I stared at the flowers. They were roses--brilliantly red, with deep green stems and countless petals--but they didn't hold my interest for very long. I didn't bother with trying to sniff at them like most people might have, and I didn't thank the man who had set them there as he retreated back out of the room. I didn't even reach for the card propped up among the leaves to see who they were from, because I had a good idea of that already.
I just gazed up at the blank ceiling, switching between that and the equally bare wall. This room was so vacant. There was no personality to it--just four walls, a bed, and a nightstand. I felt as if I was enclosed in the space, completely trapped. I longed to walk outside, to see the blue sky and the fluffy clouds, but more than anything--I longed to seehim.
It had been nearly a month now. I wasn't sure exactly of what day it was, or even the month--I'd lost track. But I knew that it had been too long. I wanted out of here, out of this cold, lonely place.
At first I'd thought that I was waking up in a hospital, that handful of weeks ago. Niall was there, but only him, and every time I would float in and out of consciousness he would just repeat that everything was okay. I shouldn't have believed him.
I suppose things weren't as horrible as they could be. I had learned that I was, in fact, alive. Niall was quick to point this out, as if I couldn't clearly see it myself, before going on to explain that Harry had been taken into custody.
He had a big gang and had done many wrong things, and this, all on top of him blowing up two cars and killing multiple people in the process, had him getting served twenty-five years in prison. I could very clearly remember gasping in horror when I'd heard this. Twenty-five days was too long to be apart from him, let alone twenty-five years.
The boys had been planning on breaking him out, even if they would have to go into hiding, but before they could, someone else did. And apparently they had snagged me from the ambulance as well. It was all still so confusing. I felt like I only had bits and pieces of the story.
I knew that I was safe, wherever the hell I was at. I'd only come in contact with a few people, all of who claimed to be my 'unofficial doctors'. They'd done their 'unofficial' job well. I was recovering, and even though my leg was still incredibly sore, I could walk.
The boys had visited me a few times, but it was mostly just Niall, and his visits had grown less frequent. Nobody ever shared much with me. They just came in, said hi, asked how I was doing, and then lapsed into a horrible silence.
I knew that it was down to me to start the conversation, but I never wanted to, and the sole reason for my sinking back into some unwanted robotic state was the fact that for at least three weeks, Harry had been out of jail, and in that entire time, I had not seen or heard from him once.
I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. The boys never offered up any information, and I never bothered with asking. I knew that they wouldn't supply me with the knowledge I so desired, and I wasn't about to waste my breath on pointless questions and unnecessary arguments, no matter how much I missed Harry.
The door opened then, but I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling. It was probably another man to come check on me briefly, or maybe take the roses away. I wasn't sure, but I didn't care what he did.
"You're not going to open the card?"
My entire body froze, every muscle turning to ice as I disbelievingly tilted my head down. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded over his broad chest. Messy curls were pushed back off of his forehead, his dark eyes staring at me with an intensity that had me itching to look away, but I was, as always, captivated by his gaze.
I hadn't moved in weeks. I had been bed-ridden, and every time I even hinted at going outside, I was given an eerie look that was enough to have me silencing and curling onto my side, not particularly seeing anything interesting about walking around the small room I was practically being held captive in, and prepared for another day here. But I disregarded all of this as I pushed the sheets from around my body, uncaring that I was dressed in only a large, plain shirt and underwear as I ran across the room.
I don't think Harry expected me to launch myself at him. He stumbled back slightly as my body collided into his, hitting the wall rather roughly as I wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing myself as close to him as I possibly could and breathing in the familiar scent that I had grown so used to. It felt refreshing, my lungs filling completely up with air for once, as if I hadn't been able to breathe before with Harry gone, and suddenly I could.
I held tightly onto him, but after a few moments had gone past, he was standing rigidly, his hands curled into fists at his sides. I frowned, my grip loosening before I completely pulled away, looking up at Harry.
His eyes were completely black, not a trace of the green I was so fond of present. His lips were set into a thin line, his expression stoney. I didn't understand why he refused to look at me, or why he seemed absolutely livid, and I became especially confused by his next words.
"I shouldn't be doing this."
There wasn't even a second for me to question what he was saying though as he suddenly pulled me back to him, crushing my body closer than I had thought was possible. I gasped at the sudden contact, but the air got stuck in my throat when Harry abruptly lifted me up. My legs were immediately rounding his waist, my ankles locking so that I would stay in place.
Harry flipped us so that my back was pressing almost painfully into the wall but I didn't even care about the pain as he crushed his mouth down onto mine, instantly parting my lips with his tongue.
He was kissing me with a vigor I hadn't expected, tugging almost harshly at my bottom lip with his teeth as I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling his face closer to mine. A groan vibrated against my mouth and my entire body shivered in response.
It surprised me when Harry suddenly moved one hand to my hair, gently pulling my head back, the careful movements drastically different from how he was handling me elsewhere. I complied, air being sucked harshly into my lungs as Harry began to suck on my neck, his teeth scraping against the sensitive skin. I was trembling beneath him, almost sliding down his body, but he was pressing so tightly into me that I couldn't move even if I had wanted to.
As soon as I was sure that there would be a sizable mark on my neck, Harry pulled away, his gaze burning into my face for a moment before he abruptly released me. I just barely caught myself before I could fall down, feeling extremely grateful for the wall beside me for support as I regained my balance.
When I looked back up, Harry was over beside the bed I had occupied for so long, and I noticed that he was snatching up the clothing Niall had brought me and stuffing it into my duffel bag. I had cared very little about where my clothes landed when I was finished with them. They were always returned to me fresh and clean when I woke up, and no one had said a word to me about the state I kept the room in, so I decided that it didn't matter when I had all but abandoned my bag in the corner.
"Harry," I moved towards him quickly, ignoring the throbbing ache in my legs from both my injury and the lack of movement I'd experienced. He ignored me, continuing to shovel clothes into the bag. He hesitated only briefly when he picked up one of my discarded bras, glancing at the material for a second longer than necessary, before stuffing it in with the rest of the clothing items.
"What are you--"
"We're leaving," he cut me off curtly. "Put these on." He tossed me a pair of pajama shorts, not even bothering to look at me as he continued to throw whatever I had carelessly tossed about the room into the bag.
I soundlessly tugged on the soft material before turning to watch Harry. He was like a whirlwind, his movements harsh and angry. I couldn't understand what was going on with him. He had seemed okay when he first came in, and then angry, and then passionate, and then back to this confusing rage that I couldn't make any sense of.
Was he mad at me? I didn't think we'd even been in the same room long enough for him to be thisfurious.
I hesitantly stepped forward. "Harry?"
No answer.
I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for him to get even angrier at me as I stepped directly in his path. He stopped immediately, but the glare he gave me when I looked up had me immediately cringing away from him. "Harry, what's going on with y--"
Harry's lips cut me off as he all but threw me back into the wall, his body crushing to mine just like before. His lips moved quickly, roughly, his tongue prying my mouth open before I could even blink. Somehow, I could tell that the anger pulsing through him wasn't directed at me. I didn't know how I knew that, but I was almost positive that it had something to do with the fact that, despite how clearly furious he seemed, he was still just barely grazing my skin with his fingertips, his grip tight but gentle. He hadn't lost his control, and knowing that, I knew that he wouldn't force himself on me if he was in the right mindset.
It was rare that I pushed Harry away, but I didn't see any other option. I don't think he expected me to suddenly shove up against his chest, yet still he didn't budge from the movement. Only when he realized what I was trying to do did he tear himself away from me, taking an automatic step back. His eyes were narrowed and dark, scanning over my face with a speculative look.
"Harry, what the hell are you doing?" I snapped as soon as I had caught my breath.
He didn't answer as his gaze traveled slowly over me, starting at my feet and leisurely making it's way up to meet my curious eyes. I didn't move as he slowly approached me, even though I wanted to. He was so tall, towering over me in an intimidating manner, and suddenly I wanted to be away from his intense gaze.
His hands gently landed on my hip bones and he tapped his fingers against my skin slowly. "Hmm," he hummed, his eyes down between us before he looked back up at me. "I think you should take these shorts off again."
My eyes widened. "Harry, please, what's going on with you?"
This obviously wasn't the right thing to say.
His eyes darkened and suddenly he was pressed up against me again, his hot breath on my face as he looked down into my eyes. I found it impossible to look away, no matter how much I wanted to. "We don't have any time left, Alice," his tone was harsh and I flinched away from the sound of it. "We areout of time."
"I-I don't understand--"
"Dammit, Alice, just shut up!" he groaned, pulling at his hair suddenly as he glowered down at me.
I frowned, gazing down at the ground now. "You're scaring me," I whispered. I didn't know why Harry was acting the way that he was. It was weird and I couldn't figure it out. He had snapped before, but it wasn't like that now. He was clearly very in control of himself, so why was he acting so strangely?
His entire body froze at my words and then his hands were on my face, tilting my head up to look at him. His touch was gentle, but his eyes were still dark. "Don't be scared," he said seriously. "I don't mean to scare you."
"Then stop with this--"
"Shut up," he cut me off.
I stared at him incredulously "Harry--"
"Shut up and kiss me."
Harry's lips once again pressed down onto mine, but this time, there was a change there--because I didn't respond as he tried to force his tongue into my mouth. I didn't move against him the way he tried to get me to. I just shut down my body, my eyes snapping shut as I froze completely beneath his touch.
As soon as he had pulled away I reopened my eyes, staring up at him. His eyes were narrowed, that calculating look back on his face as he abruptly grabbed my waist and pulled my lower half flush against him, peering down at me curiously.
He bent down so that we were eye level, his face just inches from mine. He looked like he was about to start yelling at me, or throwing me into more walls maybe before assaulting me with his tongue, but I found my eyes widening in surprise when he did neither of those things.
His nose rubbed affectionately against mine, his bottom lip being tugged back by his teeth as he breathed, "I love you."
I felt warmth spread throughout my entire body, and I shivered as he pressed a delicate kiss to my cheek before he brushed his nose against mine again. His fingers slowly wrapped around my wrists and brought them up to his neck. My body instinctively responded, my hands twisting automatically into his curls.
He leaned his forehead against mine, the hint of a smile on his lips as he gazed at me. "I want to make love to you," he whispered, "as if it's the last time."
My eyes widened as his fingers brushed across my stomach, just above the hem of the shorts he'd asked me to put on. He was searching my gaze, looking for any confirmation or denial there. But when I didn't give him any, his lips brushed mine just barely. "Let me make love to you," he breathed. "Let me show you just how much I love you..."
"You don't have to prove yourself to me," I finally responded quietly.
"We don't have any time left, Alice," he replied back, and I stared at him in confusion, still not understanding what he was getting at. "It's almost all gone now, and I'm not wasting the rest of it." I didn't know how to reply, and I knew that he could see how perplexed I was, but he didn't try to elaborate as he pressed his lips to mine just barely. His hands skimmed my sides before moving them around to my lower back and pulling me close to him.
And that's when all of my willpower crumbled into dust. All of the irrational anger I'd pent up at Harry for not seeing me after I'd nearly died in his arms vanished completely, and I was the first one to tangle our tongues again, his hands moving to capture my wrists and pin them against the wall behind us, his body crushing into mine.
Harry took no time in lifting up the bottom of my shirt and he tore his lips away from me to gaze at my freshly exposed skin, his eyes clouding over in lust when he saw that I hadn't put on a bra. "Fuck," he cursed as he slid down my body slowly, his hands trailing over my curves as he enveloped a nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly on it.
I leaned farther into the wall, Harry's touch igniting fire beneath my skin as he kissed sloppily down my stomach. He didn't pause as he rid me of the small pajama shorts. He tossed the clothes away, obviously uncaring of the fact that just a little while ago he was angrily trying to pick up all of my belongings.
Harry's large hands landed on my thighs and he easily turned me around so that I was facing the wall before he leaned his forehead against the back of my leg for a moment, a light kiss being pressed to the skin before he trailed his warm lips up my thigh. He paused when he reached my underwear and I took in a sharp breath as I felt his mouth against me, his teeth dragging down the thin material that kept me from being completely naked.
While he pulled them down, his hands slithered around to my front. His fingers were quick to part my feminine folds before he ran two fingers up the center. I shivered, the lightest of moans falling fro my lips as he completely rid me of my underwear and stood back up, his body pressing into the back of mine as he rubbed his fingers in a quick motion over my clit.
I moaned against him, my head falling back onto his shoulder as he only quickened the pace before unexpectedly slipping a finger inside of me. He didn't even pause in his actions as he began to pump in and out of me, barely giving me time to enjoy the feeling of the first finger before he added another.
I suppressed a moan as it threatened to fill up the room. Harry's lips were suddenly at my ear. "Be loud, Alice. Be as fucking loud as you can possibly be. I want to hear your moans echoing off of the walls when I get inside of you." I shivered at his words as he nipped at the skin of my shoulder, his fingers still pumping in and out of me at a pace that had me panting, soft moans falling from my lips, when suddenly he pulled away. I turned, shakily watching as he brought his hand to his mouth and sucked on his fingers, his eyes closing briefly before he sighed and reopened them, his gaze covered in pure lust.
"I'm going to take you right up against this wall," he breathed as he began to remove his shirt. My eyes widened at his words and I remained frozen there while he rid his body of his pants and shoes. My eyes glided downwards to his boxers where a very prominent bulge was rising up, desperately aching to burst free.
Harry was quick to release his throbbing member before moving closer to me, his mouth attaching to mine. The kiss almost completely distracted me as Harry gently grabbed my thigh and hitched my leg up and around his waist. I propped myself up more against the wall, feeling almost unprepared as Harry abruptly entered me without any warning whatsoever.
A gasp fell from my mouth and he chuckled against my lips as he slid all the way in, his mouth still working heavily against mine as he started with slow thrusts that quickly turned into a faster, more powerful pace. I was forced to pull away from the kiss as I all but fell into Harry, my leg around him trembling. I was glad that it wasn't my previously injured one, since that one was still sore and bandaged, though Harry had made no comment on this.
I was panting into his ear, moans constantly falling from my lips as Harry supported me against the wall, thrusting up and into me with a passionate fire burning in his eyes. He was watching my face as it tilted up towards the ceiling, a cry escaping my mouth as he took a particularly hard thrust into me.
"You like that?" he mumbled out, and the next second he was pummeling into me, our bodies crashing against each other in a manner that had me moaning loudly in pleasure, my hands holding tightly onto Harry's broad shoulders before moving down his back, nails scratching over the toned skin.
"Fuck!" Harry was cursing left, right, and center as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, his hot pants sending goosebumps shivering up and down my spine.
I felt that familiar building deep in the pit of my stomach, and it steadily grew as Harry continued to pound into me as if, as he had said, this was the last time that we would ever get to be this intimate with one another. I couldn't dwell on that thought for very long as I found myself shaking against Harry.
"I'm g-going to--"
I didn't expect to cry out Harry's name as I reached my peak, my entire body curling around his as he continued to sloppily thrust up into me. Only seconds later I felt him release, falling into my body, but still being sure to support his weight against the wall as he held me close before pulling out.
I was breathless now and covered in sweat, but I had never felt better than I did now as I leaned into Harry.
"That was perfect," he whispered into my ear and I clung to him tighter, feeling thoroughly complete after having felt so alone for so long. There was a dull ache in my leg from how rough we had been, but I ignored it.
And for once, I didn't care that Harry had pumped into me so quickly, his hands having held me too tightly, because it was Harry. He was the one who had saved me from the seemingly bottomless pit of destruction I had buried myself deep within, and because of this, I knew that I would do absolutely anything with him, go anywhere with him. It was him. Always him.
---
I didn't know what to think.
I had left Harry to clean up in the bathroom with him in a mood that had butterflies fluttering around my stomach. I felt like, after going through absolute hell, we were back to where I wanted us to be, but as soon as I had returned and asked if we could go home now, he had stiffened up, blocking me out as he regathered my belongings.
I waited by the door, feeling confused and hurt as Harry picked up the bouquet of roses that still remained untouched and looked over to me. "Open the door," he muttered as he approached. I sighed, complying with his request.
It was the first time that I had been out of this room in three weeks, yet I didn't feel quite as happy as I had imagined that I would as I followed Harry, my gaze scanning the area.
We walked through seemingly endless halls, all blank, stone walls like the room I had resided in. There were doors everywhere, but Harry didn't pause at any of them, that is until we had walked down a staircase and reached a landing with a massive door that almost blended in with the wall.
Harry opened it with his free hand, having shifted my bag over his shoulder after refusing to let me help carry my belongings, and allowed me to pass through first. I blinked at the large room we were now in. It was so much nicer than the cold halls and rooms back inside wherever we had just come out of, and my eyes widened when I saw that we were in a library.
Harry didn't pause, obviously not perturbed by this fact, but I was hesitant as I looked around, glancing back at the door once to see that it read 'Staff Only'.
"Hurry up," Harry called back to me, sounding distant and cold again. I sighed before picking up the pace, reaching him as he opened the next door to the outside world for me. The sky was darkening, no longer the blue that it must have been earlier, but instead a pretty lavender color with streaks of gold and pink along the horizon.
Harry didn't give me the chance to admire the view as he walked rather quickly around the side of the library building towards the parking lot. I struggled to keep up, but he didn't slow as we walked through the cars until I saw a very familiar Range Rover parked near the very back, where there were only two other vehicles.
I instantly recognized the people all sat in the open trunk of the car beside Harry's and I smiled at the boys, feeling almost relieved that we were all back together, save for Elijah and Finn, who I still had yet to ask about but decided that this wasn't the time, but that relief flooded away when they didn't reciprocate, instead keeping stony expressions as we approached.
Harry set down my bag and the bouquet beside where Louis sat before abruptly reaching for me. I let out a huff of indignation as he all but threw me into Louis' body. I stumbled, nearly falling down onto his lap before I straightened myself up. "What was that for?" I grumbled, staring at Harry in confusion.
"Take care of her," Harry ignored my question, looking around at the boys, "all of you."
"Wait--what?" My eyes widened as Harry began to walk away from me, moving towards his car, but I grabbed onto his wrist as it swung back and he froze, obviously not prepared for me to try and halt him. "What are you talking about take care of me? Harry, what the hell is going on?"
Zayn stood up from where he had been sitting beside Louis then, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "You didn't tell her?" he asked, looking thoroughly shocked.
"Tell me what?"
"What the fuck am I supposed to say?" Harry retaliated, his voice flooded with anger as he glared at his second.
"I don't know," Zayn replied, "but you don't just leave. How would you feel if she just abruptly walked out of your life? I know that you're pissed, but you need to push back those feelings and fucking tell her."
"W-walked out of my life?" My eyes were wide with horror, my heart racing quickly in my chest as everyone's gazes flitted to me then, finally acknowledging me, but I only had eyes for Harry who had a blank expression on his face. "What do you mean? What do you have to tell me?"
Harry ran a hand over his face, looking thoroughly frustrated. "The organization that busted my ass out of jail and saved your life have access to information that could help me get Gemma back." Harry's words were clipped. He obviously didn't want to be having this conversation. I felt stupid all of a sudden, because I had almost completely forgot about Gemma or even Sykes.
"That's--that's good, right?" I murmured, not understanding why everyone looked so on edge.
Harry sighed. "Sykes fled the country," he went on, eliciting a small gasp from me. "He's in America and the only way that I can get Gemma back is if I agreed to sign up for this organization and join them. They're hunting him as well, and they could use all of the men they can get."
"S-so," I whispered, stepping forward. I knew what Harry was getting at. I knew it now. I just wouldn't believe it. "I'll come with you."
"That's not an option."
I felt like, with those four little words, Harry had just crumbled my entire universe. Realization came crashing down on me like a bucket full of icy water and I felt myself stumble backwards as if he had just pushed me, when in reality, his words were just too much for me to handle. I had been through so much, been so strong for so long, but in the end, it was all because Harry was by my side.
He was what kept me going. Every time I felt like I was sinking beneath the surface, he was there to pull me back up, to hold me close and assure me that everything was going to be okay. I couldn't lose him.
"Y-you're leaving me," I whispered, my voice conveying every ounce of horror that I felt inside. Harry just stared at my face, his eyes completely black, before he nodded sharply once. I could feel the tears pool in my eyes instantly, and my hands began to tremble. This had to be some kind of sick, cruel joke. It had to be.
"Don't fucking cry," Harry spat. His anger was almost palpable. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be. Just go with the boys, they'll be watching after you from now on."
"No," I whimpered out, shaking my head. "No. No, you can't leave me."
"Stop." He looked so frustrated, fury prominent in his eyes, but somewhere deep in there was pain. He was just hiding it. But I knew Harry, better than I think he realized.
"You promised!" I went on, my voice rising as the tears spilled over my cheeks. "You promised that you wouldn't leave me y-you... we don't have anymore time..." My eyes widened as I realized what Harry had meant. "Like it's the last time... no." I was shaking my head now as I caught on. "No, no, no."
"Please stop," Harry was almost begging me now, his face guarded.
"You can't leave!" I threw myself at him, uncaring that if he didn't catch me, I would fall flat on my face, because he was Harry, and Harry alwayscaught me. Just as I'd suspected, he rushed to lift me back up, but I only let all of my body weight go, leaning heavily into him. "Y-you can't! You promised! You can't break your promise!"
"Get off of me," he growled, roughly pushing me away. I stumbled, falling back into Zayn, who easily steadied me. "I can fucking do whatever I want!" He was livid now, but I couldn't see how he could be angry with me, when I wasn't the one doing this.
"No, you can't!" I screamed back at him, tears rushing down my face. "You can't break--"
"What if I didn't care?" His voice was just a whisper now and I cut myself off, staring at him in disbelief. "What--?"
"What if I didn't care?" he repeated angrily, glaring at me. "What if I just didn't fucking care about you, Alice? Then can I break my damn promise?"
"Y-you do care," I whispered shakily. I wouldn't let him mess with my head about this. "You do care because if you didn't, you would have let me die when I got shot. You would have left and been off living your life, and that's only one time that you've saved me, Harry. Don't try and--"
"Oh no, baby." A twisted, horrible smirk was on Harry's face as he grabbed my wrist, pulling me against his body harshly, his fingers curling around my chin and directing my face up to look up at him. "I never said that I didn't care then. But things have changed..."
I ripped away from him, his touch almost burning me after he spoke.
"You can't just stand there and tell me that you don't care!" I cried at him. I wanted to be strong and yell and seem confident, as if I knew what I was doing, but really I was just breaking, ripping apart at the seams. I wanted to hold it together, to be as cocky and smart about this as Harry was, but I couldn't be. I wasn't strong enough for that.
"And why not?"
I blinked at him sadly, my voice lowering. "Because you... you promised forever."
Harry shook his head, chuckling darkly as he met my gaze again. "Do you not remember," he spoke slowly, "that I don't ever keep my promises, especially when it comes to you?"
My entire body froze. We had discussed this before. It felt like a lifetime ago that I was telling Harry that his promises meant nothing to me. He couldn't be using that against me now--he couldn't be.
"You don't mean that," I whispered, unwilling to let go.
Harry gritted his teeth in frustration, his eyes darting left and right as if he were watching for something before he stepped towards me, towering over my body. "I don't want you," he spat. "I don't fucking want you anymore. I'm sick of trying to keep you alive and trying to fucking fix something that's not even worth saving anymore. Just stop."
"But you're lying, Harry!" My tone was on the verge of pleading. I couldn't understand why he was so blatantly trying to feed me lies. I knew the truth. "If you didn't want me then you wouldn't have kept trying in there." I gestured towards the library, which I knew I wouldn't be coming back to anytime soon. "As soon as I stopped reacting, you would have stopped too! You wouldn't have... you wouldn't have asked me to make love to you like it was the last damn time!"
I didn't care that all of the boys were sitting there listening. None of them spoke. Louis didn't make a single sexual comment. It was eerily silent as Harry stared down at me, and I stared right back. I could tell just by the look in his eyes that he knew that I wasn't about to give up. I was fighting.
"Forgive me." The words were barely a whisper, but I caught them. I was about to ask him what he was talking about now and what possible hidden meanings there were in those words, but I didn't get the chance to as I felt the sharp pain in my cheek before I was stumbling backwards, landing roughly on the asphalt.
I didn't move. I couldn't. I just stared at the ground, fresh tears spilling over my hot cheeks as I realized that Harry had just backhanded me. There was no crucial, pressing matter that justified it. There was nothing but the fact that Harry had actually, willingly hit me.
I saw him crouch down in front of me and I turned my head away. I couldn't look at him. But it was obvious that he didn't like this as he grabbed a hold of my legs, his eyes glancing up every few seconds as he shifted me to the right some. I didn't understand what he was doing, but I didn't ask.
Slowly, cautiously, he moved up my body, supporting his weight with his hands as he rested his forehead against the side of my still turned head. I didn't push him away. I didn't acknowledge him. I didn't stop my tears. I just laid there, staring ahead with the most broken feeling in my chest.
Softly, Harry's lips brushed over my reddened cheek, and I flinched away, my hands flying up to guard myself from him. I didn't understand why none of the boys were stepping in to help. I didn't understand what was going on. Nothing made sense.
Harry sighed, stilling for a moment, before slowly removing himself from the floor and standing. I still didn't move.
"Take care of her," Harry mumbled to the boys.
I didn't look up as he passed me, but I could feel my heart begin to completely split in half as the sound of the Range Rover's engine igniting prickled in my ears. He backed out of the spot, the dark car beside his following suit, though I hadn't been aware that anyone else was even here, and then just like that: he was gone.
Nobody said a word as I curled up into a ball on the cool asphalt and continued to cry. And I didn't stop crying, not even when somebody sat down behind me and pulled me back into their embrace. I recognized the person as Louis, and I clung onto him, my sobs shaking the both of us as I completely broke down in his arms.
I had lost him. I had lost Harry.
He was going away, into a whole other country, to find his sister, and I wasn't going with him. He didn't want me. He didn't care anymore. He was had hit me. It was done.
It felt like an entire lifetime had passed before Louis was pulling me up, immediately lifting me into his arms. I almost felt bad for being a dead weight in his hold, but he didn't struggle or complain as he walked around the side of the car and Zayn pulled open the back door, allowing him to situate me inside.
"It's okay," he whispered gently as he buckled me in before meeting my gaze and slipping something into my hands. "Read this. Now." He wasn't being harsh, but he was dead serious. I didn't feel like reading anything, especially if it was from Harry, but I nodded nonetheless. I didn't have it in me to argue.
He watched me intently as I shakily pulled the small card out of the envelope. It was too tiny to contain much, but the words seemed to be all that I needed.
Alice, my love,
I did what I had to do.
Never lose hope.
-H
I stared at Harry's familiar scrawl for a long time before Louis finally spoke. "He did all of this to protect you," he murmured. "I know it doesn't make much sense, but every time you refused to let him go, he had to find a new way to get you to back down... he was protecting you."
I looked up at Louis, seeing the sadness deep in his blue eyes. "Protecting me from what?"
Half a smile sat on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, squinting at me. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there are quite a few people who want you dead."
"I noticed."
Louis sighed, glancing down at the note in my hands. I had almost forgotten that not only had I lost Harry, but the boys all had to. "I'm sorry," I whispered, and Louis met my gaze, giving a half-hearted shrug. "We'll make it through this," he sighed. "Now... how do you feel about living with me?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Well, it's the safest option," he admitted. "And I could use the company."
I just nodded before looking away. So much was changing in too short of a time frame. Harry was leaving, and now I was moving in with Louis of all people. Louis sighed before shutting the door. It took him a few minutes to finally get in the car, accompanied by the rest of the boys.
I was calming down now, looking past the fact that Harry had been downright cruel to me, and trying to read between the lines. Yes, he had said some harsh things, did something deemed unforgivable in my book, but what about the little actions in between? He was constantly on edge, asking me to not make it harder than it already had to be, barely whispering "forgive me" before the back of his hand had struck against my cheek.
I didn't want to believe that there was yet another threat on the horizon, another one that, as Louis claimed, Harry was protecting me from, but what other option did I have? I still couldn't make sense of why Harry couldn't have just explained what was happening instead of pushing me away and breaking every ounce of trust and hope I had in him.
And then it hit me.
That other car. The car that I thought was empty. It had followed Harry out of the parking lot. It wasn't any coincidence. They didn't just randomly choose that time to leave. They were the organization Harry had talked about.
They were watching him.
I felt pain grip me briefly, because all I could imagine now was Harry begging me to stop fighting the inevitable. He wanted me to stop going against him, because the more I did that, the harder he had to try to push me away, because that was the act he had to put up for a reason still unknown to me. It was all sort of making sense now, in a twisted, weird way, and suddenly I felt my broken heart beginning to warm, but only a touch.
He really was protecting me. He was leaving because if he didn't, something would have happened to me, though I wasn't sure what. He had committed yet another selfless act, just one more addition to the list of never-ending things that Harry Styles had done for me.
Nobody spoke as we drove away from the library, and though my thoughts were a chaotic flurry of things that I still needed to figure out, I found myself hating the silence.
"Louis?"
He turned his head to the side for a moment in acknowledgment. "Yes?"
I hesitated, thinking over how to phrase my question. "Do you think we'll ever... you know, see him again?"
I heard everyone in the car sigh before Zayn was the one to turn and look back at me, a sad smile on his lips. "I'm not so sure about that," he admitted quietly. For some reason that didn't upset me though, and I found myself smiling slightly and shaking my head.
"What?" Zayn raised an eyebrow, clearly confused by my actions.
I met his gaze. "You're wrong."
This seemed to thoroughly surprise him, and I felt everyone's eyes glued on me, even Louis' through the mirror. Zayn seemed to be a bit amused though. "Care to elaborate?"
I sighed, turning to look out the window at the passing cars, the small city of Bradford that had been home to so many horrible memories, yet so many good ones too. It was a place that I hated and I loved at the same time. Hated, because it was the place where I had been forced to give up everything I loved because this world was just that cruel, and loved, because it was the place that I had somehow managed to find someone who understood my meaning of love, who had put me before himself, just as he had once promised he would do.
I didn't look at Zayn as I spoke, but I didn't have to to know that he was smiling at me as soon as the words had passed my lips, and for some reason, I was almost smiling too.
"Harry always comes back to me. Always."