You were sitting on the floor of your room, your eyes closed. You were trying to meditate, but you just felt kind of lost. The concept of time really faded in space. It felt like the days were either really long or really short. There seemed to be no middle ground.
You should have cleared your mind for meditating, but you just kept going through your emotions. You couldn't deny you had feelings for Keith, you just weren't sure if you wanted those feelings. You didn't ask for them, but you still couldn't deny them. You tried to take a deep breath to get rid of those thoughts. You were there to be a Paladin, not to start a relationship. But those feelings... Shit, your thoughts started running in circles.
You took a deep breath and mentally slapped yourself. You needed to concentrate, otherwise there wouldn't be any benefits from meditating. And you really tried your best to clear all the thoughts from your mind and concentrate. But just when you had gotten to a certain blank space, you heard Coran's voice on the speakers. "Paladins. Meet me in the control room." He said. But you decided to ignore it for now and try to finish you meditation first.
Then after you were done, you made your way to the control room. And as you entered it, you noticed that you were of course the last one to arrive. "Morning." You said to everyone. And most of them replied. Except Keith, who was standing a little further away with his arms crossed. He didn't even look at you when you came in.
"Good morning. You were in no rush." Coran said while twirling his moustache. "Sorry. I just wanted to finish my meditation first." You kind of brushed him off as you walked to the others. "Lucky for you that it wasn't an emergency." Coran squinted his eyes as he looked at you sharply. "If it would have been an emergency, you wouldn't have been so calm when asking us here." You glared back at him. And Coran was silent for a moment before answering. "Well observed number 5."
"Why did you want us here? Where is Allura?" Shiro asked. Then Coran walked to the center of the room. "The Princess is resting. She will have to gain her strength back after the rejuvenating ceremony." Coran explained calmly as he opened up the holographic screens.
"Does this mean we have a day off?" Lance asked hopefully. "Oh man, I'm going to bake a cake!" Hunk said excited. "I don't think there are any flour here." Pidge pointed out to Hunk, whose excitement immediately cooled down.
But Coran looked at you all, shaking his head slowly. "Oh no, my dear Paladins. I have something else planned for you today." He said with a weird smirk on his face. And you immediately felt worried of what he had in store for you.
Just then Keith's voice was heard from behind you. "What is it?" He just bluntly asked. And you glanced at him. He seemed to be slightly withdrawn from the others. And you wondered if something was wrong.
"This is the Karthulian system. It holds the ancient training grounds of the original Paladins." Coran stated proudly as some images of a strange planet appeared on the holographic screen. "So, we're going training?" You asked unsure. "Oh yes. You certainly are." Coran replied smiling. "The planets there have a variety of extreme natural environments and trial temples, to test your skills and to help you bond with your Lions more." He still added.
"I'd rather have a day off." Lance whined. And immediately Coran turned to him, seemingly peeved. "The original Paladins fought thousands of battles, and they were working together like one unit. Unlike you. And you don't have much time, so you have to train, train and train. It takes time to fully control Voltron. And since we are against Zarkon, you are going to need all the training you can get." He explained very seriously. And Lance looked at him a bit baffled by his outburst. Then lifted his hands up in the air. "Fine. Fine."
"I hate to say it, but Coran is right." Shiro stated with his arms crossed and a thoughtful expression on his face. "Shouldn't it be more efficient to fight Galra and get real training?" Keith asked sounding a bit annoyed. "The training grounds hold the keys for you to better yourself as Paladins. You will be tested both mentally and physically." Coran still tried to convince you all.
"There's not really much time to plan anything with the Galra. We usually just struggle." You said honestly. And it was true. You usually were struggling until you found a way to beat them. You didn't really plan for anything. But then Keith's rude tone interrupted you. "Speak for yourself, I'm doing fine." He just bluntly stated. And you felt like your heart sank to your stomach. You felt somewhat taken aback. Just as you were about to accept your feelings for him, he started acting rudely.
"Keith. We're a team. We're all struggling." Shiro said to him with a firm tone. And just then Keith glanced at you, seeing your disappointed expression. He seemed to flinch a bit, reacting to how you were looking at him, before averting his gaze quickly. "I didn't mean it like that..." He said his voice a bit timid. But it was too late. "No, it's fine." You answered him with a cold tone. And he seemed to clench his arms even more tighter to his chest.
"Paladins, we will arrive to the Karthulian system in few Vargas. Be ready at your Lions by then." Coran said, interrupting all conversation. And that's when everyone started to make their way out of the control room. Except you. And while the others were leaving, you still glanced at Keith who was walking out seemingly glum.
"Coran. Could I go see Allura?" You asked him when the others had left. You wanted to go see Allura, to make sure she was alright and maybe cheer her up. Even though you weren't feeling that good yourself at the moment. But you knew she wasn't good at staying still, so a day in bed might be agony to her. "Of course. Just don't take too long. She needs her rest." Coran gave you a permission. And then you left the control room too.
Soon you knocked on Allura's door. "Come in." Her faint voice was heard from inside the room. And you opened the door. You had never been in her room before. And it was much larger than yours. But hey, she was the Princess, you were just Paladins.
As you entered the room, you saw Allura on the bed, under the sheets, her mice fast asleep on her pillow. She looked pretty tired, but still gave you a small smile. "How are you feeling?" You asked her while walking next to the bed.
"I'm fine, just tired. The ceremony is not usually that demanding, but the Balmera was in such a bad shape." She explained as you sat on the edge of her bed. And you knew that she had done so much for the Balmera. With the help of the castle and the Balmerans, she really did revive a whole living planet. What strength she possessed.
But then Allura suddenly turned the question on you. "How are you?" She suddenly asked. And you looked at her puzzled. Did it seem like something was bothering you? "No, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." You tried to smile, not wanting her to question you. "(Y/N), you are a part of the team. Of course I worry about you." Allura still added.
"Well, there has been something on my mind lately. But it's nothing for you to worry about." You laughed a bit nervously. And she looked at you, her smile soft. And suddenly it felt like she could see through you. Suddenly you felt bare.
"So, Coran is sending us to the training grounds." You tried changing the subject as you didn't want the attention on you. "I know. You need the training." Allura said, still smiling. "I know we do. I feel like I'm still trying to find my place in the group." You confessed to her without thinking.
"What do you mean?" Allura suddenly looked at you curiously. "I feel like I'm not much help when we have formed Voltron. Everyone has these power ups, and I'm the only one who can't pretty much function in where I am." You started to explain. But when you saw Allura looking at you with sympathy in her eyes, you suddenly felt like you had said something wrong and tried to correct it. "I just mean that I'm not sure yet what part do I play in all of this." You tried to smile, but ended up just sighing.
"(Y/N), it's not my place to tell you where you belong. But the Amber Lion is capable of boosting everyone else up. It is the heart of Voltron. And the heart is the one who keeps giving energy to the others. Just like real heart is pumping blood." She explained, looking straight in your eyes. And you looked at her a bit baffled.
"The Amber Lion is the energy source of Voltron. And I know you will realise it when it's time. So don't worry (Y/N), you will find your place. After all, your Lion did choose you." She still continued, placing her hand on yours, reassuring you.
You looked at her silently for a moment. Then you started to laugh. "I thought that I'd come here to cheer you up, but it ended the other way around. Thank you Allura. I guess I'll just have to stop questioning myself." You still said as you put your hand on top of hers. You knew you had to start trusting yourself. If you wouldn't, who would?
Then you stood up and let go of her hand. "Well, I better let you rest." You said as you started making your way out of the room. "Good luck on the training grounds. And don't worry, everything will turn out right." She still said after you.
As you were walking to the lounge area, you were feeling at least a bit better. And as you entered the room, you saw Lance, Hunk and Keith sitting and relaxing there. "How was she?" Hunk immediately asked, seemingly worried. He was such a kind soul, of course he was worried.
"She will be better soon." You smiled to him as you went to sit on the bench. "Well she's a tough cookie. Which reminds me, I really want a cookie." Hunk said before getting lost in his culinary fantasies. Then you realised that Keith was just looking down at the ground, like he was trying to purposely ignore you. And you let out a sigh. You tried your best to act cheerful, but that day it was just so hard.
Suddenly Lance leaned closer to you. "You are as sweet as a cookie, and I would like to take a bite of you." He said while wriggling his eyebrows at you. And you looked at him with wide eyes. You saw that he was joking again. He seemed to always know when you were feeling down so he probably wanted to cheer you up. And he succeeded. You laughed. "Shut up Lance."
"That's what you say, but your body says different." Lance leaned even more close. And you laughed more. "You're such an idiot." You playfully slapped his arm. Again he made you feel better. He was just so much fun to be around with. He had quickly became a good friend to you.
"Well, I'm an idiot for you." He continued while widely smirking. "You certainly are." You answered him and couldn't help but squeeze his cheek. Until you heard Keith's irritated voice cutting you off. "He's just generally an idiot." Keith said while glaring at you two with a piercing stare. His arms were tightly crossed over his chest.
Lance frowned and was about to say something back when Hunk interrupted him. And you were relieved for that. "What do you think the training grounds will be like?" Hunk asked, trying to change the subject. "I have no idea. Probably something challenging, but good for practice." You answered him, trying to forget about the sudden tension in the room.
But Hunk's distraction didn't work. "Pfffft, practice is for suckers." Lance stated while smirking towards Keith, who immediately picked up on Lance's insinuations. "I practice because I want to get better. What's wrong with that?" He snapped back at Lance. "No, nothing. Nothing at all." Lance said sarcastically while winking at you. And you couldn't help but smile, even though you knew he was just trying to irritate Keith.
And it seemed to work. Keith was clearly getting irritated. "Well if you would concentrate on the right things, you wouldn't get your Lion stolen." He bluntly stated, glaring at Lance, who was shocked of what Keith said. And Lance crossed his arms as he snapped back. "Of course you hit below the belt. So you, Keith."
But you looked at Keith disappointed. He had broken the promise he made to you. And something started to feel unnerving in the pit of your stomach. And you let out a deep sigh. That day was turning to a nightmare already, and you weren't even in the training grounds yet.
"Keith, you promised you wouldn't say anything..." You said to him while frowning sadly. And Keith glanced your way, seeing the disappointed expression on you. Then he immediately averted his gaze, his frown deepening. It seemed like he was clenching his fists tightly. "What promise!?" Lance interrupted you.
"I made him promise not to say anything about your Lion." You said to Lance, feeling slightly guilty. "What, why!?" He demanded an answer. "I knew you were ashamed of that." You tried explaining to him. But he immediately got up. "(Y/N), but that is all we have, you know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck. I can stand up for myself!" He glared at you angrily.
Then Keith stood up. "Don't yell at her. She was just trying to protect you from more embarrassment!" He raised his voice, glaring at Lance. "Well if you weren't such a wuss, you wouldn't have obeyed her." Lance made a comeback. And then you stood up. "Please, stop it. I'm sorry, I just wanted you to forget about it." You tried intervening. And Hunk was just speechless, looking at the events unfolding in front of him.
"Why are you apologising? He's a jerk." Keith turned to look at you angrily. Then Lance first looked at you, then Keith. "Let her apologise if she wants to. You don't control her!" He raised his voice more. And soon they were glaring at each other again. "Neither do you!" Keith just yelled frustrated. Then he lifted his hands in the air. "I've had it." He said before he stormed out of the room.
Everyone was left silent as he stormed out. You didn't know what to say. "That mullet head is such a jerk." Lance finally said as he sat down again, his arms crossed. And you let out a deep sigh. That day was getting worse and worse. You were feeling lousy and somewhat sad.
"He was acting kind of strange." Hunk said with a calm voice as he turned to look at you. "What, stranger than usual? I don't think so." Lance commented while pouting. "I better go see that he's okay." You said as you started to make your way out of the room. And you felt somewhat relieved to leave. You didn't even want to be around Lance when he was angry. You thought you had done the right thing, but maybe you shouldn't even try, if it just lead to someone getting hurt.
You walked towards the training deck somewhat hesitantly. You were pretty certain that he would be there. And you had to go see that he was alright. You knew Keith and Lance were always on each other's backs, but it usually wasn't that bad. Something was wrong.
You opened the door to the training deck and saw Keith fighting the gladiator. You had been right. Keith saw you coming in, but didn't even react. He just slashed the gladiator harshly. It looked like he was relieving his anger towards it. He just slashed it with so much aggression. Poor thing.
You sat on the bench feeling somewhat tense. You decided to wait for him to finish the gladiator. You waited so you could make sure that he was alright. You would have done the same for every one of your teammates. Not just Keith.
And soon Keith crushed the gladiator. Then he took a couple of breaths, but didn't show any sign of even paying attention to you. He didn't even look towards you, like he didn't want to see you. So you stood up. "Keith. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to know that you're okay." You said to him a bit timidly.
It took him a moment to answer, and when he did, you could hear that he was irritated. "Yes, why wouldn't I?" He just bluntly said, still not looking at you. And then he got ready for another fight. "Start training sequence level 3." He said as another gladiator appeared. "You just stormed out of the room..." You tried saying but Keith wasn't listening. Instead he started charging towards the gladiator.
"Keith?" You still tried, but he just ignored you. He was so stubborn. And it started to get to you. "Fine, see if I care!" You raised your voice as you yelled at him. You started to feel anxious, probably more because you knew you liked him and he totally ignored you. "You don't have to. Just let me train!" Keith yelled back at you through his fighting.
Then you started to get really angry. You just wanted to know if he was alright and he practically spit in your face. It irritated you so much that he was so hard to read. You didn't know what to think with him sometimes. It felt like your thoughts were a muddy mess. How did he do that to you, just by not talking. It made you so confused.
"Well fine, I won't care! If you don't care, why should I!?" You couldn't help yourself from yelling back at him. And you mentally slapped yourself for the lousy response. "No, I don't care! So leave!" Keith yelled back with an anxious voice while evading the gladiator. "Fine, I'll let you dwell on your misery alone!" You still yelled and started to leave the room. You were so frustrated. And that's when you heard the gladiator crashing down.
"What's wrong with you!?" You heard Keith's anxious voice from behind you. You turned back around, baffled by his question, and saw that he was approaching you seemingly agitated. And you had to say something back. "No, what's wrong with you!? I just wanted to see if you're alright! How rude can you be!?" You stopped as you glared at him angrily.
"I don't need a parent watching over me!" He just yelled rudely. "What the hell Keith!? I really don't want to parent you! I just wanted to see if you were alright! What's wrong with you!?" You still said, your voice almost cracking from all the frustration you had, for the situation and for your own feelings. Then you had enough. You didn't want to be there anymore.
You were about to turn around and leave, when suddenly Keith took a hold of your arm and turned you back. He pushed you against the wall and stopped you from leaving by placing his hands on both sides. You startled a bit as it was so unexpected. You didn't know how to react.
Then he almost yelled at you. "What's wrong with me!? (Y/N), I like you...a lot! That's what's wrong with me! I don't even know how to act around you! And I'm not like Lance..." He said while turning his head down, swallowing the rest of his words. And you were staring at him with wide eyes. You were frozen as time seemed to slow down. Your heart started to beat fast. You were speechless. Did you just hear him right?
Then Keith continued with suffocated anxiety. "And it pisses me off every time Lance flirts with you..." He seemed like he was almost crumbling down. "And...I just don't know what to do..." He still added, his voice almost a muffled whisper. And you couldn't say anything. You were just speechless.
Then Keith took his hands away, but didn't look at you. He held his head low, not to see your eyes. Then he took a deep breath. Suddenly it seemed like he had cooled down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He said, his voice somewhat sad as he turned around and started to leave.
You were still baffled about what had happened, so you didn't know what to say. But you quickly took a hold of his wrist so he couldn't leave. And he stopped. He was like beaten, even though you hadn't said anything. And as you held his wrist, you felt that his pulse was fast. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything." Keith said while trying to pull his hand away. But you wouldn't let him.
You knew you had to say something. You couldn't just let him leave like that. Your heart was racing and it felt like you had a massive lump in your throat as you tried to speak. "Keith." You said his name quietly. He turned his head slightly when hearing his name, but still didn't look at you.
Your voice was muffled, but audible as you spoke to him. "I like you too, a lot." There, you said it. Now he knew. It was out in the open. And you almost gasped of the feeling that filled you. It was a mix of relief and anxiety. At the same time it felt so frightening, but also so good to say it aloud.
Keith's reaction was slow, which was unusual for him. But when he realised what you had just said, he lifted his head and turned to look at you amazed. You looked back at him, and gave him a faint smile. Just so small, that if someone would have been further away, they wouldn't have seen it. "You do?" Keith asked you shocked. And you nodded.
Then you stood there, looking at each other, not really knowing how to react to what you had both just confessed. He seemed a bit hesitant, but then he came closer to you. Very carefully. He came so close you could feel his breath. Then he slowly lifted your chin up to see if you would back away. But of course you didn't.
Then he carefully placed his lips on yours. And you quickly responded to that kiss, not even hesitating. And what a rush of blood went through your head. It was such a high. And soon the kiss deepened. Keith wrapped his arms around you and you wrapped yours around him. You couldn't think of anything else in that moment.
Then after a moment you backed away, a bit hesitant. You were both breathing more heavily as you were slightly dumbfounded of what just happened.
You looked at him slightly baffled, not really knowing what to think. But then he gave you a confused but genuine smile. God, he was gorgeous when he smiled. He always looked so happy. And you wanted him to smile more often. You wanted to make him smile more often.
But just as you were thinking that, suddenly everything started to feel so overwhelming. Your mind just went numb. You felt too flustered of everything you were feeling at the moment. And you had to back away from him.
"Sorry, I...I better go. I need to get ready for our departure." You hesitantly said to Keith as you tried backing away from him. You saw his puzzled expression and averted your gaze. And you felt that he didn't want to let you go, but you broke free. And you immediately made your way out of the training deck. "(Y/N)?" You just heard him say after you.
You rushed quickly to your room and sat down on the bed. You felt so baffled. What the hell just happened? You covered your face with your hands as so many thoughts went through your head at the same time. And you couldn't grasp any of those thoughts.
You felt like all the old, already buried emotions started to surface. You had been in a relationship before, and it had went awfully wrong. Did you really want another? Why would this be better than before?
You had liked boys, and you even thought that you had been in love once, but none of them made your mind this confused. None of them made you feel like you felt in that moment. There was just something so right, but at the same time something so frightening. What if you would allow yourself to feel again?
You let yourself fall down on the bed. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. You couldn't deny the feelings you had for him. Not now when you had said them aloud. Why did that had to happen now? How could you be near him now, when you didn't even know what to think. Your mind was muddy as hell and it made you so confused.
Then you realised that you had to start heading to your Lion. Soon you would be near the training grounds. And you let out an irritated sigh. You'd rather stay in your room than to see the others. You just wanted to be alone.
But still, you were a Paladin. You had to go. After a couple of deep breaths to calm you down, you got up and started to change into your armour. And when you were done, you looked at yourself. You were so conflicted. At the same time you felt immense happiness and fear. You were a mess.
You sighed, and headed out of your room. What ever had happened, you still had training to do.
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(A/N) Ooooooh! <3 I took the idea for the Karthulian system and the ancient training grounds from Voltron comics, though it will not be the same content as in them. And again, thank you for reading! <3