{Prompt; http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/142340516123/person-a-is-crying-person-b-moves-as-hair-away}
kylo ren x stormtrooper!reader
edited: 17/11/2019
You were FN-2355, a sanitation Stormtrooper who cleaned the floors and polished the equipment. Occasionally you would run errands for Captain Phasma, and whenever the training sessions began you were there, training alongside your fellow Stormtroopers to be better, to be good fighters for the First Order.
You breathed and you moved the First Order - and occasionally daydreamed about how living another way of life would be like - but when you stopped to think about it, you never quite lived. You were alive, oh yes, and for that you were grateful.
So many Stormtroopers didn't even get that; instead, they died without ever really knowing why. Just that they should be 'appreciative' for they were dying for a 'just cause', a 'greater good'. But never once did they get acknowledged, all falling under the same group - the forgotten, the unimportant.
Just another death.
And if you were honest with yourself, you didn't want that. You didn't want to become just 'another one'. You didn't want to fight this war. But your fear of the First Order, of the power they held, was much stronger than your fear of fighting.
So, as any sane person would, you kept your mouth shut and carried on with what was expected of you; you mopped and cleaned and trained and thought nothing because even your own mind wasn't private.
You gripped the long handle of the mop and dipped it into the bucket, watching as the water rose to the edge and felt like you were drowning too.
~~~~
It didn't take too long to finish Section B, thank goodness. Of course, that also meant you had no other choice but to report back to Captain Phasma for more orders. You thought about staying behind to wait for the usual time you leave to arrive, but then, you remembered someone was bound to come walking through these halls. If they saw you just standing about, you knew you'd be in serious trouble. Captain Phasma would punish you and you didn't want that.
So, with your supplies in hand, you resigned yourself to more orders and just hoped they weren't terribly hard. You didn't mind cleaning if it kept you alive. Obviously, it did not stop you from daydreaming; you hadn't come across anybody yet, so you'd take the opportunity while it was there. You still kept one eye open for anybody, just in case, but otherwise, your mind was occupied with thoughts of another life.
A life where you didn't have to fear every corner, where you could daydream to your heart's content, where the silence wasn't interrupted by someone screaming- wait, what?
You froze and listened, and when you were certain of what you were hearing, you felt your grip on the broom tighten into a white-knuckle death grip. You turned a little to get a better hearing of the scream, and yes, right there, was Kylo Ren himself, screaming his throat hoarse.
The agonising scream must have been painful on his throat, you thought but winced at the sound of equipment breaking against a wall. Still nowhere near as painful as your death will be if you continue to stay.
You were ready to turn around and walk off. After all, what could you do? A lowly Stormtrooper? It was probably just best to leave and forget this ever happened, better for his dignity and certainly better for your continued existence (which will not be a thing if you continue to stay.) You knew exactly what happened to those that intervened; they ended up missing, killed even, and you didn't want that, funnily enough.
So you continued forward, death grip still on the broom, one foot in front of the other. One step, two steps- pause. You could hear crying, muted but just as raw, as if it physically hurt to even sob.
Before you realised what you were doing, you turned and had taken a couple of steps before realising. No, wait! Stop! you thought panicked, do Iwantto die? Ren wasn't a man known for his kindness; he killed over the smallest of things. What would he do to someone who's seen a weakness?
Dying this way was almost worse than dying while fighting. At least you weren't alone then. So, leaving would be the best option, yes.
Your body didn't think so, though, because your feet seemed to take control and was moving you directly towards the noise before you could step. You stopped outside of the room he must have been in and felt almost like you were suffocating. Oh, goodness. You really hoped this wasn't about to end badly for you.
Leaning your supplies against the wall, you carefully opened the door, preparing yourself for whatever may come. You hadn't prepared yourself enough, though. The sight of Kylo Ren himself curled up in a corner, his legs pressed tightly to his chest, his mask placing just a little bit away from him as if thrown, made you pause. You gasped before you could stop yourself, and Ren looked up from where his face had been buried in his knees.
You would've blushed if you weren't so stunned by his looks. He was normal and beautiful and nothing like you expected. His actions indicated someone hideous and yet... The tear stains certainly didn't go with the image you'd built for him.
You still weren't going to just waltz up to him and start comforting him or something. Regardless of how normal he looked, he was powerful and very, very dangerous.
The sound of clothing shuffling brought you back to reality and you looked up just in time to see Ren glaring at you, his hand raised. You panicked when you quickly threw a hand up, yelling out 'Stop!'; and whether it was out of surprise or curiosity, he stopped.
"U-um, I'm sorry, sir. I di-didn't mean to inter-terrupt. I'll, eh, I'll just- go. Now. Sorry!" You stuttered and all-too-eager to leave, you turned and was just about to leave the room when a startlingly-soft voice called out:
"Stay."
He then blushed upon realising what he'd said, coughed and asked once more, though this time his tone was more of a demand. You had no choice but to obey. Turning to face him properly, you took a step closer, hesitant as ever; and then, when he commanded you come even closer, you did so with a clenched jaw, stopping until you felt you were at a good enough distance.
Was he going to kill you now? Was he just luring you in closer so he wouldn't have far to stretch his hand out and squeeze? You didn't want to look up but you had to. 'Show no fear in the face of death,' Captain Phasma had once told you, during a training session. If only you knew just how hard it would be.
So, with a soft exhale, you looked up- and flinched when he lifted his hands towards your throat. This was it! He was going to kill you! It took you a couple of seconds to realise, however, that he wasn't. Instead, he took your helmet off and watched as it clattered to the floor. Oh. Now your face was on show. Well, maybe he wanted to look you in the eyes properly as you drew your last breath.
But as you stared, you couldn't help but think otherwise, for his eyes seemed to soften as he finally saw what you looked like underneath; and without warning, he lifted his arms to wrap around you, burying his face in your hair. You were so caught off guard, that the first thing to register in your mind was his height. He was quite tall but it was only now you realised just how much.
The second thing you noticed, when your brain finally decided to catch up, was that he was hugging you. Actually hugging you. As if that was normal. Even amongst your fellow Stormtroopers, physical or intimate contact was not allowed. So why, of all people, was Ren hugging you?
What was going on? This was nothing like the rumours told you, that Ren will kill any chance he gets. Not...this, and especially not the sobbing you heard once more. You inhaled and then released quietly. Well, you didn't know what to do, or what was even appropriate to do in this type of situation, so you let your instinct take over and comforted him.
It wasn't the type of instinct you expected to have upon meeting Kylo Ren; you assumed it'd be more along the lines of running as far away as you could, and yet here you were, comforting the tall, scary man. Slowly, you lifted a hand, waiting for the moment he pushed away and rubbed his back reassuringly. It seemed to be the final straw on the camel's back. He broke down and it was only because you were already holding him hat he didn't crash completely to the floor.
You tried not to feel so disturbed - this was all so very strange and nothing you expected to go through when you woke up this morning - and focused instead, on cradling him. At some point, it grew to a gentle rock and before you knew it, he'd quietened. You shifted so you could wipe his eyes free from tears with a touch as gentle as a mother's.
With the same touch, you slid a hand through his dark curls, pushing it out of his eyes. You muttered soothing words, hoping they'd keep the tears at bay and calm him further; and he was so broken, so tired, he didn't fight it. You wondered how long it's been since he's had soft contact.
You aren't sure how long you were there for but in that moment, you didn't care. You didn't care if someone walked in, if someone caught you or if you got into trouble. You didn't even care if he ended up killing you, strangely. Because even if he did, your view of him had changed completely.
Even if he brought the lightsaber down on you, you'd know he was only doing it because he thought he had to. The Dark was already in him but you knew, even then, the child never left. He was just waiting for somebody to come and help him. So you'd stay and be that help, the way nobody else seemed to be.