There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
----
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
-The Fray, "All at Once"
Rachel
"If you wouldn't mind just checking on the apartment once while we're gone, I'd really appreciate it," I said to Jessica as I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder.
She nodded. "No problem. My parents only live about twenty minutes from here, so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Thanks, Jess," I said, hugging her and pushing Miles out the door. "Let's leave them alone," I murmured.
We closed the door behind us and threw our bags in the back of the Jeep. "God, I can't wait to be out of this town," I said, jumping in the passenger seat and bouncing up and down gently.
"Me either," Miles agreed, climbing in and starting the Jeep, turning on the radio.
Luke came down the stairs a few minutes later, looking slightly stressed.
"What's up, bro?" Miles asked as Luke buckled his seatbelt.
Luke sighed heavily. "I don't know... nothing?"
I turned around and stared at him. "Uh-uh. Nice try, Lucas. What's wrong?"
He huffed and sat forward a bit. "Fine. It's Jessica."
I glanced at Miles and then back at Luke. "What about her?"
"I don't know how to explain it. It's like, when I'm with her, I'm happy. She's beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, but..." He trailed off, breaking eye contact with me.
"But... what?"
"I think she likes me more than I like her... and I don't want to hurt her," he confessed.
I chewed my lip. "Oh. Well, maybe the time apart for Thanksgiving will give you some clarity?"
"Yeah, maybe. Now, can we not talk about this anymore?"
"You got it," I agreed, turning the radio up and promptly started singing along.
***
When we got to PCB, I was pretty sure Luke was ready to jump out the window from all the country music we subjected him to.
"Thank God we're here," he mumbled when we pulled into his parents' house. Jane and Adam came out the door.
"Hi, guys!" Jane greeted us, jogging toward us with open arms.
"Hi Ma, Hi Pops," Miles greeted them, then stepping aside so Luke could say hi.
"Rachel, how are you?" Adam asked, pulling me into a hug.
I sighed. "Better now that I'm here," I said truthfully.
"Good. We invited your parents over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow so we could all be together," he said.
My heart swelled. "Really? That's amazing, thank you."
Holidays were still tough at our house, seeing James' empty chair. This would make it a little more bearable.
"Of course," Jane said, and glanced at Adam uneasily.
"What?" Luke asked, immediately picking up on her body language.
"I – uh, well..." she started, and Adam put his arm around her.
"Don't be mad at your mother, but... she invited Katherine and Brooke to dinner as well," he said.
I bit my lip to keep from grinning and elbowed Miles. He winked at me.
Luke's mouth dropped. "Mom! Really? Why would you do that?"
"Come on, Luke," I said, patting his shoulder. "Katherine and Brooke don't have any other family. All they have is each other... wouldn't you rather them be with people who love them on Thanksgiving? I mean, Brooke is still my best friend, and I know you still care about her at least in that way," I pointed out.
"Did you put her up to this?" he asked me, crossing his arms.
"No, she didn't," Jane said. "It was my idea, and you can be mad at me if you want to, but I thought it was the right thing to do. They've had a hard few months too."
Luke sighed and picked up his bag. "Fine... I'm going to go put my bag in my room," he mumbled, leaving the four of us on the driveway.
Miles draped his arm around my shoulders. "Thanks for covering for me, Ma," he said, and I looked up at him in disbelief.
"What? This was your idea?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Yeah. It was... I mean Ma agreed immediately, but I brought it up."
"Why?" I asked, looking between the two of them.
"I didn't tell you this, but the other night when you went out with Jessica, Luke joined me at the second bar you guys went to," he said, leaning against the Jeep.
"What? He did?"
"Yeah. And," he looked at Jane apologetically before he continued, "he had a little bit too much to drink. He told me that he and Jessica hadn't taken the step to being actual 'boyfriend/girlfriend,' and when I asked him why, he told me everything he and Brooke discussed at the play that day. And he told me that he admitted to Brooke that he was still in love with her."
"What?" I exclaimed, looking at Jane and Adam. It was clear that Miles had already told them as much.
"Yeah, did she not tell you that?" he asked.
"No, she just told me that she wanted him to stay with Jessica because she could tell he was happy. She didn't tell me anything about him admitting that," I said, shaking my head.
"Well, he did. And as we all know; kids and drunk people tell the truth. So... while I like Jessica, and I do think she's good for Luke, I can't let my brother make what could possibly be the biggest mistake of his life and give up the woman he really loves. So... I wanted them to have one more chance... and I figure if they can get through this weekend without having a serious conversation, then maybe they really don't belong together... but I had to try. Ma agreed to help," he said, shrugging.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Miles, that's.... my God. That's..."
"Are you disappointed in me? Did I go too far?" he asked, putting his hand on my waist and looking down at me, his blue eyes suddenly fretful.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No. That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. You're amazing, baby," I murmured, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him.
Adam cleared his throat. "We'll be inside," he said, and I could hear the grin in his voice.
Miles smiled against my mouth. "I love you, Rachel," he whispered.
"I love you more," I answered, and he shook his head.
"Don't even start," he said, and I giggled.
"Come on, let's go check on Luke," I said, leading him inside.
Miles
By the time Rachel's parents showed up for dinner on Thanksgiving, Luke seemed to have chilled out. All last night, though, he pouted and moped around the house.
"Mom, Dad!" Rachel squealed, hugging them tightly.
"Hi honey," her mom greeted, and her dad kissed her forehead.
"Thank you for having us over. Where do you want this?" he asked as he held out the casserole and pumpkin pie they had brought.
"I'll take them," she said, holding her hands out.
We sat on the couch talking and watching football while Ma and Susan finished up some last-minute cooking.
knock knock.
Rachel glanced at me and then nodded at Luke. "Get the door, Luke," she said.
He glared at her and stood up, taking a deep breath before he turned the doorknob.
"Hi," he greeted awkwardly. "Happy Thanksgiving. Come on in," he mumbled, stepping aside to let Brooke and Katherine in. Katherine greeted us and went to the kitchen to help the moms.
"Brookie!" Rachel exclaimed, standing up to embrace her. "You look beautiful!"
And she really did. She had put some weight on, making her look much healthier than she had in months. Her black hair had been cut to shoulder length, and she had lost the dark makeup around her eyes.
"Thanks, Rach," she murmured. She turned to me and I stood up to hug her. "Hey Miles," she greeted, giving me a peck on the cheek.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm really good, actually. Thank you for asking," she said, smiling warmly at me.
I nodded and stepped back, shoving Luke forward in what I hoped was a subtle way, but judging by the look on Brooke's face, I had failed.
"H – Hey Luke," she stammered. "How are you?"
The back of his neck was turning red, and he ran his hand through his hair. "I- I'm good, and you?"
"Good. How's school?"
"Miles?" Ma called from the kitchen. "I need you to come open this bottle of wine!"
"Yes ma'am!" I said eagerly, almost knocking the vase of flowers off the end table to get out of the room.
"I'll help," Rachel said, knowing damn good and well she didn't know how to use a corkscrew – and it only took one to open a bottle of wine.
Brooke
I took a deep breath as I watched Miles and Rachel abandon me. Shit.
"Wa – want to sit down?" Luke asked, and I almost wondered if he had developed a stutter.
"Sure," I said, dropping into the recliner so we wouldn't end up sitting next to each other.
He sat on the loveseat across from me – the loveseat where we had made out so many times, where he had brushed my hair out of my eyes and told me he loved me – Damnit, Brooke, I thought. Stop it. You fucked that up – YOU, no one else.
I swallowed and averted my eyes, and we sat in uncomfortable silence for at least three minutes.
"So," he said so loudly that I jumped. "How's Sephora?"
"Oh," I said, pulling my legs up under my body. "It's good. You know they made me assistant manager, right?"
"Yeah, I think Rachel mentioned that," he said. "That's pretty cool."
"Yeah... it's – it's good," I said. Now I'm the one stuttering.
He nodded and tapped his foot on the floor, and I rocked rhythmically in the recliner.
"Luke, Brooke, come on, it's time to eat!" Jane called.
We both jumped up immediately.
Thank God.
***
Dinner was exponentially less awkward, since there was delicious food to eat and everyone else in the room to talk to.
Halfway through the meal, Rachel, with her little cheesy emotional heart, spoke up. "Hey, why don't we go around the table and say something we're thankful for?"
"Aww, good idea," Katherine agreed, glancing at me. "I'll start. I'm thankful that Brooke has made a full recovery and is even sitting here with us right now," she said, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. I smiled at her, tears filling my eyes.
As we went around the table, my heart started to feel lighter. Everyone mentioned me at least once in their little monologue, and it made me feel so loved.
"I'm thankful for Miles and his protective nature, even though he'll hardly let me go to the bathroom alone," Rachel said, and everyone laughed. "I'm also thankful for everyone at this table, and that Brooke is back to the person we all know and love," she finished, blowing me a kiss.
"I'm thankful for Rachel, my brother, and the fact that I have a family again... and that Brooke is back with us again," Miles said, and I grinned at him.
Then it was my turn. I took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, I could go on and on, but all I'll say is this: I'm thankful that any of you are even speaking to me right now, because it would've been really easy for you to just give up. And I'm so glad you didn't. I love you all," I said, my voice cracking as I tried not to look at Luke, who was right next to me.
Luke cleared his throat and looked up. "I'm thankful for all of you... and the fact that I've gotten a chance to have my brother in my life. Thanks for being there, Miles."
"No problem, bro," he answered, and my heart fell a little. He didn't mention me... not specifically.
But why would he?
Luke
After dinner, we offered to help clean up the dishes, but the four of us were pushed out of the kitchen and told to relax.
"Hey, let's go walk on the beach," Miles said. "It's really warm for November."
"Yes!" Rachel said, immediately grabbing her hoodie and pulling it over her head.
"Okay," I agreed.
Brooke shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe I'll stay and – "
"No way," Rachel said, hooking her arm through hers and pulling her out the door to the Jeep. She crawled in the backseat with her, leaving shotgun for me for once.
Miles grabbed his keys and glanced at me. "You okay with this, bro?"
"Yeah, it's fine," I said.
And it was.
In fact, I felt a strange sensation spreading through my body – Nerves? Butterflies? No. Not butterflies...
We drove the ten minutes to the beach and parked at St. Andrews, Rachel and Miles' spot. It really was warm for November, at least 60 degrees. But down by the gulf, the breeze chilled the air just a bit.
Rachel and Miles ran ahead of us, splashing each other in the surf. He picked her up and spun her around, kissing her with passion. I glanced away, sitting on a rock near a sand dune.
Brooke appeared next to me. "Is it okay if I sit?" she asked.
"Of course," I said, scooting over to make room for her.
She sat cross-legged on the rock, facing me. "How are you, really, Luke?" she asked, peering at me with those chocolate eyes of hers – those eyes I still longed to get lost in.
I shifted to where I was facing her. "I'm okay. I – I just..."
"Do you miss me?" she asked so quietly I almost didn't hear her over the crash of the waves.
I closed my eyes. "You already know the answer to that, Brooke."
She put her hand on my forearm and scooted toward me. "Do I?"
I swallowed, the touch of her hand on my skin almost electric.
I once described our connection as magnetic... like there was some sort of invisible pull drawing us together. And damnit if that pull wasn't still there.
I looked up at her, and against my better judgment, brushed her hair out of her face, tucking a strand behind her ear.
"Yeah... I miss you, Brooke," I murmured.
"I miss you too, Luke," she answered, her lips parting.
"I – We shouldn't," I whispered, leaning toward her.
"No... we shouldn't," she agreed, moving toward me so her knees were crossing over mine.
I let out a shaky breath, and she put her hand on my cheek. I put my hand over hers and pulled her face to mine.
"If we do this," I breathed. "it changes everything."
"I know," she whispered. "That's what I want – what I need. I need you, Luke."
With that, I couldn't stand it another second. Our lips touched, and it was fire and ice, love and lust, bitter and sweet.
It was everything I knew I had been missing, and nothing I ever wanted to admit.
There was no more denying it, no more running from it.
I was still madly, genuinely, forever in love with Brooke Kane.