Elijah
It was already time for Sai to go back home for the summer, and I ain't even told her bout Carmen. At dinner she even asked me, yet I lied right in her face. Guilt and shame spread across me at the thought of it.
I want to keep Carmen a secret, in fact I don't want her in my life anymore. But something is making me go back. Something is causing me to cheat on this lovely woman that I get to be with.
I might be the dumbest nigga on earth.
She caressed my leg as I focused on the road ahead of me. Things like this I would miss over the break. "Sai, you really don't know what you do to me." She chuckled. "And right now, I'm being tempted."
The events of that night played over and over again in my head. That feeling of being inside her was going to stay with me for these next few weeks because FaceTime and texting sure as hell wasn't finna be enough. I wanted to forever remember the feel of her because I didn't know how much time I was going to have left with her. When I tell her about Carmen I don't even expect her to take me back. It's selfish, I know. But I'll hold on to this secret if it gives me the chance to be with her for longer than I deserve.
Sai's hands moved up and down my leg, arousing me more. "Imma miss you, Eli. Ughhh, can't you just come with me?" She whined. I reminded her that she needed to spend time with her family and get away from college for a little. Shit, I'm not tryna come back here until August.
"Text A and make sure she's on her way. I don't want y'all to be late." I grabbed her wrist and placed her hand back on her leg. "And keep your hands to yourself. You got me hot and shit," I mumbled the last part.
After parking, I grabbed two out of three bags and we headed to her terminal. We parked pretty close; I didn't feel like walking and neither did she. "Sai, you're gonna be in Dallas for like two months. What you got all this stuff for?" I assumed she still had belongings at home. These bags were heavy as hell, so I hoped she paid for overweight luggage.
"You hush. Men will never understand why we pack so much. Bet you won't be complaining when I send you gifts though." She turned and smirked at me. I mean mugged and continued until we were inside and in the check in area.
My phone vibrated though I ignored it. Whatever it was definitely could wait. I got a tad bit attached to Sai and now that I wasn't going to see her for a little while made me frustrated. Imma get over it soon though. "Elijah. I see you pouting over there." She turned around and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Whatever. I already know you gon cheat on me and break my heart." She rolled her eyes. The irony of this.
"I just might, if you don't get these bags on that conveyor belt." Sai shrugged and handed the woman at the desk her boarding pass. I picked up both black suitcases and dropped them quickly on the scale.
"It's nice that you already went ahead and paid for extra baggage," the white woman at the front smiled at us. Sai stared at her with a straight face, which made me laugh. "How long have you two been married?" The attendant asked. She started back typing in things on the screen in front of her.
"Oh we--"
"Actually we're newlyweds. Instead of going on a honeymoon, she decided she wanted to take a little relaxation time." Sai looked back at me with confusion. I shrugged and played along. "There's nothing wrong with that, sweetie. I can tell she makes you very happy. Enjoy your flight." The woman lifted the bags and we watched them float away on the belt.
When we were far enough away, Sai stopped in front of me. "You play too much, boy." She crosses her arms and stepped closer. "It doesn't matter. You like me." She blushed even though her expression was slightly angry. She was about to say something else when I put my hand in her face. "Look, there go Kaiden." I could tell I was getting on her nerves now.
I gave him some dap and hugged A. "Unfortunately, Imma miss you as well," she kissed her teeth. I thought that Sai had way too much stuff, meanwhile Kaiden was lugging 4 bags and a carryon. "Mane y'all so extra." I shook my head.
"I don't care. You just being mean because I'm not gonna be down here with you." Sai shrugged and hugged Kaiden. "I'm actually going to miss you. Unlike that one," she looked me up and down. I bucked at her. "Shut up and come here." I grabbed her tightly and pulled her close.
We stood like that for a minute, and I swear I didn't want to let go. But the minutes started ticking away and the security line was getting long, so I finally had to. I brought her face up to mine and kissed her pillow soft lips.
"I guess this is bye for now." She pursed her lips. Her arms were still wrapped around me. "It's going to go by like this," I snapped my fingers. I said that more for my benefit, knowing how much I enjoyed her presence. I would miss a hug like this for weeks. I knew she felt the same way too. Chilling with everyone was the most fun I had in a while; we didn't even have to really be doing anything; just chilling with each other was fine. And now, everyone was gone. This was the final send off for the summer.
We let go of each other. I turned to A, and gave her a hug too. She had grown on me as much as everyone else did. I valued the time we spent together and would miss her as well. A's relationship with Kaiden was going well too, and we were all so happy for them. When everyone was done with their goodbyes, Sai and A stood in the TSA line. By now she was pouting.
We waited for them to go through the metal detectors and waved goodbye one last time. "Nigga you acting like we never going to see them again. You sprung as hell," Kaiden laughed.
"Maaan whatever. I'll see you then." I gave him some dap and walked off as he said goodbye.
After entering the car I checked my phone, seeing that Tia was going to come over later. That was just like her with these unexpected visits. It didn't matter anyways because I was going to be seeing more of my cousin in the coming weeks. I decided to give her a call letting her know I'm on the way. "I don't got no food at the house, sooo you want me to buy something? Or--" She smacked her teeth. "Don't even worry about it, Imma bring you something. And you better stop eating all this fast food before you start gaining weight." I scoffed and hung up the phone.
A short drive later, I arrived at my apartment. Tia still wasn't there. We leave for home in a couple days so I decided to start packing. I grabbed my largest suitcase and went to the closet, taking things out and folding them up. All the movement made me hot so I turned on the fan. Halfway through my clothes, Tia knocked on my door.
"Yeah bout damn time. I'm hungry as hell--" I opened the door. There was no brown-skinned dreadhead. Instead, there was the light skinned, curly haired Carmen.
"Well perfect timing. I got something you can eat." She smirked. Pushing me to the side, Carmen entered the living room. She grabbed my arm but I pulled away.
"What you doing? I told you we was done." She put her hands on her hips.
The sex was amazing but no one could be Sai for me. Dealing with Carmen was starting to get annoying. And keeping up with lying to Sai was messing with my head. If I was at a point where I could tell Sai I loved her, then why was I still cheating?
"You honestly believe I would give you up easy like that? She's gone ain't she? Who's gonna keep you happy while she's at home?" Carmen stepped closer and put her hand on my chest. She stood on her tip toes and brought my head to her level, planting a deep kiss on my lips.
I pulled away. "Imma be just fine. You need to leave." I pushed her away from me. If I did something like this again, it would come to light in a way I didn't want it to. I wanted to be honest on my own accord; I can't be acting out like this.
But the sex was so damn good, addicting even.
Carmen pushed me down on the sofa. "Let me change your mind." There was no fighting the strong desire I had. I didn't want Carmen; I just wanted to fuck her, to feel in control. Standing right in front of me, she looked the sexiest I had ever seen her. I don't know if it was because I was missing my boo, or if she was actually as attractive as I saw.
Her beauty seemed so effortless; all she had on was a crop top and some shorts. Her body called me. She straddled me, our lips meeting powerfully. She dominated me, sticking her tongue in my mouth. My hands roamed her curvaceous body, gripping her ass tight. She used her hands to get me out of my shirt. I could feel our needs hanging in the air: she wanted me and I wanted her. Carmen broke the kiss and started sucking on my neck, then kissing all the way down to my pants.
She got on her knees and started unbuckling my pants. Her hand grazed me, the touch causing my head to fly back. It was all happening so fast. This is what I wanted, but it wasn't, but it was. I was conflicted, the sex clouding my mind.
I heard the door knob turn. As Carmen lowered her mouth onto my hardness, I could hear bags drop. My eyes flew to the door, when I remembered that I didn't lock it.
"Eli--" Her eyes widened seeing Carmen on her knees. I moved her off of me and fixed myself up. I stood up quickly and searched for the words that would excuse this.
But there was no denying what she saw. I was shirtless, and about to receive head from a woman that wasn't mine, that wasn't Sai.
"Who the fuck is this, Elijah? Who is this?" Tia walked over to where Carmen was, who had stood up by now. She started pointing at her and asking me questions. A sense of familiarity washed over Tia's face. Then I knew that she recognized Carmen from the party. "Wow. Really? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
She turned to Carmen, "And you. Why the hell are you fooling around with someone who is in a relationship? And being friendly with us?" Tia swiveled again, "and you did tell her you have a girlfriend, right?" I nodded in shame. It was as if my own mother was scolding me, listing out the shit I should have known and thought about before getting myself into this mess.
"At least you didn't lie about that," Tia said in a lower tone. With more questions, her volume was increasing by the second. Neither Carmen or I answered her angry remarks. All I wanted my cousin to do was calm down so I could explain. "Tia, chill for a sec--" I tried to reach for her.
"No. Get your side chick out of here first." I grabbed my shirt from the floor and put it on.
"You been silent this whole time. Say something, trick," Tia crossed her arms in front of Carmen.
"My name is Carmen. If you're gonna address me, use my name." Carmen had her hands held behind her back, a stance that I've seen women take when they're about to fight.
"Really? You wanna start shit with me?" Tia already had a rubber band on her arm and she was using it to put her dreads in a ponytail. "You're a damn booty call and you picking a fight? Wassup then?" Tia has her hands up like she was finna throw a punch.
I needed to break this up before it went any further. "Yooo chill out real quick. Come on," I tried pulling Carmen away but she wouldn't budge. She lunged at Tia but I lifted her up and took her outside before her hit could connect. Tia stood there in disbelief, trying to get around me and fight Carmen. I went back in and grabbed her phone, keys, and wallet.
We walked in silence to her car. I handed her her things. "Why you do that?" I asked when she finally got in. She looked around confusedly. "Why you come to my crib and start something? I said we were done. You couldn't respect that?"
She smacked her teeth. "I didn't think you was the type to blame your issues on other people. If you didn't like it, you could have kicked me out before we started sucking face. You liked it, and you can't even deny it." She started up her car, the engine coming alive with the click of a button.
"And I peeped you tryna be funny and start talking to Sai at the party. Leave her out of this."
Carmen chuckled. "Leave her out of this? She has everything to do with this. You're cheating on her with me. And if you really loved her like you say you do, me and you never would have happened. I'm not going to say anything to her about it. Sai's dumber than I though if she stays with you." She rolled up her window and backed out of the spot. Now I had to go back in and face Tia.
When I returned, Tia sat with her leg shaking: a clear sign of anger. Her fists were clenched, too. "Look, I don't know what you think happened but I can explain." I sat down on the single chair next to her.
"There's no explanation of why you would cheat on Sai. You said you changed and we all believed it-- more importantly I believed it. And you turn around and do this? On the day you drop your girlfriend off at the airport you go and get some pussy. Wow, Elijah." She was shaking her head.
I understood and agreed with everything she was saying. How could I undo everything I had worked for? The ups and downs of this relationship had been hard to deal with, but I have never lost my love for Sai.
"And look at the damn position you put me in. Sai is my friend. And now that I know, I'm obligated to tell her."
I ran my hand over my face. "You know you can't do that. Come on, Tia. Don't," I avoided eye contact with her.
"This is going to ruin any friendship that we had. When she finds out, I have to tell her that I knew. She'll never trust either of us again." That was true. It looked like this family had cursed her. Betrayal by one of her best friends and then her boyfriend.
"That's why she can't find out." My eyes shot to Tia. What exactly was she saying?
"What? No I'm done lying to her. I can't--"
She stopped tapping her foot. "How long has this been going on?" I told the story of how we met, going over the fight I had this Sai, the party I went to, and how she ended up in my bed.
"Months. You've been lying for months. And if you could do it then, you can do it now." I couldn't believe what she was saying.
"T, you and Sai are close. How could we do that to her?"
She looked at me with disbelief. "No. How could you do that to her. I haven't done anything wrong. Neither of us are going to speak on it. Stop fucking with Carmen and put this behind you."
"You haven't noticed the way she looks at you? Or the way she talks about you? That's how you know how much she loves you. And if you tell her this, she will be crushed." Tia was right. I never realized how much she was invested in this relationship with me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone I loved.
"Okay. Fine," I replied.
Maybe Tia was right, and the best thing was to put this in the past.
"We're gonna act like this never happened. Does Carmen have any clothes here?" I nodded, and went to my room to get them. Tucked up in a shoebox in the deepest corner of my closet, were some panties and tops that Carmen had left.
Tia sighed when she saw them. I handed her the box with my head held low. She grabbed her purse and phone, along with the box, and headed towards the door. "I put your food in the fridge," and with that, she left.
What the hell did I just agree to?