A loud silence settled over the dinner table, Daniel's eyes shifting from Helena's full plate, to her folded arms, to the frown on her face. It was obvious from her stance that she was once more, going to refuse a meal simply because it had been prepared by Hadassah.
Hadassah sat across the table from him, her head bowed as she picked at her food. Jason on the other hand, sat making a mess of his dinner.
Daniel sat watching, knowing he couldn't be caught doing so for Hadassah believed him blind and he hadn't seen the need to correct her, not yet anyway. A part of him still feared he would wake up to find her gone or to find that she was in love with his brother. He knew he would need to tell her eventually, when the time was right, when his children no longer viewed her as a stranger and in Helena's case, an enemy.
"Pa, would you sleep here with us?" Helena's green eyes pleaded as he readjusted the covers. "Perhaps I shall have another nightmare."
A frown settled on his face as he stood staring down at her. He had been made to spend an entire week in her room because she insisted she was having nightmares. But as he stood considering her request, his eyes searching hers, he knew it was her ploy to keep him away from Hadassah.
Sighing softly, he placed himself on the edge of the bed. "I love her, Helena." Her lips fell open in protest, but just as quickly, she closed them and folded her arms, a frown on her face. "You haven't had nightmares in months, I am certain you shall be alright and if not, Jason's right here." He motioned to the sleeping three year old. He sat still for a few seconds, staring down at Helena's bowed head and waiting for her protest. After a while, he rose to his feet. "Sleep well, Helena."
Turning from her, he made his way to the door.
"Does she love you?" Her soft whisper drifted to where he stood by the door.
Turning to her, "What?"
"I know you love her, father, but does she love you in return?" He stood still watching her for several seconds, considering her question, a question he wasn't sure he held the answer to. Helena's frown deepened. "We need a mother, but I want her to love you, to make you happy because you need to be happy, Father." Tears slipped down her cheeks and he hurriedly covered the distance between them and pulled her into his embrace. Her small arms curled around his neck, her head settling on his shoulder.
He held her close, listening to her sobs until it was silenced completely. Placing her on the bed, he kissed her goodnight and made his way to the bedroom he hoped to share with Hadassah for the first time in two years.
✴✴✴
Dark clouds spread across the heavens, devoid of stars or the moon to brighten the earth beneath. The soft breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees, forcing many to disconnect from their branches and fall to the ground. Silence filled the air, a deep sense of loneliness burying its fangs into Hadassah's heart as she sat still on the stairs of the front porch, eyes fixed on nothing in particular.
The silence of the evening was in sharp contrast with the tumult that was within her. The agonizing feeling of emptiness gnawed at her heart until she was fighting to keep her tears from falling. The harder she tried to make this her home, the clearer it became that she didn't have one. Daniel had managed to build a home without her, a home with two children who neither needed nor wanted her around. She was the intruder, the one who wasn't welcome.
She folded her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. It was nearly four years ago, on a night like this, on a porch, Daniel asked her to marry him. There hadn't been a need for his request, but he had gone ahead to do it anyway. She knew then he didn't love her and she wondered now, seated on the cold porch alone, if he did. She had asked herself the exact question since the day she arrived Rye a week ago and every single night she laid in bed while he slept with the children, she wondered if he loved her. She would convince herself she didn't deserve love in order to fall asleep, but she would wake up every morning desperately desiring it and weeping.
Struggling to her feet, she reached up and wiped the tears that had managed to escape, before making her way into the building, where she knew she would sleep on a large bed all by herself.
She reached the room and pushed the door open, a sigh escaping her lips when the empty bed came into view. Forcing her leg forward, she reached the armoire and found a nightdress. She placed it on the bed and reached behind her to loosen the lace of her dress. She slipped out of her day dress and into the nightdress. Once that was done, she loosened her French braid and turned to the dresser where she found the hair brush seated there. Placing herself on the chair, she began brushing her hair, her mind filled with thoughts of Daniel and the children. Perhaps she was wrong to return, perhaps things were better without her? Tears blurred her vision, her fingers trembling until the comb was falling to the ground beside her. Hurriedly wiping her tears, she leaned down to pick it.
"Here," Something brushed her hand, stopping her. She jerked her head up, a loud gasp escaping her lips as her eyes locked with Daniel's. "Let me." He murmured softly, before reaching down and grabbing the comb. He straightened and she rose to her feet, heart pounding.
"I- erm."
"Sit."
Nodding, she placed herself once more on the chair and watched through the mirror as he began brushing her hair. She felt the brush gently glide through her hair and watched the small frown on his face as he worked, the memory of the night they had consummated their marriage, flashing through her mind.
Warmth crawling up her neck and setting her face ablaze, she glanced down.
The brush stopped moving, alerting her he was finished. Rising to her feet, she turned around and forced a smile to her lips. "Thank you." He stood still, eyes watching her or perhaps just aimed at her for she knew he couldn't see her. Turning her attention to the brush that hung loosely in his hand, she reached for it. "I should take that." The second her hand touched the comb, it slipped to the ground. Instinctively, she leaned down and tried to retrieve it but something took captive of her wrist, pulling her forward until her face was only inches from his and in that second, her breath ceased.
His hand glided slowly up her arm, his eyes holding hers.
"Brown eyes," He finally said, his eyes searching hers. She felt his fingers travel up her arm, past her neck, "Sun kissed skin," Brush against her ear and finally bury themselves in her hair, setting her body ablaze. "Brunette, curly mass of perfection,"
"Daniel," She squeaked, her body reacting to his closeness. She wanted nothing but to lean into his arms, but the part of her that felt guilty, wanted to pull away. "I'm sorry," She shook her head, fighting to keep her tears at bay. "I'm sorry I was willing to lay a bastard at your feet, to be married to your brother, to leave."
"I imagined all of these things, Dasa. I sat for several hours imagining the perfection of your eyes,"
"Daniel, " She deserved some kind of punishment for what she did. She didn't deserve to be here, to be with him. "I'm sorry I came back, I'm sorry I'm disrupting this perfect world you managed to build."
"Your hair,"
"But the thought of leaving, the thought of never seeing you again is unbearable. I can't, " She shook her head, her tears falling.
"Sun rays reflecting off of your skin."
"I don't want to lose you, Daniel,"
"But I never in a million years could have imagined how beautiful you are, how absolutely breathtaking you are."
He wasn't even listening to her! The thought frustrated her as she leaned forward and took hold of his shoulders, "Surely you must despise me, Daniel!"
"You take my breath away, Dasa,"
"Tell me you hate me for what I did! Because I deserve to be hated, I don't deserve you! But I can't lose you!"
"Every time I look at you, you take my breath away."
"I love you!" And she did. She did love him, she loved him more than anything else in the world. She wanted him in her life more than anything and while she knew she was probably not making any sense, she desperately wanted him to believe she loved him.
His hand settled on her face. "I know."
"Y- You d-do?" She sobbed.
"I do."
"I didn't think you were paying attention."
"I have always known, somewhere in my heart, " A small smile settled on his face as his hand caressed her cheek. "I do however love to hear you say it."
"I'm sorry it took this long, I- I kept all of those secrets..." Something settled on her lips, cutting her words off. At first she was shocked, but as his hands tangled around her waist, pulling her close, she settled into his arms and reveled in the sweetness of his kiss.
"Stop speaking," His warm breath caressed her lips, "you must know that Julius lied about everything, you must know Jason's my, our son."
The weight of his words settled in the depths of her belly, causing her legs to tremble. Thankful for the support his arms provided, she fought to keep her breathing regulated. It was nearly impossible to keep the memory of the day she woke up to find Julius by her side, away, but she was determined to do so; she was determined to forget Julius.
"I'm the one who must beg your forgiveness for not being there to protect you."
Tears stung her eyes, slipping slowly down her cheeks. A soft sob escaped her lips as she thought of the implications of Julius' actions, the years wasted, the opportunity she lost to be a mother to her son and a wife to her husband.
Leaning forward until her cheek was pressed to his chest, she gave in to her tears. He stood still before her, his arms tightening its hold around her as she listened to his steady heart beat.
"I love you." Her lips trembled as his arms slackened around her as she watched his feet take a step back. She saw the limp in his step, the realization that he was in pain for standing for too long, filling her with dread. "You should sit." She glanced around, her eyes searching the room for his cane.
"Your body," His voice broke the silence that had managed to build in the room. "I have listened to you take bathes, get dressed..." Slowly, she let her eyes drift back to him, his eyes fixed on her. It was nearly impossible to breathe as the memories of that evening played out before her. "I would like to know what you look like without your clothes."
She didn't hesitate, her hand reaching swiftly behind her as she slipped out of her nightdress, her eyes still fixed on him. She felt her clothes fall to a heap around her feet, her heart stopping as she watched his gaze fall with them.
Slowly, his eyes traveled up her body, her skin catching fire as his eyes came to settle on her face, desire written plainly in them.
She tried to speak but her lips seemed incapable of forming the words her mind desperately sought to ask. When he took a step forward, instinctively, she stepped back, her feet getting caught in her nightdress until she was falling backwards. Bracing herself for the fall, her eyelids pulled shut as a soft cry escaped her lips. Strong hands took hold of her arms, pulling her forward until her body was bumping against his.
Many questions bombarded her mind as her eyelids parted, giving way to the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen, bjut as she opened her mouth to speak, she heard herself ask, "are you blind, my lord?"
A smile played at the corners of his lips as he tipped her chin up and leaned forward, "do I look blind, Dasa?" She felt his arm wrapping around her waist and forcing her body forward. Yet, all she could do as she stood before him, was stare into the depths of his eyes. He leaned down until his lips were brushing against hers. "You're perfect. I love you."
"Daniel..." She squeaked.
"Stop speaking, Dasa." His lips settled on hers, setting her entire body on fire.
Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips parting to welcome his. His lips disconnected from hers and settled on her cheeks, trailing downwards to her neck. She felt his lips explore her body, a soft moan escaping her lips as her eyelids snapped shut. She felt him carry her into his arms, the warmth of his skin pressed against hers, leaving her breathless. He placed her on the bed and captured her lips once more, their souls reconnecting after so many months of being apart.
Copyright © 2018 Lily Orevba All rights reserved.