I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
---
If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
-Matchbox Twenty, "If You're Gone"
Brooke
"Brooke, get me a beer!" Jordan called from the couch.
We had each done a full hit of heroin in the last hour, and I was still riding out my high. But I resented Jordan for ordering me around, no matter how high I was. He could get off the couch and get his own damn beer.
"I'm busy," I retorted. I wasn't actually busy; I was just standing in front of the counter staring at the floor. I just really didn't feel like being his bitch.
"Seriously?" he said, and he was on his feet and in front of me before I realized what was happening. "You're busy?"
I looked up at him from under heavily lidded eyes. "Yeah. I'm busy. Get your own fucking beer." The heroin had made me brave.
His hand hit my cheek before I realized what the hell was happening. "What the fuck, Jordan?" I asked, my high slipping through my fingers.
He grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the wall, holding me there. "I give you everything, you bitch. I supply your addiction for free, and I fuck you whenever you want. When I ask you to do something for me, you fucking do it. Understand?" he hissed, his face inches from mine.
I coughed, breathing getting more and more difficult the longer he held me. "Let me go, Jordan," I pleaded, my eyes boring into his.
"Tell me you understand," he breathed into my ear.
I set my jaw. "I understand," I seethed.
He let me go, and I kicked him in the balls. "I understand that you're a fucking abusive asshole who doesn't deserve any more of my time."
He roared in pain and fell backwards onto the black and white tile floor. "You bitch!"
"Yeah, I am," I said, grabbing my purse and stalking toward the door.
"You walk out that door, you'll never get another gram from me," he yelled.
"Fuck you, Jordan," I answered, slamming the door, climbing into my car, tears streaming down my cheeks.
Not because I gave a shit about Jordan.
But because I didn't know where my next fix was going to come from.
I knew I shouldn't be driving in the state I was in, but I had to get away from him, from that apartment.
What happened next, I never saw coming.
Rachel
I'd been lazy all Saturday, doing nothing except laying around the house and working on a paper for my Abnormal Psych class. I had thought about texting Brooke so many times, but I stopped myself. I knew I had to stick to my word. She had to see that we were serious.
Luke and I hadn't really talked much since our little performance yesterday. I didn't want Miles to get the hint that something weird had happened, and it's all I could think about when Luke was around. It had meant nothing to me – I was used to acting, had done it three out of the four years in high school – it was obvious that it had meant something to Luke.
And that was a problem.
I knew he had had a crush on me back in high school, but Miles and I started dating, then he and Brooke started dating, and nothing ever came of it. It never would have; I didn't see Luke that way. But was it possible he still carried a torch for me?
I shook my head, pushing my laptop away from me. No way. Luke was just confused over losing Brooke, and it's only natural that he'd turn to me. He'd never really try anything with me. That would hurt Miles too much, and having Miles as a brother meant the world to Luke. He'd never put that relationship at risk.
"Um, Rachel?" Luke said, surprising me out of my reverie by knocking on the bedroom door.
"Hey," I said, sitting up quickly and pulling my legs under me. I noticed his face was pale. "Luke. What is it?"
"It's Brooke."
I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Luke, come on. I told you not to – "
He shook his head. "No, Rachel, I didn't. Katherine called me. Brooke's been in an accident."
I swallowed. "No."
"Call Miles. Tell him to come home, we have to go to PCB now."
Miles was working out with the baseball team, and I prayed to God he'd have his phone.
I called him three times, no answer.
"Let's just go get him," I said, grabbing my purse and running past Luke into the hallway. "Come on."
He followed me to the Camaro and I sped off toward the baseball field.
When we pulled up, we were relieved to see Miles' Jeep sitting next to the dugout. We both jumped out, running at full speed to the fence. I flung the gate open and ran to Miles, who was throwing pitches with one of his teammates.
"Miles!" I yelled, my heart pounding in my chest. He turned around, smiling at first when he saw me, but then when he saw what must've been sheer panic on our faces, he immediately dropped the ball and glove from his hand and met me halfway.
"What is it, babe?" he asked, pulling me into his arms. He was sweaty, but I didn't even care.
"It's Brooke," Luke said quickly. "She's been in an accident."
"Oh, Jesus," Miles said, smacking his palm to his forehead. "Let's get out of here."
He turned and called something to his teammates, and we made our way back to the Camaro.
"Can you drive?" I asked, handing him my keys with a shaking hand.
"Of course, Rach," he said, kissing me on the temple. He opened the passenger door, and Luke climbed in behind my seat.
Miles scrambled behind the wheel. "Drive," I said, and he didn't waste a second.
***
Miles drove my Camaro faster than I think it had ever gone before, and we made it to PCB in just over an hour, which I think must be a world record.
"Where is she?" Miles asked as we passed the city limits sign.
"Sacred Heart," I said, looking at the text Katherine had sent me earlier.
"Okay," he said, typing it into my car's built-in GPS. "We'll be there in 15 minutes."
I nodded, glancing at Luke in the rearview. "Are you okay, Luke?" I asked gently.
He shook his head. "What if we lose her?"
"Don't say that," I said, closing my eyes. "We won't."
"You don't know that, Rachel," he said, his voice thick with tears.
I reached back and gripped his hand tightly in mine. "I do. I can feel it. Okay?"
He looked down at our hands and back into my eyes. He swallowed and I gave him a small smile, pulling my hand from his and putting it back on Miles' knee.
He looked at the ground, remaining silent for the rest of the ride to the hospital.
"We're here," Miles said as we pulled into the hospital parking lot. "Let me drop you and Luke off and I'll find a place to park. Text me her room number," he ordered, and I felt a rush of love for him. I love how he took charge in these situations, and I never had to worry about him doing the right thing.
"Okay," I said, kissing him quickly and getting out so Luke could crawl out of the backseat.
"Come on," I said to Luke, and we ran through the automatic doors, hoping against hope that we wouldn't find Brooke dead when we got inside.