Charlotte. Or perhaps the happy chance of my Amy having made Charlotte the slip and headed there.
No one.
"It's not looking like a nuptial.” Raj, rubbing eyes, sighs.
"What?..." Stuart, a careful balance of feigned startle and wary caution.
I should note here what an excellent choice of ally I made in Stuart Bloom, given his detailed knowledge of both comic book fantasy and classic film noir.
Plus a good friend. Recently raised to the position and eminently worthy, given his willingness to risk being cast as the staunch friend of the desperate hero. That would be me. Who usually winds up getting murdered by the villain or henchthugs in a tragic scene.
Hopefully Charlotte does not have "henchthugs". However I wouldn't put it past her. She probably has earned enough from her best-selling books and TV appearances, not to mention legal settlements with a long list of disgraced, semi-or fully blackmailed lovers. To hire a platoon of the beefiest.