So the Epilogue's gonna be divided into various sections. One of them is from Asher's POV, just for insight purposes. Others are Jess.
Also, that song so goes with the situation in Jess's hand.
"Amanda, let Christine help you out," I say into my phone, walking hastily out the bookstore located in one of the biggest malls I've ever been to, and trust me, I've been to plenty of them. The bookstore manager claimed that my book was too mature to be categorised as 'young adults'. I had to go over and speak to him, make sure that he doesn't create a big fiasco involving media. Honestly, a few curse words here and there are no longer mature. Even kids use it without actually understanding its meaning.
"But mom! I can do it by myself," she exclaimed, her voice going a notch higher like it always does when she whines.
"Yeah, then you're gonna make tons of mistakes and tear the paper while erasing it," I remind her. "Christine with help you and that's it."
"But she tells me all the answers! She makes me feel dumb," Amanda mutters the last part, not wanting Christine, her nanny, to hear that.
"Honey, you're the smartest kid I know," I say. "But even the best ones need help sometimes."
"I hate nannies," she grumbled. "When will you be back?"
"Twenty minutes," I answer, adjusting my sunglasses with my other hand that is also carrying a Hermes bag. Honestly, I despise sunglasses. Makes everything look dark on the brightest of days.
But hey, no one can deny the fact that it is extremely useful when travelling under an alias.
"Okay mom," she sings into the phone. "Bye."
With those words, she cuts the line before I could reply. I check the text messages while walking as fast as my feet could carry me to the parking lot without making it seem as if I was sprinting.
There was one from Daniel. I click it open.
Can't wait to see you tonight ❤️
A smile stretches across my face and I struggle to keep my excitement within me. His work often forces him to travel and hence, we don't really have many family dinners. But the day he does return is a day we rejoice. We spend as much as time with each other and Amanda as we possibly could before he has to leave again.
My work, that is of a novelist, also offers me to travel around for interviews, meet and greets, the usual. But I reject them all, unless necessary. My daughter will always be my number one priority and I'm not willing to miss out on her childhood.
In midst of typing back a cheesy reply, I felt a finger tap my shoulders.
Fuck. Had someone recognised me? Were they calling the media? This would make the duration of my journey home much longer.
Turning around, I see a face I thought I'd never see again.
Ashford Miller.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I recognised her the second I saw her.
Okay, so maybe not the exact second. Maybe a few seconds later. But even though her face was unclear, everything else about the woman was her.
Yeah, and in the past six years I've found about fifty woman who appeared to be Jess.
What if it's her this time? Like, for real? What would I do then? I had played the scene of us coming face to face about a million times in my head on those nights that sleep refused to come. In each of those, her reaction was different. Because, truth to be told, I didn't know what she'd do. I gave up my opportunity to get to know her to that extent when I left to where I left.
Pushing these doubtful thoughts behind, I trudge forward behind her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder whilst she was texting.
And when she looks back, I see her eyes. Those haunting brown eyes.
Jessica Walkers.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone needs one hero in their life. Their saviour, their idol. For many, it's their mother, father, siblings, uncles, popstars etcetera. I didn't have that opportunity. I didn't have anyone to look up to.
Until I did.
Six years ago, when I read that note that was doubtlessly written by Asher, due to his handwriting and the way he called me muffin, I did something I promised myself I'd never do.
I hurt myself. I cut myself.
And the weirdest part? It didn't hurt. Not as much as being back stabbed by your love, by your father. Not as much as recalling how I did nothing whilst my mother died. Not as much as hurting Cass, hiding everything from her until I was forced to leave.
Sitting in the luxurious bathroom floor, I sobbed, wondering why was I such a screw-up. Why couldn't I be good enough to keep just one person around? Why did everyone I loved leave? Why all such unfortunate events occur in my life?
I don't know how long I sat there, staring at the bloody mess I created.
But I realised one thing. There was no one now. The sixteen-year old Jessica too had no one with her, but she had hope. I, on the other hand, had lost all of it. Nothing pleasing would ever come out of my life as long as I was with him. That man who cared only for his reputation.
I decided to give up my life. Not because I didn't want to live, but because I did. But I could never live my life with Daniel, the monster. Perhaps after death, I may find peace in sorrow. Sorrow that I wasted my life.
I grabbed the razor, hesitating a little for making that one last cut. I gulped, convincing myself it was for the better. For me and for everyone.
But before I could further my thoughts into actions, I heard footsteps and the bathroom door was suddenly opened. I was astonished to find Daniel staring at me with what I thought was concern and panic in his eyes. He saw me holding the razor and I don't know how, but he knew what I planned to do.
"Don't," he whispered, his voice fragile and shaking for the first time. "Please, Jess. Please."
And something in his voice made me stop.
So yes, Daniel saved me from myself when he left. He didn't leave me. He stayed with me, cancelled all his meetings just to be with me. I realised he's more than just another businessman, he's just as much of a human as any other man but was forced to act all confident and rude for the purpose of success. To ensure that nobody could bring him down.
Hence, he's my hero. My only hero.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was him. It really was. Holy shit, it was him. In front of me. Grinning. He still looked at same, just...older. His black hair, which once used to be a mess, was now neatly trimmed. His blue eyes were sparkling, and I don't think it's because of the lights. But it was him. Charming as ever.
Curse you, fate.
When Asher, in that note, wrote years ago that if fate allows us to meet again, he'll explain everything. The reasons of his departure, which still remain unknown to me. Daniel never told me because Asher had told him that he wanted to tell me all of it face to face.
It was some sort of agreement that they had agreed on.
"Jess," his voice trembled. The voice I'd longed to hear for years, hoping he'd tell me that it was all a hoax. That he didn't just leave me alone when I needed him the most.
I was still stunned. Forming a coherent reply was out of my control.
"It's you," he mutters, looking at me in awe. "Holy shit."
It was then I realised that I've been staring at him blankly for the past thirty seconds.
"Mr.Miller," I say in a clipped tone, making sure my voice doesn't tremble when all I wanted to do was to scream and yell at him. Hell, I could even kick him in the nuts right now.
At my words, his grin died when he realised that I wasn't all that cheery to see him again. But he still wasn't backing away.
"Hi," he says, almost breathless. "It's been a while."
Well, no shit. You were the one who left, jerk.
"I wonder why," I answer before I could think it through. Shit, that sounded angry. I don't want him to know how much his sudden departure affected me. I have to act neutral.
But when I saw him wince at my words, I can't ignore that small tinge of happiness I felt.
"Can we talk?" He says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Like properly."
Oh no. I wasn't ready for confrontation right now. I can't face him. Not now. A part of me did want to sit and listen as to why he left, to clear out everything between us. Another was too scared to break down, again.
"I'm afraid I've got some business to attend to," I say, trying to keep everything formal between us. Pretending that he was nothing more than an acquaintance.
But it's hard to lie to yourself.
"Please, Jess," he says. "I-"
"It's Jessica," I interrupt with a gulp. His face falls at my words, but he quickly regains his composure.
Daniel's the only one who can call me that now.
"Jessica," he corrected. "Please. It won't take more than a few minutes, I promise."
He promised to be by my side forever, too. He also promised to call me back. He promised he won't leave me.
I looked away.
"Please," he begs again he sees my lack of response and I can't help but notice the desperation in his voice. "Just one last time. Let me explain, please."
I want to scream at him that there is nothing left to explain and that whatever reason he had for his departure doesn't matter anymore since now I've got my family with me.
But I know I'd be lying to myself again.
Because I realise that facing the truth is something I'd have to do. Not facing it will be something that I'll regret to my grave. He owes me the reason for his disappearance. And as much as I want to storm off right now, I don't because a small part of me will always be desperate to know what was so important that he could leave me for it.
Besides, the truth is like the sun on a fine day. You can shut it out for sometime, but it ain't going away.
"I need to do this, Jessica," he says, looking away almost guiltily. "I'm asking for a few minutes. Just sometime. Please."
"Okay," I mutter, averting my gaze as well.
This is it.
The next part shall reveal why Asher did what he did.