Chapter 7
I was right. My mom was sorry that she missed it. I found that out as I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting to be let in to see Stella. My mom ran up, tears running down her face. "oh my god, Amy!" she said, running up and hugging me. I almost hugged her back, but something held me back. I knew that that something was, too. She could have stopped this from happening, if she hadn't been off screwing that
one guy.
When I didn't say anything, or even acknowledge her existence, my mom stopped hugging me and looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Amy, honey, talk to me," she begged, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you girls. I had no idea, I, I..." my astonished look shut her up. so she wanted me to talk to her? Okay then. "of course You had no idea!" I said, "you were never around to see it! You were always off fucking your boy toy!"
I was mad at my mom for not being there to stop my father from hurting Amy, but the look on my moms face told me that I might have been just a little too harsh. Just a little, if that. "I'm so sorry, Amy," she said, "I should have been there. But I couldn't handle your father. You know what he's like..." unbelievable. I decided that I had definitely NOT been too harsh on her. "yeah, I do know what he's like," I said, trying not to cry, "more then you did."
Realization showed on my mothers face. "Amy, honey," she said slowly, "did your father...did he....rape you, too?" I just stared at my mother for a long minute, and then I got up and walked away. I needed to see Stella.
Stella had a mild concussion, a broken arm, and bruises everywhere, along with the physical and emotional hurt of being sexually abused. However, she was finally conscious, and had apperantly been demanding to see me. Why someone didn't let me in to see her until now, I didn't know why.
I walked into the room she was in, and burst into tears when I saw her laying there, so little, innocent, and broken. It broke my heart just looking at her. Yes, my mother should have been there, but it was my fault, too. I didn't protect Stella, either. And now she was paying the price for it.
"AMYYY!" she yelled when she saw me, trying to sit up. I walked over to her and held her down. "no, Stella, you have to rest," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. Stella looked horrible, frankly. But I could tell she was trying to be strong. "I'm sorry Amy," she said quietly, shocking the hell out of me. "Stella, why in the world are you sorry?" I asked, confused. I should have known, though. I had been in her position before.
"it's my fault," she whispered. I shook my head and grabbed Stellas hand. "no, it's not, I promise," I said, squeezing her hand tight. I didn't want to ever let go. Stella wasn't going to admit that it wasn't her fault, though. She seemed dead set on thinking that it was. "no, Amy," she insisted, "I should have stopped him. I stopped him before."
I froze. She had 'stopped him before'? That meant that he had at least attempted to...rape her before. It was hard to even think about that, let alone talk about it, but I had to.
"what do you mean, you've 'stopped it before'?" I asked quietly, "tell me everything that daddy's done. As much as I wanted that creep locked up, and I definitely wanted to help Stella, I really didn't want an answer. Well, I got one anyways.
"daddy liked to come into my room at night, a lot," she explained quietly, her four year old body shaking, "Sometimes I would hide, and he'd leave me alone. But sometimes he would touch me, and hurt me. He told me that it was 'our little secret' and that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. Especially not you or mommy." she stopped talking for a minute and let a sob escape before continuing. "but today, he was throwing things, and breaking stuff, and he threw me at a wall. Then I woke up here, and I hurt all over!"
Stella was too distraught to say anything else, but she really didn't need to. It was obvious what had happened. Our father had raped me since I was 12 years old, and when he stopped, I thought that he had done just that. Stopped. I had no idea that when he stopped with me, he had started with Stella. Oh dear lord.
I climbed on the hospital bed next to Stella and held her in my arms. She had an IV in one arm and a cast up to her elbow on the other, so it was awkward to hold her, but I managed it. I didn't want to ever let her go.
Stella's crying turned to sobs, and pretty soon I was sobbing along with her. I only stopped when Stella looked up at me and said "did daddy do it to you, too?" I quietly nodded. I didn't know if I should have lied to her, and told her no, since she was so young, but I decided that she at least deserved to know the truth, especially since she didn't know that what had happened to her would probably follow her for the rest of her life. Mine, too.
I was pretty sure that letting someone sleep in the hospital bed with the patient was against the hospitals rules, but the nurses didn't seem to have the heart to break me and Stella apart, because the next thing I knew, I woke up next to a still sleeping stella, laying in the hospital bed.
An extra blanket had been out on us, which I thought was sweet. I wasn't sure if a nurse had done it, or if it had been my mother, who was now asleep in a chair next to Stella and I, under a blanket of her own. I got my answer, though, when a nurse quietly slipped in the room to do something with the machines and winked at me.
"thank you" I whispered. The nurse just smiled and nodded before quietly slipping out of the room. I guess there was still some kind people in this world.
My mom woke before Stella did, waking up with tears fresh in her eyes. Everyone seemed to be crying lately. When she noticed that I was awake, she put her finger up to her lips and stood up. She motioned for me to join her in the hall. I didnt want to leave Stella alone, of course, but she probably wouldn't even wake up while we were gone, and besides, my mother looked like she really needed to talk to me.
I slipped out of the hospital bed without waking up Stella, thankfully, and I covered her with the blanket and tucked her in before walking out into the hallway with my mom.
"let's go get some coffee," my mom suggested, walking with me towards the hospital cafeteria. I shrugged, realizing that it was morning. Coffee actually sounded pretty good right now, even if it was the crappy hospital coffee.
My mother and I got out coffee and sat down in the corner of the cafeteria, where we had a little bit of privacy. We both looked at each other for a second, waiting for the other to speak first. I think my mother realized that I probably wasn't going to talk at all, because she spoke first.
"I'm divorcing your father," she said, her voice strained, "and he's going to trial for endangering the welfare of a child, child abuse, and...rape." It was obvious that it was hard to come to terms with all of this. "for now, he's in the county jail. And there's no way that he won't be convicted."
I only nodded, still not wanting to talk. My mother, sensing that, continued. "he...he's...raped you, hasn't he?" she said, tears falling down her face. She looked me in the eye, and god forbid, I actually saw love in them, or something like it.
Maybe my mother did love me and Stella after all. Who would've guessed. That didn't mean that I had to love her, though. Yes, my father was the one going to jail, but he wasn't the only one who had committed a crime, in my eyes. My mother had too.
My mother, the woman who gave birth and raised (if you could call it that) stella and I, had let this happen. She had put a gap between her and her family, seeking comfort in alcohol and other men. In my eyes, that was just as bad as what my father had done.
I didn't really want to answer my mothers question, but I felt like she had a right to know, being my mother and all. So I nodded hesitantly, before looking away. When my mother saw my nod, she broke down, sobbing.
"I knew it," she cried, "I didn't want to believe it, but some part of me always suspected it!" wow. That was a surprise. And apparently my mother wasn't done. "it's my fault, I left you alone with him, I was always either drinking or off screwing my boss!" so that's who the mystery man that she had been seeing was.
A
My mom stopped talking then, but she couldn't stop crying, as much as she tried to. Anyone else in my position probably would have tried to comfort her in some way, maybe pat her on the back or tell her that it was all okay, but I didn't nothing like that. I didn't even deny that it was her fault, even though I knew it wasn't. Not completely.
Instead of trying to comfort my hysterical mother, I got up, took my coffee, and walked away from her, leaving her there crying, and went all the way upstairs to the room Stella was staying in.
Authors note:
Ta daaaa! You asked for another chapter, and I delivered! Love me! :D
What do you guys think of the way the stories turning out?? Do you all hater their dad? I do!!
I was getting all emotional as I was writing this chapter. The thought of poor Stella, lying in a hospital bed...so sad! D:
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The more I get, the faster I'll upload, because I'll feel all guilty and such for making you guys wait!!
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Xoxo.