Shout out to all my readers, fans and friends who have been supporting, I have made a few errors the past few days and deleted my chapters and all my lovely comments, hopefully by the time this is posted I would have gotten them back, fingers crossed.
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It is Friday morning and I am sitting in my hotel room relaxing, I had had a busy week with all the conferences I attended and other programs I had to be involved in. I even had to give a presentation on behalf of my own company.
The conference was now over because some of the companies that were to be in attendance didn't make it. So we were able to wrap things up early. I was scheduled to fly back home tomorrow morning, spend two days there then back on a plane with Chris to go visit my family in Connecticut.
But as for today I have the rest of it to myself so I will be doing a little sightseeing and relaxing, maybe I will even get a massage to drive away all the stress I have had the past month.
I had constantly called Kate to be sure she was doing alright; I kept in touch with both her parents and Chris to be sure she wasn't hiding things from me. I knew she had gone through a lot and I wanted to be sure she would be alright.
Chris had told me that he had invited her to church several times but she said she wasn't up to being around too many people, so I told him to give her some space and one day she will be up to it.
All I could do from my end for the time being was pray for my best friend and ask the dear Lord to comfort her during this time. I had to admit when we had first been found and got back into our daily lives I was a bit paranoid but the Lord put peace in my heart and things turned around for me after a few days.
But now I had other things on my mind, not only was I going to see me mother after all these years but I also had to figure out what I was going to do about my feelings for Chris and decide if my relationship was going to continue with Eric.
I mean we all make mistakes; I was not going to judge him after abandoning my own family all these years and never really looking back. But in a sense this was different, the trust I had in him was broken and I was no longer that confident in our relationship either.
I sometimes blamed myself because had I not pushed him into the church thing this might not have happened but then I thought maybe no matter what I did or didn't do, it would have happened sooner or later. I was so confused and didn't know which way was up or down with us.
On the other hand I had constant thoughts of Chris; I had fun with him, felt safe around him, he made me laugh when I felt like crying and he knew me better than I knew myself. I considered him one of my best friends and didn't want to jeopardize that friendship but I was beginning to feel as though I had to tell him how I felt. Not only because I was on the verge of imploding but also because I was used to telling him everything and life is too short.
I could have died a few weeks ago and would not have had the chance to tell him how I felt, so I was more or less thinking it was time to confess and move forward.
I decided it made no sense sitting in this room, so I would go for a walk to clear my head and just as I got to my feet my cell rang.
Checking the id my heart felt like it did a summer salt, a smile spread across my face and I sat back down while answering the call.
"Hello"
"Hey Sisi, how is the conference going?"
"It went well; we ended up wrapping things up early so I have the day to myself."
"That's great, you have some down time to unwind, and you really do need it."
"Exactly what I was thinking but I couldn't decide what I wanted to do."
"Hmm, well you could take a walk or why don't you do the spa thing, get a massage, a steam bath, the hot rocks the whole she bang." I smiled thinking that he really did know me very well.
"Well all of that was on my to do list, but I think I will do the walk first, I need to clear my head."
"Sisi...is something bothering you, I mean besides being kidnapped an all, before you left it seemed like you had come to terms with it and was feeling more at peace."
"Yes I am, no it's not about the kidnapping."
"Well if you are worried about Kate don't be, we had dinner last night because she needed to talk and I think she is feeling better, she even agreed to go to church with me tomorrow, and I didn't even suggest it, she asked me."
"Oh that's wonderful, I guess I will meet you guys there then, but no I am not too worried about Kate any more I am leaving the situation in the hands of the Lord."
"Meet us there, why would you do that, I will come get you from the airport then I will take you both to church with me."
"Oh thanks so much Chris I didn't want to have to wake you so early to get me, I will be coming in around 5:30am."
"Oh come on Sisi, you know that I got you, well if it's not Kate or the kidnapping what's bothering you? Would you like to talk about it?"
"Normally I would but while talking to you I just realized that I have not spoken to the one person who I know will be able to help me, God."
"Well I am glad you have someone to talk to, if you need me you know where to find me, I have to run, have to head to court. I will call you tonight to get your flight information, and then I will see you bright and early tomorrow morning."
"Ok Chris thanks again and I will get all the info you need by tonight when we talk again. Have a great day in court."
"Thanks, talk to you soon, bye."
"Bye"
After I hung up the phone I was feeling sort of giddy from our conversation, I mean I loved talking to Chris but the thought that came to me while we were speaking was to take my situation to the Lord, I am sure he will lead me in the right direction, I just had to trust him.
I decided to go for a walk first then come back and pray, then get a massage; I almost skipped out the door with how excited I was feeling.
While on my walk I took in the sites and talked to God as I went along, my phone rang again and when I looked at the id I frowned, it was Eric and I was normally very happy to see his name pop up on my phone but after everything happened I no longer got butterflies when he called.
Something was telling me that just by reaction to the calls which way my heart was leaning, I knew what I needed to do, and it wasn't going to be easy but it had to be done, I deserved to be happy and so did Eric.
"Hey what's up?" I answered as sweetly as possible.
"Hi love, how are you doing today?" at the mention of love I felt a little uncomfortable but didn't let it show in my voice.
"I am fine, just out for a walk at the moment, relaxing and enjoying the sites."
"Oh that sounds fun, is your conference over or are you on break?"
"Yes, it's over we ended early so I have the day to myself to unwind and will be back home tomorrow morning early."
"Oh that's wonderful I can't wait to see you, I will come get you from the airport, what time is your flight?"
"Umm, that's not necessary I have already gotten a ride, but thanks anyways, however I do want to see you, maybe Sunday afternoon, because I will be going to church tomorrow when I get back."
"You have a ride already, I am guessing Chris, but Sunday sounds fine, maybe we can have brunch or something."
"Yeah Chris beat you too it and brunch sounds wonderful, I will not be able to stay too late I have to get home and finish packing."
"That's right, you are going to visit your family after all these years, I am happy that you have finally reconnected with your mom, I know it was bothering you over the years but I didn't want to push you into anything."
"Well thanks for not pushing; I didn't even know when I became ready but I do know if you had said anything before we might have gotten into a fight over it. The Lord really had worked on my heart and I am happy about that."
"No problem, and I will be looking forward to seeing you Sunday, any idea what you want to eat?"
"Hmm not really, but since you have pretty good taste in food and you know what I like; just pick something, now will this be at a restaurant or your place?"
"I was thinking of ordering in, but if you rather a restaurant then I can make reservations."
"No ordering in is fine, it will give us a chance to be alone."
"My sentiments exactly, well babe I got to get back to work, I will talk with you soon, love you."
"Ok, bye"
I didn't know if I was ready to say I love you to Eric as yet, we had a lot to talk about and that was in the front of my mind. But as of right now I was heading back to the hotel to get ready for my spa appointment I made it before taking my walk, I needed to unwind and if I didn't do it soon I was going to lose my mind.
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Chris
Just as I ended the phone call with Simone I love you was on the tip of my tongue but I held it back, I needed to tell her how I felt but I wasn't sure when would be the right time, I had prayed about it several times and was trying to be patient.
I knew she and Eric had not broken up and she had a lot of things on her plate at the moment, I don't want to be an added complication. I prayed that God would help me be a solution.
But I also had another problem; I had started to develop feelings for Lily but didn't want to string her along. I needed to tell her what was going on with me and if nothing else be able to maintain a friendship with her; she was too amazing for all these issues I had unresolved.
I also remembered Kate and our dinner last night, she had told me what Patrick had said and she was freaking out a little, after she calmed down, she had mentioned that she was thinking about getting a gun for protection and taking lessons.
I was a little shocked by her revelation but my face didn't show it, I didn't want to judge her not after all she went through and then her telling me that she was constantly looking over her shoulder and was terrified at night because she was worried that they would get in the Condo again like they did when they got Simone.
I couldn't blame her for feeling this way and since she wasn't a Christian I could understand that she felt a little alone, but I said a quick prayer in my heart, asking God to give me the right words to say to her and He did.
In the end she asked me to pray for her and if she could go to church with me this weekend, I was overjoyed by this and told her definitely.
I started gathering my folders and placed them in my brief case so I could head to court, I had a case to fight and I needed to focus. Before leaving my office, I got down on my knees and asked the Lord to guide my path, my words and my thoughts and may my actions reflect what he wants them to.
I then headed out the door, stopping briefly to speak with my secretary. Then I headed for the elevator. I couldn't wait to see Simone tomorrow but after court today I was planning on calling Lily and explaining to her my current situation.
I valued her friendship and I wanted to be fair to her and not selfish. The next thing I had to do was tell Sisi and hope for the best. I didn't know how she was feeling about Eric but I couldn't go on with my feelings for her and not say anything. I would tell her while we were visiting her family but I intended to give her space afterwards.
I arrived at court on time, and then I was in my zone, I would not allow any other thoughts to infiltrate my brain and distract me; I had worked really hard on this case and needed to see it through.
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So Simone has some tough choices to make, any feedback on who she should choose? I am still undecided about the whole thing. I mean, people make mistakes and deserve second chances and just because Chris seems perfect doesn't mean they will be perfect together. Ugh I am confused.
P.S. I got all my work back and I am so happy about that.