A: I am in need of motivation.
💎
- Lisa
"Lisa."
Jennie eonnie touched my hand, we are watching Jungkook and Tzuyu's interview.
"The BLINK and some ARMY are fighting for the two of you."
My eyes are glued on the television, while Chaeyoung commented that.
"Well, Jin texted me..."
Jisoo eonnie took out her phone.
"I haven't been messaging him back but now, I am reading every single word. And now, he texted me again saying that..."
She looked at me and I felt her stare...
I tilted my head and looked at her with an emotionless face.
"That they know the two ARMY who joined screaming out for BTS and Blackpink."
She stated.
"They met the two the moment of you and Bambam got into the news with the scenes on the garden."
She added.
My head tilted back to the television.
The commercial is over....
A smile is formulated on his face...
Their hands are clasped together.
I can see myself on that show...
On that same position where I smiled like everything is true and answered like nothing is scripted.
"And besides that, some of our fans are shipping us. Maybe we fell for our own fan's eagerness."
Jungkook answered on his own while rubbing gently Tzuyu's hand.
"Tell me it is scripted."
Chaeyoung demanded.
No one spoke.
"Ahhh. So the ONCE and ARMY are a lot of help for you. They ship you a lot and now the two of you are announced publicly. They must be so happy and excited for the two of you."
The host stated, complimenting ONCE and ARMY who ship Tzuyu and Jungkook.
"WHAT ABOUT BTS AND BLACKPINK!?"
Another shout from a fan on the other side.
The camera din't changed...
The screen is still showing the host and Jungkook and Tzuyu.
It is just that the scream was so loud that the mic can hear it.
Everyone ignored it.
"Can someone tell me what's the ship name of these two young couple?"
The host asked looking at the ONCE sides.
The camera showed the fans raising their hands.
And one fan was selected.
The mic was give to her and she answered...
"Tzukook."
Everyone on that side squealed and clapped for the ship name.
"Wow, it can be a real name of a baby. Do you ever plan to get married soon?"
A sudden direct question was asked by the host.
"Maybe, but not now."
Tzuyu answered.
"What the actual fuck, bitch?"
Jennie eonnie cursed and asked frustratedly.
"Such a whore."
Jisoo eonnie added.
"Real slut."
Plus, Chaeyoung's.
"WHAT ABOUT LISKOOK!!!"
A group of people shouted it, and I am sure the securities are having a hard time stopping them.
"Our BLINK and their ARMY might get banned on that show. But it's good for now, that they are showing a lot of support on Lisa and Jungkook even though they just saw them dated for once and not so many times."
Jennie eonnie opinionated and she got a point.
"Jin said that the two ARMY they met knows that Jungkook and Lisa are actually dating, cause the night he walked away and walked under the rainy night, the boy lend him clothes to wear and they even shared drinks on a convenient store."
Jisoo eonnie informed.
But despite of everything we are discussing right now, disregard of what we are watching...
I still feel numb.
I feel cold and empty.
My sanity is dripping away from me.
I want the ground to swallow me and never spit me out again.
I am so done...
I am so done with myself...
With the whole situation I am currently in...
And in whole world.
If the world heard me saying that I don't want to be in this world anymore and will throw me away...I will be glad to die on the space, frozen and cold out, plus, out of oxygen.
"Can you please show us how sweet the two of you are?"
The host asked.
Just like what they asked me and Bambam to do...
They also asked it to Tzuyu and Jungkook.
Everything me and Bambam did and experienced were all the same as they are having now on that show...
But the difference was...
"Oh my gosh."
Chaeyoung gasped...
"No."
Jisoo eonnie face palmed.
"What the..."
Jennie eonnie's eyes widen.
The difference was, it was Jungkook who leaned forward to kiss Tzuyu.
"I don't know if it's scripted or not...
But I shouldn't care anymore...
I just got reminded of the fact that...
We are no longer in a relationship.
I have no right to get jealous of what he just did."
"YAH!"
Chaeyoung yelled and threw a pillow on the television.
"Chaeyoung-a."
Jennie eonnie pulled her arm andmade her sit back on the couch.
"Is it scripted?"
Jisoo eoniie asked, confusedly staring at the television.
"I want to believe that it is, but...what did we just saw again?"
Sarcastically, Jennie eonnie stated and asked.
My lungs took a deep inhale of oxygen.
I let it out as a silent sigh and I felt eyes staring at me.
"Pitying me again?"
I wanted to ask...
But instead of asking, or giving the three ladies of a look, I just stuck my eyes on the show which just ended that moment.
"Is he on revenge or something?"
Jisoo eonnie asked childishly.
"Did he do that because Lisa broke up with him?"
Chaeyoung added, toning like a kid as well.
Jennie eonnie shrugged her shoulders...
The devastation is visible to them.
And my eyes caught how they looked at me worriedly, as if I'm going to die seeing the man I love being officially announced to public dating someone else and not me.
I lifted my legs to the couch and bent my knees so I can hug it.
My head rested on the support of the couch as well as my back.
"Another breaking day."
My lips are dry...
My throat is burning...
My eyes are stinging...
My head started to feel pain.
"I don't want to cry..."
But that right moment I uttered those words on my mind...
Stupid fluids streamed down from my eyes to my cheeks.
The three ladies gathered around me and rubbed my arms, gently petting my hair and squeezing my hand.
And again...
No one can make me feel better, not even these three ladies who are trying to comfort me with silence.
"He is not mine anymore...
I shouldn't let my tears fall down again.
Cause he is not mine anymore.
I don't have the right to be jealous.
Cause he is not mine anymore.
Not anymore, and not going to be tomorrow."