“That boy came to the house because of you, didn’t he?” Annie asked
While she waited, studying Jess with a grim expression, Jess desperately tried to think of what she should do. She considered lying to Annie, but from the look in Annie’s hazel eyes, she knew it wouldn’t work. Annie already knew the truth.
“Yes, ma’am,” Jess said quietly, hanging her head.
“Did you ask him to come here?” she demanded.
“No, I didn’t!” Jess said earnestly. Annie’s shoulders relaxed and her face softened slightly.
“I didn’t think you would,” she said, but then she became serious again. “I’m assuming you met him at school. I understand why you didn’t bring him up, with the way your uncle is.”
Jess stared at her. She hadn’t guessed everything. Should she tell her the truth? Maybe she’d understand.
“He would never approve of your friendship with that boy,” Annie continued. “And I think he’d be right.”
Jess felt her heart clench. What was she saying? She didn’t think Jess should have a poor boy as a friend either? Seeing the expression on her face, Annie sighed deeply and then slowly reached both hands across the table. Realizing she wanted to hold hands, Jess placed them in hers.
“Jess, I know you’re a good girl,” she started solemnly. “But I want you to listen to me because this is very important.” Jess felt a cold fear spread through her body. Annie had never spoken to her in such a serious tone before. “You must never spend time alone with that boy. It’s too dangerous.”
“Marty would never hurt me!” Jess cried out, pulling her hands out of Annie’s.
“He may not intend to hurt you, but if you spend time alone with him, especially now that you’re getting older, something might happen.”
“I – don’t know what you mean.” Annie immediately looked embarrassed.
“Jess, when boys and girls are alone together,” she started more quietly, looking uncomfortable. “That’s when girls get – in the family way.”
“But - I thought only married ladies can have babies,” Jess said faintly.
“Any girl who is old enough can have a baby, and you’re old enough,” she replied, looking at her meaningfully.
“How? How does it happen?” Jess asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. Was it possible she’d already done whatever it was with Marty?
Annie leaned back in her chair with another sigh. “I never thought we’d be having this conversation, at least not until the night before you got married.” She gazed at Jess, while she chewed on her lip. “You’re too young to know the details,” she said finally, her face turning red. “But – you have to be close to the other person – with your clothes off.” Jess was horrified.
“That would never happen!”
“It can happen, and it does!” Annie insisted angrily, slapping the table with her hand. “I know girls it happened to! Good girls who you think would never do something like that!”
Could it be true, Jess wondered. That girls like her would do that with a boy?
“Jess, if it happened to you, your life would be ruined,” Annie said more gently, and Jess felt the tears come. “Can you imagine the scandal it would cause? The whole county, maybe the whole state, would be talking about you! The family name would be dragged through the mud – and the company could be affected too. What if other companies refused to do business with Blackwell Iron and Mining because they thought the family had loose morals?”
“But we’re just friends,” Jess said, wiping tears from her face.
“I know you would never do it intentionally, pumpkin,” Annie said sadly. “It’s never something someone plans, but I can tell you already care a lot about him. You’re growing up and soon those feelings will get stronger – to the point where you forget about everything but being with him. All it takes is one momentary mistake for your life and this family’s name to be destroyed. I’m sorry but you can’t be alone with him ever again. It’s just too dangerous.”
Jess covered her face with her hands, unable to stop crying as she realized there was no way she could argue with Annie. She was right, and now Jess was going to have to give up seeing Marty forever. She’d lost him. Annie stood, going over to Jess and pulled her up into a hug.
“You understand why, don’t you, Jess? I’m just trying to protect you,” she said, gently rubbing Jess’s back, and Jess nodded against her.
“When you see him at school, I want you tell him he’s not to try to see you alone again,” she said more firmly. “And I want you to promise me you won’t allow it either.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she managed to choke out as she pulled away, wiping her face. All she wanted to do now was to get to her room so she could be alone with her grief.
“Why don’t you go wash your face and have a rest in your room?” Annie said, helping wipe Jess’s face. “If you’re hungry later, let me know and I’ll fix you a plate. Doug is with his friends so it’s just us tonight.”
“Okay,” Jess mumbled, and Annie let go of her.
As soon as she was in her room, she sprawled across her bed and began crying again, her heart breaking for both her and Marty. When she woke up, her eyes were sticky as she blinked at the sunshine pouring in her window. She laid there for a long while, the heavy grief pressing on her.
She dreaded telling Marty she wasn’t going to be able to see him again. When she tried to think of what to say, she decided she wouldn’t tell him to stop coming to the cabin. He needed that refuge from his father and she wouldn’t take that away from him. But that meant she could never go in the woods again.
Remembering how difficult it was the first time she tried to convince him, she knew he wouldn’t take it any better this time. She was almost certain he would try to convince her to change her mind. Would she be strong enough to resist him? Maybe she should wait until Monday when they were at school. She could sneak away at lunch time like she did before and talk to him in private. She heard a quiet knock on her door before it opened, revealing Annie.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she said as she approached the bed, looking at Jess with concern.
“I just woke up,” Jess lied.
“You missed dinner. I came to check on you but you’d fallen asleep,” she said, smoothing Jess’s hair.
“I was tired.”
“Well, I don’t want you to miss breakfast. Why don’t you come down and eat.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jess said, pulling off her covers to get dressed even though she wasn’t hungry.
While she sat the table waiting for Annie to bring her plate, she looked at the woods beyond the garage. Marty would be there soon, or maybe he was there already, waiting for her.
“Are you going out today as usual?” Annie asked, setting the plate in front of her.
“No ma’am,” she said, putting her napkin in her lap with her head down so Annie couldn’t see her face. “I thought I’d stay inside and read.”
“I don’t want you staying inside all day,” Annie said, walking back to the stove. “You need fresh air too.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jess said, slumping in her chair.
She ate as much food as she could, but mostly she cut her fried eggs in pieces and moved them around the plate. When she’d finished, she went up to her room and laid on her bed with a book. She tried to read, but her thoughts drifted to Marty who must surely be at the cabin by now. He wouldn’t dare come to the house again. She was certain of it. But he’d probably wait all day for her.
Then she started thinking about seeing him at school the next day. She hoped she’d be able to see him alone, but when she did, he was going to be devastated. Maybe he’d get so upset, someone would notice them. Word could get back to Doug, and then he might tell his dad. As hard as it would be to say good bye at the cabin, maybe that would be best.
Setting aside her book, she decided she’d do it now and get it over with. She walked slowly down the stairs, dreading how much she was going to hurt him. He was going to be in as much pain as she was.
Annie wasn’t in the kitchen, but the basket was on the counter, ready for her. She stood next to it, debating. She definitely wasn’t planning on being with Marty long enough to eat, but if she didn’t take the basket, Annie might think it was odd.
Taking the basket, she left out the back door. The last thing she needed was for Annie to figure out Marty’s secret. She would be certain to forbid him from using the cabin. When she entered the clearing, her heart sank seeing the front door wide open. She crossed the clearing, knowing it was only moments before she’d have to tell him.
He was sitting in one of the chairs, whittling on a piece of wood, but he lifted his head when he noticed her.
“Hi, Jess!” he said, a smile lighting up his face, and her heart ached. He was so happy to see her. How was she going to find the strength to hurt him?
“Hi, Marty.”
“Are we going swimming?” he asked, standing and closing his pen knife.
“No, I –.” He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to finish the sentence. “I didn’t bring my suit,” she said finally.
“Oh. What do you want to do?”
She knew she should say it now before any more time elapsed, but a lump had formed in her throat, making it impossible for her to speak. The silence was stretching so she shrugged her shoulders. He considered her with his brow furrowed, and she walked past him, going to the kitchen sink, partly to get a drink of water so she could talk, but partly so she wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Hey, I know what we could do,” he said, following behind her, and she began to pump the handle of the pump. “We could fish. We haven’t done that since last year. Want to?”
She took a long drink and then straightened, wiping her mouth and making a decision. She’d give him this one last day with her. They’d do something he loved and when it was time for her to go home, she’d tell him.
“Okay,” she said, turning towards him and smiling broadly.
“Swell! Grab me the bucket and I’ll get the worms.”
Soon they were on their way to the pond, him with the fishing pole and bucket, and her carrying a blanket, her basket and his paper sack. While she walked behind him, she watched his back, tall and straight, his shoulders relaxed as he strode ahead of her, but it hurt too much and she had to look away. She was going to miss him and miss their time together, so much.
Since it was the last day she’d go to the pond, she tried to take it all in, the sound the trees made as they moved from the breeze, the birds chirping, the pools of light scattered across the forest floor. When they stepped out on the path, it was particularly beautiful, undulating like a green sea and sprinkled with wild flowers.
Reaching the pond, Marty set the bucket down so he could search for a worm and Jess took their things under the willow tree, then went to the log and sat. After he cast out the line, he sat beside her and stretched his legs out. To avoid looking at him, she watched the red bobber floating over the rippling water, and thought about how much better he was doing since she’d first met him. He had a job now and if he was spending less time with her, he’d be able to work even more hours and make more money so he could take care of himself. He was doing well in school, and Mr. Dwyer wouldn’t let him fail his classes. He’d miss her just like she was going to miss him, but he’d be okay without her.
Over the next hour, Marty caught two fish, both too small for eating and he let them go. After he watched the second one swim away, he turned to her.
“You hungry?”
“I guess so,” Jess said with a sigh, and stood. She wasn’t any hungrier now than when she’d had breakfast.
He spread out the blanket under the tree and they got settled on it. Opening the basket, she pulled out a thick roast beef sandwich and held it out to him. He took it and then offered one of his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to her. After slowly unwrapping it, she looked at it. When would she get to have peanut butter and jelly again?
“Jess, is something wrong?”
He was studying her with a worried look and she knew the time had come. Now that he’d brought it up, she should just get it over with. Having made the decision, she could feel the tears coming, and she struggled to keep them at bay.
“What’s going on?” he asked more loudly. “Did something happen?”
“Annie figured out you came to the house to see me,” she said quietly, wiping her eyes.
“What?” Marty said with alarm.
“She didn’t figure out everything,” Jess added quickly. “She thinks it was the first time you did it. She thinks we met at school.”
“Then why are you so upset?” he asked warily.
“She said I can’t see you anymore. I can’t be alone with you.” His eyes narrowed.
“Let me guess,” he muttered bitterly. “It’s because of who I am.” Jess slumped, wiping the tears that were coming more quickly.
“Sort of.”
“And you agreed with her.”
“Yes,” she whispered, and he jumped up.
“Why did you do that?” he shouted. “Is that what you think of me too?”
“No!” she cried, standing to face him. “You know I don’t care about that!”
“Then why would you agree?” he demanded. She knew she should tell him the truth, that Annie was worried she’d have a baby, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“She had other reasons, and – I think she’s right.” He looked at her like she’d just betrayed him, and she didn’t blame him. “I’m sorry, Marty.”
He shook his head with disbelief, and then stalked away, hitting the willow branches with his arm to get them out of the way. She picked up her basket, still wiping away tears. When she walked out from under the tree, he was standing at the water’s edge with his back to her. She wanted to go and comfort him, but she knew she couldn’t. She should leave now while he wasn’t watching. It was better that way. She turned, heading for the path.
The tears were coming so fast she was finding it difficult to see, but she kept putting one foot in front of the other. Then she heard a sound that made her stop. Turning around, she wiped her eyes. Marty was still standing by the water but his head was down and his shoulders were hunched while wrenching sobs shook his body. Seeing him cry for the first time, her resolve crumbled. She couldn’t leave him like this, broken and sobbing. She dropped the basket and ran to him.
Reaching him, she placed her hand on his back and he turned. When he faced her, his eyes were filled with tears, his face full of anguish, and she suddenly saw the little boy who’d lost his mother. With her heart breaking even more, she reached out, putting her arms around him and he buried his face in her shoulder.
“Don’t leave me, Jess. Don’t leave me,” he sobbed while he clung to her, and in that moment, she knew it was impossible. She couldn’t bear to hurt him this badly, not when he’d already experienced so much pain in his life.
“I won’t leave you, Marty,” she said, and he hugged her tighter.
She rubbed his back to soothe him, feeling his soft t-shirt under her hand, and he relaxed against her, but she still felt terrible. She’d made a promise to Annie and now she was going back on her word. She’d already lied so many times, but this one seemed worse since Annie understood much more of what was going on.
Annie was right about how dangerous it could be for her if she wasn’t careful around Marty. If anything happened between them, Annie would know she’d betrayed her trust, but she’d also hurt Doug and Marty. Doug was set to inherit the mining business and she didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize that for him. And she had no doubt that her uncle would be vindictive enough to make Marty pay for ruining their family name.
She sighed deeply as she realized that no matter what decision she made, she was hurting people she cared about. The only thing she could do was hope she and Marty didn’t get caught and make sure nothing happened.
“I can’t almost lose you again,” Marty said into her shoulder. “This is too hard.”
“We just have to be more careful than ever from now on, Marty.”
“Yeah,” he said, letting go of her. “Do you want to eat, or go back to the cabin?” he asked taking her hand.
“We might as well eat,” she said, gently pulling her hand out of his. “I dropped the basket on the path. I better go get it.”
“Oh, okay.”
When she joined him under the tree, she made sure she was sitting a little further from him, but luckily he didn’t seem to notice.
****
Poor Jess can never catch a break, but at least she and Marty are still together. Were you surprised at the conversation she had with Annie? I know a lot of you were hoping she could confide in Annie, and that Annie would be an ally, but what happened here was the reality girls faced at that time.
Some of you may be young enough that it’s hard to believe that Jess would have no idea what’s involved in making a baby at the age of 14, or that Annie would be reluctant to tell her. There was no such thing as sex education, or birth control pills, and an unwed teen pregnancy was a scandal of unprecedented proportions. The only way to protect girls was to make sure they had no opportunity to get in trouble.
What do you think this means for Marty and Jess’s future? As their feelings grow stronger, will Jess be able to keep them from getting too close? I can’t wait to hear what you think about all of it!
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, I hope you’d consider voting for it. I really do appreciate each and every one, as well as all your wonderful comments. The video is Heartaches By the Number by Guy Mitchell.
This chapter is dedicated to @amberkbryant. While you’re waiting for my next chapter, please check out her story, Unseen. It’s a poignantly beautiful paranormal YA romance that has recently become a featured story on Wattpad. I know you’ll love it! You won’t go wrong looking through my reading lists as well.