-Stella Hart-
"Stell?"
Lily's voice brought me out of my daze and back into our cosy dorm room where I was sitting on my bed, my hands stilled holding my jumper as if I temporarily forgot how to put it on.
"Hmmm?" I hummed, pulling it over my head and looking over at her. She was leaning against her bedpost, arms folded, green eyes laced with concern.
"What's going on in there?" She asked, tapping her forehead.
I hesitated before smiling.
"Nothing much really." I got up and crossed over to the full length ornate mirror leaning up against the wall, brushing a hand through my sleep tossled curls.
"liar." Lily accused and I let out a laugh that sounded more nervous than anything.
"Okay maybe a tad more than nothing much." I relinquished but before Lily's eyes could get sad and make me feel sad I let my words rush ahead.
"But I'm okay." I promised giving her a small smile as proof. "I'm still me, I'm not a hollow shell of a person so I will take whatever comes with it. What's a little anxious mind wandering next to trying to kill my friends?"
I laughed but the sadness in her eyes that I was trying to avoid crept in and she could manage a half smile.
"Lily..." I sighed crossing the room and reaching for her, skimming my hands over her arms.
"I'm okay, really." I insisted and the sadness melted away as she nodded. Her eyes instead took on a mischievious glint.
"I suppose your midnight rendezvous with Sirius helped." She suggested sweetly and my mouth fell open in surprise.
Lily laughed.
"You think you can hide anything from me? I know you far too well. Steamy make out sesh though wowee I thought you two were going to bonk right there on the roof."
I squealed and shoved her as she dissolved into a fit of laughter.
I moved back over to my bed where I slipped on my robes over top of my jumped, the December air making an early appearance in November when Lily spoke again.
"Stella?" There was a change in her voice that made my head snap up and over to wear she stood, eyes careful, hands clutched nervously.
"Yeah?" I asked slowly.
"Have you? Um, I mean have you and Sirius," She bent her head closer to me and whispered, "done it?"
There was a moment where her question simply hung in the air. Lily and I had spent way too many nights staying up late talking about James and Sirius and everything in between but we had never talked about... that.
"Have you?" I turned the question back on her.
"I asked you first."
"Well now I'm asking you."
"You can't answer a question with a question."
"Well I just did."
"Say it together?"
"...okay."
"On three."
"1"
"2"
"No!" We both yelled together, then we were laughing a squealing collapsing on my bed together.
"Thank god, now we can figure this shit out together." Lily cried and I laughed.
"I know because I'm pretty sure Sirius is not a virgin and I think he might think I'm not either but jokes on him because I'm the biggest virgin ever." I rambled as we lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling.
"I know kissing is one thing but fucking hell I am not prepared." Lily stated and we dissolved into laughter once again.
"What are you guys doing?"
We jerked up at the sound of Mary's voice to see her standing in the doorway.
"Nothing?" Lily replied but it sounded like more of a question.
"Well get your asses down the stairs, the boys are getting pissy that you're going to be late for breakfast." She ordered and we jumped up exchanging a stifled smile with each other.
Once we got down the stairs and into the common room we headed over to the boys who were standing impatiently by the door.
"Merlin, how long does it take for you two to get ready?" Remus huffed but he was smiling.
James catapaulted over and enveloped Lily in a cuddle and even though she groaned and pushed him off, she smiled and put her hand into his.
When my gaze fell upon Sirius, my chest warmed when I saw that he was looking at me too.
"C'mon boys." I sang, marching ahead just to piss Remus off even more.
We were late for breakfast but no one was sitting in our usual spot, they wouldn't dare. When Sirius slipped in beside me, I finally leaned in and mumbled "g'mornin" against his cheek and when I pulled away I could swear he was blushing.
Under the table he reached across and put a steady hand on my thigh and then it was my turn to blush.
"So I had an idea." James spoke up, his mouth half full of scrambled egg.
"Oh no." Lily groaned and James bumped her shoulder against his.
"Shut up Evans and hear me out."
He got very serious then and this is James Potter we're talking about here, it's not everyday his smile fades and his warm brown eyes grow somber.
"It's about Voldemort's prophercey." He stated and it was as if he had cast a spell over all of us and we all became very serious. No one said a word, but anticipation burned in the pit of my stomach.
"Well, I suppose it's more about our prophercies." He corrected and curiosity added too my anticipation.
"What are you talking about, James?" I finally spoke up and his eyes met mine.
"All this time we've been in the dark, at a disadvantage not knowing what's coming or when it's coming or why it's coming and we can't go on like that. Not anymore. Not when everytime it gets worse."
He took a deep breath in.
"So I started thinking, if Voldemort has a prophercey and we're in it then we probably have our own prophercies? About how we fit into his story and how it's going to end? And just the thought of that makes me want to get on the first train to London. To know."
I couldn't breathe.
It was a possibility. We hadn't had a possibility in a long time and the thought made me fizz with excitement. It made me dizzy with hope.
"We can't." It was Sirius who spoke, startling me. James opened his mouth to retaliate but he charged ahead.
"You're probably right, Prongs. There's probably six shiny prophecies sitting in in the Department of Mysteries waiting for us. And he'll be counting on it. Why else would he send us his if he didn't want us to come and get ours! It's a trap." By the time he was finished, his breathing was ragged and his eyes wild. At some point he had taken his hand off my leg. I felt cold.
"We've got to do it anyway." I spoke up, my voice quiet but determined.
"What?" Sirius exclaimed, his grey eyes searching my face desperately for an answer.
"You're right," I told him, "It's Voldemort so there's no way this isn't going to be a trap."
I looked at James.
"But you're right too. We can't stay in the dark, we'll lose. We need to know what we're up against and our prophecies will give us a clue, an edge, maybe a way to beat him."
"None of that will matter if we're dead because we would've just walked into a trap!" Sirius argued, looking round at the others for support but they were silent.
"We can come up with a plan, we can get in and out in a way he won't be expecting." James spoke up, his voice saturated in hope, his eyes alight with excitement. I nodded.
"He'll think we're going to charge in immediately once we've figured it out but if we wait until after New Years he may not be expecting it." I added and then Sirius proceeded to lose his shit.
"Tell me you're not going to do this. Tell me you're not even fucking considering this!" He roared slamming his hands down on the table, causing the plates to clatter and the glasses to wobble and chink
He turned his gaze to mine, a mixture of disbelief and fear clouding his silvery eyes.
"You of all people want to go right back to him?" He said quietly.
That's when I proceeded to lose my shit.
"Don't you dare," I growled, clenching my hands into tight fists that made my knuckles turn white, "don't you dare say that like I've forgotten everything that happened last year, like I don't lay awake at night saying their names over and over again. Regan, Jane, Fox, Conner. He made me kill them and who knows what he'll do next. What if he gets into your head next, makes you kill some innocent stranger, or Peter, or Remus, or Lily, or James? What then huh?"
It was my turn to be wild, getting right up into Sirius' face. We were lucky that we'd been so late to breakfast since the Dining Hall was mostly empty and no one was around to hear my ugly words.
"The prophecies may be our only chance at finding our place in this, at knowing what we're up against, at knowing what's coming. So don't piss on the only hope we have just because you've given up yours."
Sirius jumped to his feet, our close proximity causing me to rise with him.
"Given up? Stella are you kidding me? I haven't given up hope, you ARE my hope and I've already lost you once so forgive me for not wanting to lose you again."
His words tore at my heart but I was too angry and the situation was too dire.
"Fucking hell Sirius, don't do that. This is bigger than you and me, don't you get that? This is all of us. This is your friends lives, their futures. Stop being so selfish you know this is our best chance!" I fought back.
"Guys..." Remus tried but Sirius' voice was louder.
"I just got you back. If it makes me selfish for wanting you to stay then fine, I'll be selfish."
"You're impossible!" I growled, infuriated. Shoving him I took off, bolting out the hall and down the corridor.
"Stella! Stella wait!"
I had half expected Sirius to come after me but instead it was Lily running toward me, toast crumbs still on her cheek. I came to a stop, raking a hand through my already tossled curls.
"That was... Stella that was woah." Lily struggled for the words.
"I love him." I cried, my cheeks hot and my eyes wet.
"I love him so fucking much but I hate him!" I groaned feeling like I wanted to throw myself into my bed and never get up again.
"No you don't." Lily sighed, but even though I heard her I wasn't listening.
"How does he not see that this is our only chance? Our only chance! This needs to be over, it has to be over because I can't take it anymore!" I cried.
"I have to know what's coming for me and this is the only way."
"I know, Stell. And he knows too. He just wants you to protect you, to keep you safe." Lily insisted.
My chest felt tight and my cheeks were wet and my hands wouldn't stop shaking.
"If he wants to keep me safe, then the Department of Mysteries is the only way."
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AUTHORS NOTE
Let's pretend it hasn't been ages since I've updated (yikes) and just carry on as normal.
Hellooooo it's me back at it with the angsty chapters!! What do you think? Where do you think their stor will end up? What their prophercies will say? Let me know :)
Don't forget to vote!!
*loves*
-J xx