Don't look back

Af mrsjonesgrimesrhee

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Mary is four, and running, running, running. Running from the monsters, the terror. Running for her life, in... Mere

One
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Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty One
Twenty two
Twenty three
Twenty four
Twenty five
Twenty six
Twenty seven
Twenty eight
Twenty nine
Thirty
Thirty one
Thirty two
Thirty three
Thirty four
Thirty five
Thirty six
Thirty seven
Thirty eight
Thirty nine
Forty
Forty one
Forty two
Forty three
Forty four
Forty five
Forty six
Forty seven
Forty eight
Fifty
Fifty one
Fifty two
Fifty three
Fifty four
Fifty five
Fifty six
Fifty seven
Fifty eight
Fifty nine
Sixty
Q&A
Bonus chapter
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Forty nine

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Af mrsjonesgrimesrhee

"Hey, Mary Moo," Glenn said quietly, "I know it's early, but I see your daddy coming."
Mary shot out of bed, and ran outside, Glenn on her heels. "Daddy!" She shouted, running into his arms the second he got out of his car.
"Hey, baby girl!" Rick laughed, hugging her tightly.
"What's the bus?" Mary asked in confusion.
"This is the people from Woodbury. And guess what? There's some kids."
"Who?"
"A boy a little older than Carl, a little girl a few years older than you, a little boy a bit older than you too, and a toddler."
"A little girl?" Mary asked excitedly.
"Yeah. Are you gonna go meet her?" Rick smiled back.
"But daddy, I'm shy at new people."
"Shall I go over?" Rick sighed with a smile, but before Mary could reply, Carl grabbed Rick's arm.
"What is this?" He hissed angrily.
"They're gonna join us." Rick replied, his voice firm. Carl scoffed, then walked away.
"He's changed." Mary mumbled, and Rick kissed the top of her head.
"Let's go get you to meet this little girl." Rick said, changing the subject, and walking over to a little dark haired girl and her mother.
"Hey, this is my little girl, Mary, and she's desperate to meet your daughter." Rick smiled to the woman.
"Hi Mary." The woman smiled softly. "Molly, say hi."
"Hi! I'm Molly." The child smiled happily.
"I had a friend called Molly," Mary whispered, "remember?" Rick smiled at her gently, and kissed her forehead.
"Introduce yourself, go on. Sorry, she's very shy."
"I'm Mary," the little girl breathed, "and I'm four."
"I'm seven." Molly smiled. "We can be best friends."
Mary smiled shyly, then passed Molly one of her wooden Noah's Ark animals, the horse. "Thank you!" Molly grinned, then put her hand in her hair and took out a pretty hair grip, then attached it to the end of one of Mary's cornrow braids.
"Thank you." Mary smiled happily.
"Mary, what are you wearing?" Rick laughed suddenly, looking at Mary wearing one of Carl's shirts, "Okay, you're in pyjamas. Let's go get you dressed."
"Okay. Bye." Mary smiled softly to her new friend.
"Bye! We'll play later." Molly nodded seriously as they walked away.
"See? She seems nice." Rick smiled softly. He took her to her cell, and smiled softly. "What clothes are you gonna wear?"
"Dungarees." Mary grinned, and Rick passed her the dungarees and a shirt. She got changed, then grabbed Rick's hand. "Are they all nice people?"
"Yes. All the nasty men are gone. Okay? It's families." Rick assured gently.
"Okay. Daddy, are we safe now?"
"Yes. We're going to be safe and happy and this is... Hopefully this will be our forever home."
"Good." Mary grinned, then her smile fell. "Daddy, when is Carl gonna be nice again?"
Rick didn't know how to answer her question, so he simply sighed, then said teasingly, "You've been spending far too much time with Daryl. Going to, not gonna."
"Uncle Daryl." Mary mumbled, and Rick laughed softly, then ruffled Mary's hair. "Careful," Mary giggled, "you'll ruin my pretty braids."
"They are very pretty." Rick smiled, kissing the top of her head.
"Daddy, will Maggie and Glenn and Daryl and... And you... Will you still love me most? Will you still love me the most even though there's new children?"
"Of course we will," Rick soothed, going down on one knee to talk to Mary on her own eye level, "why ever would you think not?"
"Because... They're not as skinny and little as me, and none of them looked like they were crying. And they're older so they're cleverer. And I bet they don't wet the bed." Mary whispered, beginning to cry.
"Hey, hey. Calm down. No one could ever replace you. We all love you dad to much for that. And I think your the only kid Daryl even tolerates, let alone likes, so he definitely won't replace you. And I love you far to much, as do Maggie and Glenn. Okay? And it's okay that you wet the bed. I don't mind."
Mary nodded slowly, then hugged Rick tightly.
"These people are scared. They're not strong like us." Mary whispered as they hugged.
"No," Rick shrugged, "most of them aren't."
"Shall we teach them how to shoot the guns and stab?"
"You're not. Okay? This can be like normal, like it was before. We just have to work on it."
"Okay," Mary smiled softly, "let's go do something."
"Well, we've brought a lot of food over. Why don't we sort that?" Rick suggested. Mary nodded and helped Rick unpack all the food, as the newcomers settled into their cells in the other cell block.
"Hello Mary." A little boy giggled in a teasing voice.
Mary span around and looked at the child stood there. It was a small boy grinning up at her, a smile incredibly wide, with large white teeth, and two dimples, one on each cheek.
"My name is Tommy. My daddy told me your name. Your daddy saved us."
"He's a nice man like that." Mary nodded shyly.
"Do you wanna play? I have three race cars and some dinosaurs." Tommy smiled seriously.
Mary looked at Rick nervously and he nodded. "Yep, go play. Eat this though. You've had no breakfast." Rick said, passing her a protein bar. Mary smiled and ate it, running to her cell and getting Mr Snuggles, her Noah's Ark, and her plastic train, then going back to Rick and Tommy.
"Can we play outside?" Tommy asked Rick.
"Sure." The man shrugged. The two went outside, Mary nervously turning her head back every so often.
"Where can we play?" Tommy asked.
"Here." Mary nodded, pointing to just below the guard tower.
"You okay, Mary Moo?" Glenn shouted from inside the tower. Mary nodded, only happy to be there as she knew Glenn was looking over her.
"It's so cool you have a train. And a boat. And a monkey!" Tommy grinned.
"It's called Noah Ark. And my monkey is Mr Snuggles." Mary whispered shyly.
"I'm five. How old are you?"
"Four. Almost five. After summer."
"Cool! There was only big girls and boys at Woodbury." Tommy sighed.
"It's just me and My Carl and Judith."
"Is Carl your brother?" The little boy asked.
"Yeah. And Judith. Sophia was my friend but she died."
"My sister died." Tommy nodded sadly.
"My mommy died." Mary whispered shakily.
"Don't be so silly, mommies and daddies don't die!" Tommy laughed.
Mary looked at him then stood up quickly, her eyes teary, and she grabbed her toys possessively. "My mommy died. She had a baby. She didn't want to be a Walker, so Carl shot her. Mommies die. And daddies. Everyone dies!"
And with that, Mary ran away, leaving the little boy confused, and Glenn looking down in worry.

"They don't get it." Mary cried into Rick's shirt.
"I know, sweetie, I know." Rick soothed, stroking the back of her head.
"Tommy said that mommies and daddies don't die. He's wrong."
"He's just not had to know about that yet. You must understand that you're very old for your age. You've gone through a lot of grown up things at only four. It's hard for other people to understand."
"He said his sister died." Mary mumbled.
"Don't you worry about Judith, if that's what your thinking."
"I think he shouldn't be so unkind. He gets a mommy and a daddy."
"You get a Daddy, a Carl, a Judith, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl - sorry, I know, it's Uncle Daryl. You have a very big, very cool family."
"And Michonne?"
"And Michonne." Rick laughed. "Why don't you go play?"
"Who with?" Mary whined.
"Tommy. Or Molly." Rick suggested. Mary nodded sadly, and walked over to find Maggie.
"Do you know where Molly is?" She asked her quietly.
"In the other cell block. Shall I take you?"
"Yeah please." Mary nodded. She grabbed hold of Maggie's hand, and they walked over to Molly's cell. Instantly Mary went shy, but the older girl took Mary under her wing, and two hours later they were still happily playing princesses.
"Is Maggie your mommy?"
"No. She's my best friend."
"Oh. Did... Did your mommy die? My daddy died."
"Yeah." Mary nodded sadly.
"It's sad, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Do you have a brother or sister? I don't."
"I have Carl and Judith. Carl is a big boy, and Judith is a little baby." Mary explained.
"Is Carl the one with the sherif hat?" Molly asked shyly.
"Yeah!" Mary said proudly.
"He seems... Scary. Angry." She whispered.
A frown went across Mary's face, firm and angry. "He's nice." Mary whispered.
"I guess," Molly said quickly, "but he just... Seems mean."
"He's not! He's just sad. Because mommy has died. He's a really amazing big brother. And I love him."
"Okay," Molly said quickly, the older girl knowing to end it there, "I'm sorry."
"Hey Mary!" Rick shouted, coming into the cell block, "I'm going out to see if I can fix the water."
"I'm coming!" Mary nodded, running over, leaving Molly alone.
"I think you should stay here." Rick smiled softly.
"Please can I come? Please?"
"Okay. Okay, but be good." Rick nodded, taking her hand. "This is Peter, and he was something called a plumber, so he can fix the pipes. It means we can have working showers and toilets."
"Wow!" Mary grinned, looking up at Peter in awe.
"I wish my little one thought it was cool." Peter laughed to Rick, then his face suddenly fell in realisation, and he hung his head. Mary understood immediately.
"Are we going outside the gates?" Mary asked with a smile.
"Yep. So you stay close." Rick smiled. They walked out, Mary holding Rick's hand with a smile. She felt like the happiest, most important girl in the world when walking at her father's side, hand in hand.
When they got to the pipes, Peter got to work, Rick occasionally assisting him, and Mary trying to do handstands and cartwheels, just as Beth had shown her all that time ago on the farm.
"Look at you." Rick chuckled, not unkindly, as Mary kept trying, even though she was terrible at it. "Let me help." Without another word, Rick picked Mary up and tipped her upside down, making her squeal in excitement and a little fear.
"Daddy!" She screamed, but Rick laughed.
"Put your hands out, touch the floor." He laughed. Mary did as he said, then Rick only held her loosely, so she was supporting herself. "Okay, I'm gonna let go."
"No!"
"Yep. Keep your tummy strong." Rick ordered, and he let go. Mary stayed upright for a split second, then crumpled onto the floor. "Are you okay?" Rick said quickly, pulling her up.
"I'm okay." Mary nodded, disheartened.
"Okay. Let's try again." Rick replied gently, tipping her upside down again. By the time Peter had fixed the pipes, Mary could do a handstand almost by herself.

"Daddy!" Mary shouted in excitement, running in and out of the showers, all six of them turned on. "It's amazing!"
"It sure is." Rick laughed back, "But don't waste water. Come on now, have a wash. But don't drink it. It's not clean, it's from the river."
"Okay." Mary nodded. She got under one shower, and Rick turned the other five off. She didn't wash her hair, leaving her beloved cornrow braids in. After a few minutes she got out, the water freezing cold.
"It's amazing. I love it." Mary grinned. Rick chuckled, loving the happiness she got from such a simple thing.
"Good. Now, pyjamas on, and bed time. And you're a big girl today, right? You're going to sleep in your own bed, in yours and Carl's room."
Mary sighed, but nodded, and got dressed.
"Good girl," Rick smiled as they walked to the cell block, "now, bed time. You need a routine. Apparently that's something kids need. So, let's go say night night to everyone. 'Cos we need a routine. That's what Molly's mom said. And Tommy's. Routine." Rick nodded slowly.
"Daddy, I'm fine. Those kids are boring. And I'm not scared of anything. I'm cool!"
"Yeah, you are." Rick laughed, "now go say night night."
Mary nodded, and ran to Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, and Carl, giving each of them a tight hug and kiss, then went to bed.
"Okay. Apparently I need to be reading to you as well, but we don't have any books. So we'll start that routine tomorrow."
"You're confusing." Mary sighed, closing her eyes, and falling asleep quickly. 
"What's all this about?" Maggie asked in amusement, stood by the door.
"Hmm?" Rick mumbled, looking up slightly confused.
"Your stressing about routine."
"I just... All these parents coming in. And they actually know stuff about parenting. Stuff I had no idea about. I didn't know it was important for four year olds to have routine, and set bedtimes, and stories, and shouldn't have guns or knifes, and what toys she can play with and when, and a thousand other things. Lori sorted that with Carl."
"Okay, all a kid needs, really, is to be loved and safe and happy. The rest of it isn't that important. Maybe no guns or knifes while we're safe, but everything else doesn't matter, although routine is good for kids." Maggie smiled softly.
"I just... I'm not good at this! I can't raise three kids! And Carl is so difficult, and I know nothing about girls! And it's gonna get harder. I mean, she's fine now, and she's so much fun, but what about when she's a teenage girl? What if," Rick panicked, now whispering awkwardly, "what if... You know? She gets her period when she's older? I don't know about girl stuff like that! And I'm shit at doing hair. And I'm even shitter at parenting. Carl killed someone without a second thought. And I don't know how to raise a child."
"Okay. Chill out," Maggie half laughed, "for one, you're not alone in all of this. For two, you have all of us to help! And there's plenty of women in the group to help with all the girly stuff. God, Rick, that's what you're worried about?"
"Yes?" He suggested with a sigh. "I just don't know how to do this."
"That's why were here. And no, I don't mean living in the prison. I mean, everyone in this group loves her. Of course we'll help. And can I suggest something? I know I'm not a mom, but I know kids."
"Yes. Please, do." Rick nodded.
"Carl. You gotta talk to him. And I hate to say it, but I... I don't think he should have a gun."
Rick looked over at Carl, sat against the wall downstairs, cleaning his gun. "I think that's a good idea."

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