The weeks turned to months and nothing had changed, I still was alone and working at the diner, fending off intoxicated and touchy old men who had nobody to go home to. The only entertainment came from the small and quick banter that was traded between Gary and I as we passed each other on the off occasion. But still, that wasn't enough to fill the endless hours of spare time that I found on my hands, suddenly my home was clean and freshly painted with a prefect garden.
Janice had reduced my hours and suddenly I was worried about how I was going to pay the bills and with the debt of moving on top of it all, I was drowning—even the cost of petrol has tears stinging at my eyes. I couldn't believe how fast my incoming bills had begun to stack up, leaving me with no other choice but to cut down on my weekly groceries and forgo using my heater at all.
Every time I saw the envelopes tucked under the little mail house my stomach churned, I wasn't sure how long I could go like this; I had nobody to turn to and I refused to let it get so bad that I would be evicted. Everything was mounting on my plate and I didn't even have any friends to express my pain to. I was slowly but surely losing what little amount of sanity I had left.
I swallowed my pride and walked down to the only bar in town, cringing at the stale smell that emitted for the shabby structure. I knew the man who owned the bar; he was a regular at the diner as well as a regular sleaze. I knew the second I stepped inside I'd be on the receiving end of many foul comments but I was already losing weight and a sick sheen had covered my already pale skin.
The bar was dark as I looked around to see the men sitting around the bar front, their overflowing beers matching their round stomachs as they strained against their too tight shirts. If I thought the diner was uncomfortable, this bar was going to be quite a shock to my system. I could already feel the eyes following me around, this town had its fair share of old dirty men.
The small bald owner came around the corner, his yellow teeth glinting in the dim light. "Ya'll, look it's little ol' Audrey." I felt like clearing my throat when I noticed his eyes hadn't strayed from my clothed chest. This man was about as subtle as a freight train, and it was making me that much more uncomfortable.
"I was wondering Jeff, if you had any available working positions." My voice sounded weak to even my own ears.
If it was even possible, his smile became wider. "Of course we do Audrey, anything for a mighty young bird like you. You can start tonight, just man the bar and refill any empty glasses." I sighed with relief and felt a surge of hope, maybe the bills would be paid.
I nodded and jumped behind the bar, not about to turn down a shift. My mind was occupied while I filled up the beer glasses that were getting dangerously low. I tried to decide whether heating or hot water was more important when the doors opened and the one and only Gary walked in with a voluptuous blonde on his arm. Her high pitched laugh made me wince.
I tried not to feel jealous but I couldn't help it. Gary had said he hadn't any friends in town but now I wasn't so sure—those two looked awfully cosy. I blushed when Jeff yelled my name, gaining the attention of everyone in the bar, including Gary and his arm candy.
"Oh yeah Jeff. Sorry, what do you want?" My face was tight and the fake smile I had perfected long ago slid across my face, holding my expression of disgust at bay as Jeff lingered too close to me, leaving me trapped between his pot belly and the bar.
His breath smelt faintly of alcohol and onions, not a very appealing combination. "Could you be a doll and go take orders and drinks?" I smiled and manoeuvred around his large body trying to get away while he took it as a chance to feel me up. I shivered, gagging from the disgusting feeling that was radiating all over my body.
I slowly served the tables that littered the drab bar, making pointless conversation to avoid Gary and the blonde bimbo with her oversized breasts that looked as if they were about to burst from her too-small shirt.
But too soon I stood before them both, my hair a mess and in my plain black clothes that were in no way flattering to my non-existent figure. I smiled and channelled my inner calm. "Hi folks, I'm Audrey and I'll be your host. What can I get for you tonight?" I left my pen poised over the pad and waited for their order, studiously avoiding all eye contact.
"A light beer—" The blonde was cut off by Gary.
"You and Jeff seem close." His voice was amused but his eyes were hard.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Wow, is that what it looked like to you? Don't get too close Gary, I might trip over your IQ." I didn't look up to see his reaction and continued to write down the girls order; suddenly not in the mood for chitchat.
The girl seemed to be more stupid then her look suggested. "What does that even mean waiter?" It was obvious that she was using my underpaid job as an insult, and she had hit the mark but she had no right to judge me because she had designer clothes.
I rolled my eyes, "It means that you and your man are of lower IQ than average, honey. So low it's become a tripping hazard for those surrounding you." My voice was dripping with sarcasm, I wasn't even aware I was capable of being so condescending, but as always, I surprised myself.
I heard Gary trying to stifle a laugh.
"For your information Annabel, I'm quite intelligent." I decided to ignore the fact that she had gotten my name wrong, knowing she took it from page one of the how-to-be-a-bitch book, hoping to get a rise out of me.
I laughed at her smug expression. "You know how I know you're lying? Your lips moved." With that I turned to the more than amused Gary, efficiently cutting off the girl. "Is that all for today?"
He nodded but didn't speak, probably not wanting to deal with my horrible attitude and even worse personality, but I was too annoyed to care. I had to work two jobs and double hours to pay rent and this bimbo just waltzed in here like she owned the place. I had news for her, once she had sweated her pretty makeup off scrubbing the floor she could come back and try again.
"Audrey?" I cringed as I felt Jeff's warm breath against my neck. "Can I talk to you about the way you treat our clients?" I sent the blonde a dirty look as she clutched onto Gary, her body plastered against his.
He sent me an apologetic smile but I was too far frustrated to acknowledge it.
I sighed as I was pulled across the room. "Okay rule one and by far the most important, don't be a bitch." I glared daggers at him as he smirked at me, his greasy hair sticking to his forehead. "And second, don't associate with Gary."
For the love of Mother Mary, not this again. "I swear if one more person tells me to leave him alone, when I hardly know the guy, I'm going to scream!"
Jeff didn't look amused. "He's a killer Audrey."
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. "A killer?" Wow, the rumours seem to get more and more interesting as time went on. What would be next? A highly trained assassin sent here to kill off the oh-so-important nobody's that inhabited this town.
Jeff sighed. "Well, under suspicion of multiple murders but the Sheriff is keeping it under wraps so don't go opening your trap, alright?"
I felt my legs go wobbly and my vision blurred. "What happened?"
Jeff lowered his voice and lent in close and for once I didn't mind his bad breath, it was oddly reassuring. "So far two girls have been found dead in the woods near his house, and he has been spotted with them both. At first we thought it was an animal attack, wolf like, bodies mauled but now they think it was some disgusting murderer."
I felt like my head was going to explode and vaguely heard Jeff tell me my shift was over as I wandered from the pub, the only thing I could think about was the wolf. Was Gary covering for a blood thirsty wolf that had killed already?
A killer wolf lives in my front yard.
Oh god, even in this small town I seem to be an accident waiting to happen. The trip home was a blur, nothing registering as I pulled up to my house, my eyes wide as looked out the window searching the darkness for those bright eyes.
I jumped from my car and the small run to my front door felt like an eternity, my hands shaking the whole time and the key scratching the door in my sad attempt to get it in the house quickly. The door slammed behind me as I took my stairs two at a time, collapsing on my bed with my shoes still on and the smell of cigarettes clinging to my clothes. I wasn't sure how long I could survive without heating in this house, the air seemed to be freezing me to my sheets and I couldn't do anything about it.
I cried into my pillow and wished for the hundredth time that the past could disappear and I could be living my old life, the life where I had a sister, a big house and enough money to last me a life time; but you don't always get what you want.
I had been lying frozen in bed for almost an hour and the sky had started to darken, the noises of the night coming from my open window along with the frosted air.
I heard an earth shattering scream from outside and my body went stiff, the voice was clearly female and had the hair on my neck standing up. I leaped from my bed and picked up the errant curtain holder up from the floor, needing something for protection, and ran through my house with wide eyes and wet cheeks.
My feet stung from the wet cold grass as I ran through the forest, following the voice of terror when suddenly it went silent. Deathly silent. I tried to yell to the person, begging them to speak louder, to talk to me, to help me. I ran in circles, my feet ripped and my body cold, and yet I still couldn't find the girl.
It was silent.
The silence that can only mean one thing, it's heavy and cold, it chills you deeper than any amount of cold air could. It chills you to your soul and you're left with an over powering sense of pain, no matter who they were to you. Death does that to everyone, in that one second you realise that one less person is breathing and you're one person closer to dying.
And you mourn, but not for their death, but for your own fast approaching one.
I broke through the forest to see a disfigured body lying in a pool of blood, the limbs broken and unhinged, bile rose in my throat and I forced myself to try and remember my training. You can do this Audrey.
I slowly walked forward, dropping the rod in the dried pine leaves and approached the broken body. The blood squelched under my bare feet and I raised my hand over my nose to block out the stomach turning smell, feeling sick at the thought of the person and their brutal death.
My fingers shook as they inched closer to body's neck as I tried to find a part of skin that wasn't ripped, the location of their pulse evading me. I became desperate as my fingers found nothing and I was left alone in the dark cold forest with a dead body.
I did what any sane person would do.
I screamed.
I screamed until my voice was rough and my throat hoarse, I cried and crawled away from the body, leaving a trail of blood and terror in my wake. I couldn't take my eyes off my bloody hands as people filled the forest, their own screams of terror mingling with mine.
I felt people pull me away from the body that had begun to smell, and towards the people that crowded around, being pulled and pushed between people as they tried to break through my hysterics. But they couldn't, because I was no longer there, I was transported back to the accident where my sister was, her body having an uncanny resemblance to the mangled one that laid before me.
I couldn't help the body as it lay there, and I didn't help my sister as she lay on the road, her blue eyes looking up at me. The instant I had laid eyes on her broken body I could only think that it should have been me choking on my own blood, not her. It had been my fault.
"Audrey!" I shuddered as a voice finally broke through my shattered thoughts, taking my bloody hands in their own. Janice stood before me and I realised I had never stopped screaming. Long scratch marks marred the lengths of my arms where I had tried to rip the already dried blood off my body.
I couldn't seem to get my mouth to connect to my mind and a whole mound of gibberish managed to slip out before I stringed together a sentence. "How did you find me?" The tears began to slow but the sobs didn't and I hiccupped into Janice's shoulder as she rubbed my back
"Gary called the Sheriff, said he heard some screaming and the Sheriff was in the diner so some of us followed." I looked around to try and find Gary but I couldn't seem to see him and Janice seemed to read my mind. "He's not here darlin', he stayed in his house."
I nodded and tried not to look disappointed. "I'm going back to the house to clean up, tell Sheriff he can contact me tomorrow if need be." She went to respond but I ignored her and moved towards the opening of the forest where my little cabin like cottage sat, waiting patiently for my return.
My hands shook as I rinsed them under the cold water, the red water running down the sink and staining my porcelain basin. I couldn't believe what had just happened was real, I had little doubt in my mind that it was the wolf that had killed that person and I knew I should to talk to Gary first but he wouldn't agree.
So I went behind his back.
I walked to the phone and called the number of the local sheriff's office that had been pinned on the fridge before I had arrived. The phone rang several times before a gruff and obviously frustrated voice answered it. "Hello? Creston County Sheriff office, how may we help you?" I took a deep breath as the voice spoke to me, trying to keep my heart beat steady.
"Hi." I heard the operator clear their throat as he waited for me to continue. "My name is Audrey and I was just calling to tell you about what I saw around my house and in the forest."
The man seemed to be interested and almost begging me to continue; they obviously had very little leads so far. I stuttered from the stress of the secret I was about to tell. "Well I'm almost completely sure that I have seen a wolf like creature around the edges of the forest, it has come around my house a few times."
He mumbled a reply and asked to be put on hold; I could hear him shouting for others to come. "Hello Audrey? Are you there? This is the Sheriff." I nodded and then realised he couldn't see me and let out a tired grunt. "So can you please explain what you just told the operator?"
"Well Sir, more than once I have spotted a large wolf or what I assume is a wolf. It seems to be incredibly comfortable coming out of the forest. Seeing the body and hearing the theory's from Jeff it just seemed to be too much of a coincident not to mention."
We said our fare wells after he cursed Jeff for his big mouth and I crawled towards the couch not even caring that I was wet and cold, my mind was running on overdrive and it needed to rest, the images from tonight would always haunt me but I had become good at blocking everything out.
My head had only just hit the pillow when I felt the familiar pain radiate through my chest and I was on the floor crying in pain, the cold floorboards my only relief. I felt as if someone had stabbed a hole through my chest and was twisting the knife. A scream ripped through my chapped lips when I opened my eyes and came face to face with the mutilated face of the girl from the forest.
My whole body convulsed with pain when I felt something sharp clamp onto my arm, making a high pitched scream fly from my lips. I could feel what the girl experienced as the large wolf stalked towards me through her memories.
Once again I had become subject to the pain and horror of what a ghost had experienced before their death, and once again I would be left to wither on my floor alone until I had experienced everything that person had felt.
I screamed until my throat was dry and my eyes were sore, feeling the pain of the wolf feasting on my body as I lay in a puddle of my own sweat. Finally the ordeal was over but I still couldn't move, from experience it took a few hours for the ghost's pain to leave me and allow me to go about my day.
It had been a long while since I had had an encounter with a ghost and it was worse than I remembered. Ever since the crash happened I had been able to see and feel what the dead did minutes to hours before their death, I relived their last moments, feeling all the pain.
In my twenty-two years I can say I've experienced at least ten different ways to die, from being drowned, to being burnt alive, none at all pleasant. When I was young I use to fear death but as I grew I discovered death was nothing compared to pain, death would be the relief I've been begging for.
Everybody believes their greatest fear is death, but pain is what everyone is really afraid of; they think that pain is a side effect of death, but they're wrong.
Death is a solution, a remedy to pain.