the address namjoon gave to jungkook was a cemetery. jungkook was confused at first, but then he saw taehyung sitting next to one of the graves and frowned deeply. he walked closer to the older boy, not wanting to disturb taehyung in any way. taehyung just seemed to be sitting peacefully, looking at the tombstone in front of him. jungkook looked closer and saw the name KIM MI-YEON on the head of the tombstone. January 16th, 1962 - March 29th, 2008 was under the name, with CARING MOTHER, WIFE, & SISTER next to it.
that was taehyung's mother and today was the day she died.
jungkook wanted to hug taehyung so badly, but he refrained and decided to just wait until the boy left. but after almost an hour passed by, jungkook had almost fallen asleep on a grave and decided to go greet taehyung.
he cleared his throat when he approached taehyung from behind, the older turning back at him. jungkook gave a small smile and sat next to taehyung, who went back to looking at the tombstone in front of him.
they sat in silence, jungkook deciding to lace his hands with taehyung's. he then leaned his head on taehyung's shoulder, closing his eyes. it was oddly peaceful, sitting in a cemetery.
"do you miss her?" jungkook finally asked, his eyes still closed. he heard taehyung sigh.
"a lot," he answered quietly.
jungkook hummed, snuggling more into taehyung. "tell me about her."
"she worked at a bakery and she always stole their cupcakes so that i can get some. they were red velvet and were made by her. she always baked me sweets, but she knew i loved her red velvet cupcakes and made those the most," he sighed, voice shaking a little as tears started to clog his throat. "she always made them just for me," he whispered.
jungkook could listen to taehyung talk for hours and he'd never get bored. something about his voice and the way he talked just made jungkook feel warm inside.
"tell me more," jungkook quietly said.
"she would have loved you," taehyung said as he let out a breath. "if you guys ever met, i know she would have loved you."
jungkook opened his eyes and looked at taehyung, who had tears in his eyes, trying to hold them back. jungkook put his hand on the hack of taehyung's neck and leaned forward to give taehyung a chaste kiss on the lips, surprising the older boy when he pulled back shortly after.
taehyung licked his lips before going in for another kiss, a deeper one, running his hands through jungkook's hair as jungkook kept a firm grip on taehyung's neck. jungkook felt a wer splash on his cheek and knew taehyung started crying.
"we're kissing by your mom, tae," jungkook panted when they both pulled back, their foreheads resting against each other's. "y-you wanna go now? or stay longer?" he asked softly.
"we can go," taehyung whispered, jungkook helping him stand up. he wiped the tears that kept gathering in his eyes. he looked back at the grave before looking back to jungkook, who had his hand out. taehyung softly smiled and held jungkook's hand in his and they started walking back to his house.
soon, they were both in taehyung's bedroom, jungkook laying his head on taehyung's stomach as taehyung played with the younger's hair. they both were staring at the ceiling, lost in their own thoughts.
"where's your dad, tae?" jungkook asked suddenly, making taehyung's heart drop.
"he's in prison," taehyung answered quietly, biting his lip afterwards.
"oh," jungkook whispered, not knowing what else to say. he thought back to when he first asked taehyung where his parents were and his heart broke even more. "do you ever miss him?"
"n-not really."
"why?" jungkook asked, his curiousity growing.
"i don't feel like talking about it. kookie," taehyung sighed, sitting up, making jungkook roll off his stomach. taehyung chuckled when jungkook sent him a little glare. "are you hungry?" he asked, trying to change the subject to something other than him.
jungkook shook his head. "i want to get to know more about you."
"and you will, i promise, but today's a really sad day for me and i'd rather not talk about why my dad's in prison," taehyung said almost bitterly, but jungkook heard it and looked down. "i'm sorry lovely. i didn't mean to have that tone with you." taehyung frowned.
"lovely?" jungkook asked, a smug expression on his face. "did you just call me lovely?" he smirked, making taehyung scoff and roll his eyes.
"and what if i did? what are you gonna do?" taehyung smirked back, watching how jungkook slowly climbed on top of him, something in his eyes - lust, hunger,
love?
nope, not love. taehyung only loved jungkook, not the other way around. but he didn't care at the moment, as jungkook and him were now making out. taehyung's hands roamed jungkook's sides as jungkook kept his hands on both sides of taehyung, supporting himself. as the make out session started getting deeper, with taehyung's cold hands feeling jungkook's warm skin, taehyung was getting hard. jungkook was unconsciously rolling his hips onto taehyung's as he got more into the kiss, and taehyung was struggling to bite back the groans of pleasure that wanted to escape his lips.
but then he heard jungkook whimper when he accidentally pulled at the younger's hair and holy shit, taehyung was unbelievably hard.
when jungkook started kissing down taehyung's neck, taehyung realized how much more this would escalate if they continued and mumbled a little, "w-wait, jungkook-" jungkook hummed in response, sucking on taehyung's right collarbone. "we-we should stop."
jungkook stopped and frowned at taehyung, "am i doing something wrong?"
taehyung quickly shook his head, "of course not kookie! you're doing everything right, it's just - this doesn't feel right." and that's when taehyung knew he fucked up, because how jungkook was on the other side of the room, mumbling apologies. taehyung cursed at himself. he didn't mean it like that.
taehyung reached out for jungkook when he approached him, but the brunette just moved away, too embarrassed to face the older.
"can i at least explain what i meant?" taehyung sighed, defeated.
"i already got what you meant," jungkook huffed, sending back a harsh glare at taehyung before turning back to the wall.
"kookie, it's just-" he stopped, trying to find the right words. "we're not official or anything, so i feel like we shouldn't do anything more until that happens," he said, jungkook not responding. "and just - i don't know. i don't want you to do anything you'll regret."
jungkook finally turned to look at taehyung, a frown on his lips. "i wouldn't regret anything that happens with you." taehyung just looked at him in disbelief. "i-i know that when we first met, i told you i wasn't gay, that i'd never like you, and i know you still think about that, but.. i really like you. i know i don't show it sometimes, but just know i do. i care about you a lot. i don't think anything will change my feelings for you. just because i don't want a relationship doesn't mean my feelings for you aren't there. i just don't want you getting hurt-"
"i won't get hurt," taehyung cut jungkook off, swallowing hard. "even if you do ever hurt me, i'd still come back to you without hesitation."
"i'm going to break your heart," jungkook whispered.
taehyung sadly smiled in response, "you can't break what's already broken." jungkook just shook his head in response, about to answer, but taehyung beat him, "i want this with you. i want us, okay? i really want us to happen."
"i-i don't know-"
"let me show you what love is like," taehyung whispered, pressing a kiss to jungkook's forehead. "you have no idea how bad i want this with you."
jungkook stayed silent, trying to sort out his racing thoughts. taehyung was overwhelming him, but he kept calm.
"think about it," taehyung said, sounding disappointed, but nonetheless still smiled. he walked away from jungkook, starting to change his shirt, from a dirty black long sleeve into a clean grey one. jungkook found himself staring at the lines on taehyung's torso, frowning deeply.
"t-tae," he softly said, getting the older's attention. "can i see your scars?"
taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. "why would you want to see those?" he dryly asked, a little hurt and anger in his eyes.
"i want to know the stories behind them." jungkook was now chest-to-chest with taehyung, his fingers gently pulling at the bottom of taehyung's shirt. "please?"
taehyung sighed, "i don't want you to see them."
jungkook bit his lip and nodded in understanding, looking down at the floor. he felt taehyung's hands grab at his and suddenly move them under taehyung's shirt. furrowing his eyebrows, jungkook looked up at the older.
"just - i'll let you feel them," taehyung gently said, guiding jungkook's hands over ever harsh cut on his stomach, slowly leading up to his chest. jungkook's breath stayed still in his throat, his heart breaking every time he traced a scar. what hurt more was that he knew this wasn't all of them. taehyung then let go of jungkook's hands, letting jungkook freely feel taehyung on his own. he could feel taehyung's body tense and he frowned.
"they feel pretty bad, huh?" taehyung breathed out, an almost blank expression on his face, but jungkook could see the pain in his eyes. jungkook stayed silent, moving his hands from under his shirt to cup taehyung's cheeks, the two now looking into each other's eyes. slowly, jungkook leaned forward and pressed his lips to taehyung's, and it was probably the most they've kissed in a day.
it wasn't like taehyung was complaining anyways.
taehyung instantly relaxed, closing his eyes and kissing jungkook back. it was slow and passionate and taehyung knew for certain his feelings - he was head over heels for jeon jungkook and there was nothing he could do about it.
-
first off, i barely planned this chapter so that's why it's messy af. second off, i couldn't find the name of taehyung's mom in real life so i just picked a name for her and improvised everything basically. the rest of this chapter is really messy and angsty and just cringey and i apologize so much. also one thing i want to clear up
i do not glamorize or romanticize self-harm/abuse/eating disorders/mental illnesses/ect
i'm simply just a fetus with a bunch of depression plotlines, okay?
(i also can't describe things for shit so apologies for the shitty make out session lmao)
anyways this was quite a long note
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