Act II of Devotion: Endurance
Chapter XI: The Years Had Gone By
‘Over the few years, the white queen Leila Lannister would be blessed with the most joyous moments of her life. She grew content with her marriage, even finding in it a love that she would claim to bear her husband for the rest of her days and grew very happy with the constant addition of offspring into their family. Leila usually with her children accompanied her husband in his various trips across the country but often she decides to remain in Sunfire or Dragonstone with her children to teach them and raise them while prince Rhaegar did his duty for the realm but he often visited when his businesses were conducted quickly and he would always try to put his family first whenever it was possible.
After almost five years, he young couple always found peace in the company of each other and I have no doubt that they always spent that company of peace in bed for Leila Lannister was always pregnant.
It was obvious that these years were the most blissful time of their relationship or it was said by Leila herself. Leila had always wanted a large family and a fact that the prince was so delighted about. Every year, the princess was beset with constant pregnancies after prince Aegon. Of course, the memory of each pregnancy almost unseen as the princess was almost always moving with the work and the children she had to care for.
After prince Aegon was born, his twin sisters the princesses Visenya and Rhaenys followed in the middle of the year 278 but the very next few later months I, your loving author had followed as prince Maekar (But of course, prince Maekar only existed for a while until he decided to be a maester.) Following me was the twin brothers prince Daemon and Aemon in late 279 AC and a few months later, the white queen was pregnant with another boy who would be known as prince Aerion who was born in late 280 AC.
The prince and the princess were delighted with their children and loved them dearly but after a while, they decided not to have more children for the time being as the prince was worried it might cause the princess her life constantly being in the birthing bed due to his fears of what happened with prince Aegon would happen again and happen often without him due to his duties and the princess agreed, more than satisfied for now with having to raise all of her children and focusing on helping her husband with his duties once more. But they were happy and that was all that mattered then. Until the year passes, of course, it would not matter.'
-Maester Maekar, Chapter V of the White Queen.
SUNFIRE
DORNE
LATE 280 A C
LEILA LANNISTER HAD NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD SEE HERSELF IN THIS SITUATION AFTER SO MANY YEARS. She wondered what her youthful self would have been thinking if she would be able to hear from her voice now what had become of her life after her marriage to the prince of Dragonstone all those years ago. Even with her children running around, she couldn’t believe it. But of course all of what she sees is reality. She was an older woman now, who is both a wife and a mother, with so many children to love and care for. And as far as she was concerned, this is her life forevermore for she could not imagine any other life without her children in it.
Leila sat on her chair as she watched her children played with their uncle Oberyn, who showed them how to hold their wooden spears without the pointy end. Oberyn had been there for her always when she needed someone to turn to when Rhaegar was away. Of course, he and her are only good friends now but that did not stop Oberyn from going through extreme lengths just to make sure she was happy.
He often visited her when she was at Dragonstone, bringing his daughters to play with her children and often they would write to one another and send little gifts to each other’s children. Leila couldn’t help but smile deeply at Oberyn faking being stabbed and falling across the grassy field as the children continued to stab him with their sticks. He has always been so playful with children and she has no doubt in her mind that Oberyn was a great father.
“He is always like this.” Ellaria Sand exclaims from beside Leila as she watched the young daughter of lord Uller drink some wine from her goblet. A quirky smile upon her lips. “You could not imagine my thinking that I have a man child with me and the children.”
Leila laughed as she turned to the sudden arising of Oberyn, jumping up as the children gasped. “I think that is why the children love him very much. He likes to play with them.”
Ellaria raised a brow. “And your husband? Is he not that way to your children.”
“Oh, he likes to play with them all the time.” Leila answers as Oberyn started chasing the squealing and laughing children all across the grassy field. “But with the king’s condition, Rhaegar only sees it fair he does not burden my father with too much work when he already has too much on his mind.”
“And how is that working for you?” Ellaria asks after she took a sip of Dornish red. “Do you not find it hard being a wife of such a man who has rarely any time for you nowadays?”
Leila shook her head as she placed her hand over her lap. “I don’t think that it would be fair for me to complain about it. Rhaegar has too much burden on his shoulders, Ellaria and I do not want to add to that pile of burdens he has on his shoulder by telling him not to do his duty.”
“But you are his wife and mother of his children. Surely he should take some time to realize that you are more important than his work or duty.”
“He already shows me that I am more important than anything else and that our children hold all of his heart.” Leila smiled at Ellaria but then sighed. “But for now, his father is mad and the queen, oh my poor mother in law. Rhaegar tells me that the queen is constantly raped by the king even if he’s trying to distract his father with other things to give the queen reprieve but he does it subtly so the king would not do anything to harm us. I should think that she and my dear brother Viserys is the reason my husband stays there.”
Ellaria’s eyes went wide but she sighed with sorrow, looking out the window. “The poor queen indeed. She’s already suffered much from the king’s acts. I can’t imagine the terrible things she must be suffering under the king and oh that young boy too, prince Viserys. I wonder what terrible poisonous thoughts he transfers on to the boy.”
“Indeed she has.” Leila nodded her head. “I just hope that my husband will find a permanent way to keep the queen safe. Perhaps suggest that the queen move to White Hall or perhaps to Dragonstone with us. Or even Duskendale. My Maekar is too young to be the sent off to his seat anyway and I shan’t want to be apart from him. Perhaps it would give the queen some relief to be away from the king.”
“Perhaps you could try and convince your husband or even the king.” Ellaria suggested. “By what I heard is true, you were a favorite at court before.”
“Rhaegar will not allow me to go to court anymore, sadly. Not even my father wishes for me to return there.” Leila recalled the memories of her pregnancy with Aegon and how she could have lost her dear beloved boy. “I cannot even settle my business there personally anymore, I left some of my ladies to deal with the charities I have there and they report everything to me.”
“I don’t think the two of them want you to deal with all of the king’s maddening presence.” Ellaria says to her in reply. “The king is already horrifying the entire city and making the continent nervous. He is hurting his own wife and poisoning the good mind of his young son. Surely your father and your husband only want to keep you and your children safe from him.”
“I have no doubt that is there only intention, but I just…I just don’t want the people to think that I had forgotten them or wish nothing to do with them anymore. This is my duty to the people and it makes me weary that I cannot perform them myself.”
“Leila, you have not forgotten them and I doubt they think you forgot about them.” Ellaria says to her as she asks for the servant to bring her more spiced wine. “You have been funding your own charities with your own money for the past few years and you left people to take of it with your instructions. You have not forgotten about them, Leila. Besides, you are running your own husband’s household while he is away and taking care of business here in Dorne while running after a bunch of children. Do you not think they would understand that as well?”
Before Leila could respond to Ellaria, she found her children running to her as Oberyn chased them through the hallways. Leila could not help but smile at them. Aegon was joyously running with his brother Maekar as Visenya and Rhaenys followed, the two younger boys Aemon and Daemon carried by the prince as they chuckled and giggled.
Aegon looked every inch like his father except she gave her eyes to him and her joyous bubbling personality but he was often serious and would rather read just like his father and listen to music rather than to play games with his siblings and called by his mother as her ‘solemn prince’ because of it. Though Rhaegar calls their son ‘the young dragon’ just like their ancestor Daeron I. Though Oberyn guessed that the boy will be more Baelor Breakspear if Leila manages to bring more knowledge onto the boy and if the Dornish prince can make the boy into a warrior.
Visenya and Rhaenys were every inch their mother with their hair blonde and only gaining their father’s purple indigo eyes. They were adventurous girls, though they are very close to their brother Aegon and sometimes joined him in reading. They were the only ones who could convince the young prince to play besides Maekar.
Maekar was his mother through and through, from his eyes and his hair with exception to having a silver strand across the long strand of hair beside his right cheek. He was a curious child and was a quick learner whenever Leila would ask him something after she only told him about it, he would know it already despite being a boy of almost four name days.
Daemon and Aemon, they were complete opposites. Daemon looked exactly like his father and Aemon looked exactly like his mother. Whereas Daemon was mischievous, Aemon was kind and considerate. Leila already called Daemon ‘her little rougue’ which intrigued George Moore because he was often called the ‘rogue prince’ himself.
Little Aerion who was still asleep in the cradle was every inch Lannister, often called by his father fondly as the ‘dragon cub’ because of it. Though Leila and Rhaegar guessed that their son would probably become more Targaryen in mind over time. Her father even said that Aerion looked so much like Jaime, which intrigued her little brother when he came to visit her in Dragonstone after he was knighted for his bravery by Arthur Dayne himself. Though he said he could not remember how he looked like, adding that maybe Aerion looked like him.
“Mama, mama!” Cried Maekar as she stood up and he jumped on his mother’s arms as she knelt down to catch him with a giggle. “Uncle Oberyn is going to eat me!”
“Oh is he?” Leila asked as she looked to her son who nodded. But then she started to tackle her son into kisses and tickled him causing him to laugh hard. “But I will be the one to eat you!”
“Mama, no!” Maekar cried through his fits of laughter, “Stop!”
“I’ll save you, Maekar!” Four namedays old Rhaenys ran towards her mother’s legs and started to thump her fists against her mother’s dress causing Leila to laugh. “I will free you!”
Leila finally stopped and told Rhaenys not to hit her any longer as she dropped Maekar carefully onto the floor to stand on his legs, fixed his clothes and his hair and placed a kiss on him. When she turned her cheek, Maekar placed a kiss upon her cheek as well. Rhaenys was next and giggled as her mother took her into her arms and waved her around causing Ellaria to laugh too. Rhaenys pampered her mother with returned kisses and soon Leila put her down as Visenya came to her mother.
Visenya gave her mother a kiss and a hug before her mother kissed her and hugged her more, though not tickle since Visenya had no tickle spots whatsoever. Then asked to be let go after she and Rhaenys saw their uncle Oberyn’s daughters come out of the sept and joined them to watch their spear practice that day.
The last one to approach her was Aegon who kissed his mother on her brow and asked her if he could ask Maekar to go join him in his archery lessons with uncle Mors and Leila agreed, though telling Aegon to be responsible with caring for his younger brother and so he agreed after she kissed his cheeks and hugged him.
Oberyn handed her the two young boys Daemon and Aemon after Daemon bit him his brother by the hand and Aemon hit his brother in return, making Daemon cry. Leila scolded her sons kindly as she held them both. Oberyn sighed as she watched Leila cradle her two boys in her arms, who were rubbing their eyes tiredly after they had wept.
“You have too many children.” Oberyn exclaims as Ellaria handed him her goblet for him to drink from. “Seven children in a few years, two being twins. I do not know how you manage it.”
“You can’t tell her that, Oberyn.” Ellaria exclaims to her lover as she shook her head at him. “You have many children too.”
“You have become a hypocrite there.” Leila exclaimed to Oberyn as he chuckled at the two of them ganging up on him. Leila Sand was late as she asked her sisters to wait for her, holding her spear. “She’s late.”
Leila Sand was Oberyn’s young bastard daughter with his last conquest before Ellaria. Oberyn named her Leila in honor of his friend because they looked too much alike, with green eyes and sand like blonde hair he could not resist and see his truest love and so named her Leila. When Leila first met the young girl who held her name, she cried for she was beautiful and the young girl would have been the daughter she had wished she had with Oberyn years ago. Out of all the children Oberyn had, Leila Sand had a special place in Leila’s heart and her children treated her almost like a sister. Well, they did the same with all of Oberyn’s daughters.
“Well, she lost track of time.” Oberyn explained to her as he drank another sip of Dornish red. “She wanted to find her necklace first, the one you gave her.”
“For that seven pointed star necklace?”
“Yes.” Oberyn nodded at the blonde woman. “You know her, she treasures anything you give her. You’re her favorite aunt.”
“Not Mellario?” Leila questioned teasingly as both Oberyn and Ellaria eyed one another and laughed. Leila laughed as well though felt a little sadness for the woman she mentioned. Mellario was not in Dorne anymore but rather she left to return to Naarvos after she and Doran had disagreements in their marriage. Mellario was free but at the price of leaving her children behind.
“No, not Mellario.” Oberyn answered to her with a small smile. “Though you are the children’s favorite aunt whatever you do, even if you mention any other woman too.”
“How is Mellario? I do not think it is a triumph for her at all to be free and yet her children apart from her.” Leila exclaims softly as her children slept in her arms. “I cannot imagine having to give up my children just to be free.”
“I think she’s much happier.”
Ellaria says as Oberyn handed her the goblet back and he sat down on Leila’s chair beside her. “She couldn’t take our customs, no matter how hard she tried. She threatened to do so heinous things and she just left Doran like that, not even caring what he thought.”
“Doran loved her and tried to do everything for her.” Oberyn responded looking at the two women. “It was her choice to go in the end, my brother gave her the option to do so and it’s not like my brother forgot about her. He gave her a court and a manse up there in Naarvos and regularly allows the children to write to their mother.”
“I could not imagine what your mother would feel if she was still alive.” Leila sighed as Oberyn’s eyes hardened at the thought of his mother. He had not forgiven her over all the years that had passed. “What has your father said about this?”
“My father has let my brother to do what he will with his own personal business and gave him advice when he talked to my brother about it. You know my father, he is not one to go about things he knows his children can handle.” Oberyn responded. “Besides, Doran found it better not to disturb him. As you know, he is very much well retired in the Water Gardens.”
Leila sighed as she swore to herself to visit Mors Jordayne as soon as possible. “But still, the children are motherless. They deserve to have a mother figure helping them grow up.”
“Arianne and her siblings are fond of you and Ellaria. If they need a mother figure, they could come to you, just as my daughters have.” Oberyn says seriously. “It was her choice to leave and her choice not to adapt well to the customs of her new home. It will be like asking a lion to become a snake. Asking the lion to remove its claws to move onto the ground like a snake. Mellario could not do that for she prefers the claws and not the venom. Let her do what she will. My brother is more than satisfied on being with his children and his family more than she is.”
“Well, I cannot argue with your logic and it is none of my business.” Leila sighed as she looked to Oberyn who sighed and took the goblet from his lover once more and drank. “I shall put these two on their cradle and perhaps we could go out riding or perhaps watch the children spar.”
“That would be lovely.” Ellaria answered for Oberyn as he continued to drink until the goblet was emptied. “We shall meet you there. Afterwards, we can dine together after the children all bathe at the pools, yes?”
“Yes, that would be nice.” Leila exclaimed as she nodded at them and with one more look to Oberyn, she smiled and bid them farewell.
This was her life of eternal bliss.
THE REST OF THE DAY WENT OUT THE WAY LEILA WISHED IT WAS TO BE. She and Oberyn apologized to one another for what had happened earlier with their debate about Mellario. Leila knew Oberyn was right for one as Mellario was a free woman and had a choice to go about her own decisions but Oberyn saw Leila righteous as well for thinking about how Mellario was sorrowful at the thought of losing her children. Oberyn realized that he too could not be truly parted from his beloved children for just as Mellario and Leila, he loved them more than anything in life and he would rather die first than lose them.
The two friends hugged it out and watched the children spar in the courtyard and watch Aegon and Maekar train with bows and arrows. Oberyn instructed the sparring and Mors with the archery while Leila and Ellaria sat there, gossiping and talking with Leila’s ladies. Leila’s ladies in waiting had become rather smaller than before due to her leaving some in to care for her home at White Hall to handle the Winged Lion and its charitable works under her instructions and some often getting married.
Helaena Velaryon, Felicity Waynwood and her sister Cersei were left in King’s Landing. Leila would not have left her dear sister had it not been for her father’s request, wishing to find Cersei a husband soon and house Lannister an alliance.
Then her two maidens, Alysanne Hightower and Eleanor Bolling were both married off after three years in her service. Leila continues send them letters and gifts, especially Eleanor who has hidden a bastard son of Robert Baratheon after lord Steffon had asked her to do so as his liege lord. The boy Erik Storm would make a good knight for her son Maekar one day, she thinks and Eleanor swears the same too, hoping that the future queen would have a better place for her son rather than just being a nobleman’s bastard.
Leila was quite content with having the ladies she had here. Jocasta was family, so she was very grateful to have her around in the place of her sister. Ellisa Branfield is treasured more than ever as the next year she would be giving up her position in her household to get married to the lord of house Forrester. Ashara Dayne and Elia Martell the greatest of comforts as they know her better than these ladies besides Jocasta herself. Lysa and Catelyn Tully were very kind young women, though she realized that Catelyn was tougher than Lysa for Lysa always needed warmth and Catelyn was always fond with understandings.
Though Mallisa Brax was one of the ones Leila treasures almost like family. She was a member of house Brax, a truly loyal house of the Westerlands and in turn loyal to house Lannister and to her. Mallisa was obedient, kind and intelligent, rather pious as well. Whenever Leila saw her, she found a hint of herself within the young woman. Leila wondered if she would be perfect for Jaime.
Jaime has had a hard time writing since his youth and Mallisa was an accomplish writer, more so than her own maester. Perhaps Mallisa could write for him if she were to marry Mallisa. Jaime would never be bored as Mallisa was a woman of great wit just like her brother.
The reason that Leila took Lysa in was to measure the woman who could possibly be her sister by marriage as her father had only told her that Jaime was to be betrothed to Lysa Tully.
Leila was only required to take in only of the Tully girls but Leila was uncertain if Jaime would be happy marrying a woman whom his sister did not approve of. Jaime thought highly of his sisters and young brother opinions more than their father’s and Leila would be in no doubt that Jaime would ask her what she thought of Lysa.
Lysa Tully would be the wrong woman for her brother. Leila knew very well that her brother was not the sort of man who would do well with a woman who constantly and desperately need warmth because Jaime was married to his sword and would probably be more in the training yard rather than with Lysa who had nothing in common with her younger brother at all. But Mallisa, she and Jaime had quite a few things in common.
A union with Mallisa and Jaime together to Leila was more favorable than Lysa and Jaime. Leila was determined to write to her father about it, suggesting perhaps Jocasta or Cersei just wed Edmure Tully himself who would be the lord of Riverrun one day. Jaime would wrap another vassal house into loyalty when he becomes lord of Casterly Rock after their father’s death if he marries Mallisa.
After a day out with everyone, they all ate in the Lion’s Den together with music and poems being sang and read aloud to their pleasure. They ate lobsters, fish and shrimps filled with garlic and butter, goose cooked in the spit with salt and peppered potatoes, cabbage soup with turnips, carrots, potatoes and parsley, sweet apple tarts drizzled with cream cheese and strawberries, lemon cakes with crushed raspberry sauce and some delicious spiced Dornish reds for the adults and Nimerodian blue cidar for the children. The food was not only delicious but the company and conversations were wonderful.
The young ones played card games all night, Obara and Aegon constantly going against each other in the final rounds, often having them win alternatingly which caused their parents to bet on whoever was going to win that round. Oberyn would tell them stories of the books he had read in the Citadel, the happiest in listening to his uncle’s every word was Maekar who was often fond listening to stories from his mother and father.
The adults put every child to sleep and rest when they were starting to rub their eyes and cry. Of course, Leila allowed the children to sleep together in her children’s quarters and as they were many, she had to make them share. Aegon slept beside his brother Maekar, Visenya and Rhaenys, Aemon and Daemon, Obara and Nym shared a bed while Leila and Tyene shared.
The adults did not sleep when they put the children to bed and instead started to play daring games after drinking all of the Dornish wine in the cellars Leila had, though Leila had tried to remain as sober as possible. She still had letters to write and work to be done afterwards. Oberyn and Leila had conversations throughout the night in the very empty corner of her ballroom’s solar and it was obvious to her that he was drunk then due to the fact that he kept laughing at things he usually was not laughing about.
Oberyn and Ellaria’s relationship was despite the devotion they had for one another, it was an open relationship where they would always be allowed to find their pleasures elsewhere. They both watched as Ellaria seduced one of Leila’s handsome guardsmen.
Leila could not help but think that it suited Oberyn to be in a relationship that had no restrictions. She wondered then if he would have been suited to be a one woman man, tied to her forever as her husband was.
She knew Oberyn loved her and loved her still without any doubts. But she had to wonder if he would have taken a paramour after they wed. Would he have been tired bedding her and ask her for an open relationship just like Ellaria in order to not break his vows to her? Leila did not know, perhaps she will never know. But she knew one thing. Their lives now suited them more than what they could have been together. And both of them were satisfied about it.
“I think the man is blushing. Oh a muscular and lean man and yet, a green boy when a woman barely touches his shoulder!” Oberyn commented as he turned to Leila. “Who is that guardsman? Is he new? I haven’t seen him before.”
“That is my cousin, Simeon.” Leila responded to him with a small smile, drinking blue cidar. “He’s a Lannister of Lannisport. My other cousin, the future lord of Lannisport sent him to me to replace our other cousin who got married.”
“Why does he not have the Lannister features? Where is the golden hair of lions? Where are the tough green eyes? Where is it? Why does he not have it? Is he a bastard or?...” Leila smacked his hand as she gasped causing him to obnoxiously laugh at his words. “What? It is true, he does not look like you or your cousin Damon or even your lord father.”
“He looks like his mother who is a Crakehall. And he is not a bastard, gods forbid if he was, he would be treated worse by my uncle.” Leila retorted to him as he listened to her. “Is it bad for a child to look like his other parent? Some of my children look like me and yours too, are they bastards too?”
“You know I merely jest.” Oberyn exclaimed in reply. “I did not mean to get it there, Leila.”
“Still, Simeon is not a bastard. He is a cousin of mine, a true born cousin.” Leila says softly as she drank from her goblet. “Though bastard or not, I would still treat him like family.”
“You Lannisters breed like rabbits.” Oberyn commented, hiccupping as Leila laughed at his comments. “Reminding me of the Tyrells or the Tullys. Fish and flowers breed fast like lions.”
“Well, we do not mind having many children in our households. It is a welcome thing.” Leila explained. “Family is all my family will ever have in the end, I suppose.”
“Do you believe that to be true?” Oberyn asked her. “Is your family all you will ever have in the end?”
“I suppose so.” Leila responded to him, her lips in a small smile. “I can lose all of these, all of the riches and power I have and all of that would not matter to me. The hardest thing for me to lose is my family. My father, despite how tough and rather strict he is, he is a man I would wish not to lose. My siblings, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my entire family. My children and my husband, most of all. Even you, Elia, Mors and Ashara. I would rather lose my life before I lose all of you.”
“I suppose I should say the same.” Oberyn says softly, slightly sobered by what she had said. “You and all of the people I love, I would rather lose myself than lose you all.”
“Especially me?” Leila asked as she looked him in the eyes and found that there were still the sparks and stars that she saw in him all those years ago.
He smiled at her and said, “Especially you.”
“And yet things are different.” She says, turning away from him as she did not wish to see his pained look with her own two eyes. The past was gone and as much as she loved Oberyn, she was a married woman and she had felt love for her own husband. She could not do anything to hurt her children or her husband and furthermore, hurt Oberyn by knowing she could not give him a straight answer. She was standing by this point. “I think, I think…I should go.”
“Don’t leave yet.” Oberyn pleaded with her, taking her wrist into his hand. “Please, stay. Even for a little more time. Please.”
Leila sighed and looked at him, piercing her lips into a small line. She nodded and sat down once more, his hand not letting go of her wrist as she looked at him. Leila knew that in the morning, it will pass. He is merely drunk and everything is magnified when you are drunk. Even longing and pain.
“So, is there more you wish to talk about?”
“Not tonight.” Leila heard him say as she felt her hands intertwined with his. “Just stay with me, seated here. Is that alright with you?”
Leila could find that he was breaking and she wondered how long he has covered up the fact that he was a broken man. Are all those smiles and jests and laughter and things that he has shown her over the years in the means of friendship all been a lie, a façade to hide all of the broken pieces that would never be whole again?
All of the sudden, Leila wanted to cry. Wanted to cry for this first love of hers, to wish that she could do something to comfort him but she knew she can’t. The moment she wed another man, she knew that she has broken him. And she could never put him back to the way he was when they first met. Because that man was gone and this is all that he left behind.
“Yes.” Leila says as they leaned back over the chair and looked at the sky.
The sky that was filled with stars where the hopes and dreams of the past lay.
But those dreams had long been gone.
They had never come true.
LEILA LANNISTER HAD HER GUARDSMEN PUT OBERYN TO BED A FEW HOURS AFTER HE FELL ASLEEP FROM DRUNKNESS WHILE THEY SAT TOGETHER UNDERNEATH THE STARS. Leila had yet to sleep herself, opting to go handle her own business after Oberyn had been put to his bed. Ellaria thanked her earlier when she was about to go to their bedchambers in the morning after her time with her cousin. Leila had her own maester send moon tea to Ellaria to avoid her getting pregnant which Ellaria was thankful for. Leila could not truly sleep as in her mind, the broken figure of Oberyn Martell haunted her all night and not even work could remove that thought.
All this time, he was not okay. He did not truly accept that everything had changed. Leila did not understand how she could move forward with her life knowing that loving him had ruined him for the worst. She did not understand why it had to be that way, why is love the reason of breaking someone? Why is it that way when love was supposed to bring joy and delight, hopes and dreams turned into reality for two souls that loved? And yet in this case, love is a torture that is never ending and painful to bear when the person you love has already mated with another.
Leila did not know anything but guilt for loving her husband who was the man who has replaced Oberyn by her side. Oberyn had done so much for her. He defended her honor in a duel, he suffered exile for her and yet she was not married to him. She did not fight hard enough for him just as he had for her.
It’s not that Rhaegar did anything less than what Oberyn had. Rhaegar fought his father and became his own man upon her advice, he took care of her and gave her the best children she could ever imagine. Leila could not help but feel torn inside as the thought of the two great men in her life quarreled in her. How could she live knowing that those two men tore her inside by just giving her all she could not imagine to have? Such passion and affection.
But there was one difference between them.
Oberyn often said how he loves her and Rhaegar, he….He never has.
Leila didn’t feel discouraged by the fact that he does not say it, he shows her how much he loves her already. Rhaegar proved himself to be a worthy man to be loved by all and most especially by her. The man would be spending all day in work, arguments and backstabbing and you would find him later on tired and weary but laughing and playing with his children or holding his wife, telling her everything that had happened that day and playing his lyre for her.
Leila did not need to hear it, that’s what she thinks. Her mother told her that her father usually never said anything to her about love but she could feel it, she could feel the overwhelming feeling of his love.
But somehow, inside her the longing to hear all of the loving words the way Oberyn did, not only the feeling of the hand or the touch of the lips. There was the urgency to hear those words, to be reassured that they were true.
Leila sighed as she slumped on her chair, looking over the beautiful rising sun kissing the landscape with one big swoop over the large windows. Her work was not done but she needed to finish them immediately to send have her maester send these letters to their destinations.
But as she started to try and get herself back into her senses and return to work, the door opened gently like a lullaby and her eyes travelled to the man wearing a black cloak with a red three headed dragon over his shoulder. Leila smiled widely as the sight was hit by the ray of sunlight, standing to greet her silver prince.
Rhaegar Targaryen looked exceptionally tired, with small hints of darkness under his eyes and weariness filling him but he still looked handsome regardless. Rhaegar smiled tiredly at his wife, bending slightly to peck at her lips for a moment but Leila pulled him into a kiss, which he returned with great pleasure as his smile widened and his hand over the jaw of her face.
When they parted, Leila suddenly started to check him. Leila had been very uncertain if her husband would be safe in King’s Landing after what happened to Mors. With the king turning mad and ruthless, Leila had often checked her husband if he was injured at all or hurt, worrying for him. Rhaegar found it rather paranoia of her but he knew it to be for a good reason and found it utterly endearing of his wife to do. Rhaegar smiled at her as he kissed her again, causing her to smile with relief as their lips moved along together once more. At last, he was home to her for the first time in a few months.
“Thank the gods you’ve finally returned to me and the children.” Leila whispered as she rested her head upon his shoulder. “I prayed every day to the gods to ensure that you were safe.”
“And here I am, alive and well and home to you and our family.” He responded to her, taking her hands into his. “I wanted to see you as soon as I got off the saddle. I couldn’t bear another moment without you by my side.”
“I know it is for our family’s safety is the reason why you have not brought us back to court but I just, it keeps us apart for too long.” Leila sighed as he kissed her hand, savoring its feeling and touch. “I just wish the king is much better so that you and I can be together with the children always.”
“But you and I know well that my father is not going to be well any longer and it entails me great duty to carry out his work for as long as it maybe.”
“But you suffer from it.” Leila tells her husband, looking up to meet his gaze. “Your conscience suffers because your father is doing such cruel things, you feel your heart suffer because your father mistreats your mother. You suffer deeply, Rhaegar.”
“I was always born to suffer, my dear wife. As we all are.” Rhaegar tells his wife, pressing another kiss upon her hand as she pursed her lips at him. “But we shall overcome, as we always have.”
“I know that.” Leila sighed. “The gods will bring us mercy in our darkest hours, yes. I know.”
“I see I have disturbed your work.” Rhaegar exclaimed to her, looking at the stacks of letters on her desk. “And judging by what you’re doing, you have yet to eat to break your fast.”
“You know me so well.” Leila smiled softly as he chuckled. “I take it you had went to the kitchens before you came here?”
“And to your servants to fetch us a hot bath before we go to bed.” Rhaegar added as she shook her head and giggled at him. “Yes, I know you have not slept either. The castellan told me we have guests. Oberyn and Ellaria and their daughters.”
“Yes, they came to visit me when they heard I was here in Dorne.” She says, kissing the part of his chest that held his heart. “Does that bother you, husband?”
“Why would I be bothered on who you are friends with, Leila?” Rhaegar says as he turns her around and wraps his arms around her causing her to laugh and then giggle as he pecked at her neck. “I know you would never do such thing to hurt me, as I would never do anything to hurt you. We have proved to each other that we desire each other and no one else. Why does that have to change?”
“I think our children are the proof of all of that.” Leila turned her head to look at her husband who chuckled. “We have many of them.”
“And we shall have many more.” Leila threw him a look. “With your consent of course. I should think that we already have seven children, we can stop.”
“But we’ll miss having young babies crying and keeping us up late at night.” Leila tells her husband. “Our children are growing up so fast. Especially Aegon. That boy hit a bullseye today.”
“Truly?” Rhaegar’s eyes glowed beautifully at the news of that. He was always proud of his children but Leila was sure Aegon was his favorite. He smiled. “He would make a good warrior one day, I am sure of it.”
“But perhaps a better scholar, just like you.” Leila retorted back to her husband as he raised a brow. “After that, he hid in the library again with Maekar. That boy had read at least a few simple tales of history with Mallisa today.”
Rhaegar had to chuckle at that. “Our young dragon is indeed growing up so fast. And bringing his younger brother with him? That is very much like Aegon.”
“They will indeed be such a pair.” Leila nodded her head. “A prince of Dragonstone and a prince of Duskendale, our two boys.”
“I wanted to see them, see if they could remember me.”
That was Rhaegar’s greatest fear as a father, well at least for now. He feared that with him being away for too long from his children can make them forget that they actually have a father. It happened with Aegon once, after he had been gone for six moons during her pregnancy with the twin princesses. Leila had not seen her husband feel so defeated before with her son hiding behind her skirts as he watched his son longingly.
Leila assures him that they won’t forget about him again and that she brings him up to the children as often as she could, reads his letters to them and shows them sketches of him but he still worries. He loved them fiercely, all loving fathers do and he would do anything to keep them safe. That is why whenever he comes home, they are around him for as long as they are awake, teaching them how to play instruments, to speak Valyrian and to read, to ride and to write. He does all he can to spend time with them, even things he would not see himself do, all for the thought that maybe he would go home ever again because of his father’s paranoia.
What if his father decides to have him killed? What will become of his children then and his poor devoted wife? He did not want to leave knowing he had not seen them and cared for them. He wanted them to remember him, so even if he does perish in something terrible, they would remember him as a loving man. A father who loved them no matter what happens.
“They do not forget you, don’t worry.” Leila assures him softly. “They love and adore you, Rhaegar. They missed you.”
“As I miss them.” He gave her a small smile as he kissed her brow. “But I doubt they would be awake at this hour. It’s too early for them to wake and we would be sleeping after we eat. I cannot imagine how tired you have are to run around caring for the children and working while you have guests.”
“We shall see them later in the morrow anyway.” Leila tells him as he nodded. “Now, I suppose while we wait for our food…”
“The business of politics will be told as of now.” Rhaegar says to his wife as she nodded, sitting down on her chair and as she does, he leans over the table while holding her hands. His face suddenly turns solemn. “Are you sure you wish to hear it? All of it?”
“Oh no, it is worse than what I expect it to be.” Leila frowns softly. “You look agitated, Rhaegar. What has happened?”
“Too much.” He answers with a deep sigh. “Your lord father had resigned as the hand of the king.”
Leila’s face would have been priceless had it been a funny thing that had been told but Rhaegar knew as well as she that this was terrible news. “Are you jesting with me, Rhaegar?” He did not answer but only sighed heavily. “Rhaegar, this is terrible news. Our marriage may be very useful in keeping the peace but by the gods, my father resigning as hand can bring a civil war.”
“I know that well, too well.” Rhaegar nodded at his wife. “My father is more paranoid than ever, I suppose. He was reluctant to let me leave the city, actually.”
“Why did my father resign at all?” Leila asked her husband. “It must be too great a reason. My father had always suffered in silence. He took all your father’s jests and humiliation with grace. But he never resigned about it...”
“Unless it was about his family.” Rhaegar completed his wife’s words. “My father named your brother to the kingsguard in the place of ser Hugh Grandison.”
“Jaime?” Leila’s eyes widened as she felt as if she was going to collapse then and there.
Her brother, her own younger brother was going to protect a mad king. He would be a servant of evil, a hostage of evil. Leila could not help but imagine her brother’s joyous face of being named to the glorious and honor bound institution but the fury and red face of her father as he was named into the kingsguard. The last she saw him was a few moons ago, telling him to be careful and to be smart. But this, this was not smart. This was madness.
“Oh dear gods. Not Jaime.”
“Arthur told me a rumor.” Rhaegar told his wife. “He says it was your sister’s doing, charming the king as you once done. It was her idea to put your brother into the kingsguard.”
“Oh Cersei.” Leila shook her head at the madness that had become of her family. But she understood why Cersei had done it. She and Jaime had always been inseparable and seeing him for the first time in a long time, that must have made her wish to have him once more.
“Your lord father and your lady sister had returned to Casterly Rock.” Rhaegar informs her as he played with her fingers. “But now my father thinks I will make war on him now that your father is no longer hand, to put me on the throne with your sister and your brother as my spies and my agents. But by the gods, it is already sin enough to talk back to my father but to make war on him, it will land me to the seven hells. No matter how mad or how much I hate him, he is still my father.”
“But you know that people will feel truly uneasy about your father continuing to serve as king.” Leila tells her husband. “What do you plan to do?
“To do everything as civil and as well as possible.” He answers his wife. “With the gods mercy, there would be no blood shed, not my father’s nor not the realm’s.”
“Now I worry about the queen and Viserys more than ever, Rhaegar.” Leila says to her husband, eyes full of fear and things that could happen now that everything had changed for the worse. “They need to be safe, Rhaegar.”
“I have requested your cousin Damon to do all he can to distract my father and as well as the very few I trust in the city to do what they must to keep my mother and brother safe and moved their quarters as far as it can be from my father’s.” Rhaegar sighed with shame. “I feel so ashamed that it is all I can do for her. My father has her be watched all the time, even Viserys. The gods are ashamed of me too, I think. Just as you are.”
“Oh, husband, I could never be ashamed of you nor will I send you away in a curse because of it.” Leila sighed, kissing her husband’s fingers. “You are doing all you can, as quietly as you can. You have a family now and you cannot be reckless anymore. It would be idiotic and feckless to do what you can with a loud noise.”
“I just wish I could send my mother to safety, to keep her away from my father.” Leila sighed as she stood up and took her husband into her arms. “What if my father did that to you? Made you and our children suffer. I could not ever handle that. I would rather die than let that happen.”
“And it will not.” Leila assures him, rubbing her husband’s back. “The days will get better, the sun will shine on us again and the gods will smile on us again. We will not perish any longer. We only need to have faith.”
“What did I deserve to have a wife like you?”
“Everything.” Leila smiled as she faced him once more and kissed him.
The food arrived then.
LYANNA STARK HAD FELT SICK TO HER STOMACH AT THE THOUGHT THAT SHE WOULD BE FAR FROM HOME SOON. She looked through the courtyard as she watched her brothers laugh and cheer each other on as they shot arrows into the targets that had been set up a few feet away from them.
Lyanna had not wanted to go south. She knew it was not her place. Starks are northern breeds, they would not do well in the south for the south was not their home. But she had to go. His father had promised her to go after all. Or they would be forsaking vows and honours all together and that is not what her father would want. The Stark name was never one that looked well shamed and dented. Lyanna did not want to be the one to cause the family's shame either.
Lyanna was going south to serve the princess of Dragonstone, a great woman from the stories she had heard from others. Leila Lannister was the wife of prince Rhaegar and the mother of his many children. Lyanna wondered at all the stories Ned and Robert told her about the princess. That she was a great skilled rider, a smart woman who could speak other languages and an exceptional hunter.
Leila Lannister was also known as to be perfect in all ways. With her green eyes like a wild grassy field and her blonde hair like the bright sunny sun, all the seven kingdoms considered her a great beautiful woman. Lyanna recalled that some men in the north thought she was a goddess and created a group which met weekly to speak about her and their praises of her. Ned wrote about that to the princess herself who found great amusement and immediately wrote to the men themselves who were so much in awestruck that some fainted or even wept in joy.
Lyanna wanted to know everything about the woman she was going to serve and found her brother Ned had first hand experience knowing the princess and is a pen pal to her. Ned had gotten home from the Vale a few weeks before and the first thing Lyanna asked him after he came down from his horse was about Leila.
Ned had met the princess personally even before she was married to the prince and told his sister that she must not be nervous about meeting Leila. She was kind to everyone she meets according to her brother and no doubt she would be kind to Lyanna as well and even teach her a thing or two. Well, she taught Ned how to sew some clothes after he ripped his tunic on a ride with her.
Her betrothed Robert Baratheon knew Leila as well, having been Rhaegar's cousin he was at court handful of times and met her there. He even introduced her to court himself. Robert was astounded she asked him about Leila but he knew that Leila always needed ladies in waiting as most of them are almost always married. So he told her everything, all her likes and dislikes and much more. Perhaps that is the only thing Lyanna would be thankful to Robert for.
Despite having to marry him as soon as she turns into a more acceptable age, she did not trust him to be a good husband. Ned even admitted about that young bastard girl he had in the Vale. Lyanna found that he may say he loved her but she thinks he does not mean it. Perhaps if serving the future queen would be favourable to her, she might consider telling her father that she would not wed anymore and be a lady in waiting for the rest of her life instead. At least then Leila Lannister would grant her freedom.
"You look too serious for your own good." She turned around to see her father smile at her gently. This was perhaps the first time Lyanna ever saw her father age. Certainly, the last few years had made it so. "What are you thinking about, Lya?"
"About leaving Winterfell." Lyanna admitted to her father. "About serving the princess. I am nervous about the changes happening so fast father."
"But isn't change supposed to be welcomed, to be appreciated?" The lord of Winterfell raised a brow at his daughter with a small smile on his lips as she sighed. "My daughter, nothing remains the same forever. Some things have to change. You are a growing young girl and I know that this opportunity to serve the princess will help you grow. Your brother has nothing but praises about the princess. I have no doubt you will learn so much there, Lya. You will be most happy there."
"I just worry that I will shame our family by doing things wrong or not being able to reach the expectations of the princess."
"The princess will love you, Lya." Her father assures her as he squeezed both her shoulders. "And she would be a fool not to do so. You are a smart young woman and the princess will enjoy having you by her side. As will the other women in her service."
"I hope so, father." Lyanna smiled softly.
"I wish your mother was here to see you grow into a fine young woman. She would be very proud to know of how wonderful and dutiful her beloved daughter is."
"I know she is watching us, father." Lyanna assures her father with a small sad smile. "And she will be at peace to know that we are all well."
"I know she is." Rickard Stark nodded at his daughter as he smiled once more. He placed an arm around her shoulder. "Come, let us join your brother and show them who was a marksman before she was ten."
Lyanna grinned at her father's words.
This would be the last time that they would truly be happy.
For when she returns, Lyanna would be a changed woman forever.
MORE TARGARYEN CHILDREN!!!! SOME OBEREILA!!!! SOME RHAEILA!!!! SOME LYANNA STARK!!!!
This chapter is jammed pack and I wrote it in one day which is astounding because my phone was not touched at all and I just sat in front of my laptop blankly and ate by my computer.
Anyway, the reason I have not been updating is because one school has started for me and it is the last year of high school for me. Second, I have been trying to update Queen of Storms and third me and targaryxn are planning something together which we can't reveal yet but its just sort of amazing.
A little thing for this chapter, there would be quite a few time skips and such like this chapter. But the next chapter, we get to see Lyanna Stark and some scenes with other characters including Leila and Rhaegar and possibly the moment we have been dreading, the Tourney of Harrenhal.
Also, who do you think would be perfect face claims for the Targaryen children?
But I do hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to see you soon on the next one!
Xoxoxoxo Author