Camila's POV
I couldn't control myself at that moment. I literately exposed every feeling that I had been holding in, for all this time.
Our lips collided vigorously against each other. I felt her run her hands run down to my hips as she settled herself on top of me, straddling me in between her legs. She pushed me down onto the bed, in order to claim full dominance over me. It excited me, holy shit. I snaked my arm around her neck and pulled her further into my mouth. I heard a slight moan from her in response to my dominance. That only made my hunger for her worse. I began to ask for permission to enter, not like I've done it before but like I said I was out of control.
She immediately accepted. Our tongues battles for a while, until she won of course. After her victory, she tasted my mouth. Running her tongue to all corners of my mouth, dominating, and claiming it.
As I began to feel as if I was suffocating, I began to pull away slowly tugging her lip as I departed. Jesus where I did that come from? That sudden rush of confidence...ability... it all seemed to come naturally... because her...I- began to think until I met her gaze.
Her green orbs were dilated and a deeper shade of green. I looked back at her lips as she did the same back, panting excessively. I thought about kissing her again but, I think I'd have an asthma attack if I did. Because believe it or not, this shit took a lot of lung resistance.
As my inner goddess attempted to convince me, my head brought me back into reality. I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. And I sure the fuck was not. At this realization, my hand fell from her neck and my jaw dropped. I then realized the position we had been in and how her front had been straddling mine. This was enough to make me turn crimson.
In response to my flustered ness, Lauren smirked."Not bad Camz..." She then lightly chuckled to herself and murmured, "I knew the innocent ones were the freakiest." She smiled, propping her self off me.
I quickly adjusted my self on her bed. Sitting upright and farther away from her. I didn't know what to say, so I did what I knew how to do most, apologize. "I'm so sorry Lauren, I don't know what came over me."
She quirked a brow then lightly chuckled. " Its okay Camz we were just messing around. No biggie." She shrugged. "It was fun."
Fun? That's it? I felt as if her words had struck my heart with it's sharpe fatal edges. Fun.. It was just fun to you? No biggie? That's it?
I felt my eyes begin to fill up with tears. I'm so stupid of course it would only be fun for her. What was I hoping for? That she would feel the same way back? That she'd realize that maybe we could work out if we tried? God I'm so stupid. I need to get out of here. Before she gets the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Or realizing that this pathetic nerd is in love with her.
"I'm sorry I have to go." I told her, propping myself off her bed. But before I could completely make my way out she grabbed my wrist.
"Hey." She said before she noticed a tear escape my eye. Her face was full with concern now, "What... What's wrong?"
I shook my head. "Nothing I just... I have to go Lauren." I simply told her.
"But you just got here..." She said wiping a tear away with the pad of her thumb. "Come on stay... and please stop crying. I hate watching people cry." She admitted to herself, avoiding my gaze.
I shook my head and turned to look away from her. I hated crying in front of her. Not just because she'd probably get some satisfaction from it, but because she didn't know why I was crying.
"Camz?"
"Just leave me alone." I said pulling my arm away from her grasp. She flared out her nostrils in frustration then suddenly wrapped her arms around me. "Stop crying. Now."
"Lauren?" I breathed in disbelief of her action.
"I hate watching people cry, okay? Plus, I can't let you go home like this. My mom...your mom...they'd ask questions. And I'd probably have to lie because I really have no idea what's wrong with you."
She was right, I had been crying because of her but she didn't know that of course. But I mean, I'd rather have it stay that way, for the sake of whatever this was. Besides, I kissed her. Holy shit, I kissed Lauren Jauregui.
I took a deep breath. Get your shit together Camila. You kissed Lauren Jauregui! Be happy even if it didn't mean anything to her. At least you got too.
I wiped away some of my tears with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry, I...." I said meeting her gaze and trying to formulate my words.
She smiled briefly after she had pulled away from me. Then furrowed her brows in confusion to my words, "Why are you sorry?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know. I guess apologizing is what I know best."
She shook her head. "But, why were you crying though?" She asked furrowing her brows. "Am I that much of a bad kisser?" She joked quirking a brow.
I shook my head lightly then smiled, "No not at all. It's just...it's not you it's me."
She laughed at my cliche explanation. Then her facial expression turned serious, "Wait...you don't actually have a crush on me, do you?"
My eyes widened, "Uh...I-you.. No?" I stammered.
She cocked her brow suspiciously.
"No." I said more firmly. "We were just messing around." I confirmed.
It hurt more actually saying it.
She smiled gently.
"Alright. Good. But...um listen.." She said trying to formulate her words, " let's keep this between us okay? I mean if you don't mind...You... you know why." She said avoiding my eye contact.
I shook my head. "No. I get it."
She exhaled. "Good. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to do it again." She smirked, quirking her brow at the thought.
I felt my cheeks turn red.
"Only if that's okay with you." She said sounding uncertain of my answer.
My breath hitched. OKAY? OKAY? OF COURSE THATS OKAY.
Even through my ecstatic ness, I succeed in maintaing my composure.
I nodded in response to her question. Because God knows if I would open my mouth I would say something stupid and make things weird.
"Great. We could be friends with benefits, but not the friend part though. More benefactors than friends... Clear?"
"Crystal." I said suppressing a smile. Even though I hated the idea of being friends with benefits and not really friends, according to her, Which made no sense, but none the less, I couldn't help but love that I would be able to kiss, touch, and secretly love her. I guess it was all worth it. It's better than just watching her like I used too; Daydreaming, wishing all the time, and lusting over her like a sick puppy. But now...now I didn't have to do those things, well at least not as much as I used too.
There was a short silence. Throughout it though, I wondered why she would choose me. I don't mean to completely down my self confidence but she could have anyone. She was Lauren Jauregui. Everyone wants her and she knows that. So, why would she waste her time with someone like me?
"Why me though?" I asked her.
She scrunched her up her face in thought, "I don't know. You're just interesting. And I've never been with a nerd before and as from what you've shown me, Your pretty damn interesting." She smirked.
I rolled my eyes playfully and shook my head lightly.
She chuckled lightly. "It works though. My charm I mean." She said changing the subject. "You won't be able to resist, especially since your already crushing on me." She said cockily.
"Psh. Please, you wish I'd be interested in someone like you."
"Oh no?" She said leaning into my lips.
I backed away from her. Any closer and I knew where this would end up. She smirked as I backed away from her. Eventually, there was no more space to run away and my legs had hit the edge of her bed, causing me to fall backwards onto it. I closed my eyes momentarily because of the collision. When I had opened them, She was already on the bed, climbing over to me like a wild lion grazing upon a gazelle.
Each slow crawl, was unnerving. She was doing it on purpose to literately get me to faint. When she was hovering over me, my body begin to tremble in excitement and fear. As she leaned into my lips, my face turned red. She stopped momentarily a breath away from my lips, hovering over them teasingly. Her eyes roamed from my lips, to my eyes and to my lips again. I began to hear my heart beat in my ears, fearing that in reality, it was audible.
I closed my eyes in fear. Please don't do this Lauren. I pleaded silently.
She placed her index finger under my chin. "Open your eyes babe, I wanna see them." She breathed against my lips.
I felt my body literally melt under her touch and husky voice.
I opened my eyes wanting to fest my eyes on the beautiful being before me.
She smiled. "Better...You have nice eyes Camila, there like... chocolate brown pools." She said looking deep into them.
My breathing began to get heavier.
"Lauren please sto-" I managed to get out before she closed the gap between our lips. She kissed me slowly and I did back savoring each kiss because I knew that this wouldn't last. I'd probably wake up any second and realize that it was all a dream. It had to be.
It was when I felt her front press against mine when I knew that this was real. Her hands ran feverishly down my shoulders, waist and to my hips. I kept my hands to myself and neutral unsure of where to put them. In response to my submissiveness, one of her hands ran under my the front of my shirt. She knew she could, due to my vulnerability. I didn't care though because her fingers stopped at my abdomin and grazed it gently with the pads of her fingers. I don't know why but I began to feel more confident. My hand found it's way to the back of her neck. There, I began to tug on the hairs on the back of my neck aggressively. Causing her to moan into my mouth in response. Okay. That was hot.
Her touch under my shirt began to burn. It felt like I was literally on fire. Her fingers tensed against my abdomin as she began to kiss me more vigorously. Her lips collided with mine at a faster and rougher pace. And it was actually starting to hurt. Maybe it was because it had been the first time I've actually ever kissed someone, especially like this. I don't know.
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my chest. Signaling that I needed to pull away to relieve the carbon that had been poising my body since our lips met.
When I did, I instantly averted her gaze. Again totally embarrassed of not just my actions but more insecure of myself. She rested her hands on the opposite sides of my head and hovered over me with a pleased smirk.
I blushed at our close proximity and avoided her gaze the best that I could.
"It was your first, wasn't it?" Her husky voice asked.
I furrowed my brows then met her gaze. She looked into my eyes deeply with her dark green eyes.
"My first what?"
"Kiss."
My eyes widened.
"How did you-"
"I can tell. Your lips look seriously sore." She interrupted, touching them with the pad of her thumb.
"Sorry about that." She smirked.
Oh my god. She can't get anymore hot.
She got off me and pushed her hair back. Then laid face first into her pillow. "Why did you come here again?" She mumbled against the pillow.
K, she exceeded that limit, now she's just plain adorable.
I giggled. Did she really not remember?
"To work on our project for Swope?" I said more of a question than an answer.
"Right..." She muttered into the pillow. Then got up and walked over to the far side of her bed room. She grabbed her guitar, a pen and a notebook then brought it over to her bed.
She threw the pen and notebook on her bed, then sat sat down, crossed legged. She adjusted the guitar in her arms then began to gently strum it. I assumed she was checking if it was properly tuned.
"So, do you play?" She suddenly asked.
I nodded my head.
"Cool. You're playing the guitar then." She said handing me it.
"Why? Don't you?"
"Don't I what?" She asked.
"Play the guitar." I asked her cocking my brow.
"Oh yeah, a little but I'm no good. I'm better on the key board." She shrugged.
"Oh. You can't be that bad." I said handing her back the guitar. "Try me."
She smiled slightly. "I suck." She said pushing it back to me.
"Lie." I tried to sound like her.
She noticed and smiled.
"You're good at everything you do." I admitted.
"Not everyone's good at everything Camz. And playing the guitar is my thing." She told me.
"I don't believe you. Not till I see it." I told her.
"How about you? Play for me Ms. knowitall."
I smiled. "Would love to."
I was pretty good at playing the guitar and confident about it. I've played it almost all my life and could do it in my sleep so I could care less if Lauren thought I sucked even though I knew she wouldn't.
I began to strum the guitar. I played the beginning of American by Lana del Rey, just for her.
She smiled and nodded her head to the rhythm of it.
"Oooo oooo ooo ooo." She sang.
Her voice. It was perfect. Of course it was. It was Lauren Jauregui.
It was mature and husky.
"Oooo ooo ooo ooo ooo. Play house , put my favorite record on. Get down." She winked at me.
Jesus lord.
"Get your crystal method on. You're like top ten driving around the city. Flirting with the girls like you're so pretty. Spring steam is the king, don't cha think. I was like hell yeah like I could sing. "Oooo oooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oaaa." She sang so passionately.
I continued to strum the guitar. The next verse was coming up, and it my turn to show off.
"You make me crazy, you make me wiiild. Just like a baby! You spin me round like a chiiild." I sang in.
She didn't sing the next verse. Instead her jaw dropped. I stopped playing immediately.
Did I do something wrong?
"Did I mess up?" I asked confused.
"No. You're voice... You're amazing." She said in complete shock.
"Thanks? but it's nothing compared to yours." I said shrugging and fiddling with my fingers over the strings of the guitar.
"I like the way you reach those notes did you take any classes?" She asked me.
"No." I shook my head.
"Did someone teach you?"
"No I sort of just taught myself." I shrugged.
"Wow. Impressive."
"Uh... thanks. So tell me about yourself." I took a shot in the dark. "I was gonna ask you but...you sort of didn't let me finish..."
She smirked. "Right. Well. I've lived in Miami all my life. I have two siblings. Chris and Taylor, both pain in the necks but good kids. Uh...my Mom she's a doctor and my dad... he's the CEO of a major company. And that's basically it."
"Really? That's it?" I asked thinking her life would be amazing and unlike mine.
"Yeah... why?"
"I don't know, I guess I just expected more. I mean you're you."
She shook her head and laughed heartily. "Is that how you brains view me as? Some type of God or celebrity? What did you expect? That I was the messiah or something?" She joked at the end.
"Sort of. Not so much the god part but you're just so..." I said trying to formulate my words correctly.
"Perfect?"
"Yeah..." I replied.
"Between you and me." She said leaning into me. "I'm not perfect." She winked.
I assumed she was kidding. "Your joking right?"
I saw her slightly blush. "Stop flattering me Cabello." She said punching my arm playfully.
"I'm just saying." I said putting my hands up in defense.
"Alright. Alright. I'd like to hear about your dreams and goals Ms. Valedictorian. I apologize for my past interruption." She smirked.
I chuckled and shook my head lightly. "You're a dork. And well I plan on becoming a doctor, probably major in cardiology in med school, and minor in music."
"Why those things specifically?"
I thought about it for a few seconds. Then took a deep breath. "I guess I want to be a doctor because I love helping people and I love science. So what better way to combine the both? And specifically a cardiologist because my grandpa suffered from a lot of heart problems when I was younger and I saw how much he suffered and it hurt so much to watch him go through it. And I want to help people who suffer from the same thing. Like...like that little boy who just really wants to play baseball but can't because of his condition or the elderly woman who wishes to walk around on her own,to feel the fresh breeze blow in her hair, and let her skin soak in the vitamin D but can't. That's why I want to be a cardiologist." I smiled at the thought, then shook my head. "Sorry I'm blabbering."
"No. Keep going." Lauren encouraged, with a cute smile.
I smiled back. "And I want to major in music... because I love music." I said simply. "It's been there practically all my life and guided me through this crazy thing we call life and I guess I want to do that for other people too."
"Wow. You're a really compassionate person Camz. That's great though, with your brains and determination" She said pointing at my head then my heart. "You'll get there."
I smiled at her words. This is Lauren. The real one. Not the fake Barbie she pretended to be at school. This was the Lauren I knew.
I looked back at her. "What about you Ms.Popular?"
She giggled at my attempt to copy her. "Hmm, I guess if I had to choose a boring but dependable career it would be maybe in medicine or business. That's if I had to choose though. I'd rather major in music. Maybe a writer or a producer...something. I don't know. I just really like to write songs and I love to mix and mash up the melodies in songs to create something even better than the original. " She explained, her eyes almost glowing when she mentioned music.
"Do you have a cd?" I asked her.
She jumped in surprise " And what makes you think I have one?"
"Every song writer with a laptop,instruments, and passion has one." I said pointing at her cd rack. "Not to mention you said you like to dj."
She cocked her brow and smiled. "I'd prefer the term musical engineer and I'm impressed by your observant skills."
"Let me hear it."
"Hear what?"
"Your music." I told her in a duh tone.
"Hell no."
"Why not?"
"I've never shown anyone my music let alone told anyone. I don't even know why I told you." She said shaking her head lightly at the ground. "Probably because I admired your determination and compassion, but hey sue me." She said shrugging her shoulders.
Admired? Me? Told only me?
"Wait you trust me?" I asked her because I couldn't believe that I was the only persons she's told.
"No. That would mean developing a friendship. I think you're a person capable of keeping things because your very being seems as if you get how important this information is to me. And you know that I would kill you if you said anything, so yeah." She shrugged.
I laughed at her response. I held my stomach because it began to hurt. I was literately too done with her.
"Why are you laughing?"
I got my self together. "Because you do realize that you just restated the definition of trust in your own words, right?"
She smiled slightly. "Yeah I know. I just thought that you wouldn't notice."
"That's the thing about hanging around a brain. You won't prove us wrong unless you're truly factual. And we'll prove you wrong with everything we know." I informed her.
"Great my fuck buddy is going to prove me wrong every five minutes." She smirked and shook her head lightly.
"Your what?" I asked her concerned.
"I'm kidding Camila. You and I both know your not...capable of such things yet." She said emphasizing the yet.
I gulped. I mean I wouldn't want anything more than to be with Lauren, even in that way but not if it wasn't through love. I'm a hopeless romantic. So I'd never allow anyone to disrespect me like that unless I knew for a fact that they loved me back. Even if it was Lauren and her charm...
"Chill, Camz I was just messing with you."
I sighed. "Thank god."
"Would it really be that bad though?" She suddenly asked me.
"No. No." I said putting my hands up. " I just barley got my first kiss today and sex is something else a bit more personal and meaningful."
She nodded understandably. "Gotcha." She chuckled to her self then said " It's cute that you still think that."
She doesn't? Why?....Then I got it.
"Lauren have you ever been in love?" I asked her.
Her eyes widened at my question. Then her lips formed into a hard line. " Eww No?"
"Ever been in a relationship?"
"Yeah but nothing serious."
"Ever been committed in them?"
"Well no but-"
I nodded understandingly. "See that's why you think that way. If you've never experienced love then how could you possibly accept or reject it?"
She thought about it for a few seconds. Then her green orbs met my brown ones. "I don't know Camila I'm not a philosopher..."
And... that was her way of dodging my question.
I smiled slightly. "Okay then," I paused trying to change the subject "That song ain't gonna write itself."
"Indeed it is not." She said picking up her note book and opening it.
That's her song book I bet. I looked at it for a few seconds but decided not to ask. For the well being of our acquaintanceship.
My phone rang unexpectedly. I answered it. "Hello?"
"Mija, it's almost time for your bed time are you almost finished up over there?"
"Um yeah. I'll be right over."
I hung up.
I looked back at Lauren. "My Mom needs help in the kitchen..."
She laughed heartily. " Liar. I heard what your mom said."
"Uhh." I began to say.
"You have a bed time... That's cute. " She half smiled.
I blushed.
"This is embarrassing." I said face palming myself, then, uncertain of how I should depart, I made up my mind and began to make my way out without saying a word.
"Camz?" She said from her bed.
I stopped in my tracks.
"You don't have to lie about who you are, I know you, you're practically an open book. So... don't try so hard."
And this is why I am in love with you. I wanted to say but held myself back. After a few seconds of regaining my composure, I turned around and smiled slightly. "Thanks Lauren. See you-" I paused because I didn't know when we would see each other again.
"Tomorrow, at your place. Same time." She finished off for me.
"Okay cool." I said turning on my heal then opened her door.
"And Cabello..."
I turned my head meet her gaze. "Yeah?"
"Don't change anything in your room. You don't have to impress me."
I scoffed and chocked on my own saliva again. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THESE THINGS?!
"Okay." I managed to say.
"Night." She said, then blew me a kiss.
My face turned red. "Night." I said exiting the room as fast as I could.
Once I made my way out of her house completely, I stood on her front porch smiling like an idiot. I couldn't believe everything that happened today. It might of not been perfect emotionally but physically all my dreams have come true.
I need to tell someone! Dinah? No she'll hit me up side the head. Mani? Ally? No they'll think I'm crazy. Darren? He'll understand, but he thinks she's messing with my head. God, if this goes on and my friends find out they'll kill me. But...that won't necessarily happen if they don't find out... Right?