"No... you're so much more than that."
He waited, gauging my reaction to his words, but I couldn't formulate even the proper expression. I just stared blankly at him as if I had totally spaced off into another universe.
"Say something please," he begged quietly.
"I'm not really sorry what to say," I admitted, a nervous laugh escaping my lips. I had never experienced this before. Seth had never spoken a word to me with such intensity, unless he was drunk but those were never particularly passionate or happy moments. But Harry's words held such an immense depth to them. I couldn't really process something quite as deep like he did.
He opened his mouth to speak but was abruptly cut off as Niall appeared behind him. "Oi, Harry--oh. Am I interrupting something?"
Harry said yes at the same time that I replied no. Niall suppressed a smirk. "Well, Haz, we kind of need you in there. Shit's gettin' serious."
Harry let out a breath and nodded. "I'll be there in a second."
Niall hummed his acknowledgement. "It's nice to see you again, Alice. You look... very fashionable for one in the afternoon."
I looked down and blushed at my pink silk pajamas that consisted of small shorts of the material and a somewhat lacy matching tank top. My cheeks turned a mellow shade of pink.
"Don't worry 'bout it love," Niall chuckled. "Harry here likes to walk around in his--"
"Go away, Niall," Harry groaned, obviously not pleased with his friend and fellow gang member. Niall grinned at Harry before mouthing a quick 'I'll tell you later' to me and hurrying back inside Zayn's flat.
As soon as he was gone Harry sighed and looked at me with half a smirk on his face. "We'll talk more about this later, alright? First we need to address what the hell happened at your place."
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked, gesturing towards the interior of the home.
Harry bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. "Yes... but you're more important."
My heart fluttered slightly at his words. He smiled, dimples slicing his cheeks, before entwining his fingers through my own and tugging me into the flat. I noticed that, unlike before, his fingers looped through mine. He didn't hold it carelessly.
I felt slightly nervous as we reached the one room in Zayn's flat that I hadn't seen yet. It was the only room, aside from his bedroom and bathroom, that had an actual door attached to it, and during my short time here before it had been closed and I hadn't bothered to ask about it.
Harry pushed it open and I frowned at the sight in front of me. The room was just big enough to hold the massive table that was an identical twin to Harry's table back home. Only four of the seats were occupied, all at the far end. The three seats at the head of the table were unoccupied, but I sensed that Harry would sit there.
I had come to the realization that Harry was not just part of the gang, but was the leader. It made sense with all the authority he had over the others. I looked down as everyone's heads turned toward us. I felt like an intruder as Harry began to pull me with him down to the three end seats.
"Wait," I whispered. He paused to look back at me. "I don't think I should be here, Harry. This-this--"
"It's fine," he promised me, a small smile on his lips before we continued our path down to the end. Harry pulled out the left seat for me to sit down and I uncomfortably sat down, my eyes trained on the glossy tabletop. He took the other seat next to me, right in the middle.
"Harry, do you really think it's smart to have Alice here?" Zayn questioned from my immediate left. I looked over at him to find his face not mean, but slightly troubled. He gave me a small smile.
"Normally, no," Harry admitted. "But these are different circumstances."
"How so?" Zayn raised an eyebrow.
"Seth came back for her," he replied. "At her flat."
"Was she hurt?" Niall piped in, his brow furrowed. It made me feel slightly less uneasy seeing the concerned light in all of their eyes. Even Liam, who I hadn't even really spoken to, seemed worried about the issue. It puzzled me, but it was also kind of nice.
"No..." he gave me a sideways glance. "But she did hit him with her car..."
"Damn, way to go!" Liam grinned, reaching over to high-five me across the table. I timidly clapped my hand against his and he laughed. I caught the rest of the boys, Harry excluded, roll their eyes. "How fast were you going? It might tell us how injured--"
"Liam," Harry snapped, cutting him off. He went silent abruptly, his eyes wide in confusion.
My hands were clamped down onto the edge of the table, my eyes squeezed shut as I attempted to control my rapid breathing and speeding heart. I couldn't get the image of Seth's body hurtling through the air and landing on his car. I could imagine the horrible sound his body would make as it fell and collided with the asphalt. Had it killed him? I didn't think so. The car wasn't moving that fast, but then again if he landed just right...
Tears began to seep out of the corner of my eyes, falling down to the tabletop. I felt someone's hands move on top of mine and pry my fingers away from the table. I was sure that they were Harry's. I had grown accustomed to his touch.
When I opened my eyes everyone was looking at me with all different expressions. Liam looked slightly ashamed, Zayn skeptical, Niall concerned, Louis troubled, and Harry angry. I knew it was directed at Liam.
"I didn't mean it that way," Liam stuttered out, attempting to make amends. Harry shot him a look. "I'm not used to... this. You know that, Haz. None of us are. There are reasons we don't--"
"Yeah, I know," Harry replied through gritted teeth. Liam fell silent.
Harry's attention returned to me and he looked at me sadly. "Don't be upset, baby." His voice was soft as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before his eyes connected with mine again. "You didn't do anything wrong."
I was about to reply when I heard a very distinguished huff from Louis. He looked irritated.
"Do you have a problem?" Harry's voice was sharp and angry as he looked at Louis. I heard Niall mutter a small 'uh oh' under his breath as the two stared one another down until Louis nodded slowly, building confidence I noticed.
"Yeah, I do," he confirmed. "I don't think what you did was right, Haz. You're tossing this poor girl around like she's a rag doll. One minute you're carelessly denying feelings for her, and the next you're worried sick over her well-being."
Everything happened far too quickly then.
Harry was suddenly standing up, his fist colliding with Louis' jaw. Louis fell out of his chair onto the floor, nearly knocking his head on the back leg of Niall's chair beside his. Harry bent down and continued to hit at him, his large hands turned into weapons.
"You fucking--" I tuned out the rest of Harry's string of profanities. I didn't want to hear it anymore.
"Not again, damn it," Zayn muttered beside me as he shook his head. I noticed that none of the others were diving in to split the two up. They weren't attempting to help Louis or calm Harry down. They just watched.
A cry escaped my lips as Louis' nose began gushing blood, but no one paid me any attention.
Memories began to gather at the forefront of my mind, times when Seth had done things similar to me, when he had beaten and abused me simply for not listening to his drunken demands. I couldn't bear to watch it, so I did the only thing I knew that I could.
I stood too and, knowing that I wouldn't be strong enough to stop Harry, flung myself over Louis' body into the direct line of fire. I heard several cuss words from the other boys and chairs scraping across the floor when they saw my actions, and Louis attempted to shove me off of him, but I clung to him, guarding his body from Harry's impending fist.
I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing for the impact, but it never came. Instead the room went silent. I opened my eyes one-by-one to see Harry's hand clenched in midair, just inches from my face. He dropped it immediately and stood up straight, his dark eyes on me.
I looked down at Louis' face behind me. His nose was surely broken, his face bloody from several bashes to the head. I noticed his arms were also wounded from an attempt at defense. He had put up no fight against Harry.
His icy blue eyes stared at me and he shook his head slowly from side-to-side, his lips slightly parted in awe.
Suddenly I was yanked upwards, my body crashing painfully into Harry's. His eyes were dark with fury. "What the fuck were you thinking, Alice?! I could have hurt you! You--"
"Let me go!" I screamed at him as I pulled harshly out of his grip. My wrists were red and sore from his strong hold on them that I knew wasn't intended but made me angrier all the same. Tears were streaming down my face now, and everyone was staring at me. "How could you do that to him?"
"He was--"
"Defending me!" I finished for him, my voice hysterical. "You don't just hurt someone like that, Harry! You don't fucking do that! Not to the people you care about..." I trailed off, my eyes wide as I realized that these words I was shouting at Harry could easily be shouted at Seth. I didn't want to think of Harry the way I thought of Seth. I never wanted him to be even remotely close, but by wanting this so badly, I had failed to realize how similar the two were and I realized that this fact terrified me.
Harry's eyes widened slightly and I knew that he had come to the same conclusion that I had.
"Alice--"
"Don't touch me." My voice was low and surprisingly calm as I deflected his attempt to reach out to me. His arm dropped and he ground his teeth together in frustration.
"You're acting irrationally," he said. He stepped forward toward me so that our bodies were just inches apart. I glared at him.
He reached his arm up and immediately I flinched away from it, my hands reaching up to protect my face.
The room was silent again.
"I wasn't going to hit you, Alice," he murmured. His voice was much softer now and his brow was furrowed. "I wouldn't hit you... I-I told you that." It was the first time he had stuttered in front of me. He was usually so smooth with his words.
"I don't know what to believe anymore," I admitted in a whisper.
Harry's jaw clenched and then several more things happened far too fast for my liking.
Zayn and Liam both appeared behind Harry and wrapped their arms around his--keeping him from moving any closer to me I realized. Niall lightly touched my arm and I looked at him curiously before he glanced down at Lou, jerked his head in the direction of the door, and pulled me out of the room.
I was brought to the living room where I took a seat on the same pale couch as before and waited until Louis walked in, an ice-pack held to his face. He gave me a sad smile.
"I'm so sorry, Louis," I whispered as he sat beside me. He took my hand in his and shook his head.
"Don't be, I knew what I was doing," he assured me.
"Clearly," I remarked, gesturing to his bloody nose.
He shrugged, unconsciously beginning to rub patterns across the back of my hand. It was strangely soothing. "I know how Harry is. I was prepared for him to overreact. I just didn't think he would react so... strongly about it. I hope you didn't take offense to it, as well. I only meant--"
"I understood," I promised him with a small smile.
We sat there in silence until Zayn walked in, shaking his head. "You're brave, Lou," he smirked at his friend.
Louis merely shrugged it off.
"And you... you're fucking crazy." He was shaking his head again. I just looked at him, trying hard not to be bothered by his words. "But I like it," he added with a short laugh.
"Thanks then," I said quietly.
He took a seat on the chair opposite us. "You know, no one's ever done that."
"What?" I questioned.
"Stopped him," Zayn replied, looking at me curiously. "Once he gets going... he doesn't stop... not for anyone. But you, that is."
I realized what his words meant. When Harry got angry he lost control, and no one could ever make him stop once he was in that world of fury. It explained why no one tried to help the situation back there. But I had stopped him. I had done what none of them could do.
"I don't like admitting it, but you're right, Lou," Zayn sighed. "He feels something for Alice."
I looked down at my hands. "He kind of told me that," I said shyly.
"Hmm," Zayn hummed.
Niall appeared back in the room a moment later. "You alrigh', babe?"
I nodded in confirmation. "Thanks, Niall."
"Of course," he smiled at me before looking at the other two. "He's calmed down now. He's really sorry too, Lou. He didn't mean to overreact... and Alice, he wants to see you."
My hand tightened in Louis' and he looked over at me, squeezing my fingers in his. "It'll be okay. He wouldn't hurt you... I know that for a fact." He said those last words with such confidence that suddenly I found myself believing him.
"Louis... thank you," I whispered. I released his hand and leaned forward to a press a kiss to his cheek. I didn't look back at the others as I walked back toward what I was now calling the meeting room.
Harry sat in his place at the head of the table, his head in his hands. Liam sat beside him, speaking in a low, calming voice.
Liam looked up when I appeared in the doorway and let out a sigh as he clapped Harry on the back. He looked up. He hadn't been crying, but it was clear how upset he was. All color had drained from his face and his eyes were pitch black.
Liam walked over to me. "I'll leave you to it," he gave me a small smile before departing.
Harry and I stared at each other for a long time. I didn't know what to say to him. I felt bad for getting so angry before, but what had he expected?
"Come here." His voice was husky and rough as he held his arms open. I walked toward him slowly and paused before his waiting arms.
He tilted his head up to look at me, his face emotionless but a certain light to the darkness in his eyes. That's what we were: the dark and the light.
Slowly I stepped forward toward his turned body and his arms wrapped around the backs of my thighs, pulling me down onto his lap so that I was straddling his legs. I wasn't sure how he had managed it on the chair, but it was a surprisingly comfortable position.
His arms moved to make a circle around my waist and I leaned my head against his shoulder, breathing in his scent that had become familiar and comforting to me.
"Mm, you smell good," he mumbled. I laughed lightly.
"I'm so sorry, Alice," he whispered a moment later, his voice completely serious. "I just-I lose control. I don't know what comes over me. But I would never ever hurt you."
I let out a soft breath. "I know."
His arms tightened slightly around me and we just sat there in each others arms. It was odd how drastically things had gone from good to bad and back to good. Though I guess nothing was particularly good right now, but this little moment here was perfect.
Harry shifted slightly and I leaned back to look at him. His eyes locked with mine. "I want to kiss you."
His words surprised me slightly, but within seconds I realized what he was trying to do. He was being careful with me... respectful.
"Then do it," I told him.
A grin stretched across his face as his hands moved up to rest on the upper half of my back and he pulled me gently toward him until his lips met mine. I moved my hands to his curls as his mouth moved slowly against mine, something I'd wanted to do for an impossibly long time and he smiled into the kiss.
"You're so beautiful," he hummed against my lips. I pulled away to look at him curiously. I wanted to say something back to him, but the best I could come up with was, "I love your curls."
He laughed, his head tilting back slightly before his lips reattached to mine. He moved his hands over mine and guided them back into the soft ringlets that adorned his head. I was surprised by how silky and smooth they were.
After a few long seconds he pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. His eyes were, for once, a brilliant green. There was no darkness there.
"You know, that was our first kiss," he told me as our breathing began to slow.
"There was the car one," I reminded him.
"That didn't count," he smirked. "That wasn't a real kiss."
"Why?"
"Because it wasn't special," he explained. "It wasn't like this." He leaned forward, moving his lips against mine briefly before pulling back.
And despite the fact that everything seemed against me, I knew I would always have this one perfect moment.