Hey all. Here's a new update. Do vote and comment.
Minor mentions of self harm in the chapter.
Enjoy.
Never show emotions Z. Feelings make you weak. Things like love, lust, happiness , hurt,sadness are just scrap.
Life taught you a lesson in the past.
Show no mercy Z.
His words were still imprinted in my head. And to think that he said them just before pointing a gun at my forehead.
I smiled to myself as I remembered my brother's fruitless efforts in trying to change me.
I just hoped he remembered his words when my knife pierced his heart and life drained out of him, the same knife he presented to me after my first killing spree.
Atleast I did.
Show no mercy.
The moonlight peeked through blinds covering the windows in my room and reflected from knife now twisting in my hands as I observed the intricate patterns on it.
I had done this a million times since the knife has touched my hands. It showed swirling patterns of an ivy neatly carved into the blade with perfection intertwined with symbols from a language clearly unheard of.
The handle was made of wood sheathed with leather skin showing a beautifully designed letter 'Z'
I glanced on to clock on the nightstand and sighed.
3:07 am.
If I start now, I will have enough time to fabricate something to prove my need to kill the cunning bastard yesterday.
Apparently, Dan couldn't keep his pretty mouth shut when coming to things that concern me.
Especially, things that get me into trouble.
Hence , I have been summoned by the Commander tomorrow noon to know my side of the story.
I'd have to be adequately prepared.
Now, what Dan doesn't know, but had been dying to find out is how I ease out of all the traps designed by him.
I fabricate stabs and cuts, real ones , on my skin and present to them as defence wounds to the commander.
The commander being highest in position, however appear to have a heart, something most of us here lack in, and grants me another chance.
Which I push it down the drain the next time obviously.
But this time it's different. We were given specific orders not to have him injured let alone killed.
None of the previous missions were this complicated and secured. Must have been an important resource. But as always ,I screwed it up by my unhealthy and merciless ways, as Dan puts it.
I sat up on my bed and pulled out a dagger from my satchel. Pushing my sleeves up, I inspected the remnants of my previous work. They had just completed healing.
Great.
I took a deep breath and positioned the dagger near my elbow and gave a clean , yet rugged cut , starting from up and ending behind my hand. Just to add a dash of originality.
Next I pulled up my pants and stabbed near my Achilles tendon, along with another cut near on both of my thighs, clenching my teeth in pain.
I smiled bitterly at my work and cleaned the dagger.
Now to the difficult part.
I took out a cookie jar from one of the cabinets and grabbed a handful of salt crystals.
Adding rock salt to your wounds make them look original and appear infected and disgusting to touch. The only problem is the pain.
Pathetic. I know.
I pulled out a long cork and placed them between my teeth. Holding my hands out I sprinkled the whole lot to the cuts on my arms and clenched my teeth at the searing pain. I did the same for the ones on my lower limbs . And settled down on my bed panting.
So much for just a kill.
Sometimes I find myself crazy for feeling rejoiced as I do these self harming acts. It makes me feel more merciless. More.... empty.
I glanced at the clock once again
5:00 am
The pain had dulled by now. I got dressed and walked out the door heading for the commander's office.
*******************
"Z, this is the fourth time you've jeopardised a mission. You need to stop this . The council is not happy with it. Its their resources and fund you are wasting with your carelessness."
I sat in front of him expressionless, yet bored out of my head. I wanted to say,
Just throw me the cue to show my 'defence wounds ' , give me a fucking warning and let me go!
Instead, I sighed and nodded.
"It won't happen again."
" That's what you said last time." He deadpanned.
I put on my best puppy dog eyes ,
aka blankest expression ever controted by my facial muscles.
He took a long breath and continued.
" That's why I am going to have to change your field of work for the time being. "
No. No. Noo.
"Reading your files taught me about your exemplary skills with decoding and solving clues with accuracy."
He looked me in the eye with an amused smile
" They even called you Zirlock Homles , behind your back".
I rolled my eyes.
Yeah. Tell me something, I don't know.
Apparently, my mediocre observations skills were always in need for my classmates who lost their books, weapons, or girls wanted to know if their boyfriends were cheating on them.
Which resulted in my nick name. I found the guy who started it in a few days and gave a treatment to his crotch.
"Oh my god. I had no idea. Thank goodness it was not ziplock."
I feigned shock and replied.
He laughed at my excuse of a joke and leaned back in his chair, suddenly putting on a serious face.
" S.C.A.R is a private bureau of military and SEALS officers . Its a kind of legally establishment which has a very high track record of compromising many of their missions with the least fatalities. They never involve the police or the law. And none of their members will ever be threatened by those.
"The General there is a friend of mine and apparently they seem to have a problem with a kidnapping case which has a very narrow deadline. So I was thinking of giving you a transfer for the moment. When things cool down here , I will take you back. Besides , it makes us more trustworthy to the council. What do you think?"
What do I think?!
I am not some geek who should be working on twirling chairs behind the scene. I am the one who should be in the field. Fighting. And maybe kiling.
I inhaled and calmed my nerves before speaking.
" With all due respect, sir, you know my level of expertise best enough to realise that I am better useful in the field missions than being a detective. I promise I will keep my killing to a minimum."
He looked at me with pity. " I do know that ,Z."
Then what is the fucking problem?!
" I just think that may be this will be a change for you. Just be in the sidelines for once."
Ouch.
"But-"
" No buts . This is my final decision. It's either this or the boot camp."
I paled.
God. Anything but that.
I reluctantly nodded in agreement and turned to leave.
" And believe me Z. I will be getting updates on your work almost every time. So don't try anything stupid."
His eyes turned soft.
" I am doing this for your own good. Z. One day you will thank me for it."
Lets see about that.
I nodded once more and left his office.
I didn't even get to show my wounds.
Damn. All that pain for nothing.
As always.