Hey guys, . The paragraphs that are written in this font all take place in the past as Brooklyn sees certain stuff and goes back in her past to find the relevance. She remembers things similar to her situation out there.
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Thanks for reading.
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Song of the chapter
Wait by the river by lord huron
And the stars fill the river
As it flows into the sky
And the mind leaves the body
And floats higher and higher
—
It's a sensation close to madness.
When you stand by a cliff and let the wind caress your hair the way he didn't, let it hug your body on its own way, let it give you shivers.
I open my eyes and take a step closer. It's quite steep. Hard big rocks are attached to it, some small green yellowish thistles can be seen, down on the skirt.
Nobody can't survive falling from here and nobody couldn't.
My hair is messy and tangled at the end. I didn't bother brushing them. A messy bun suffices for me.
"Brooklyn! Get back from the edge it's dangerous. Get in here!" Shouts my one and only parent that is currently available now.
Charlotte Evans, the strongest, creepiest mom on the whole planet.
She and Dad got divorced when I was 5. No arguments, no nothing, just my mom thinking it would be a waste, living in a forced marriage and wasting your precious life.
Without a relpy I leave the beloved Cliff behind and head straight to her.
Her sunglasses cover half of her face and hide her chubby cheeks. It's 7 in the evening and it's going to get dark soon, yet she still wears them.
As I reach her, she grabs my hand pulls me in front of her friend. "Meet Lisa. Lisa this is my daughter, Brooklyn!" She says cheerfully, appearing to be really proud of me.
I force a smile and shake hands with her. "Pleasure meeting you." I say in the politest tone I can manage.
"You too." Is all she says before going to have a conversation with my Mom.
I stay there and listen to their conversation about staying tonight.
It's a national park, with a famous cliff at the end. If you continue to walk by the length of cliff for 30 minuets or so, you will reach the sea. Summer has started from a week ago and Mom thought it would be a great idea to come camping here.
I smile everytime Lisa takes a glimpse of me. As I start to get annoyed, I excuse myself and leave them to the cliff.
Before I reach it I am called by a pitchy voice. "Brooklyn, Brooklyn! Oh my goodness, slower your pace young lady so I can catch up with you." I stop and turn around to see my Mom's bestfriend, since high school, has her fattish hand over her trembling chest and pants hysterically.
"What's wrong Lady Clair?" I take big steps towards her.
Ever since I remember I've been calling her Lady Clair. I never knew why she chose to be called this, but I know it got something to do with her not being married.
"You are such a beautiful creature Brooklyn, but you have your hair out of your bun in a very messy way. The wind must have ruined it." She purses her lips together and runs her hand gently down my face. "You look like a messy shit." She says in an obvious tone and I know it's my cue to go and fix it up.
"There's a restroom down there, go fix your hair." Lady Clair cares awfully a lot about hair and anything related to outlook.
"Lady Clair!" As I want to growl and disagree with her stupid suggestion, I'm heading down to the restroom.
I see a group of teenagers not so far away from us. They are at the edge of the cliff too, but not so close.
I don't stay much in the bathroom, I turn my messy bun into a one sided french braid and leave the two girls chattering and laughing behind in the restroom. How do they do it? It's dirty and smelly.
I get out and see Lady Clair, Mom and the new woman Lisa gone. I send my prayers to the sky and head straight to the cliff once more.
But someone stops me one more time.
"Hey!" I stop and let my head follow the voice. Stands a boy with his hands in his denim shorts, and a cotton bottomed up pink shirt, smiling at me.
"Hi." I say and don't wait for him to continue and pass him. I didn't look at him but from my brief glance I saw disappointment on his tanned face.
"Do you watch to join us over there?" He pointed to the loud crowd and I stop to listen to him. "We're actually a lot and from different schools, but school doesn't matter anymore huh? we're free from highschool. College's waiting ahead." He says and chuckles at himself.
I impassively look at him and then the crowd. For the last time I glance at the cliff and nod. "Okay."
"Great let's go!" He says cheerfully and I force a smile to pretend to be happy about the situation.
We walk about less than 5 minutes to get to them. Girls pass me by pretending I don't exist and guys bring up their proud faces to show I'm not worth a glance.
It's always like this, nobody accepts a new person.
But I did, didn't I?
Alexis King walked in the cafeteria, with his chin up and backpack on his broad shoulders. He reacted the same, nobody payed attention to his arrival or him being a new kid, in return he didn't acknowledge presence of any kid in the hall.
He sat at the corner of the hall and took an apple out of his bag. I was in the center of cafe with my friends, eating french fries.
"The new kid's unique." Ida said. She cleaned her greasy salty fingers with the tissue I gave her. "I know." I agreed and grinned at how silly it sounded.
Aiden rolled his eyes as he drained his bottle of water by sucking the living life out of it. "It's cool how nobody cares." He eyed Ida. "I mean I expected girls flirting with him or guys giving him a free bro hand shake, but none." He shrugged as he saw Ida's frown.
"It's stupid. It gives him the feeling that he's not accepted here and makes him loathe this place."
I chuckled at how serious their conversation would become later. They kept talking, when they were really distracted by their heated argument, I left the table.
Stealing the last fry and eating it, I headed to the new guy that everyone was talking about and had his chin up.
I reached his table at the same time 3 jocks did.
Jessie, in the simplest description, my ex.
His other two friends were simply standing behind him. I glared at Jessie that made him grin.
"Nice hair you have in there, douche." Cameron told him. Staring at his grayish hair. He stared right at cameron's eyes and after a sec he finally spoke. "Do I know you?"
Alexis was an albino. It was hard to notice because the first impression you got from him was either he dyed his hair and shaved his eyebrows and had no lashes or he was an albino which wasn't the first thing that popped into mind.
Cameron frowned and directed an eye massage to Ross standing next to him. "No, but I bet you won't forget me soon" and stepped forward to throw a punch.
Jessie grabbed his hand and pulled him backwards, just because he saw the principal getting in the hall.
"Piss off." I said in a flat tone before Jessie, Cameron and Ross went away. I pulled the plastic blue chair out and sat on it.
"So what's your name?" Says the guy who brought me here.
"Brooklyn Evans." I said confidently as I gave him a smile without having any reason.
"I like upper east side better." He raised both his eyebrows and gave me the look that demanded back off.
"I'm supposed to give you school tour."
"What? Now? In the middle of day? Isn't it supposed to be early in the morning before classes are begun?"
"School tour in the middle of semester? Aren't you supposed to enroll in a school before it starts?"
Giving me a hard glare, he checked out his watch.
"That makes us even"
"That's a weird name you got." It is supposed to be something funny, so I fake laugh
"Yeah, it was the place my parents got married. So that wanted to have it written down on me."
He smiles and then introduces some of his friends to me. I don't bother remembering the names, but I noticed weird glances I got. Why? Because I didn't cover my brown freckles with make up?
"Aha, here's my friend Dylan. He actually isolates himself from other people but once you get him to talk to you, you find him great."
Well Dylan, good thing I finally found you. Dylan Anderson, a name that's impossible not to come along with Alexis King.
He points at Dylan, I see him but he's too busy frowning at his phone screen.
The guy is in a hurry to catch up with some of his friends who are shouting at him to join them. He rubs his obvious sweaty hands on his jeans and tells me he must go.
But I haven't asked his name have I?
"Thanks but I don't know your name?"
He seems confused but suddenly he bursts out into laughter. "I'm sorry, I'm Jack."
Such a simple name, Alexis' name felt like a name a king would have. Alexis king.
I sat there, receiving the silent treatment for a minute, but finally I gave in.
"Do you want to give me your name?" I already knew his.
He gave his apple his last bite, chewed it, and then said his name.
"Alexis."
It's beautiful; I thought. -
I head for Dylan. A girl snaps at me for being clumsy and not seeing myself ruin her favorite sneakers and stepping on them. I ignore her, and by the time I'm right in front of Dylan, he has his head up.
"Your eyes look dead." He announces. Boring his green eyes into mine. Dylan in appearance is everything Alexis wasn't. His skin was tanned, his hair is so brown to the point of being mistaken black. He talks a lot- well, he used to talk a lot. After Alexis he tends to stay quiet- and loves his phone. There's no way he leaves his phone behind which is the exact opposite of Alexis.
"Tell me something new." I stare back at him with my hands fallen on both sides of me.
"Alexis' parents are back." He smirks at mockingly although I can see hurt and sadness deep in his face.
"Before I tell you the rest-" he stand up, taking a step closer, he whispers in the ear not being coveres with hair, "- tell me why my Brooklyn Evans is here? From what I know, she doesn't join a group or talk to someone without a reason.
"I saw you, came here to say hi." I grab his chin and distance his face from mine. "Why are they back?" I literally beg him to tell me but he doesn't. He keeps playing with me, to make me tired and wanna give up.
The sky is a mixture of blue, pink and orange. It's still windy, I'm sitting at a corner with Dylan by my side and thinking how I ended up being here?
- "What if I turn down you school tour suggestion and what if you leave me alone?" Alexis stood up from his chair and lazily ran a hand through his white grayish hair.
"Okay, then see you later." I waved at him. "More like see you never." He told himself as he waved back in a dry gesture.
I smiled at myself and headed to Ida and Aiden who looked at me like I was insane. I flipped my hair and laughed out loud before I said, "Mr Thornhill kind of forced me to befriend him."
Mr thornhill is a copy of a teenage girl, always enthusiastic about everything and at the same rime he's moody and hates you and has no time for you. Even though he is our counselor.
"But why you?" Aiden asked. He face fell instantly and trying to put a big smile failed.
"You know my background with jessie and his friend. Maybe he thought I still associate with him and wanted me to get around with new people."
"But you have us!" Ida exclaimed, pressing her lips together.
"I know, and I'm glad I do."-
Girls and boys slowly move towards the beach. Only a few of us stay up on the hill, near the infamous cliff. Dylan and I are sitting on some rocky benches and my heart is aching. "Dylan, why don't you just, tell me why they are back?" I pleaded again.
He looks impassively at me and scoffs "why do you think Brooklyn?" I didn't know, I honestly didn't know.
- I finished a YouTube video as my phone rang. I picked it up to hear Ida complaining about how long the day was, or how she loathes school more than being alone.
"So, what are you gonna do about befriending the new kid?"
"I don't know Ida."
"No idea?"
"I honestly don't know."-
A group of tall slim girls are standing in front of us. I catch one of them staring at Dylan, not with evil eyes that most people describe but with sincerity of admiration. She smiles whenever he pops his gum. Out of a sudden I see her coming towards us.
She glances at me and the second her eyes land on me, her face changes into something I cant put my hands on, it seems like she just has seen a ghost.
She ignores me and tucked a long strand of her ginger hair behind her ear and takes her last step towards Dylan. "Hi Dylan." She says, hoping he looks up and greets her with a smile.
Everyone who knows Dylan, most definitely is sure he hates it when strangers talk to him. He nods in return but doesn't utter a word. "I'm Ginger." She says in a small voice. Dylan looks up and scoffs. "That's ironic." He points at her hair and I saw disappointment all over her face before she muttered a sorry and left.
Minutes passed after ginger left, usually I would have punched Dylan in the face but then again, I see why he's doing it, pushing people away.
We are cursed,
Dylan, Alexis and I are cursed.
"No cursing mister Ocean" Principal Archibald warned an angry blonde dude who was arguing with his friend about a hoodie they stole from him. I laughed at the boy turned around to get to cafeteria.
Jessie appeared out of blue and stood right in front of me. "Cherry." He said casually but after I passed him and showed him my middle finger, he started walking with me and draped his hand over my shoulder. Then his hand went down near my chest and as I wanted to push hin away he brought out a cigarette that was hidden in my denim jacket's pocket.
"I can see you still have a piece of me with yourself cherry." He grinned as he took my cigarette and put it between fingers. I gritted my teeth in frustration. "Screw you Jessie." I hissed.
He chuckled and bowed before joining Ross and Cameron. Tears gathered in my eyes and I clenched my fist. As I passed by where our interaction happened, I saw Alexis eyes on me. He didn't break the eye contact as I walked away. There was a stung in my heart, reminding me I might be acceptable to anyone.
Jessie, the ex boyfriend, the bad boy wannabe, the hot flirty guy that makes your heart ache out of cuteness. He showed me a way towards drugs, took me long enough the get the hell out of hell hound he created for me. He was right, I couldn't really break up with him, I always had a cigarette with me, which is a piece of him, a piece of our relationship.
Dylan put his phone away, now looking at me. "I'm a jerk am I not?" He asks me. His face careless as ever. I nod my head yes.
Moments of silence pass, until he speaks up again. "Cops called them. They closed the case." He says with agony that lays deep in his heart. I expected it. They never really wanted to put effort into it, there seems to be an upper power on them, telling them to stop. I don't say anything, there's nothing left to be told, all that there is, is down the cliff.
"Dylan my man." Shouts a tall bulky guy as he approaches us. His curly hair is stuck on his head, his green eyes are a big contrast to his dark skin. He doesn't really see me as Dylan stands up and gives him a bro hug.
I slowly stand up, making my way to the cliff. I glance over my shoulder to see Dylan. His eyes are on me as he talks with the bulky guy. He salutes at me before looking away.
"I can't breathe."
"Finally."
"Oh my god. I can die and have no absolute objection. This my peak."
"Aiden, you got finally got to pass physics." Ida and I yelled at his face with excitement. He laughed out loud, deeply and then threw his paper at the air. "Let me treat you to the nearest cafe with the cheapest food cause my mom will rip my head of if I spend much more than she gave me the permission to."
He motioned towards his car and Ida jumped in instantly. As I grabbed the handle I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. I frowned at the unknown number but answered it anyways. "Hello?"
"Heyy!! How is my sweet girl doing? "
"Mom?"
"Yes darling! My phone ran out of battery so I'm calling you with maggie's phone. I'm gonna be home tonight. My flight is gonna be in 2 hours!"
That was a surprise that my mom actually called me in her trip. But then again it was just for me ro prepare home in case some of her friends wanted to stay.
Mom, could never stay in one place. She always was traveling around. After her trips that longed for months, she came back for some days, then she had another ticket to another continent or in the best scenario, another city in America.
"Don't bother the poor soul, Char! She and I both know what you're about to say." I heard Lady clair yell at my mom but my mom only giggled. "Look Brooks, Maggie is my new friend, I really wanna show off. Can you please?" She practically begged me over the phone.
I nodded although she couldn't see me. "Sure mom."
"Oh my god!!! I love you, take care of yourself!"
"You too mom." I muttered but the phone call ended before my voice rang her ear. I put my phone in my pocket awkwardly and stared at Aiden and Ida with a apologetic smile.
"Guess you have to treat me later." I told Aiden, my heart squeezed, I wanted to hang out with them badly. Ida bit her lower lip but motioned for me to get in the car. "We'll help you out with cleaning! Aiden works at a restaurant, I don't have a mom I literally have the whole house to myself, dad can cook sometimes-" Ida started to babble, Aiden shrugged and gave me a proud look.
I laughed a little but refused anyways. "I actually wanna have some time alone, wanna think." I answered honestly. Ida's mood dropped. Aiden got in the car but still insisted on me getting in the car and giving me a ride. I didn't want it, I wanted to be alone.
They Finally gave up and waved me goodbye. I started walking towards my house. I had a feeling it'd take more than 30 minutes to get there. I sighed in sadness as I adjusted the straps of my backpack. It was about 10 minutes of walking when someone spat on my face. I mentally prepared myself for a fight but the person happened to spit more. I frowned and looked up to see a very gray sky.
Shit.
I started running. The rain wasn't bizarre, actually it was mild and soothing but still I couldn't really catch another cold. It'd be third time for this year.
My heart beat increased and suddenly I was out of breathe. Sure it'd happen. I was a coach potato with no absolute interest for exercising.
As seconds passed I heard an infamous sound of motorcycle and my whole body tensed. It sure belonged to Jessie not just because I know his motorcycle's sound but also because he's the only person that calls me Cherry.
"Cherry! You wanna get on my babe?" He called from behind me and I didn't turn around, I seriously didn't want to see him twice for today."
"Come on Cherry, turn around. I remember you loved my bike."
When he heard my utter silence he said nothing for a while just kept on following me but then he cracked.
"Remember the time it 2 after midnight and I showed up at your doorstep, asked you out and you instantly said yes? Well We rode on my bike the whole night and when the hour 5 passed by I kissed you and you told me it was your first kiss?"
"Or maybe remember the time your mom kicked my out of your house because I stepped with my boots on her favorite carpet? You let me in out of your window. Brooklyn remember?"
He went on for minutes but time for me passed like hours. My heart was aching and I wanted to sob so badly. I missed him, I missed him with my whole body but I couldn't go back. He was nothing but distraction.
The bike stopped and I stopped too. Not turning around to see his face. But I stopped anyways.
"Brooklyn remember when I took you to my house for the first time and I was so ashamed of my drunken mom and my ugly stepdad? You told me you didn't mind. You came in my dirty room, you told me it was beautiful. You even said I was beautiful. Brooklyn I told you I liked I told you that I loved you that night." His voice cracked at the end. Tears started running down my face and I had no absolute control. I finally turned around to see his face.
His usual smirk was gone, his black hair was down on his forehead and his brown eyes were red. "Brooklyn I still do. I love you." His voice cracked again and he took in a sharp breathe. "I'm sorry for every shit I dragged you in. I'm so fucking sorry."
He stared at my eyes and I said nothing. An apologetic smile appeared on his face. "I just-" he stopped himself, wiped his tears away, inhaled deeply. "Can we at least talk?" I stayed silent, we couldn't. I missed him right, but I missed him.
Not him when he's with his friends, not him when he forgets about other's feelings. Not when he acts like he knows the best. He can't change, he doesn't want to change. He wants to take drugs and plays around and still love me. They don't fit in the same category.
He waited impatiently for me to talk. His strong jaw was clenched and cue to coldness the tip of his nose was red.
"Jessie, this is not gonna work." I muttered. He heard me cause he let out a loud scoff and then without a second word he turned on his bike and sped up.
I was soaked by the time I started moving again.
I got home after an hour.
I didn't bother showering, I only changed my clothes and then I was in the hall cleaning the dirt off of everywhere.
I glance backwards again to see Dylan still talking with the bulky guy. I don't know what to do. My mind is racing with thoughts and memories and it's driving me insane.
Automatically my hand goes to my denim jacket's pocket and take out the cigarette. A bitter smile curve on my lips. I put it on between my lips, pretending to smoke. Surprisingly my mind seems to calm down even with the act of not smoking.