CHAPTER SUMMARY: Rey is confronted with a new challenge— freezing temperature.
Rey catches her breath, the hilt of her blaster resting against her cheek. She's crouched behind a large boulder, her back pressed against it.
They're getting closer. She can hear them, sense them. There are so many... at least thirty, probably more.
She can't fight them off. Even she's not that good.
No, there's only one option here. And it's straight ahead of her.
She looks through the forest, sparsely populated with dead trees, grayish-white and knotted.
It's about 100 meters ahead. Maybe less. She'll need to be fast.
She lowers her blaster, attaching it to her hip. She secures the strap of her pouch, then leans forward, dropping to her knees and planting her palms on the hard earth. Her breath is short, leaving soft mist in the cold air.
She closes her eyes, concentrating. She slows her breath, focusing on the Force within, losing herself in its energy. It flows through her body, calming her mind, priming her muscles.
She takes a deep breath, then rises halfway, bracing a toe against the boulder, fingertips spreading across the earth like claws. The shouts of her attackers echo behind her, footsteps getting closer, dead leaves crunching under thick boots.
Yet the forest grows quiet, sounds melting away until there's nothing but the pulsing of her heartbeat.
Her eyes snap open.
She takes off at full speed, sprinting through the forest, boots pumping against the ground, arms swinging by her sides.
Blaster fire whizzes around her, but she keeps her eyes forward, reaching out through the Force to sense the shots, weaving around them.
The fire grows more intense... there's more than she can dodge... a shot nips her right thigh just before she leaps over the cliff and into the raging river below.
A thousand daggers of cold pierce her body, freezing her in shock. She only moves because of the raging current, sweeping her forward. She fights to regain control of her legs, kicking to the surface.
She bursts through, taking a giant gulp of air, but she's barely out for a second before blaster fire rains down from above.
She ducks under the water, letting the current carry her away. The rapids pull her violently, thrashing her against sharp edges. She tries to keep her eyes open, see where she's going, but she's being tossed to and fro, white waters raging all around. She only comes up to gasp for air, then immediately dips down.
Suddenly, she gets caught from behind.
She pops her head out of water, twisting around to see what's keeping her. She's instantly met with blaster fire.
She ducks back under, kicking and flailing, trying to free herself, but it's no use. Finally, she pulls the strap of her pouch over her head and releases.
She surges forward, her jacket ripping off her as the river sweeps her away.
She pops above the surface, crashing against a large boulder, then another. The rapids toss her from side to side, bruising her, cutting her, but also making her a more difficult target.
She turns around just in time to see the edge not two feet ahead. She tumbles over the waterfall, down, down, into the deep below.
For a split second, the roar of the rapids disappears. It's almost peaceful, like the quiet heart of a storm.
But the current soon tugs her along, continuing to abuse her body, thrashing her against jagged edges in the stream. She fights to hold her breath, staying under for as long as she can before kicking to the surface.
Her head bobs above the water, exposed. She jerks around as the river carries her, searching for a sign of her attackers.
But she sees no one. The waterfall shrinks, getting further and further away, and now there are only trees, tall and bare.
The current tugs her along, spinning her around and around. She feels nauseous, but mostly she feels cold, a kind of cold she never knew existed. She's no stranger to freezing temperature, accustomed to long, desert nights, but she's never felt anything like this, a wet cold that cuts to the bone.
She knows she should stay in the river, gain more distance from her attackers.
But she can't stand another minute of this cold.
She dives to the right, kicking against the current. It keeps throwing her back, undoing her progress.
Swimming is not her forte. She only learned a few months ago, and the sensation of being immersed in water is still unfamiliar.
Rey flails her limbs, splashing about with wild, unpracticed strokes. She doesn't look up, just concentrates on moving her arms and legs, her muscles stiff from the cold. She loses herself in repetitive motion, eyes squeezed shut, ignoring the stream fighting against her.
Finally, she hits something solid.
She grips the object and pulls forward. It feels like a branch... No, it's a tree root, thick and jutting out of the tangled edge of the riverbank. She grips it with her other hand, hoisting herself up and over the edge, rising to her hands and her knees and crawling forward only to collapse a few seconds later.
She rolls onto her back, convulsing with shivers. She takes quick breaths, each one sharp and painful, a dagger of ice in her lungs.
She curls into a ball, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees, trying to preserve body heat. She squeezes her eyes shut, shivering violently, her teeth chattering.
She needs to get up, get back to town. Rose will be worried sick. She can't be more than a few miles away. She can make it back in hour, two at the most, but she doesn't have long before sundown.
She needs to get up. Now.
Despite her brain's command, she remains tucked in the fetal position, shivers wracking her body.
It's time. Come on, Rey. Get up.
She starts to loosen her hold, slowly drawing her knees from her body.
Suddenly she stops, jerking to the sky. Two birds fly out of a tree overhead. She remains still, ears alert, listening. The air seems to change around her. Or is it coming from within?
It is. Her core grows warm, that familiar sense of a presence creeping in from far away. It stretches through her limbs, overwhelming her.
Oh no...
Not now.
Rey tenses, squeezing her eyes shut. It happens just like it always does, the sound around her disappearing into a vacuum. An instant later, it returns.
And she feels him behind her.
She doesn't move, curled in a ball on the ground. For a minute, neither of them speak. She only hears the river, the birds, the chattering of her teeth. Finally, she coughs, clearing her throat.
"Th-this..." She struggles to speak through the shivers. "Isn't a good time."
"I can see that." His tone is flat.
Rey pushes from the ground, falling back on her calves and twisting around.
He's standing a pace away, looking down at her, eyebrows knitted.
Is that a hint of concern?
"Well then..." She takes a half breath. "Why don't you just... go away."
"You know that's not how this works." He blinks. "I don't have any more control over the bond than you do." He cocks his head.
That's definitely concern.
Rey shifts, pushing up to her knees. She brings a palm to her forehead, shivering.
"You can see my surroundings?" She focuses on the ground. "Hear things? Touch things?"
"Yes."
She groans, dropping her hand.
"Why does this keep happening!?" She growls, wrapping her arms chest, trying to stop her body from shaking. "And at the worst times. I've noticed that. Whenever I'm feeling horrible, that's when you show up."
She hears him fiddle with something beside her. A second later, she sees his waistband drop to the ground, and she snaps up.
He's pulling his thick black coat over his shoulders, nothing but a thin shirt underneath it.
"What are you doing?"
"You're wet and half-naked in the cold, Rey." He slips the coat off, offering it to her.
She eyes it warily. The proud part of her wants to refuse, but the part of that's so cold she can't think straight doesn't care. They've never tried to exchange anything through the bond before... but now seems like an excellent time to test that theory.
She grabs the coat and starts putting it on.
"Wait."
She stops.
"Take your shirt off."
She snaps up, shooting him a look.
"Rey." He rolls his eyes. "Wet makes the cold ten times more dangerous. You need to get as dry as you can. Take off your socks too." He turns away, giving her some privacy.
She pushes out an exhale.
Normally, she'd be peeved by his imperiousness, expecting her to follow his orders without question. But the way her body is feeling, the numbness, the stiffness, the fog starting to overtake her mind... Maybe he's right.
She slips off her long-sleeved shirt, once thick and warm but now in tatters from her trip down the river, and begins to draw his coat over her shoulders. It swallows her, but at the moment, she'll take what she can get.
"What about you?" She leans over, reaching for his waistband. It's too big for her to wear properly, but she can tie it.
"I live in space. I'm used to the cold," he says dryly. "Besides, I won't be spending the night here."
Rey scoffs.
"Neither will I." She pulls off her boots. "I've got to get back to town. I've got people waiting for me." She pries off a wet sock, tossing it to the side.
"Rey, no." He whips around. "Look at your hair."
She knits her eyebrows.
What? What does her hair have to do with anything?
She reaches up to grab a few strands. That's when she feels it.
Ice. The water is freezing in her hair.
"It's not even sundown, and it's below freezing." He glances to the sky. "You don't have long before dark, and it'll get much colder then."
She finishes tying her boots and rises, shivering.
"Well, that's why I have to hurry." She brushes off her pants. "Besides, I'll start to feel warmer when I get moving."
"Rey, no." He steps in, black eyes fixed on hers. "You'll freeze to death. You need to find shelter, build a fire, and dry off."
She rolls her eyes, looking away. She starts forward, catching her bearings, trying to get a sense of direction.
He grabs her arm, and she snaps up, surprised.
"Rey, you need to listen to me." He sounds urgent. "You're from a dry planet. You don't what it means to be wet in this kind of cold, but you're about to find out. Do you know what happens to a human body in freezing temperature?" He leans in.
She stares at him, guarded, but doesn't say anything.
"First, your clothes will freeze to your skin. Your extremities will numb, your lips will freeze shut. Next, you'll start to feel disoriented, lose coordination." As he speaks, his face descends, getting closer. "Your pulse will weaken, your pace will slow, your muscles growing so rigid you can hardly move. That's when the irrational behavior will begin. You might take off all your clothes, not realizing what you're doing. And then..." He stops, his face just an inch from hers. "You'll die."
He lingers for a moment, black eyes piercing. Then he steps back, straightening and looking around.
"You need to find shelter, build a fire, and wait until morning." He shoots her a glance. "Come on." He nods forward, then strides in that direction.
Rey watches him go, the forest bed crunching under his boots. She narrows her eyes as he gets further, half expecting him to disappear. Since they've started seeing one another's surroundings, neither of them has actually tried to walk away from the other, not far at least. Maybe when there's enough distance between them he'll just... fade away.
She waits.
No luck.
Rey glances at the sky, noting the setting sun. She brings a palm to her head, still shivering. She feels less alert than she did, her mind foggy.
She sighs.
Then she steps forward, following him reluctantly.
The forest is large, stretching out in all directions. The trees are bare, branches like bony fingers twisting into the sky. They're sparse enough to see a thick ceiling of gray clouds, the amber glow of the sun barely visible.
The earth is covered in dead leaves along with other remnants— twigs, branches, moss-covered logs. They're on a sloping mountainside, walking uphill. There's a ledge ahead, not too high, about five meters up, but it gets taller as it stretches to the left.
He stops just in front of it, crouching down.
Rey pulls her arms tightly around herself, picking up her pace to meet him. She feels numb— her fingers, her nose, but most especially her feet. They feel heavy, like blocks of ice.
"We need to collect dry wood." He shifts through a pile of branches.
"That won't be easy." She stops behind him. "This forest is damp. It's rained every day since we arrived."
He stands, a couple of branches tucked under his arm, and heads left. She follows, scanning the ground for firewood. They make their way up the incline, the ledge to their right getting taller as they go.
"So, what happened before I got here?" He calls back, several paces ahead. "You just decided to take a swim in the freezing cold?"
Rey crouches to examine a branch.
"That's none of your business." She drops the branch on the ground.
Too heavy. Full of water.
She rises, withdrawing a numbed hand back in the oversized coat. She pauses a moment, a bit lightheaded.
For several minutes, they walk silently up the mountainside, picking up firewood as they go. Rey finds she can't quite walk in a straight line, her legs heavy and clumsy, her mind unfocused. Maybe she should start talking, just to stay alert.
"I was in town." She finally breaks the silence. "A friend of mine—"
"Resistance fighter?"
"Friend." Rey draws out the word. "She was... in a meeting, of sorts. I was waiting for her when a boy ran up to me, panicked. He said his mother took a bad fall outside town, couldn't walk. She needed someone to help her in before nightfall." Rey trips a little but regains balance.
"And you fell for that?" His tone is patronizing. He's getting further ahead.
She narrows her eyes, stooping down to examine a branch.
"I suspected it might be a ruse." She picks it up for a closer look. "But I wasn't sure. And if I was wrong, that means his mother would have frozen to death when I could've easily picked her up. So, I could either trust the boy and possibly be attacked or not trust him and leave him orphaned on this horrible planet." She adds the branch to her collection, rising. "For me, it was an easy choice to make."
He scoffs
"It's a miracle you survived in that wasteland you call a home with that attitude," he calls back snidely.
Rey frowns, a low burning anger in her gut.
"That attitude is how I survived." She picks up her pace, trying to catch up. "People on Jakku may not have liked me, but they knew what I was about. They knew I wouldn't steal from them. Or lie. And they knew if the situation was dire and I could help, I would as long as I had no reason to distrust them. And they would do the same for me. Kind of like an honor code. Unspoken. It saved my life more than once."
She can't see his reaction, his back to her as he makes his way up the incline. He's several meters ahead now. She follows as best she can, trying to wriggle her toes inside her boots.
But she can't feel them. In fact, she can't feel her feet at all. On the bright side, she's so numb the cold's hardly painful anymore. She's shivering much less than she was.
"So, you'd help others at risk to your own life?"
"Within reason." She halts to collect herself, her brain foggy and unfocused.
"I can see how well that worked out for you today."
"I'm still alive, aren't I?" She stumbles forward. "Besides, I didn't know the gangs on this planet were so militarized. I had no reason to expect a damn army. And all of that for a speeder."
"I don't think they were just after the speeder." His tone darkens. "You're a young woman on a sparsely populated planet. You're valuable."
Suddenly, Rey lunges, tripping on her own two feet. She drops the firewood to break her fall, something sharp cutting into her palm.
Ben moves to her swiftly, crouching. He immediately starts examining her boots.
"You can't feel your feet, can you?" He looks up.
She shakes her head.
He leans in, taking her chin with his right thumb and index finger. He examines her in clinical way, as though looking at her and not looking at her at the same time.
"Your pupils are dilated." He sounds worried. "Are you shivering less?"
"Yes, actually."
"That's not good." He shakes his head. "That's not good at all. Stay here." He rises, walking away.
She does as he says, easily. She's not sure she could stand if she tried. Everything's so numb. She can't feel her face, her ears, her hands, her feet. Her mind doesn't feel right. It's like she's not fully conscious, in that liminal space between being asleep and awake. She draws her knees into her chest, trying to grip them tightly, but she feels weak. Without meaning to, she leans forward, crumpling on the ground.
She's not sure how much time passes before she feels herself lifted, floating through the woods. She's so disoriented she seems to be in a dream. The forest blends together— the dead brown leaves, the bare branches, the gray skies bleeding into a mass of dull color. Suddenly, it all disappears, nothing but darkness, and she feels the ground below. She rolls on her side, curling into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut.
Time... it doesn't pass like it should. She fades in and out, not aware of the space around her, seeming to be nowhere at all. She focuses on her breath, the one thing she can actually feel.
Eventually, she shifts, arms slide under her body to lift her and set her back down. She's pulled up, her back pressed firmly against something hard and warm, but the real warmth is ahead. She opens her eyes.
Fire, glorious fire, rages in front of her. Large hands pull up the oversized sleeves of her coat, taking her wrists gently and holding her palms up to the flames. She feels a stream of warmth at her ear, his breath.
She's enveloped in him, pressed against his chest, his shoulders and arms extended out on other side of her, creating a wall of warmth. He scoots forward with her between his legs, drawing her closer to the fire. His hands are at her wrists, holding up her palms, trying to thaw her.
It's working. She feels the blood returning to her fingers. She moves them slightly, shaking them free of their stiffness.
He releases her wrists when she does this, dropping his hands to her shins. He moves up and down, gripping them softly. The feeling starts to return to her feet. She can wriggle her toes in her boots again. Soon, she starts feeling her lips, her nose, her ears... It all comes back.
Her vision sharpens to normal. The fog in her brain begins to clear, gradual but steady.
Rey drops her arms, crossing them at her chest. He does the same, wrapping his arms around her, enclosing her in his body heat. She looks like a miniature version of him, sitting exactly as he is, feet planted in front of her, knees up, nested inside him. She rests her head back and watches the fire, flickering and crackling.
She looks up and around, taking in her surroundings. It's a cave... Well, more like a large hole. The walls and ceiling are a mixture of earth and rock except for the smooth slab of stone behind them. Her eyes drift to the fire pit.
It's well constructed, large rocks forming the perimeter, the wood stacked in such a way to give the fire plenty of room to breathe, a good mixture of slow burning wood and kindling.
She must admit... She's impressed. She never thought in a million years he'd know how to do something like this. Son of the great Leia Organa, raised in privilege, now the galaxy's son of darkness. She'd assumed he spent most of his life being catered to, waited on, provided with every comfort.
"So..." Rey purses her lips. "Where'd you learn to do all this?"
"Do what?" His voice is next to her ear. She can feel his chest resonate when he speaks.
"Build a fire." She nods forward. "Survive in the cold."
"Rey." He grunts. "What do you think I've been doing all my life? Being waited on hand and foot in a dreadnought?" He sounds slightly peeved.
Rey shrugs.
It falls quiet, fire cracking softly.
"Snoke had... creative training methods," he answers finally.
"Like what?" She tilts her head.
"Like abandoning me on a snow planet and coming back a week later to see if I was alive."
"You must be joking." She twists around to look at him.
"Afraid not." His expression is neutral.
She turns ahead, knitting her eyebrows.
"But why?"
"It was part of his training philosophy." He takes deep breath, his chest rising at her back. "In his mind, his role was to try to kill me, and my role was not to die. If I was strong enough to live what he put me through, I was a worthy apprentice."
Silence. A minute passes.
"I'm sorry." Rey looks down.
"Don't be." He shifts a little, scooting back. "It made me into a survivor, stronger than I ever was when I was Ben Solo."
Her shoulders drop. She feels a twist in her heart.
This man used to make her so angry. But the more she learns about him, about his past... the more she just feels... sad.
Several minutes pass, Rey gazing out of the cave opening.
She can't see much. It's dark now, the forest much louder at night. She can hear croaking, the scurrying of animals in the brush. Suddenly, there's a loud crack and a thud.
She jumps a little.
Ben tightens his arms around her.
Rey bites her lip. She hates to admit it but... This feels good. More than just warm. She feels protected. Safe. She's glad he's here.
"Thank you," she says softly. "For all of this. For keeping me alive. If the bond hadn't brought you here..." Her voice trails off.
It's quiet for a moment.
"You're welcome." He leans closer, his lips grazing her ear.
Another minute passes. They both gaze at the fire, crackling gently.
"Do you ever..." She starts hesitantly. "Wonder what the bond is for?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." She presses her lips together. "Do you ever wonder why it exists? Why it's growing? Do you ever think maybe Snoke didn't do this, that maybe it's something else?"
A few seconds pass.
"All the time." Something about the way he says this makes her heart skip a beat.
"Do you remember what I said earlier when you first showed up?" She twists around to look at him. "That you always seem to appear when I'm feeling horrible?"
He nods, glancing down.
"Is it the same for you?"
He squints, considering this
"In a way..." He tilts his head.
She turns back to the fire.
"But why?" She presses. "Why do this? What's the point?"
He doesn't say anything for a minute.
"I think..." He starts slowly. "I think the bond brings us together when we're feeling vulnerable."
"Vulnerable." She repeats the word, knitting her eyebrows. "Why then?" She twists around.
"I don't know, Rey." He says this wearily, like he's tired of thinking about it. "I just... don't know."
She sighs, shifting forward.
It grows quiet.
Vulnerable. She repeats the word in her mind. She mulls it over, thinking about the state she was in when he appeared, the state she's in right now, curled up in the arms of Kylo Ren.
Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the First Order. Tyrant. Destroyer of worlds.
But in this moment... that's not who he is.
Is this it? Is this what the bond is all about? Peeling back layers of the monster, so she can see the man underneath? Why is this something she needs to see?
A wave of exhaustion, strong and heavy, overtakes her.
These questions are too big for her now. Her mind is weak, tired. This problem, the question of the bond... it will have to wait for another day.
She closes her eyes, melting into the warmth around her. She feels his breath, steady and deep, at her back. She concentrates on it, his chest rising and falling in a comforting rhythm. His arms are still wrapped around her, his thumb stroking her ever so slightly.
She lets out a sigh, long and satisfied. She feels herself begin to drift away...
Rey's eyes fly open.
She sits up, startled.
The cave is darker, the fire just a bed of coals, glowing hot and red. She twists around, looking right, then left.
But she knows he's not here. She's still wearing his coat, his waistband tied around her, and she sees his thick gloves discarded to the side.
But he's gone.
She feels colder now, not frozen like before, but... She misses his body heat.
She sighs, struggling against a complicated wave of emotions. She rises to her knees, leaning forward to inspect the coals... She needs to get this fire going again.
She pushes up, making her way to the opening but stops when she gets there. Now that she's closer, she sees it on the right, a pile of firewood. She kneels down and starts selecting pieces of wood, moving them beside her, closer to the pit. As she does, she can't stop from reviewing the day's events, like a holo in her mind.
The boy. The attack. The river. The bond. Him. Giving her his coat. Convincing her to dry off. Helping her collect firewood. Carrying her to safety when she collapsed. Building a fire. Thawing her limbs. Keeping her warm. Making sure she had what she needs to keep the fire going when he left.
She scoffs softly, shaking her head.
Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren.
The monster in the mask. The one who can pluck secrets from unwilling minds. The one who kills to get what he wants.
She knows that's who he is. But the more the bond brings them together, the more she sees him like she did today...
When she looks at him, she doesn't see Kylo Ren anymore.
She just sees Ben.