If in life we are defined by the choices we make then Matty Healy was a monster and he knew that deep down as he was driving with Frankie on his side to his mother's house.
At the end if the day he knew that Frankie was bleeding for love but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to. He pushed harder, dug deeper and got what he wanted: her.
He knew it would end badly, before the troubles it was a beautiful thing to be lovers, after all, how can two people who love be offensive? There was nothing offensive with him tangled in the sheets with Frankie, but then again the bitterness had grown faster than the sidewalk weeds and the notion of "purity" is brandished worse than any weapon.
It is the obsession of the powerful, what as commoners may and may not do. It's like they fear love itself, like it's love they want to put in a cage, convict it as an emotion too dangerous for the masses. So what now?
If fun has to be the "right sort" it isn't fun. If music has to be "the right sort" it can't lift the soul. If "love" must be sanctioned by those in power, it will die and leave a hole in our hearts to be filled with hate and depression. It's no wonder young lovers are caught every week, shamed in the town square, and punished in medieval ways.
Love was something that Matty needed, he craved it.
Addiction was also a thing that he craved, it was his nemesis and his closest friend (besides George). His higher brain applied logical thought, as if that could make a difference as he was trying to avoid the sharp pain in his stomach as he was driving, he wanted it; he desired it.
His primal brain didn't care tho, he felt the screaming of his body chemistry for more and as he was riding next to Frankie he realized that he really needed a hit, There was no way to educate his brain that somehow he has been poisoning himself and that the chemicals that he craved weren't anything to do with survival. So at the end it was him against millions of years of evolution and you can guess who was losing.
"Ok here it is" Matty said pulling over looking at Frankie. "Mhm" she muttered opening the door, hesitantly she looked back, a smile creeping over her face as she leaned in kissing his cheek in a soft and sweet way.
"See you there"
-
"Ok so the presentation is about obscurantism" Louis said as he closed the door of his bedroom- it looked like any "Z Generation" teenage's bedroom: white walls and sheets with a New York loft look and Tyler the creator and other rappers on the walls with a vape thingy on the desk.
"Ugh" Frankie exclaimed rolling her eyes.
"What is it?
"I'm not really feeling the vibe to do that fucking presentation" She said in a sarcastic tone.
"Well it couldn't be that bad" he said blushed cheeks as Frankie was sitting on his unmade bed taking off her shoes- Eyebrows risen. "I'm probably the only girl that has sat on his bed, what a virgin. Too bad I already shagged his brother" she thought.
"Oh it is" she said remembering what they were talking about before she got too caught up on her own thoughts. "How would you know?" She smiled.
"You see: there is a less polite word for obscurantism, do you know what that is?" He shakes his head muttering a soft 'no'. "Well" She continued. "It's bullshit." He snorted.
"Within philosophy there is a minor sub-discipline that you might call 'bullshittology', You mind if I smoke?" She asked cigarette in hand. He asked his head again. "Ok so 'bullshitology' does not engage directly in anything or provide any huge mechanisms to explain the persistence of a large body of scholarly nonsense." She sigh and he was falling more for her as the clocked ticked.
"Anyway in my opinion, obscurantism is located within cognitive psychology and the sociology of science, not within philosophy. Im rambling but for example psychologists have shown that the human mind engages in pattern-seeking, seeing connections and all that shit when in fact none exist. It's all pluralistic ignorance, groupthink and herding at the end, you can't just nail down the essence of obscurantism in a 7 slide keynote presentation. I guess."
Louis Healy stayed quiet mostly because he didn't know what to say nor he understood have of the things that she said. "What?" She asked inhaling the smoke felling slightly self aware.
"I guess I just didn't know that you knew so much about all that philosophic bullshit" He said in awe. "Well there are many things that you don't know about me, I'm just not a pretty face you know?" She smiled, he did too.
They worked on the presentation for a bout half an hour, well Loui did. Frankie just kind of laid down on his bed and rolled her eyes and corrected him when Louis was wrong: She spelled scientist names for him and corrected time dates.
"You're actually quite smart for someone that parties all the time. " He said after a while.
"What's wrong with parties? I prefer just fucking my way through life besides, I don't like school." She said looking at the ceiling playing with the loose string at the bottom of her shirt.
They stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity until she felt a soft knock and Louis muttering a " Come in"- it was Denise.
"Hey guys dinner is ready" The sweet lady said with a smile. "Louis' brother came for dinner,I hope you don't mind" "Not at all" Frankie said with a sweet smile finding the situation hilarious forgetting that Matty was in the household too.
"Ohh his girlfriend is here too. You will love Gabby!"
She felt her heart sink.
-
Gabriella Brooks was the kind of girl that women loved to hate. She was an adult Frankie supposed, but so young that she still had the exuberance of youth. She had that movie star look, not overly tall and willowy, but more like an action star.
Her muscle definition was perfect and she walked with the confidence of someone a decade older. She wasn't just flawless in her bone structure, her skin was like silk over glass and she radiated an intelligent beauty.
Frankie felt like a ugly ducking sitting next to her and tried not to look at Matty cause if she did she would explode knowing that morning they had fucked.
"So, Frankie right?" Denise said trying to make conversation and Frankie just hoped that she would shut the fuck up.
"Yeah, that's my name." She said looking down at her plate of spaghetti, meat balls and tall glass of apple juice.
"You're American? I don't know why I haven't caught your accent!" Denise exclaimed. "Were are you from? tell us!" She said and it also to felt like a demand and Frankie couldn't breath properly.
"I was born in California but I moved here at 14" Frankie said trying to keep her answer short and sweet trying to to splurge out that she was fucking her older son.
"Really that's amazing! How funny, I was just in LA." Said a honey like voice that came from her side. It was Gabby. "Yeah, I love LA." Frankie said. "You have such pretty eyes, doesn't she Matty?" Gabby said looking at her boyfriend from across the table.
"Yeah, she does." He mutter looking into her eyes and fuck she felt like she was going to choke on that fucking pasta.
"So tell us Frankie" Denise said her fork on one hand with a meatball attached to it. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Both Matty and Louis Healy choked on their apple juice.
Autor's note:
Hey sooo music for cars? I'm I right.... honestly I wasn't expecting it to be era but I'm so excited that we are getting TWO MOTHERFUCKING ALBUMS. gyat is everything and I just loved the angst and post punk vibes. Hope you like this chapter. xxxx