They're gone. The thought alone seems unnatural--alien. There will be no more blood at the hands of the Titans, and no more sorrow. We can finally leave from the confines that we call Three Walls.
For the past three weeks, I have been contemplating leaving. But, it begs to ask the question of what good could come from it? What if the world is not how I imagine? Surely, there are many dangers ahead that I am not aware of.
I don't know, and I may never know what the world out there is like.
* * *
I'm laying upon my bed, the ceiling being the canvas and my thoughts being the paint. My head full of ideas and questions with no answers as my daydreams come and go as they please.
My thoughts are interrupted by a flushed Armin, tired from running. The moisture on his face makes small hairs stick to his forehead.
"What is it, Armin?" I question, standing on the floor to make my way to him.
"Eren is in a fight again. A big one."
I feel my eyes subconsciously lower. "Where is he?"
"The courtyard," he says. I push past the disheveled blonde.
I thought these issues would no longer occur. I guess not.
* * *
When I get to the courtyard, I am attracted to a massive crowd of soldiers, which I expect Eren and his opponent to be in the centre.
I force my way between the gaps of people that are chanting a chorus of "go Eren!"s and "fight, fight!"s and the immaturity of these grown folk makes me scowl beneath my breath.
One of the members of the crowd notices me and immediately steps aside, followed by others who do the exact same.
After having pushed all the way through to the centre of attention, there they are: brawling like mad men straight out of a tavern.
The man I see wear the Military Police uniform, but I do not recognise his face, which makes me ponder on what he could have done to start a fight with Eren.
They have each other practically by their necks, and Eren's opponent looks as if he is going to throw him over to his side, but before that can happen I grab the two of them and tear them away from each other.
As I hold Eren's jacket collar, he throws his jacket off his shoulders and protests: "what the hell, Mikasa!"
I toss his jacket aside and press my hand against his shoulder and he shoves it off as I expected of him.
"Go away!"
He goes in to fight the other guy again, who appeared to be crying tears of laughter from the scene unraveling between me and Eren before him. This only pisses Eren off more, so I jump in hurriedly and grab Eren's torso, pulling him away from him.
The crowd begins to make an uproar of laughter now, and Eren --already hot and frustrated--begins to shake and his temperature rises.
He shifts around to try and loosen my grip on him and he almost does, but I hook onto his collar and that's when his fist comes swinging my way and makes a connection directly with my nose.
I am stunned for a moment, but I have to regain my composure quickly to stop Eren from attacking again, but when my faze ends, Eren isn't going in to continue the brawl, but is instead staring at me with wide eyes.
I hold the bridge of my nose to stop the flow of blood from going onto my white shirt, save for the few drops that already have dripped onto it.
The only sound that is travelling through the air is the wind and bird tweets, as the crowd, Eren and the men are all silent.
The crowd disperses as Eren leaves the ring and I follow behind him.
I wince a little as my nose throbs, and holding it doesn't help the pain.
As soon as we leave from where the crowd can see us, Eren grabs my arms and escorts me to the backroom of HQ where he shuts the door behind us.
"Mikasa, this needs to stop," he says.
"No, Eren, you need to stop. You are eighteen years old, you can't be getting into fights like this anymore."
"What would you possibly know?! You were not there when it all started!"
I swallow as he comes closer to me, and he yells louder.
"The MPs are not as amazing as they make out, and I caught him bullying a newbie. Did you expect me, to stand there and watch someone get beat and humiliated like that? Do you?!"
Shortly, guilt settles into my core.
"You jump in without knowing the whole story..." Eren states, fury still raw in his voice, but he has quietened.
A fist of his taps the wall behind him. "As you said, I am eighteen and need to take matters into my own hands now, and protecting those who need it is my priority."
My fingers are still squeezing my nose, but my grip must have loosened during his explanation and now blood is dripping down my wrist.
I squeeze my nose harder, and it makes me feel somewhat lightheaded.
"I managed to fail and succeed today. I helped that guy escape that prick's clutches, however, I hurt you in the proce-"
When he finally turns to me again, he must be alarmed by the blood all around my hand and wrist. Before he can make his way towards me, I raise my other hand in order to tell him to stop.
"No, leave it. I got it." I say, reopening the door of which we previously entered. "I'm going to the washroom."
I shut the door behind me and when I turn around, I see Armin from a short distance away and his eyes widen when he lays eyes on me. "Mikasa!"
I sigh quietly and continue to the washroom across the courtyard. Armin paces towards me and examines my face.
"What happened?" He asks worrisome, but I don't wish to explain.
"Eren hit me," I say, not stopping my pace, but Armin does. "What?"
"I'll explain later."
I jog into the washroom to run my hand under the tap and wash all the blood from it.
I rub all around my hand and wrist with my other. The water in the cobble sink turns from grey to red in hue.
After my hands are clean, I begin to wash my nose and a pasty mesh of water and blood is formed.
The mesh gets onto my sleeves, but that doesn't bother me really.
I dry my hands on my jeans and continue to hold my nose and tilt my head back slightly to stop more blood flow.
I head to exit the washroom, having cleaned my hand and face. Stepping out, I see Armin had vacated and now I should head back to my room, there is nothing else for me to do.
* * *
At midnight, I went to check with Eren, to see if he had calmed down and everything was all right, again. Two taps on the door, and no response. I tapped louder, and my guess was that he was asleep.
Now, this morning, I tried again, and the same thing occurred: nothing. Twisting the door knob, the door creaked open and I expected a tired Eren sprawled on the bed with his mouth wide open, but no. He wasn't here.
I decided to head to breakfast instead and I am now walking through the mess hall, loud and full of life as always. I see Armin's blonde hair bopping in a conversation.
"Hey, Armin," I say to him, sitting opposite him. The person who he was talking to before vacates almost immediately after seeing me, it was the guy who fought Eren yesterday. It's clear why he moved so quickly.
"Morning, Mikasa," he says. "How's Eren?"
"I was just going to ask the same thing. Have you seen him? I haven't since I went to clean my nose yesterday."
Armin ponders briefly, furrowing his brows in deep thought. He shakes his head lightly.
"Well, he's not here, so I am guessing that he's in his roo-"
"I've already looked there."
Quietly, he replies with, "oh..."
He clears his throat. "Where would an angry Eren go?" A particular place crosses my mind. "Outside the walls?" I suggest.
This should be a good time to confront him, out the walls where he can relax a little.
I need to go.
"I'm going after Eren." I say jumping from the bench to make my exit.
* * *
I ride outside the gates freely and search the area for him. It feels odd riding out alone, having no Titans running after you, or a squad leader to command you.
It's nice, it's free.
But, I feel insecure.
"Eren!" I call for him and then repeat, "Eren!"
I start to wonder if he's even out here. All I hear is the trotting of the horse that I'm riding and I see nobody else in sight. He very well could have left hours ago and God knows how far he could have traversed in that time.
With a strong pat on its side, I tell my horse to slow down.
To my surprise, I hear someone call my name. "Mikasa!"
I turn around instantly, feeling so relieved.
I see a figure riding towards me, the brightness of the sun making it hard to see them, so it's like a silhouette. Then, I notice blonde hair. Armin.
His horse stops next to mine.
"What're you doing out here? I heard you calling Eren, haven't you seen him?" He asks me.
"I thought you were him."
"Oh, sorry about that, Mikasa. I'll help you look for him. I am his friend too." He says to me.
"Thank you, Armin." I stretch a smile. "Let's split up, you look east and I'll look west.
If you don't find him, head back, with or without me. Shoot your gun if you found him, using a green flare." He tells me.
He hands me a flare and I press it into my pocket.
"If something happens, fire a red flare." He adds, whilst handing me another flare. "We should head back at noon. He'll turn up eventually."
I agree and he then rides off. I go the opposite direction.
. . . . . . . . .
It's been almost an hour since me and Armin departed now and I wonder where the hell Eren could be. There's so much field for him to have covered, the search might be pointless.
This could be an entire goose chase. We could be running after nothing if he's not out here at all.
Maybe it's just pointless to do this right now.
But, I hear stomps behind me.
These aren't human stomps, they aren't horse stomps, they sound like a Titan's.
It could be, but it shouldn't be... Perhaps, I'm losing my mind already, but I have my flare in hand, ready to engage if it is indeed what I believe it is.
I swiftly turn, flare aimed right at its head, but, it isn't an ordinary Titan chasing after me.
It's Eren.