When we get back to the bus, I place Brax on the floor and he immediately runs around and picks up a towel to play with.
"He's so cute I'm gonna explode.", i say and the other agree with me.
"Nov, I know it might be too soon but Awsten just got home and wants to know if he can meet the dog?", Otto asks looking at his phone.
"Yeah, he can. I don't hate him or anything he doesn't need to ask permission to be around me."
Jack, Alex, Rian, and Zach give me a weird look.
Otto smiles at me and sends him a text back.
A couple minutes he knocks on the door.
"Come in.", i say and the door opens, revealing the boy I'm still madly in love with.
He also happens to be the boy who is no longer mine.
It was good while it lasted.
"Awe!", he says getting down on his knees to play with Brax.
"He doesn't know his name or anything yet.", I speak up.
"When they showed me the puppies I knew you would pick him.", he smiles.
I feel a ping of sadness shoot through my stomach.
I fucking miss him.
The three stay for another hour to play with the puppy. Awsten doesn't say a single word to me.
"We have to get going, Freddy wants to go over schedules.", Geoff says, the other two grabbing their stuff.
"Thank y'all for today. It really meant a lot to me and I won't forget this.", I hug Geoff and Otto.
When I reach Awsten I pause.
Before I can think of what to, he kisses my cheek and they leave.
"What the fuck did that mean?", i ask no one in particular.
"You got me. But if I were you, I'd go for the puppy guy. Seems less dramatic.", Jack says.
"But I love Awsten."
Alex sighs.
"The only advice I can give you is, if you really want to fix this you need to talk to him. If not, you need to get over him.", Alex says.
I nod, knowing that either way it won't be easy.
"I'm so over all of this. I just want everything to be over.", I sigh.
Jack gives me a look and I immediately correct myself,"Not like that."
Then my phone goes off.
From: unknown number
hey, it's Jason from earlier:)
To: jason🐶
hey-o:)
from jason🐶
it was really nice meeting you and your friends, they seem to care about you a lot.
to: jason🐶
awe it was nice meeting you too! & i hope they do
from: jason🐶
this is probably really straight forward but are you dating anyone?
to: jason🐶
single as of like yesterday haha
wbu?
from: jason🐶
oh shit i'm sorry. i wasn't trying to be disrespectful or anything:/
I've been single for about 3 months.
to: jason🐶
nono you're fine!! you didn't know:) & damn
from: jason🐶
:)
listen I have to go back to work but when I get off can I call you?
to: jason🐶
yup:)
"Who was that?", Alex asks.
"Jason."
"You didn't smile once while texting him. Don't feel pressured to move on.", he says.
I nod, "Thanks. You always know what to say."
He gives me a smile and pushes me towards the door.
I raise my eyebrow at him.
"Go talk to him."
I roll my eyes but leave the bus and knock on theirs.
"Who is it?", geoff asks.
"Santa."
He opens the door and I walk in.
"What's up?", Otto asks.
"Where's Awsten?"
"Bunk.", Otto smiles at me and I walk to his bunk.
He's laying down, on his phone, with earbuds in.
I touch his shoulder and he looks at me.
"Hey.", he smiles.
"Hi. Can we talk?"
He nods and moves over so I can sit next to him.
I miss his bunk.
And the way it always smells like mint.
Just thinking about it makes tears form.
"Are you okay?", he notices them.
As soon as I look at him they go rolling down my face.
This is the first time he's ever seen me cry.
"God Awsten. I miss you. And I'm mad at you for just leaving me like that. But I love you. And I'm just so confused."
He looks extremely guilty.
"Can I explain myself?", he asks softly.
I nod, wiping away my tears.
"The days when I met up with Ciara leading up to thanksgiving I wasn't in a good headspace, at all. That's absolutely no excuse to hurt you. I am so sorry. I'm so mad at myself for hurting you. I was upset because I felt like I wasn't being the best boyfriend I could be, and I thought I was helping you by breaking up with you. I was so wrong. I miss you so much.", his voice cracks.
All I can do is hug him and cry into his chest.
"I love you.", I mutter.
"I love you too."
"I know there are some things we're going to need to talk about and figure it out but I would really love to try this again. I will always pick you over everybody, and I swear I will never do anything to hurt you like that again.", he says, kissing my forehead.
I nod into his chest, "I would like that.", I pull away from him and say, "The buses are leaving soon. I have to get back."
He pulls me back down, "Please stay."
I was hoping he'd say that.
I lay down next to him and he wraps his arms around me.
Pulling out my phone, I call Alex.
"Hey bighead.", he answers.
"Hi asswipe.", I laugh.
"Were you crying?", he asks growing noticeably angry.
"Yeah, me and Awsten talked it out.", i say and he calms down.
"So are you together?"
"Yeah."
"Good.", I can hear him smile through the phone, "We were routing for it. But don't think, mr knight, that we won't have a little talk."
"Yes sir.", Awsten says, causing me to laugh.
"I'm gonna stay over here, but I'll meet up with you guys when we get there, Okay?", i ask.
"Yup, have fun angel."
Character development!
"I will. I love you, butthead."
Kinda.
"I love you too.", we hang up.
The first thing I do after I hang up is delete Jason's number.
Maybe things will get better.