Looking at the motivational poster, I couldn't stop myself from snorting at the ridiculousness of it all. 'Why fit in, when you were born to stand out?' Who ever came up with that masterpiece was clearly not a wolf-shifter or had ever been a teenager. I would have killed to fit in - literally. Maybe not literally, but well whatever. Time seemed to go slow in the waiting room, and looking sidewards at the woman to my right I wondered what she was in here for.
Did she grow up constantly wishing she could fit in with her family, friends, pack?
Had she nearly been killed by her bullies as a kid, or better yet - by an estranged, psychotic, vampire who was her biological father?
Maybe her parents had lied and kept a secret from her for twenty-four years too.
Another check of the time and a two minutes had passed, eleven in total past my actual appointment time. This was stupid. I didn't need to talk about my issues with a psychologist. I was well aware of what they were and didn't need to be taught breathing techniques if I felt panicky or to start a journal detailing my thoughts and feelings to help me process everything.
I'd been here before, back was I was so much younger and completely helpless. After Gwen's cousins attacked for shits and giggles, the only way I got through it was knowing in a couple of years I'd be able to go. I could move out of home and leave them, leave it all behind me. So what about now?
I said nothing as I left.
Just being there made me anxious. I didn't want to talk to anyone about David. When I did, I spoke to Mum. In someways it was cruel and I wondered why it was always her. Was I trying to hurt for her how I had been hurt? On bad days I told myself it was so she knew she had made the right decisions for both of us by staying away; a tiny way to ease the guilt I knew she was full of. We both tried to see the best in him, and luckily fate never let it get too far as it would have ended up costing us everything. She understood, more than I thought she or anyone ever could the first time I broke down in front of her and now it was something we managed to bond over; a way for both of us to heal and move on.
"Ah, you're not supposed to be out yet?" Hannah quizzed the second I made it onto the street.
"Appointments got cancelled. Doctor is sick or something." I lie.
"Yeah right." She squeezed my shoulder, the concern on her face touching. I never told her the truth, about what we are, what I am. She did know about the family politics and attempting kidnapping minus a few details. It was enough.
"Positive." Thankfully she dropped it.
We went to our favourite Japanese place for lunch and amazingly she didn't bring any of it up once. Instead we talked about the normal and everyday things like changes at work, the latest with her and Stephen and how the brother she never did like, was now in jail thanks to his not so great business partners who did some not so great things. Turns out, other families were just as messed up as mine.
"So, where are you off to this weekend? I hope Aiden has something special planned." She fished, hoping I'd slip up and tell her something better than we were heading home to see my family.
"Considering my parents and brothers are all going to be under the same roof, I doubt that."
We soon finish up and say our goodbyes, which makes me almost regret cancelling my appointment. In a couple of hours we'll be starting the drive home, and I will be attending my very first full moon party. My parents and Gwen's thought it would be a good opportunity for me to run with the pack. A coming out of sorts. I thought it was going to be a new version of hell and wished I had kept my wolf genes dormant. Thankfully no one knew about my other side, and the fact I know could change was placed on Aiden's arrival - the mate crap they all went on about so much to blame, or thank.
Just over two months had passed since that night and once we had recovered, Aiden and Brianna came up with a training plan of sorts. We practised my shifting, from human to wolf and back again and I was given tasks to complete to adjust to being on four legs instead of two. I had been a weak human, and I was a weak wolf, Antonino had that right. But that was also then. Now, weak wasn't a word I would use and while I learnt how to keep pace with Aiden, running with a pack of pure shifters as awkward little hybrid me was still as appealing as when I wasn't able to shift at all. Brianna kept telling me it was amazing that it had even happened, and how romantic it all kind of was as somewhere inside of me, it was the wolf that answered the call to defend Aiden. I thought it was stupid. I was like a newborn giraffe running around the place and of no help to anyone, but despite saying it was the worst timing on the night, she now thought it was perfect.
Witches make no sense.
"You're home early?" Aiden stops eating as I enter the kitchen.
"I didn't go." I admit.
"Ok."
"Ok?" It was partly his idea after I'd woken a couple of nights ago from another nightmare. To just be, ok, about it didn't seem right.
"I know how you can be with this stuff so if you didn't go, it's fine. No arguments from me. I was surprised you even made the appointment to start with." He shrugged.
"Oh, ok."
We just stare at each other for a second and I'm was kind of expecting something, more out of him. Some kind of reaction or a lecture. Something.
"Did you want me to make a deal out of it? I can, but that car ride to your parents is going to be feeling ten times longer than if we were getting along."
I know he's joking, but I shrug. "At least then I'd be thinking of you and not where we were going and why."
Something changes then. His face goes blank in that way that I hate. I can never tell what he's thinking like this and as he abandons his sandwich on the table, he heads my way. Cautiously I step back, the look in his eyes telling me that I'm in trouble.
"You won't be thinking about me during the drive?" He sounds offended and I have no idea where this is going.
"Well, yeah, you'll be with me, but I'm going to be thinking-"
"About me. Only about me." It's more of a demand than I'm expecting and before I can answer, he's got me up and over his shoulder. We head into the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I groan.
"Making sure what I'm about to do with you is all you can think about on the way there." He promises.
"You're-" I start, but he shakes his head.
"No, I'm not insane. Because if that doesn't work, at least you'll be thinking about what I'm going to do to you once we're there."
It's then the house phone starts to ring and as he groans, I can't deny I'm disappointed at the distraction. Not that it seems to be a major distraction as my shoes, pants and well, all my clothes manage to disappear. It's then the machine picks it up and we freeze as my mother's voice comes down the corridor.
"Darling, it's your mother. I know you're there. Pick up! Well, I presume you're there. Or Aiden, are you there love?" She calls out.
"I promised no more screening of her calls." I groan.
He moves, and I roll over to get up and practically run through the house to grab the phone. Why do I even still have that machine? Oh right, to screen calls exactly like this one because for what ever reason, Mum refuses to use mobile phones like a normal person.
"Hello Mum." I sigh.
"Sam? Are you alright, you sound-"
"I'm fine. What's up?" Never mind we'll be seeing her tonight.
"I just wanted to make sure you're still coming home? Shouldn't you have left by now?" She almost accuses.
It's not her fault. This new and improved daughter of hers is probably making her paranoid as hell. I'm making an effort. I'm about to come and visit for something I really don't want and it's not even her birthday or a typical holiday I'd show up for. Plus I answered her call when she was expecting us to already be in the car. None of that matters as I slowly turn around, the warmth of Aiden's body behind me sending a rush of goosebumps over my exposed skin.
"We will be leaving soon. I just had a-" I don't talk as he scoops up with more ease than I appreciate and drops me on the sofa. The look in his eye has my heart racing and as he looms over me, I realise exactly what he's about to do. "Don't you dare!"
"What?" Mum asks confused.
"Sorry, not you Mum. Aiden just-"
He dares.
Oh he definitely dares as I try to curl my legs up to keep us separated, glaring at him as he instead kisses my ankle, my knee, before stretching my leg out taking away my attempt at a defense.
"I'm so happy for you love. Really I am. So what time are you leaving?" She carries on, reminding me to check the oil and water in the car and the tyre pressure, while I am frantically trying to push him away.
"I'll call you back." I quickly tell her as he moves along my thigh and higher still.
My attack to stop him ends as he reaches his target, the satisfied gleam in his eyes as he knows he has won has me looking up to the ceiling before I close my eyes and try so hard to focus on anything other what he is now doing to me.
"I'm about to head out to the supermarket, so I wanted to check you were still coming before I left. Do you think I should do a roast tonight? Beef or Chicken?" Mum muses, oblivious to the struggle I'm having my end of the line.
My body responds in ways I wish it wouldn't right now, my responses to Mum are becoming shorter, intense and gods who cared about how many potatoes she'd need to cook right now!
"I gotta finish. Packing. Finish packing. I'll see you tonight. Love you." I mumble quickly, hanging up and dropping the phone on the floor, before daring to glare at Aiden. "I hate you."
"Yeah? What about when I do this?" He mocks.
He sits up, guiding me closer against him before everything that I had been holding back is unleashed.
"I hate it when you do that." I mumble against him, as I manage to pull myself up enough to push against him. He obliges, as if I could actually over power him - and now I'm on top and in charge.
"Well, I love it when you do this." It's that smirk that gets me and leaning closer, my fangs are out as I kiss his collarbone, his shoulder - teasing and biting before the tension building between us is released.
Sitting in the passenger seat on the drive to my parents and I barely pay attention the music he has one, where we are exactly or anything else as my body is still humming with a mixture of satisfaction and exhaustion. Catching my eye, he smiles that smile and reaching out, I put my hand in his and that's where it stays.
He said he'd be the only thing I thought about on the drive, and I hate it when he is right.
______________________
"It's a bit cliche isn't it?" I mumble, helping my brothers with the dishes. I say helping, but really it's more like supervising.
Dad and Aiden are apparently bonding in the front room over something on the TV which adds a whole new level of strange to my life, while Mum wraps up leftovers.
"Probably." Jack shrugs.
"Well, when you're howling at the moon I'll be sure to remind you how much of a cliche you're being." Luke flicks a bunch of bubbles my way. "You know, two people can dry up."
"Oh good thing you've finished washing then huh?" I slip down off the bench and leave them to it.
There's an excitement in the house I had never felt before. The air was clear, the past was in the past and my brothers badly hidden joy at my recent discovery was something that not only warmed my heart, but broke it too. They had always been my warriors, my cheer team and my support group. I get how it must be for them to have me able to shift with them, but it kind of hurt it meant this much to them. They'd never cared, never questioned and it had been okay. I guess it had always mattered, they just didn't know how much until now.
"You alright?" Aiden was there as he always was when I needed him and as his arms pulled me close, I was tempted to get him to drive us home.
"Yeah. Just, thinking."
"Wanna get out of here for a bit?" He offered.
"No, we have to go to the alpha's place soon."
"You know you're going to have to submit to them at some point during the night, right?"
"What if I don't want to be part of their stupid little pack. I've always been a lone wolf, why can't it stay that way?" I groan. "They can just keep tolerating my presence at the occasional pack thing and the rest of the time, we just be us."
"Maybe. Who knows what will happen. Pretty sure there are years of back chat, disrespect and acting out they might want to let you know they didn't appreciate." I groan again, hating the fact I agreed to this crap and the fact he sounds amused by it all. "Too bad I won't be letting you leave my side tonight."
Ah there it was. Of course it wouldn't matter what was going on, Aiden had my back and I knew Nathan and Kate wouldn't dare try anything with him around.
"What if I don't want to be stuck with you?" I dare to tease.
"Oh you're always going to want to be stuck with me." He kisses the tip of my nose, and I know he's right.
He's stuck with me too.
"Confident aren't you?"
"Hate to interrupt what ever this is, but we're going to be late." Gwen stands in the doorway, with an all too pleased look on her face. I'd forgotten she was coming with us since she didn't want to deal with her parents before such a big night.
"I'm always late." I shrug.
"Yeah, but you don't want to be for this!"
"Come on Sammy!" Luke calls, as the guys make a run for the front door.
We go with Gwen while my brothers ride with my parents. She and Aiden chat like it's just any other day while I never knew I could feel this nervous about anything. We're at her place before I even know it and judging from the cars everywhere, we aren't the first to arrive. Last time I was here, I had a run in with Megan and when I tried to leave it turned into the first of what would be many, life changing moments coming my way. I take Aiden's hand, wondering if he was thinking the same thing as we head around the back to where the pack had gathered. Mum waves us over and while there was peace between us now, my Dad barely looks our way as he listens to whatever Nathan is saying.
"And she has finally arrived." He calls, as all eyes that weren't on us already now are. "Samara, we have treated you as pack as long as you and your family have lived here. We treat you as pack now, as we always have though tonight, you will run with us!"
Murmurs and whispers break out as a few people awkwardly clap. No one knows what to think now, and Gwen takes my free hand, giving it a squeeze.
"We got your back Sam." She whispers as her parents approach.
Their eyes don't leave Aiden until Kate extends her arms in my direction. She wants to, hug me? It's awkward and forced, and I can hear Gwen trying not to laugh.
"First your mate, then your wolf. We're so happy for you Samara." She gushes, looking at Mum who is looking nearly as awkward as I am. "You must all be so proud."
"We are." Dad speaks before Mum can, and even my brothers don't hide their surprise. He looks at me in a way I can't remember him ever doing, his eyes glistening with un-shed tears as he coughs slightly as if to clear his throat. "We are all, very proud of her."
It's not just us having this moment. The pack is silent and watching, curious more than anything else and with the alpha's acceptance and support, the past seems to be erased from their minds as easily as I kind of wish it was from mine. I can't just, let it go. Experience has taught me not to let my guard down and as the alphas shift, their howls calling us out as they start to run - we all do the same.
Except for me.
"I can't." I shake my head as my family stop. "I just, this isn't me."
"But it can be." Mum tells me softly. "There is nothing holding you back anymore love. We all love you no matter what, but you need to accept yourself too."
She gives me a hug, and Dad only nods. "She's right Samara. This is all up to you now. We aren't going to force you to do what you don't want to do."
My brothers say nothing. They don't have to as our parents have said it all, and as Gwen open and shuts her mouth, I let her hand go as she leaves with them. Then it's just me and Aiden.
"My whole life I have wanted to feel like I belong. I wanted to be like everyone else, not different and I convinced myself it didn't matter. What am I doing?" I sigh. "The only time I've ever not felt that way, was after I found you and, then I found out why I am different and oh hell, I don't know. Why is everyone even being so nice? Now I can grow a tail I'm in the gang?"
"Maybe. Maybe they also just happen to care about you and always have in their own way, you've just never been able to see it until now?"
I roll my eyes as someone howled, then another. Without even thinking I turned in that direction.
"Don't make it sound so, soppy."
Aiden shrugged. "I'm not anything I say is going to be the right thing or what you want to hear. Stop thinking about, everything, and just focus on the here and the now."
"That part is easy." I huff, leaning against him as he placed a kiss on the top of my head.
"Good. So, what do you really want to do, right now?"
A chorus erupts as the moon finally escapes the cloud that had covered it. It's soft, blue white light sends a chill up my spine as I stand up straighter. Looking at Aiden, his gaze is intense as he watches as me and then without even needing to say a word we move at the exact same time, shifting before we take off after the others. I find Gwen first, then my brothers before my parents join us.
I've never felt this way when changed. So connected. So free. Aiden keeps close, letting my brothers pick on me as they would do in any form until I seek him out on my own. Others come by, curiously sniffing and tails wagging - always under the watchful and steady gaze of our alpha's. They leave us be. After my initial arrival, they all do and that's that. It's a perfect night, the moon is bright and a game of chase breaks out as one poor little rabbit dared to make a run for home at the worst time imaginable. I'm soon exhausted in a way I never imagined and with Aiden at my side, we sit back and rest a while.
And it seems so stupid to me now as this really was where I belonged all along.
The End.