Friday, January 5th
Friday.
Usually, I'd jump out of my seat at the sound of that. It's finally Friday; Thank God.
But this Friday is different. This Friday is completely different because now I have a fake boyfriend that refuses to leave me alone despite my perpetual rejection. And, unless Isaac decides he wants to talk to me again, the only thing I have to look forward to tomorrow is a date with said fake boyfriend. And I'm not sure that's even something to look forward to at all.
Without wanting to spend another precious thought exhausting over the endless obstacle that was Chase, I just start to get dressed for school instead. I pull on several layers of different fabrics, hoping it'll all be enough to keep me warm during the winter month.
Winters in Arizona aren't usually too bad, but this year it's been colder than usual, so I really need to prepare well for the cold. Especially when it's so easy to get sick in this weather. That is the last thing I want; I hate being sick.
After I finish getting dressed and running the flat iron through my hair, I grab my backpack and rush out the door, only to be met by the one and only Chase Matthews.
His hair is perfectly curled on top of his head, just like it always has been since we were young. His basketball jersey is layered over his black hoodie and he's wearing light khaki jeans that almost blend in with the color of my outside wall. And despite arriving here completely unannounced, a giant smile is plastered across his face as we make eye contact.
"What are you doing here?" My voice chokes out in a mix of shock and discomfort. How does he even know where I live?
Oh, that's right. He walks me home now. Weird.
"I'm here to take you to school. Let's go." He smiles and reaches his hand out to me without any effort to remove his grin. I guess it's not so bad that he's smiling at me, it's not like he's not nice to look at.
"Why did you have to meet me at my house, though?" I can't help but ask as I reluctantly place my hand in his.
"Well, once I realized you walk to school alone, I figured it would be safer for you to walk with someone by your side." He gently pulls me closer to him as we start to walk, my body moving awkwardly alongside him like it's unnatural for us to be this close. "Plus I wanted to see you."
"That's illegal."
He chuckles at what I'm assuming he thinks is a joke. "Okay, I wanted to be seen with you."
When I shoot him a look similar to the way I look at my Anatomy quizzes, he tries to elaborate.
"It's about time we start getting the word out that you and I are a thing."
"It's literally been three days."
"The sooner the better, right?"
"No." If I could avoid people knowing about our "relationship" forever, I would take that chance in a heartbeat.
"Okay, well then how about we tell people we're together, or you kiss me," he says next, making my body squirm as I realize he knows exactly how to get to me now.
"You know, suddenly I change my mind."
"I figured you would."
We finish the walk to school within the next few minutes and he walks me to my locker just like he did a couple times this week. Only this time, the biggest difference is the way our fingers are interlocked. And it's been kind of nice holding his hand, in all honesty. The last time I held hands with someone was during Freshman year, so this is a pretty positive sign of growth. I'm not saying I like holding Chase's hand, but it's better than nothing.
"Who's she?" I suddenly hear a girl's voice ask from the door of the English classroom. Her voice is shrill and pestered, like her entire persona is bothered by the way I'm touching Chase Matthews. She and her friend give me death stares from across the way.
"Are they dating?" I hear another girl ask from the opposite end of the hallway.
"She looks like a-" I block the rest of that sentence out, knowing I'm not going to like the next word I hear. Instead, I shake Chase's hand out of mine and start to open my locker with him leaning against the locker next to mine.
"So you're really popular, huh?" I ask with a tone so hollow I almost forget what I sound like.
"Oh, don't worry about them," Chase says, moving my hair out of my face and behind my ear.
"Don't touch me," I glare at him, "I'll bite you."
"I'd like that."
"I take it back."
"Aw!" he teases next to me. "You got me all excited over nothing!"
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"You know what."
"God, you're so difficult. If I knew I was gonna get such an uptight partner, I never would've joined the game," Chase complains as if I'm the one who can't let this whole flirting thing go.
"I'm difficult?"
"Yes!"
"You're the one who won't listen to a word I say!"
"You never let me do anything!" he whines, "You won't even kiss me! A stupid kiss! You're so boring!"
I stare up at him with what I can only describe as disgust. Chase Matthews is putting me down? For setting boundaries and expecting him to do the bare minimum by respecting those boundaries?
I am not going to stand for this.
I grab onto the collar of his hoodie with a familiar hostility and aggressively pull him down to my level. If he wants a kiss so bad, I'll show him a kiss.
I give him absolutely zero time to process what's happening as I smash my lips against his, pushing his body into the locker with a loud, obnoxious thud. His hands hover in the air as I press my face into his, refusing to give in to the kiss. After all that talk, and he's not even trying to kiss me back. Who's boring now, Matthews?
After I'm sure I've proven my point, I loosen my grip on his jacket and rip my face away from his. I only allow myself to glance at his reaction for a second, recognizing a mix of confusion and shock when I push him away. The whispers around us start to grow louder and louder, and suddenly they start to sound a lot less like whispers and a lot more like sheer judgment.
Damn it. This is why I didn't want to join this stupid game! Now I look like one of those weirdos that always feel the need to make out with their partners in the middle of the hallway.
I slam my locker shut after grabbing a few more things and I turn away without daring to look back at Chase. On my way to English, I try my best to ignore the regret bubbling in my stomach. Of course I regret kissing Chase, that wasn't even close to being on the list of things I want to do to him. But I needed to. To prove to him that I'm not just some pushover he can mess around with all day and never see the consequences.
I needed to show him that I am not going to back down to him.
"So you're on kissing terms now then?" Isaac's voice suddenly croaks from beside me as I settle into my seat. My head snaps to meet eyes with him, shocked to be hearing his voice after being hit with the silent treatment for the entirety of the day before.
"We're on speaking terms now?" I ask back, only teasing him since I thought he'd be willing to play along.
He's not.
"You didn't answer my question."
My eyebrows fall into a frown, struggling to understand why he's acting so out of character. He never gets this upset with me. I try to read him some more, scanning his hostile posture and his arms crossed angrily at his chest.
"You're seriously upset over this?"
"You keep trying to convince me your relationship isn't real, yet I keep finding you doing something that proves the exact opposite. Are you ever going to stop lying to me?"
"Isaac, I'm not-"
"Don't give me that shit, Michelle."
He is seriously insane right now. What crawled up his ass this morning that made him decide he wanted to hate me? And what's so wrong with me kissing a guy who's supposed to be my boyfriend? That's it. I was going to apologize. But now I realize I have no reason to.
I already proved to Chase that I'm not planning on backing down to him. I have no problem doing the same to Isaac.
"You're the one who said it was normal for people to kiss so early in their relationship," I remind him, crossing my arms as well."You're the one who's been telling me for years to go out and have fun. Well, guess what, Isaac? This is me having fun. This is me living my life and taking a stand and letting go for once. So if you want to shut me down and make me feel like shit for finally letting go, then please, be my guest. But I am not going to apologize for the decisions I make."
By now, the rest of the class had found their seats, and a few eyes were resting on me. But I don't care. I refuse to be pushed around by any man, even Isaac. If he wants to treat me like that for finally standing up for myself, then he can have a taste of it too. I simply do not care anymore.
///
As I expected, Isaac didn't say another word to me for the remainder of class. He also ignored me in the hallway, at lunch, and five minutes ago when I made eye contact with him and he just walked away from me. But I couldn't be mad, I was doing the exact same thing to Chase.
I know I was standing up for myself with the whole kiss, and I don't have any remorse for what I did. The only issue now is the fact that the stupid kiss made things so awkward between us. Or maybe it was just awkward for me and that's why I want to avoid him so badly.
"Hey!" I suddenly hear a voice call out from behind me. I turn around to face the unfamiliar girl, surrounded by three others. Each of them are wearing a childish, conniving glare as I make eye contact with them.
"Yes?" I respond, the confusion clear and strong in my voice as I rack my brain to find any memory of them. They look like Freshmen at best; there is no way I've ever seen these girls before.
"Is it true that you're dating Chase Matthews?" one of them asks. Her hair is dark and pulled back in two dutch braids. Her arms are crossed as she stands at least four inches shorter than me. Is this supposed to be intimidating?
I want to tell her no, I'm not dating Chase. I'm not dating him really, we're just in this secret fake relationship to win a prize that I still have zero knowledge about. I want to tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
But this attitude of hers—this big-girl tone she's trying to cop with me, a senior, who has done nothing wrong to her personally—that makes me want to say, "Yes."
"Oh my God! Why you?"
I roll my eyes at her with a smirk, knowing she is now resting comfortably in her place that I didn't even hesitate to put her in.
And then I let my pride get the best of me.
I should've just left it there. She and her friends were all sulking in misery at the sound of my news, and I had successfully stood up for myself for the third time today. I should have been satisfied.
But as I walk over to Chase and squeeze his arm right in front of those girls, I can't help myself.
"Kiss my cheek," I order.
What am I even doing? This is so childish. I've already proven my point.
"What? Why do you want me to-"
"Just do it," I demand through my teeth again, refusing to make eye contact with him.
He shrugs after one moment more and rests his hand on my cheek, placing a gentle, reluctant kiss on the other. Right in front of those brats.
I hear their whines and sighs behind me and suddenly I'm happy with my decision. Serves them right for being little assholes.
"Okay, get off me," I say, shrugging him off as soon as those girls turn the other way. He chuckles as he takes my hand and we start walking to my house, the awkward energy I was feeling now dissipating instantly.