One day, near the end of June, Sam calls me on my cell during therapy, which is surprises me because she should be at work during this time of day. Thinking it might be some kind of emergency, I answer the call, which I wouldn't normally do during an appointment.
"Sarah!" My best friend practically shouts. "I'm glad you answered. Can you come to Philly for the 4th of July? I have two vacation days and the 4th is on Saturday so I'll have a long weekend to show you around and since it's Philadelphia, they really have a big celebration here, and-"
I have to cut her off because I feel like I'm being rude to Fern, who is waiting patiently for me to finish up my call. "Sam, I'll have to call you back, okay? I'm in the middle of an appointment. I will call as soon as I'm done, I promise."
"Okay, love you!" she squeal. I realize that she must really miss me and I feel a little twinge of guilt because I actually haven't missed her as much as I thought I would. I've been spending most of my free time with Ethan, at least when he isn't working. Still, I'll be damned if I'm going to tell her she was right all along.
As soon as Fern is done with my session, Ethan walks in. "So I hear we're going to Philly for Independence Day?"
"We?" I look at him quizzically.
"Yeah, Sam just called and invited me. She said she thought you could still use some help on and off the train and making your way around."
"Oh, I bet she did," I smirk. Neither one of us is fooled anymore. We know she has a very clear ulterior motive. I simply shrug and say, "Sounds like fun."
The second of July arrives before I know it. I've just finished packing my bags. I have to admit that the idea of having Ethan accompany me excites me more than I want anyone to know. I hear the doorbell, followed by my parents boisterously greeting Ethan. They have really grown fond of him. Not only did he save my life, but he is an all-around great guy. I'm sure they are wondering if and when our relationship will progress, too, but I'm glad they haven't been pressuring me.
I hobble out of my room, trying to drag my suitcase along behind me. I haven't mastered the art of walking with my prosthetic leg, let alone trying to carry heavy luggage. My father rushes over and grabs the case with a chivalrous, "Here, let me get that!"
"Are you sure you guys are okay with this?" I ask my parents. "I'm going off to Philadelphia for the weekend. With a boy!"
I know I'm a grown up, but I still value my parents' input highly. My dad smiles, "Ethan will take good care of you." And then he adds, loud enough for Ethan to hear as he reappears in the doorway, "We trust Ethan to take care of you."
"Absolutely, sir," Ethan smiles, his blue eyes twinkling. He holds his hand out to me, "Are you ready?"
I nod my head as my father asks, one last time, "Are you sure we can't give you a lift to the train station?"
"No, thanks," Ethan replies. "It will be fine for me to leave my car in the lot, and then it will be there when we return late on Sunday. No need for you to be out that late."
It's only about half an hour to the train station in East Lansing. We're comfortably quiet during most of the drive. As we approach the train, a staff member lays a bridge plate across the gap between the platform and the train to help me with the step, which seems unnecessary, but I appreciate it all the same.
We find our seats, which are spacious and situated near the dining car. I'm relieved because I'm getting quite hungry as I hadn't taken the time to eat breakfast in the rush of packing and getting ready to leave.
"Well, we're on our way!" Ethan enthuses as he grabs my hand playfully. "This should be fun."
I nod in agreement as I secretly hope that he won't let go of my hand. His touch is so warm and reassuring. I close my eyes and lean my head against the seat. Ethan's hand remains firmly gripped around mine. I think I must doze off for a few moments, until I feel the train lurching out of the station. I lazily turn my head toward the window and watch the farm fields of MSU streaming by.
"Are you hungry?" Ethan asks.
"Starving!" I reply gratefully.
He offers to get food and bring it back for me, but I insist that I want to accompany him to the dining car. Walking on the train is a little more challenging than walking on firm ground, so Ethan offers me a few tips about keeping my balance, placing his hands on my hips for good measure.
The dining car is bright and cheerfully decorated with blues and greens. There is a small bar where we place our orders, and then we make our way to the booths. The nice thing about traveling by train is that every seat has a view.
My hamburger is perfectly delicious. My mind flashes back to that first night Ethan visited me in the hospital, when he shared his burger with me. He catches the smile on my face.
"What?" he asks.
"Just remembering when you shared your dinner with me at the hospital. It seems like such a long time ago."
He agrees and tells me, "You've made astounding progress, Sarah. Really. I haven't seen many people bounce back as quickly as you have."
Another blush overtakes my face, something I wish I could control. "That means a lot, coming from you, you know. Thank you." He nods warmly. "I just remember thinking that I must have looked like hell after lying for there for however many days, with greasy hair and probably bad breath."
"Not at all," Ethan laughs a good-natured laugh. "You're beautiful. And I've thought that from the very first moment I laid eyes on you."
I look down uncomfortably. "When I was dying?"
"Yeah," he sighs. "Even when you were dying. I saw it in your eyes. Courage. Tenacity. Strength."
"Thank you," I whisper, swallowing the lump in my throat. No one besides my parents had ever called me beautiful.
Back in our seats, I doze off again quickly. In addition to rushing around this morning to get ready, I had stayed up far too late last night, trying to decide on clothing. It's the 4th of July weekend, and it's bound to be scorching in Philly. I knew I had to pack shorts, but I wanted a pair of jeans in case I'm feeling self-conscious at some point.
When I awaken, I realize that I've been resting against Ethan's shoulder and that he had put a blanket around us. I open my eyes before I move, not alerting him that I'm awake. I watch as he peruses a random catalog. I start to giggle when he spends far too much time on the page containing a bizarre-looking helmet that claims to regenerate hair.
"Are you worried about hair loss?" I question.
"No, just wondering if people ever buy any of these gadgets. I mean, how does this company stay in business?"
"I don't know," I laugh. "What time is it?"
"About 5:30. Hungry for dinner yet?"
"No, not really," I tell him. "But if you're hungry, you can go ahead. I will probably wait a few hours."
"I'll wait too, then." He smiles. "Did you have a good nap?"
I nod. I lean away from him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to use you as a pillow."
"It's all right," he tells me softly, shaking his head. "You know that."
"Ethan," I say nervously. I'm not sure if this is the time to open this discussion. But, seeing as we have another seven hours on the train before arriving in Philly, I guess there's no time like the present. He looks at me, his eyes full of expectation. "I, um, well I want to tell you something...." Oh, my gosh, could I sound any more like a silly little school girl?
There's a smile hiding in his eyes because I'm pretty sure he knows what I'm going to say.
I decide that blurting it out is the best way to go. "I'm falling for you. And I guess I'm done being confused. I'm done thinking."
"Meaning what?" That little smile is spilling onto the rest of his face.
"Meaning..." I bite my lip anxiously, "...I want us to be together." And then, somewhat impulsively, I lean in and kiss him hard on the lips, before I even have time to think about it. He responds with a full-force kiss that sweeps me completely off my feet. My heart begins pounding and my body is tingling. His hand drifts to my cheek, caressing my skin while we remain connected.
I'm sure we could keep our lips locked all the way to our destination, but the train slows as it pulls in to another station. He breaks the kiss as new passengers board, but he leans his forehead against mine, saying quietly, "That's the best news I've ever heard."
Several of the new passengers take their seats near us. What rotten timing. I've been holding back for so long that now I would be entirely happy to make out with my man. However, it's probably not all bad. I enjoy kissing Ethan so much that if I allow myself to do it for too long, I might get carried away.
"Thank you for being patient with me," I say quietly as the train starts moving again.
"Of course," he replies, pulling me to snuggle in next to him again and draping his arm over my shoulder. I lean against his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and I'm pretty sure it's going twice as fast as it should be. I'm lulled to sleep again by the motion of the train and our newfound closeness.
The rest of the time on the train flies by with dinner and a few movies on my tablet. Even though it's mid-summer, the air conditioning on the train makes it feel like mid-December. I am grateful for the opportunity to huddle close to Ethan under a blanket.
When the train finally pulls in to the 30th street station in Philly, we're accosted by Sam as soon as our feet touch the platform. "You're here!" she screeches and grabs us both in a big hug.
We manage our way through the station, retrieve our luggage and hail a cab, all without much hassle. Upon arriving at Sam's tiny apartment, I am rejuvenated. Thunder has been rolling through since we arrived, but we were lucky enough to escape most of the downpours. Ethan decides to get some sleep right away, camped out on Sam's couch, so Sam and I retire to her bedroom. It is an incredibly small room with just enough space for a twin bed and a small dresser.
"Am I sleeping in the closet?" I ask.
"No!" She laughs and reaches underneath the bed. She pulls out a trundle bed that is already made up with cozy sheets and blankets.
We settle in for another installment of our lifelong slumber party. The first thing out of Sam's mouth is, "So....?"
"So...what?" I ask, pretending not to get the hint that she wants details about Ethan and me. So I launch into a long description of being fitted for my prosthetic leg, and the ensuing therapy. "How am I doing? It looks pretty natural, right?" I question Sam about my appearance and my walking skills.
"You're doing great!" She gushes. "In fact, when I first saw you getting off the train, I forgot for a moment that you lost your leg. I'm sure Ethan has helped you a lot."
"Of course, he's awesome. But he's not my therapist anymore, remember?"
"Sarah," she says, warning me that she wants meat, not just appetizers.
"Yes, he does come to my sessions quite often. And...." I intentionally pause just to let the suspense build.
"And???" She squeals impatiently.
"Shhh! He's sleeping!" I playfully reprimand her. Then I continue, "And I kissed him again."
"Yay!" She squeals this time in a whispering voice.
"And, I told him that I want to move forward in our relationship," I say, shrugging, happy that it's now out in the open. "So, I guess we're kind of official now."
Sam jumps up on her bed and does a goofy happy dance, shaking her arms all around, mouthing out "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!"
"You are such a freak," I tell her, trying to make my face look like I'm irritated with her. Instead I fall back laughing and hit my head on her dresser. "Ow!" I yelp.
Sam laughs like crazy and jumps down off her bed, asking if I'm okay.
"No!" I'm half laughing and half crying, because I hit it on a sharp corner and it just really stings.
She runs out to the kitchen, which is also the living room and she throws open the freezer. Ethan appears in the bedroom doorway. "Everything okay in here?"
"No," I whimper. "I hit my head."
He sits down on the trundle and says, "Let me see."
"It's fine, it's just a bump," I tell him.
Sam comes back in with a lunchbox ice pack.
"Oh, that will feel really good on my head," I scoff.
"No, you need it," Ethan insists. "And it's bleeding a little. Sam, do you have any antibacterial cream?"
She runs out to the bathroom and tears back in as if it's a life or death situation.
"Would you both relax? I just bumped my head a little bit. You were all calm when I was actually dying and now you act like the world is ending!"
"I was calm," Ethan begins. "But Sam here was screaming like a banshee."
"Do you blame me?!" Sam sneers. "My best friend was dying and some weirdo was practically lying on top of her."
I have a brief flash of what that scene must have looked like from an observer's perspective. Probably pretty darn scary for everyone. It was no picnic for me either.
"Okay, I don't need to imagine any more about that day, thank you very much. Just give me the ice and I'll be fine." Sam hands it over. I look up at Ethan try to keep my face straight while asking, "Wait, who are you again?"
"Very funny," he says, smirking. He kisses the top of my head, far away from the bump. "Keep that on for at least twenty minutes. And then put some cream on it before you fall asleep."
He leaves and I yell behind him, "Okay, doc!"
"He loves you!" She says in a squealy whisper, after she closes the door. And I'm sure her voice isn't quiet enough for Ethan to not have heard it.
"Shut!" I tell her.
"Really," she says, becoming more serious. "Ethan stayed with us at the hospital for hours and hours. He cares about you. Like, he deeply cares for you."
"I know, but I'm sure it wasn't love at first sight," I moan at the sting of adjusting the ice on my head.
"Actually, I think it was," Sam whispers.
I think she's joking, but when I look at her, she's dead serious. "Are you insane?" I whisper back. "Who falls in love with a woman who's half dead?"
"I don't know, Sarah. I'm just calling it like I see it." With that, we both snuggle down into our beds and turn the lights off, but it's hours before we stop talking and fall asleep.
We sleep late into the morning and then Sam treats us to a phenomenal breakfast at a nearby cafe. We spend the morning and early afternoon sightseeing. We walk the area around Sam's apartment; since she is right downtown, we are afforded easy access to many historic places.
Sam had been able to borrow a wheelchair for the weekend, just in case I needed it. When we had left the apartment, we didn't take it with us because we hadn't planned on walking around so much. Since everything was in such close proximity, we've just meandered through the streets, taking in the sights and sounds of Philly.
But when we stop for some rest and air conditioning at a small shop, I give Ethan a worried look. "My leg is getting really tired, and kind of sore. I think it's a long way back to the apartment."
"Hmm, well, I can always give you a piggy back ride," he smiled.
"Very funny," I say. "I have to find a restroom to adjust my sock."
Ethan tracks down Sam who has wandered to a different part of the shop. He tells her something and then we head out. A few blocks away, we stop at a coffee shop with a few booths near the window. Ethan orders coffee along with some goodies while I head to the restroom with Sam. I ask her to come into the handicap-accessible stall with me for no good reason other than I want her close by. I've done this lots of times, but I guess I just want her comfort. I sit down on the toilet, which isn't very comfortable when there's no cover. I pull out socks of a few different thicknesses and monkey around with them a bit, trying to decide which will work the best. It actually takes me a few different attempts of putting the leg back on and standing and then sitting back down again to adjust. I must be tired or something because it's not usually so complicated. I sit down for the last time to try one more sock and I almost fall into the toilet, which causes Sam to fall right to the ground laughing.
"Oh, my gosh! Get up! It's filthy down there!" I chide her as I try not to laugh and to get everything situated. Finally, my leg is back in place and we're ready to go.
"Everything all right?" Ethan asks suspiciously as we take our seats. He's already finished most of his coffee.
"Sarah fell in," Sam deadpans.
"Sam!" I say, smacking her on the arm.
Ethan starts laughing as he asks, "What happened?"
"I almost fell in," I say, feeling annoyed at Sam for blurting out the information for everyone to hear.
She and Ethan start laughing harder, almost to the point of becoming hysterical, when I finally let go and laugh, too.
"In my defense, they should put lids on the toilets."
That just makes them laugh harder and finally we're all laughing so hard that we're getting annoyed looks from the other customers. We decide to take the coffee with us and head back to Sam's apartment.
When we arrive back at Sam's place, she unlocks the door and is greeted by a message flashing on her answering machine. She pushes play and we hear, "Sam! I forgot my purse and my keys at work. My room-mate let me into my apartment last night, but I need to get my purse for the weekend! Can you please meet me at work and let me in?"
Sam looks at us with a frown on her face and says, "Guys, I really have to go. It'll only take me an hour, two at the most, depending on traffic."
"It's fine, Sam. I'm just going to rest for a while anyway," I tell her.
"Yeah, me too," Ethan agrees.
"Help yourself to some lunch while I'm gone, okay?" She yells as she's walking out the door.
"Okay!" I reply, selfishly glad to have Ethan all to myself for a few hours.
* * * * *
Sorry it's been SO long! One daughter graduated from high school and one made her Confirmation and it's just been a little nutty around here.
And to thank you for your patience, here is a TRIPLE UPDATE!